tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70786704957920964432024-03-08T03:34:21.719-08:00Manel Blanco Spiritual and life guidance. Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.comBlogger162125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-74634172198559964362020-03-11T07:44:00.002-07:002021-12-05T06:55:48.065-08:00Write to a Healer. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><br /></span>Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-25724358762152229972019-09-01T01:46:00.001-07:002019-12-17T00:50:30.070-08:00How Giving Oral Sex To Women Benefits Men In Relationships.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Men giving oral sex to women seems to continue being a taboo subject, both in discussions and in practice. It's a well known fact that the number of men skilled in the art of pleasing a woman orally is low. Women's complaints of neglect and lack of ability echoes all around the world in a period in which they had enough and decided to push for equality, as well as what they believe they deserve. The message is loud and clear for those who want to hear. These claims are what everyone without exception should have.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a fact that understanding women has been, and it still is today one of men's obsessions, as it is true that most men make little to no effort to explore a woman where it matters -not just her body-, so as to access this knowledge that can only be reached through a different kind of connection to what we had so far. A more sensual and humane approach. We have to meet women in their terms; the feared unknown. It's not possible to understand any individual or an entire gender by neglecting and ignoring their needs. How anyone could think that the understanding of a woman can be reached while ignoring such vital part of them is beyond reason. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every woman is different, so even though it's possible to reach them all in certain ways, there is also a complex individuality that make the magic formula impossible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only logical reason not to give oral sex to a woman is because she has suffered genital mutilation, in which case, her body will adapt to be more sensitive to penetration, so as to enjoy it more, as well as to have orgasms. Female mutilation doesn't have the effect intended by men, as the human body is much more intelligent that any human mind, adapting to circumstances. In other words, a woman who has suffered genital mutilation can still enjoy sex very much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">None of the reasons given by men to not go down on a woman have any credibility. Claiming that the smell puts them off has an easy solution. In an intimate relationship one should be confident enough to ask for something as simple as cleanliness if this is the case. Intimacy requires a certain level of maturity in order to cover the basis of the relationship. Some people like it dirty, some people don't. It's as simple as asking. This is just an example of a reason given by many, but in essence, men who do not give oral sex to women simply do not like, nor respect that woman enough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Giving oral sex to a woman benefits a man in ways that can only be understood through the experience of actually doing it. Life is about experience. Too often we dream of an adventure thinking that it's far away, when the adventure is actually right in front of us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not a mechanical act. If a man wants the woman to respond, there has to be a level of trust. Mechanical movements might give away the impression that the giver is not interested or just wants to get on with it and finish. It's not a chore, but a passionate act of love. Hardly a woman would open up and let a man access to her deeper secrets if he doesn't really want to know. There are many ways of asking and not all of them are verbal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's important to consider the rest of the body, not just the clitoris, the labia or the vagina. It's a multi-tasking act that requires a man's full attention and intention. Attention to her body movements, in what direction she moves, how and why. In many ways she's silently directing the man towards what he has to do. A woman knows that a man wants to discover and find the mystery by himself. Women are far more instinctual and intelligent than what men would like to believe. The first time with a woman, oral sex might not reach its peak, as this is yet to come. This should not be discouraging and it's a good idea to swallow our male ego and admit that we're learning; that we don't know everything. There will be more opportunities to continue exploring her body, her sensations, her climax and how to lead her there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not knowing and allowing ourselves to learn is man's way to face his vulnerability in a playful way, which makes it more fun and easier to learn. Vulnerability does not always have to be a scary experience. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As every woman is different, the hands also play an important part, not only in her vagina and clitoris, but the rest of her body. On this she would also direct a man towards what she likes and what he should do. In most cases men do tend to ignore that a clitoris is just a part of a whole body, and that by stimulating it, we're also stimulating the rest of her anatomy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is no rush to get to the end, and as a man observes and pauses, he will gain more confidence in his skills. Oral sex turns into a synergetic experience. It's normal for a man to feel hesitant or fearful of his ability to please a woman in such way due to lack of experience or previous negative experiences, what can lead to rushing the act, therefore, the patience of a learner is necessary, as well as the curiosity of the adventurer. An observant man will soon realise that the woman is leading him towards the openness of her body, her climax and to a part of her self-expression that she doesn't show to anyone else. While she's enjoying it, she's not in a rush. This is a playful moment in which two people learn to communicate sensually and instinctively. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If a man is observant and patient, he will soon realise that he is doing things that he didn't know, which is natural in every adventure. At this point, not only is he learning about her, but about himself. It helps to develop emotional, as well as sexual intelligence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While the man explores, getting to know this woman, she's most likely to lead, but it's also possible for the man to do so whether he is familiar with her body or not. Take into consideration that what humanity lacks most is touch, and when this is given with love during the sexual act, the level of satisfaction can only multiply. This is the reason why foreplay is essential in order to get to know each other's bodies, to begin to trust, to observe and familiarise with the other person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A woman would allow a man to lead when he shows initiative, and if directing him, she would do so in the most subtle manner.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As the act advances, -the first or the fifth time-, a more confident man can only deliver a better service. At one point, when proximity and intimacy grow, this woman would begin to feel and have sensations that she probably never had before, also learning parts of herself that she had not previously experienced. This can be explained as simply as no one took the time to touch and reach her to that point. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oral sex with the same woman can be different each time. There is a tongue, lips, finger, hands, sound, breath, words, movements and pause. Oral sex is the art of exploration of a woman's body and her sensations. It's a fact that the world suffers from lack of intimacy, but also receiving, as people are often conditioned to give and please others. Once a woman has reached the point in which she is open to receive, it's not only oral sex that she will accept, but other parts of a man who have not been expressed that far. In this part of intimacy, a man is planting seeds for a new universe to appear between him and a woman. Not all women are as receptive from the start. It does take care, love and trust to reach that point. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't only affect sex or oral sex, but it leads to more open and intimate relationships and conversations, which can be conducted in a similar way. Patience, trust, observation do help to recognise the right timing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pause alone can lead two people to a different dimension provided they're both in tune with the sensations of the act. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One fact that might surprise most men is that while giving oral sex, they do develop parts of themselves such a patience. While doing it is arousing, in the waiting time, a man gains what is required to last longer during sex. Rush is not a good friend in sex.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being able to please one woman might allow to please other women, but as there is no magic formula, he would have to learn again the mechanisms and movements. There are, of course, men who can please most women orally. These men have taken their time to explore, learn and actually enjoy it. The effect at the first interaction will never be the same. Intimacy and in this case oral sex can be a magical journey that improve the quality of sex between two people if the time is taken. Something else that a man might want to consider is that no one else will reach there; not before, not after, hence, it's worth taking the time to care about the person who chooses to have sex with us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oral sex or any other type of sex that so far has been considered an act to please the self and others has incredible ways to open up new worlds for both men and women, if we choose to pause and look at the other person with the same care that we would like to receive ourselves. The fact is that it doesn't end in just oral sex. When new sensations arise, new worlds emerge and this can only cause a person to expand and evolve, and if done together, it can lead to an incredibly solid relationship, which is not just based on sex, but love, respect and the natural curiosity to explore the other person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It does also help men to explore and develop sensuality and playfulness; two aspects that men seriously need to develop.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If we don't know more about our partners it's only because we don't take the time to explore ourselves or others. This is due to the automatic pilot fuelled by self-righteousness and the urgency to be always right in order to hide our insecurities and limitations. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are more benefits for men in giving oral sex to women than the ones mentioned above, but let her lead you there, and allow yourself to find out. She will definitely open up, but can you?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Needless to say, that oral sex is not the magic key to keep relationships going, but as a couple become more intimate, it begins to open doors leading towards people's needs. It's worth taking the time and discover who our partners are if we want a relationship to be successful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, this blog post is written for men, and with the intention to serve as a guidance that encourages men to explore new aspects, ideas and perspectives in sexual relationships, as as to contribute to improve and achieve better relationships between men and women. The key to success is getting down to it and find out. We have reached a period in history, in which men have to choose between being a man or continue being boys. The choice is always yours; and it's this choice what would make a difference in your life.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2017/09/reuniting-with-twin-flame-one-that-got.html">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-25460359640227235262019-03-11T09:01:00.004-07:002019-03-11T12:45:06.385-07:00Women's International Day: Women Transforming The World. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's incredible, although not surprising that there's still a large part of the population opposing feminism and the demand for equality for men and women. The reasons men believe to have to oppose such change is based on unfounded fears of what might happen the moment women reach equality and respect, as any other human being would ask for. We're asking for human basic rights, not the submission or exploitation of the male population. Someone might want to check what equality means. There are so many wonderful facts to share about the role of women in transforming the world, so as to create a society that serves everyone's needs. It might be understandable to a certain extent that men, and some women oppose the unstoppable change that's coming, but to remain uninformed in the age of information is nothing but utter ignorance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Women's rights are human rights, as it is the rights of children and men. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We're well past the times in which ignorance was considered to be a blessing. There's nothing blissful when what it is demanded in many cases is a matter of life and death, and in the case of hundreds of thousands, even millions the consequences that women must carry for the rest of their lives after being subjected to sexual aggressions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last year Women's International Day caught me in Murcia, south Spain, where I arrived with the intention to stay only a few days. It didn't take me long to decide to stay a bit longer. After living England's apathy for 25 years and another period in France, spending time in Murcia turned to be a blessing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There was a significant difference between Women's International Day in Spain and the rest of the world, and media offered an extensive coverage of the events taking place. Women went on strike to show the world, what life would be like without their participation. It was certainly noticed and noted. On the day, there were demonstrations with a large number of women protesting and claiming the right to equality and a life without fear and violence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What differentiates these events from any other protest or demonstration was the energy that women infused in the city that day. Not only they raised their voices to claim what's just. At the same time there was a celebration of being a woman, and all together in the streets they showed the world one voice, one love. Together. Anyone could tell that the energy of the city had changed. It was colourful, vibrant and powerful. Yet, at no point there were violent incidents, nor anyone felt threatened by it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The lack of violence or disturbances should raise some questions in the most sceptical. The answers are simple. Women are advocating for a world without violence. A fair world that provides for everyone, and in which we all feel safe, in order to life a happy life. Anyone opposing equality can ask all the questions they want. The answer always lead to the same place: a nurturing world in which kindness, love, creativity or cooperation to name only a few, are the norm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the patriarchal society we live in, these values are, somehow commended, but competition, greed and violence are leading the world to its end instead. It's a cruel world based on the obsolete values and rules of a system that is no longer necessary. Everyone loses, not just women, although this seems to be a truth that most people do not quite understand yet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I norm, I give these blog posts a more universal voice that reach both, men and women, as the intention is to deliver messages to those who are seeking, thus there's no point to differentiate between genders. This one is to women. If you happened to be a man reading this, you must be seeking or are simply curious, so I hope you find in these words new ideas or information that may change your perspective. If only one man begins to change the way we see women, patriarchy and the damage that is causing to individuals and the collective, this time spent writing was worthwhile. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a large number of men opposing feminism because we're afraid that we're going to lose our 'rights' inherited from a patriarchal society in which male domination was the norm, and women, subhumans who were placed on earth to serve the needs of men. The fear of losing such rights shows in some men as a tantrum who for many reasons have not developed empathy towards others, not just women and who want to continue with the world as it is for selfish reasons, not understanding that there are better ways. We believed what the patriarch told us without giving it a second thought. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We men believe that when women achieve what they're demanding now, we're going to be treated as women have been treated throughout centuries; that we're going to be the recipients of an illusory revenge. Revenge is male thinking and nothing, but a naive belief that lives in seriously misinformed men. Anthropologists who studied matriarchal societies stopped their studies because they found no evidence of hierarchy, violence or conflict due to unfair ruling, therefore, it was not interesting to continue such studies. Lack of all these issues in a matriarchal society doesn't give any material for sensationalist headlines. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This fear is based on the fact that many women had to adopt a series of masculine traits to make it in a man's world. It could be argued that these women have lost somehow part of their femininity, but no one can claim that they're no longer women, they just did what they believed they had to do in order to succeed in their lives. It's a cruel and unfair society; no one escapes from becoming what we're not and that includes men too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Men have also adopted some traits of what today is described as 'toxic masculinity'; traits that do not have much to do with being a man. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is a fact that not only men are worried about what changes a more equal society may bring. The system is worried too. As the world irreversibly is changing, corporations and governments are on their toes observing and waiting to see what happens next. Men fear to be excluded, a theory that is misinformed and which some pressure groups are promoting. Corporations fear that an ethical economy might be established, and governments do fear to lose influence and the power to control the masses that they have to this date and the current hierarchical systems allow. All together fear a more conscious society and the rise of collective consciousness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is a lot to fear, as it leads men to the gates of the unknown, a territory in which we have not managed to move comfortably. It's also an opportunity for every man to embrace the best part of themselves, so as to serve, support and create a world that meets everyone's needs. In the end is matter of perspective and it's easy to reach out for the known topics and clichés. We're not so courageous after all, as we have not gone deep enough in the beautiful adventure of personal and collective transformation. This begins with individual transformation. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To serve and support the world is a move from individualism so well promoted by patriarchy and neoliberalism, as it contributes to separate people. Moving from individualism towards universality is a way to expand showing leadership and taking responsibility for our actions and how they might affect the collective. It's also a move from the selfish needs of the ego towards a better society. It doesn't mean that anyone must deny themselves their needs, nor sacrifice their wellbeing, but to aim at living in a society in which everyone thrives in abundance, instead of the current system that promotes lack and separation. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The amount of benefits for everyone is countless, but we won't see this until we allow equality and freedom to reign the world. What kind of person negates freedom, equality and their human rights to another person? The answer is simple: a very small one. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If only men knew to what level of submission we do exist under a patriarchal and hierarchical society, every man would be on the streets demanding equality and a major transformation in society. But we don't. We only think we think we know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Years ago I wrote that women will change the world. This is a fact, as women have such ability and it's a matter of time they see the incredible power of transformation they have, both individually and collectively. Women do have something that can't be quite explained in practical terms; a closer and deeper connection with the soul. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But it's not only with the connection with the soul that the world changes to what is supposed to be. Women are also proposing practical changes, such as education or an ethical economy; changes that will only benefit the collective and everyone in it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps the most important part in such transformation is what most people are missing, the fact that once equality for all and the rights and safety of women are achieved, what we're going to see is not the masculinised woman who had to play hard to make it in the world, but a new kind of woman who thrives in freedom and love. We have not seen this woman yet, not collectively at least, and this is a vision worth working and waiting for. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With these changes, we're also going to see a new man. More and more men are moving towards the transformation that's coming, a new and equal society. It's not only women who desire this change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the biggest difficulties that we face as human beings in the transformation of the world towards an equal society is that people do not take the time to be informed, choosing instead to rely in the cultural misinformation, -not that it contains any culture-, use clichés as absolute truths or personal experiences, such a conflict with an ex-partner to define a collective. This can be seen in politics when people decide to vote headlines full of lies, false promises that are never delivered, and lacking a clear knowledge of what a political party proposes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such outlook on life denotes a clear lack of leadership in individuals who still believe that the authorities would do what's necessary to provide for the needs of people. It has never happened and it will never happen. Thus, people prefer to live an unconscious life, as long as reality doesn't affect them, even though, every day we experience the consequences of our fearful choices. To live an unconscious life might seem the right choice, as the impression is that everyone is doing it, therefore it must be the right choice. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Many are separating from this approach. The unconscious has never brought any good to the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Personally, I can't wait to see that day. Perhaps the only note before ending this piece of writing is that women need to include men in this transformation, a different kind of man, maybe, but we need to be included, but this is a subject for another day. The world is going to need everyone's contribution in order to change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, we've been following a system in which women were disempowered centuries ago, being excluded from any decision making in the development of society. It seems to me that it's a good idea to consider a new system. This one is not working, and it's not working because under the current one, no one is free. Not even if you're a man and think that you are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This transformational process is unstoppable, and people must decide whether they want to be part of it or not, whether they want to live in a free world or not. There are many things that we men are not telling women due to fear of not being enough or being criticised. It's a matter of looking at what we can do now differently, not at what we did or what we believe we are right now. Our current beliefs might have helped us to get to what we are now, but want take us to where we want to be, nor will show us who we really are. It's called taking responsibility, to look within and show our most authentic self. Being authentic and responsible, no one desires the submission of others. In freedom, we thrive. Are you thriving and living or just surviving?</span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-20151025141785118592019-02-08T12:54:00.001-08:002019-02-08T12:54:51.108-08:00Why Men Are Angry At The Gillette Video. <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWcVw-H2bE3R34aoX_dThhattAa848qqB3-3UfiQsLgc56xGut5_AZKmO71mr16NV89PokKgfGmpELDPp28P2MnB17qU-89t95_jvYF2Ri7zuW1_m_0ajCGHfFnJNCXqYQBZ6EPGKEt0/s1600/gillette+angry+men+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="680" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWcVw-H2bE3R34aoX_dThhattAa848qqB3-3UfiQsLgc56xGut5_AZKmO71mr16NV89PokKgfGmpELDPp28P2MnB17qU-89t95_jvYF2Ri7zuW1_m_0ajCGHfFnJNCXqYQBZ6EPGKEt0/s640/gillette+angry+men+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not surprising that <b>men are angry at the Gillette video</b>. After all, <b>anger</b> is the one emotion that <b>masculinity</b> seems to have appropriated to express our feelings. An unwritten rule of <b>male domination</b>. However, this article is not a vehicle to bash men's emotions. It's about time we expressed emotion collectively. It's time that we also do something with it. Unfortunately, it's always the same emotion. We don't seem to move passed that point. It's not that men are short of reasons to be angry, but so everyone else. Women too. Some are justifiable, some may not be. It was expected that the <b>#metoo</b> movement inspired people to create other campaigns, and in this case to take advantage of it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b>Anger is the only emotion socially acceptable that men can express publicly. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's begin with the company that created the publicity stunt. Gillette is the epitome of patriarchy; a hierarchical corporation that for decades have been 'teaching' men how to adopt 'the successful male image' by simply using their products, as many other companies do. An infantile version of prince charming. Although it has, somehow, softened the message of 'how to be a proper man' with the illusory magnetism of its every day less sharpened razors, Gillette has been exploiting the image of the female body to exhaustion. This is portrayed by young, attractive female models employed to promote the company in tight and/or revealing outfits. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Their slogan: "The best a man can get"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The best a man can get written on a woman's outfit has a double meaning. Take all the time you need to figure that one out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gillette has never been a good teacher, and men have never challenged it until it turned 'against' us. Being angry is hardly a challenge! Without a change in policy or previous statement of Gillette's open involvement in a continuous campaign towards equality and/or its contribution to a change in education that leads, not only to respect the basic rights of women, but of the whole of humanity, the video seems and is, opportunistic. But not everything is black and white. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It has indeed helped to raise awareness of a global problem that has serious consequences on everyone, especially on women whom have been, and still are subjected to the sexual violence of men. <b><span style="color: red;">Let's wait and see what happens if or when a senior employee is accused of sexual harassment or worse. </span></b>Yes, the video is condescending, but what to expect from a leading figure of patriarchal society? We've been patronised all along. Why get angry now? Have you ever thought how does it feel for a woman to live in a society where the only well paid job they can get is to be paraded in an all-male-event?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patriarchy is among many other things, a condescending force, which we've been feeding with our money, time and efforts by buying their products. With any amount of money spent to feed any corporation we're supporting the continuance of patriarchal society; although this is just stating the obvious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Too bad that for so long we've turned a blind eye to the obvious because it's convenient until it becomes 'normal'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The joke is on us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> We've paid for the video.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> We've followed their 'teachings'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And as usual, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the patriarch is having a laugh at our expense. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> That's a lot of laughing for a two-faced company which so far has instructed men in </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">following and perpetuating the macho figure directly contributing to rape culture. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being angry at the hypocrisy of Gillette is all too well, as a large number of men do not feel that they've been participant in the unfairly treatment of women or contributed in any way to rape culture. This might or might not be true. It's impossible to know. The overwhelming truth is that almost every woman alive has an account of abuse at the hands of men. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being angry is just fine, and if you want to, be offended too. Let's have another childish tantrum! And when we're finished, let's buy more razors, as if shaving turned us into men.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What's not fine is to remain angry and do nothing to change the course of history. This anger should serve as an energy that gets men out of the apathetic state of being that believes that as I don't do it, I'm neither to be blamed for it, nor it's my job to do anything about it. It's up to us, every man, to create a change, so as to not only prevent fingers pointed at us, but to eradicate the problem from its roots, and this only comes through educating every man and child by example, sometimes intervening in despicable interactions between men and women that up to this day have been socially accepted and condoned by patriarchal society. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Women have to be participant in such education too, as many live by and under the indoctrination of patriarchy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some other times it's as simple as to intervene in misogynistic conversations, of which we have all been either witness, participant or both. We can't deny the fact that the #metoo movement has exploded in our faces because we're responsible. Women are not screaming about men not doing the dishes or the shopping, but an endless number of sexual aggressions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also a fact that every man's actions reflects on the rest of men; as it is that the consequences of such despicable actions lead women to distrust men, which is reflected in relationships. Most men are paying for the previous actions of men who have touched the lives of their partners. If this is not enough to do something about it, I don't know what is. To make this clear, it's not about how it is affecting you, but how it has marked your partner probably for life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The system will never do enough to prevent or change such types of behaviour, as patriarchal society functions on the weakness of its subjects, being male or female. Any type of behaviour that allows anyone to be weakened or humiliated contributes to the weakness of the whole. Patriarchal society is not interested. The weakness of the individual serves its purposes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As men, it is time that we face reality and accept that there's a problem. A problem that once it has been voiced has shaken the foundations of society and painted with shame the faces of many men. Not enough compared with the proportion of the problem or the number of victims or survivors. It is time to face the frustration that we cannot protect our closest female relatives from ourselves and from other men and do something about it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If men were in the habit of sexually harassing other men in public or privately, the streets would be covered in blood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is women who carry the shame of men. It is women who feel such shame, because we, men, continue being angry, refusing to recognise in ourselves other emotions, which would make us stronger. We could begin with the humbleness of accepting the truth, the vulnerability that comes after that, and the shame and guilt that the patriarch so well taught us. Then we can return to anger and change reality. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Men being angry at the Gillette video, is like being angry at the company because we cut ourselves shaving with their razors, compared to the damage and lifelong consequences that women have to live with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What anger does and has been doing all along is to prevent men from feeling deeper emotions. Anger suppresses all other feelings, such as guilt, shame or jealousy, but there are also emotions there: love, kindness, compassion, empathy. Leading our life with anger prevents anyone from being authentic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The video is a true representation of what is happening, not only today, but of the types of behaviours that have been socially acceptable for centuries. In this sense, being angry is inexcusable. What's unfortunate is that continue we turn a blind eye to one of the most despicable crimes that affect the entire world and the consequences that carry for all of us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where there's a problem, there's also an opportunity for change and a solution. It's up to us to change it, to move on towards a healthier and more creative expression of masculinity. Or we can continue being angry for the rest and never question what we're really angry about. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What we've experienced with this video is the condescending cynicism of a corporation that has been following the unwritten script of the patriarch, instructing us in what today is being called 'toxic masculinity'. It's perhaps time we move pass the message of these corporations and we show that our best is better than their "best a man can get". We are better than that. And we know it. That's why men are angry. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also a rather cynic stance being angry at this video, as it is a sure way of invalidating the problem and the claims of women that all over the world have raised their voices to say that enough is enough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Personally I don't see any reason for anger, with all the wonderful work that there's to do and what we can achieve with it as a collective. We've reached a point in history where we can't keep being blind by choice due to personal comfort and convenience. It's time to be creative, to embrace the new man, who is nothing else but the men we knew we could be all along. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To book an appointment email: manelblanco14@gmail.com </span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-41788589009003044862018-12-13T11:18:00.000-08:002018-12-13T11:19:18.774-08:00The Suppression Of Free Will And The Search For Love And Freedom. <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiti10Ru-s4hZwi0l2sbANafi0nLaUwdyLgD8jSLK-RKw2ST139yJyAC7QGLdhkAcsK7C0N2vIrxmYV6g0_TMvSRasFBPZh4sVWvbIALayZy5fmIG-yZYre6LK_rCMPJCAR6eqQi4CBIo/s1600/Supression+of+free+will++manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="823" height="414" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiti10Ru-s4hZwi0l2sbANafi0nLaUwdyLgD8jSLK-RKw2ST139yJyAC7QGLdhkAcsK7C0N2vIrxmYV6g0_TMvSRasFBPZh4sVWvbIALayZy5fmIG-yZYre6LK_rCMPJCAR6eqQi4CBIo/s640/Supression+of+free+will++manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Free will</b> is a given at the moment of birth. The interpretations that humanity may give or have given to this <b>universal right</b> might differ depending on personal interests or that of the collective, often small groups of power, which by manipulating or by influencing the rhetoric, create a series of the beliefs that often deplete or remove altogether someone's true power. Your <b>power</b>! There can be discussion about it. We can philosophise on the subject until the end of time; but no human indoctrination can deny the divine in free will; it's intrinsic to the human being. It's in our <b>spirit</b>. To deny someone's free will is to deny yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When f</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ree will is denied with the intention to receive something from someone against their will if necessary, it might be possible to feel an immediate sense of victory, satisfaction or power. The truth being rather different. A small victory turns into a defeat that only serves to accentuate a character flaw and the fear to lose control over a person or a group of people. Several facts are ignored at this point, and that is that even if you get what you think or feel you want or need immediately, you're also missing the best expression of that person, as well as initiating a process of separation that may never end. A person who's manipulated to do anything against their will might comply at the time, but they</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> might never trust you again. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whether the person who's been coerced understands what's happening or not, people learn and evolve from hardship. The truth can never be hidden. Truth always finds a way to speak up, to put everything and everyone in their place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only when someone feels free to express themselves in a non-threatening environment they'd offer the best version of themselves. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's much interest in making people believe that the individual doesn't have free will, as it brings an immediate sense of power. Power based on fear is not power. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: blue;">Fear of love.</span></i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a world where the majority of societies act more like cannibalistic parents taking more from their subjects than they give, it </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">leads people to accept a reality of scarcity in which to constantly look to improve living conditions, mostly focused on materialism that cover basic needs and others luxuries available or comfort one can get their hands on, free will sounds like a dreamer's verse lost in the wind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Usually when writing about a subject, I tend to speak of the whole -people-, as within each subject it's possible to encapsulate, if not all, a large amount of people who might be struggling with such issue or another subject that relates. In regards to free will, it includes everyone. The power to stop it or allow it, as well as the power to use it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being free also involves allowing freedom in others. It's essential that we provide for our emotional needs. Seeking such fulfillment from others is not freedom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The loss of free will begins at birth. Some people, the most courageous and daring do their best to keep it despite of the negative consequences that they probably have to endure challenging the status quo at the hands of their parents, the school system, the church or the authorities. It's the first sign of free will, and one that can lead others to desperation, as such individuals are uncontrollable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The evolution of society and human rights have been possible due to the rebellious involvement of a large number of people who didn't hesitate to go against the stream. Those people often paid a high price, such as their freedom or even their lives in order to break through a series of laws, beliefs and traditions that denied humanity their most basic rights. Moreover, people all around the world continue paying the same price. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To live a happy, free life is for the majority of people an act of rebellion. The loss of free will most likely </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">begins at birth, although from the beginning, and for different reasons, parents will influence the choices you make or where your future is leading. Such manipulation doesn't necessarily come from malice. It's likely to be born from fear instead. It could be over-protection or the simple fact that parents don't know better. In any case, it's a challenge that contributes to shape character and personality. Within any repressive system, being human, you will encounter one or another regardless of who or where you are, you also have a choice. If it feels and sounds of freedom, you're on the right path within a supportive environment; if it doesn't, it's your task to make it so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The debate on free will comes with hard truths difficult to accept. To realise that you at one point of another might have coerced or even removed completely the free will of others might not be easy to accept. Within the current flow of the collective unconscious, there's an overwhelming need in the individual to control their environment in order to live with a comfortable level of safety. Any type of behaviour that might challenge your emotional needs turns into a threat, for which reason we use every possible line of action to 'bring people to their senses': in other words; we manipulate others for selfish reasons, so as to make sure that one keeps feeling safe and comfortable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Free will is suppressed in order to avoid any change, coming from people whose lives are have become stagnant, whether they've achieved a certain level of comfort and safety or not. Often people's comfort zones are the most uncomfortable, but as they've not known a better reality, it's fairly easy for them to accept it as the best reality they can reach. Anything or anyone that threatens such scenery will be attacked, and their free will threatened. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The suppression of free will is not be be taken lightly. Everyone is born with a series of gifts and talents. Whether the childhood of the individual is pleasant or not, the pre-established roots of society do have a powerful effect on people, as free will and personal expression are suppressed or restricted, encouraging instead an education that prepares people to reach and maintain a certain degree of functionality throughout life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When free will is suppressed, it causes depression, anxiety, loneliness, melancholy and it can develop into more serious psychological problems, or even lead people to suicide. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Free will is essential in the development and growth of a person. It's suppression is the major reason of neurosis in individuals, which at one point or the other in life reach a breaking point. There used to be the so-called middle age crisis, which people hit at a certain age, but this process seems to take over much younger people, whom frustrated by the impossibility to express themselves in all spheres of life find themselves at a dead end too soon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not that people's dreams die, are not pursued or forgotten, but that we forget that we're the dream while feeding the machinery of a system that doesn't provide room for self-expression. There's neither time, nor the means to achieve these dreams, not to mention to pursue them, while sacrificing mind, soul and body in order to reach a certain level of financial safety that allows us to attain a safe place within the established uniformity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The genius everyone is born within lies dormant within, not turning up for life as it's not required. It's essential to recognise that society doesn't allow individuality, and that the 'individuality' that has so heavily promoted over the last few decades is giving form to dysfunctional characters that want to be seen, seeking the attention and validation they didn't have when we were growing up from the world. This is clearly represented in the cult to the self that seeks as many followers in social media, where people show the happy highlights of their lives, but never the real reasons why they need attention, nor the traumas or the absence of love that isolates them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This phenomena can be summed up as lack of love. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lack of love from others, followed by the ability to love ourselves, nor the ability to express free will or a creative personal expression. In the process of suppressing free will, there's also a heavy suppression of the creativity of individuals who have been educated and trained not to be so. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The genius within each individual is always there, although for the great majority, connecting with it seems to be an impossibility. The truth is that everyone is born with the ability and talents to reach a wonderful stage of self-expression as the world has not seen, but as we're too occupied regurgitating in our minds the messages of the noise of the world, which only speak of not being enough, or a mediocre future that has been mapped out for us all the way from birth, people do reside in the energetic field of impossibility. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In my work with clients, whether in groups or individually, as well as numerous encounters with people in different capacity, I've witness substantial changes in people by pointing out the many gifts and qualities people have, as well as reinforcing each one, so as to 'rebuild' their character and personality. It's a tragedy that in adulthood people have to reach out to therapists and other wellbeing professionals in order to reconnect with the best version of themselves, learning tools and processes than most people already had from birth, but which are not used due to the multiple and constant messages of impossibility or the endless reminders that everything is difficult to achieve. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being yourself might be difficult within the current society, but it's simply a different kind of difficult, nothing else; one that embraces authenticity and which would inevitably makes life better, as well as improving levels of health and wellbeing, not only in the individual, but in those around. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The difficulty in being yourself lies in the limitations imposed by others and that people have heard since an early age until it somehow became part of a false truth we embody. While everyone's personal truth certainly is something else, people don't miss a chance to remind us of such limitations and false truth. There's a successful version of yourself waiting to be embodied, one which leads to a life of joy, love and success. It's necessary to revert this situation by living a more authentic life, one that responds to the dreams and desires that lie at our core. If more people don't follow this path, it's only because we've become too accustomed to this old version of ourselves, reinforced by family members, friends and society, which immediately disapproved when someone shows any signs of change, improvement or a new type of behaviour that challenges what's already established. It might not be or feel easy, but it's certainly possible. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">I have two openings to take on two more clients in order to assist and resolve processes in personal transformation. There's a more detailed account of the process in services or you can contact me directly: manelblanco14@gmail.com</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Spiritual-Readings-549554925162329/" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start; text-decoration-line: none;">this other page.</a><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-20618527570669802992018-12-10T11:21:00.001-08:002018-12-10T11:21:13.805-08:00Why Some Men Turn Their Lovers Into Mothers.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometimes <b>relationships</b> are denaturalised, losing their essence and purpose, when the woman consciously or unconsciously becomes their partner's mother. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While <b>mothering</b> and <b>nurturing</b> may be natural in a woman, it's often the case that such turn occurs in a response to the needs of men. It's not a woman's desire to become their partner's mother. The relationship becomes unequal, the <b>male partne</b>r begins to be <b>triggered</b> by the same or similar situations he previously experienced. There's a risk that along the way the man turns into the worst version of his father, as he may relive childhood's home dynamics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's essential to mention that this is a common occurrence in relationships, and that the intention of this blog post is first, to make it <b>conscious</b>, and second; to find solutions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also necessary to emphasise how important it is to remove the tendency to find blame or fault in either partner. Blaming others in any situation ruins the possibility to perceive the lesson involved in the experience. A </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">relationship is a two way </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">partnership</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, for which there's also a natural, unconscious inclination in the woman to fulfill this role.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The problem roots at the birth of patriarchy. We're simply following the inertia of a mandate created at a time where the needs of humanity might have been different for survival. Women were </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">disempowered, while men began to separate from the divine masculine, or the good qualities of masculinity. Qualities that could be regained anytime a man wished to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That men might be unconsciously entrapped within an obsolete set of rules, beliefs and patterns of behaviour without an enlightened direction in regards to what to do, doesn't serve as an excuse for have low we've fallen. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patriarchy doesn't have a mother, but numerous bad and absent fathers. This is a father who's severe, tyrannical, controlling, bad tempered and devastating in his actions. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No woman would have imagined to create such a tyrannical system or at least not at the time when patriarchy was believed to be necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a consequence, women were removed from any decision making. The absence of a nurturing mother who's free to educate her child -humanity- with the more feminine elements, such as love, kindness, patience or creativity created a race of individuals feeling incomplete and unworthy, and a number of paradoxes. S</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">elf-confidence, -which has been substituted by assertiveness- is one of the qualities of the divine masculine, a trait that men rarely embody, as we've not been given, neither the tools, nor the teachings to know it or recognise it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the time, women stepped aside, -it must be said that forcibly- to become the servants of angry men who became somehow dehumanised by separating themselves from all things emotional. One of the reasons for such anger is man's inability to access feelings or emotions fully. Being deprived of feelings and emotions, men can no longer recognise their true essence, nor identify a true purpose in life. We might know that there's more to life than what we experience or that we're capable of doing better, but lack the tools that would allow it. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not that men are not emotional. We are. It's the inability to recognise and fully feel those emotions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During childhood, men are told to be confident and in control, but never taught how. This is, of course due to the fact that the men and society reinforcing this belief don't know how to be it either. Asking children to grow to be something we're not, might be humanity's try for help. One way to create the illusion of control is the emotional death sentence that 'boys don't cry'. Crying is a human being's natural way to release unwanted and unnecessary emotional energy, which means that by not doing so, energies are restored within the body, creating layers and layers of energetic films, creating a negative attachment to damaging memories. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The false belief that boys don't cry has become a living entity of its own, and it's unavoidable in a boy's experience. Whether it comes from family, friends or the environment, he will feel pressurised to train himself to neither feel, nor to express emotions. From sadness to joy, all emotions will be then repressed, creating a separation from the feminine and mother. This is bound to create an array of misunderstandings with grave consequences. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fall of men is the separation from heart and spirit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With women excluded from all important decisions, they somehow complied, either willingly, in order to stop their children from being harmed, or by coercion. During this long period of silence, women held on to the most sacred, nurturing within and among themselves the keys to the divine, which would allow a more humane society that serves the needs of everyone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not a secret that women mature earlier. Women have somehow become providers of all things intangible and what's lacking in today's society. It's an invisible glue, that men in our ignorance insist in dissolving not really knowing why or for what purpose. In the case of men, the lack of emotional maturity leads a man to seek in their partners, not only a lover, but an understanding and nurturing mother, while in reality, what we want is a friend</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patriarchy's fierce division of gender has also assigned universal qualities to either male or female; qualities that to which we must now return and learn in order to become better people. Such learning is in principle fairly easy, becoming easier, as we recognise and then identify with kindness, love or empathy, seeing the benefits that brings into the experience of everyone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The child within appears during the first stage of the relationship. It can be appreciated in the lively energy, spontaneity or creativity. While this is a wonderful period in the relationship, there´s also a risk that the childish attitude remains throughout, and what was funny or charming once, might become repetitive or annoying, as the in-love phase ends. It's also possible that the neurotic part of the inner child comes to life once the relationship is not all play and love, and as the dynamics don't follow the desired state of love, it provokes negative reactions. The neurotic child reacts when everything doesn't go their way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The lack of emotional maturity in men plays an important part in the process, being unable to deal with the mundane of daily life, as society's demands require to be met. This phase would be the equivalent to the fall from grace or coming out of the womb, when in a way the child is being left to provide for their own emotional needs, as the mother is no longer all embracing. Although subtle, it could cause feelings of abandonment and rejection, or both, which might be triggered the moment the honeymoon period is over and the lover is not always there. The emotional turmoil can be paralysing, and as this man might not be equipped to process his emotions, another set of emotional reactions come into play. In order to seek the lover's attention, they become needy, constantly demanding love and attention. At this point, the man becomes codependent, seeking the comfort that satisfies the child within, even if what's requested from their partner might be sexual pleasure. The fact that a man may request something that in appearance appeases the adult, makes it more difficult to recognise the child running the show with his needs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's important to recognise the feeling, so as to be able to process it and overcome it. There will be lack of self-confidence and the realisation that they're not in control, as feelings and emotions become overwhelming. An essential step forward would be a conversation that allows to explore intimacy by expressing vulnerability. Vulnerability within the couple builds intimacy, allowing to further get to know each other, as well as the self, and setting a new array of emotions leading to a sense of knowing. The problem might be the individual doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable, as the general belief is that of weakness and losing control. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the root of these traumas are not easy to see, as it happens at an age in which we do not hold on to memories as we identify them in later years. The answers tend to be easier in practice, provide the individual is willing to challenge and change their set of beliefs. The difficulty lies in the emotion storm that might follow, and in processing such emotions without resorting to the usual coping mechanism, which does not help the individual either. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Seduced by the false belief that boys don't cry, nor show emotions, children run away from the love of their mothers at an age in which they're still needing emotional and nurturing support. It's the child that closes the door to love, nor the mother, therefore it's not surprising that as an adult, the man unconsciously seeks that love he can identify himself with. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Women got and keep getting the worst part of the deal, -to put it mildly-, but it's </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">not only them who suffered the dreadful consequences with the birth of patriarchy; men do suffer too, we just like to think that we're not affected by it; that we're in control while we're not. It had to come to the point in which feminism has entered what it's called the fourth wave, for men, manhood and what represents, to hit a wall of insecurity in which seems that being a man is close to be synonym of evil, for these beliefs to be challenged, so as to reconsider what being a man really is. It's clear that role of man needs to be redefined, but also acted upon new, healthier ways.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patriarchy has created a system that moves and functions on invisible forces, hard to recognise with the purpose to create uniformity and obedient workers that perpetuates a weak society that serves the needs of the powerful, whom are at the top of hierarchy. If at some point in your life you felt that you're not important or special enough, within the patriarchal society, you're not. There's no interest in you being or feeling special, which is paradoxical, because important and special is what we all are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As the best qualities of masculinity and the feminine are repressed, it's impossible for a man to learn to be, not just a man, but a good person without making all sort of mistakes, often induced by a set of wrong beliefs that places women, children and the rest of the species in a place of servitude, but it should never be an excuse for the atrocities that men keep committing against women, children, the planet and other living creatures. We might not know much or enough, but we do know better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A relationship is the perfect platform to grow as a person knowing each other, as well as ourselves intimately. If at any point we feel inclined to turn our partners into mothers or fathers, is due to an emotional lack experienced during childhood. While it might be an issue now, there are healthy and fast solutions as individuals explore intimacy, learning from the loving and nurturing qualities that can be found in such spaces. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Cutting the cord from a mother requires an process of understanding one's personal development. There are exercises that are recommended to cut the cord with others, but such exercises are futile if there's not an in depth study of our character and personality, having acquired and developed a series of mechanical habits to simply survive in the world. Any exercise requires a emotional shift that creates a new feeling and vision. If it is too mental an exercise, it won't create the change expected. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I have two openings to take on two more clients in order to assist and resolve processes in personal transformation. There's a more detailed account of the process in services or you can contact me directly: manelblanco14@gmail.com</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">A related article:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-new-man-embodying-divine-masculine.html">The new man: Embracing the divine masculine.</a></span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-26408961761167183182018-11-28T12:06:00.000-08:002018-11-28T12:06:11.822-08:00The New Man: Embodying the Divine Masculine.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Humanity is now facing the hard truths of what meant to be living under </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the dictatorial rule of <b>patriarchal society</b>. It's not clear when <b>patriarchy</b> started, but what's obvious is that everyone is suffering the consequences. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Old patterns no longer serve anyone.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> As a result, men lost touch with whom and what we really are, being perhaps the most traumatic, the <b>loss of intimacy</b> from childhood to adulthood. Traumatic because the lack of touch with out most intimate parts affect negatively the <b>relationships</b> with have with the self, other men, women, children and the rest of world. The <b>resources</b> to change this reality and move into the new man that the world is in so much need of are available. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If the significance of loss of intimacy is not clear, it means that as we don't know who we are, we cannot be understood by anyone. It keeps feeding a deep personal trauma that we ourselves do not reach to comprehend, as men continue defending at all cost an identity based on false beliefs. It's the discord between what we feel, what we express and what we do that aggravates the trauma, until individuals no longer feel or know who they are, sometimes with grave or fatal consequences.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps the most relevant mirror in which men had to look into, having the most effect in the changes that are about to take place is the #metoo campaign, which has awoken the world to the truth of a reality that everyone knew about, but no one talked about. Masculinity has been shaken to its foundations, and while there were already a large number of men creating and promoting change, the wave of anger and discontent has taken us all unprepared. One of the best ways to support this change, now unavoidable, is to immerse in <b>male intimacy</b>, a field that has been plagued by obsolete beliefs and patterns of behaviour that cannot longer be the basis of a healthy proposal, not only in relationships with women and the world, but in the relationship that men have with ourselves. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Intimacy as an agent of change.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The importance of understanding men in intimacy in all our relationships: the one we have with the self, women, children and the world, will allow men to propose the foundation of a new society. No longer men have to do it alone, as the equal vote and contribution of women has become essential to create a world that serves the needs of everyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In order to be able to know what these changes are, we have to get to know ourselves intimately, to know what inspire us, what we truly want, what triggers us, so as to understand why we've led the life we have, and most importantly, to rediscover every positive quality and attribute of masculinity we have not been able, neither to nurture, nor to express under the false and interested mandate of patriarchy. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Patriarchy doesn't have a mother.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's understand patriarchy as an absent father figure pushing throughout the centuries using only the toxic elements of masculinity that so much devastation has caused to men, women, children and society as a whole. Let's also see it as an invisible force functioning on unwritten rules that have been followed, as humanity remained dormant before the constant threat of fear and the distraction that represents to make ends meet in an unethical world where there never seems to be enough for everyone. With the threat of scarcity constantly hovering over our heads, it's almost impossible to allocate time to engage in those important matters that would have made men wonderful human beings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the consequences that men had to face in patriarchal society has been that it didn't allow us to get to know ourselves intimately, as it denied the much necessary energetic balance in every human being. For centuries, men have been encouraged to be providers, with the image of the hunter/gatherer being promoted until no longer holds true meaning, nor makes any sense. We live in a society, which has enough technological advances to provide for the wellbeing of everyone, only denied by the illusion of the rat race by which everyone is absorbed. We grew up in a society of disempowered mothers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The illusion led men to having to do everything within their power to find jobs that pay enough. Enough having lost its meaning also. There always seem to be need for more. During this period, society has lost values and/or any resemblance of morals. It gets worse! Most of these </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">professional positions</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> come with status attached to them, as well as a false sense of identity in order to be enough. No matter what the game is, the precarious state of the professional environment devours self-confidence and our sense of being.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Before learning the new ways, we have to be aware of the old, negative patterns and how have affected us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Society's demands on perfection, productivity and most recently image puts an unnecessary pressure on everybody, successfully targeting our core: the heart and everything that it represents. It's no wonder that men, and more women compete against each other day by day, removing every sign of being humane. Being human or a good person is not encouraged. These days Utopia has been reduced to living from the heart, and who knows, maybe Utopia has always been just that: living from the heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's the dehumanisation of humanity, and sadly; we're all buying into it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The proposal to change this force, which now seems unstoppable, is simple and much easier to achieve than what we've been led to believe. Every man is a leader. If we have not seen it represented before, is because leadership has been defined by beliefs and qualities that only served the system and submitted others at the same time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Change occurs when doing something differently. never 'if' we do it differently. That men are as fed up and exhausted of living under the dictate of a patriarchal society that only feeds the needs of those based at the top of the hierarchical system is a reality. The problem with this, as well as the reason why it has not changed it's because we've believed for too long that the same people who benefit from our hard work, energy and efforts are the ones who will bring healthy and responsible solutions to create a society in which everyone enjoys wellbeing. It's time to take initiative and to follow through. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Embodying the divine masculine:</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Men have good reasons to seek change, so as to find our place in the world. As children, we didn't want to grow up to live under a hard, fictitious shell that in appearance in may prevent us from harm, but that at the same time doesn't allow us to express who we really are. Most boys, and now men, do not want to become the standard man that society promotes, and which is shaped in most cases due to peer pressure, molding our character through repetitive experience and a society that wants us all to be the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The proposal here and now is a personalised course in order to unlearn the old, and replace it with the new. During this personalised process the individual would be able to learn how education, culture, relationships and an old set of beliefs and patterns have contributed to cram their lives with disempowering obstacles, as well as how to develop a course that serves their immediate and long term needs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This course is available for men, women, as well as couples interesting in growing both together and individually. One of the obstacles that women face in relationships is not understanding their male partners, as in why the act as they do, while at the same time seeing their true potential, but not knowing how to encourage change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The study and implementation of the Divine Masculine is intended to explore the good and positive qualities that holds, as a powerful transformational tool. It´s never too late to grow personally, and contrary to popular belief, people do change. The embodiment of the divine masculine is also a process full of surprises, as men do experience not only a positive change towards the self, but discover long time dormant qualities within, and the pertinent effect that has on themselves, their relationships and the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For information on this course, please write to: manelblanco14@gmail.com </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More information on the Divine Masculine</span></div>
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<a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-divine-masculine-embracing.html" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">The Divine Masculine: Embracing Masculinity.</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span></span></div>
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<br />Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-59554164655666178932018-11-22T11:39:00.002-08:002018-11-22T11:39:24.911-08:00Men's International Day: Uncelebrated and Unmanned. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-D4469DsI3BgVhzxLrXOXH7SRHBSmXk1MkjDMbWXDYYtYSsvzMxqjTx_UzsZB6h4zyBnbAUDLdV259ZygYxg_O0qjtB9C4nYsfnQuqf9Wf4Lx12vMY3xm8UyZwEqVXfMHver99bVKuM/s1600/International-Mens-Day-Header+manel+blanco+blogpost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="409" data-original-width="615" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-D4469DsI3BgVhzxLrXOXH7SRHBSmXk1MkjDMbWXDYYtYSsvzMxqjTx_UzsZB6h4zyBnbAUDLdV259ZygYxg_O0qjtB9C4nYsfnQuqf9Wf4Lx12vMY3xm8UyZwEqVXfMHver99bVKuM/s640/International-Mens-Day-Header+manel+blanco+blogpost.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every year, November 19th is the designated day for Men's International Day. The intention is to celebrate the achievements of men who are making the efforts to improve the state of the world and the well being of men. Not a sound was heard around the world this year, perhaps because men do not feel as we have anything to celebrate, or at least not much. It's not that there´s much to shout about after witnessing the crude reality of the #metoo movement, and what's the real state of society; what we´ve become as beings. Somehow we've fallen into an existential limbo in which we no longer know who we are or what direction to take. Not that we knew it before, we just lived under the illusion that we did. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are different ways in which to interpret such lack of interest. Although there's a debate about what it means to be a man in the current times, and a lot of men are doing good work to tackle the issues that so deeply and devastatingly affect society, it's not yet enough. More men need to join. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the past few months, it has become obvious that the role of men, as it was encouraged to be by patriarchal society, needs a radical change. Despite of this fact, there's a large number of men opposing feminism or equality in fear that our fates will be dominated by women. Perhaps this is one reason why there's not unity among us to start a new and necessary dialogue. No matriarchal society has been been rule by a hierarchy. It's not in women's nature. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are important issues to discuss, such as male suicide or depression that it's spoken of in lower tones. These two issues alone are unspeakable among men, as it's not the way patriarchy meant it for us. No solutions can be found if men affected do not join the dialogue. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The truth is, patriarchal society has a strong grasp on everyone, both men and women, even though we experience the consequences of it in different ways. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women simply had enough of years of suppression and submission. The demands they have are the natural ones that any human being would desire for a safe and peaceful living.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the case of men, the consequences we experience are more subtle. Living under the impression that we're in control, that patriarchal society favours men over women or children because of our physical superiority or the false belief that we are the owners of reason is a story we liked to tell ourselves for too long. We might have liked it, but never enjoyed it, as there's no truth in such statement. The lie got to big, now too obvious. In so many ways we feel powerless to introduce or implement changes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And if men feel and are powerless is because since the beginning of patriarchy we're believed in a power that is not true power. We've never seen, nor experienced true power. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The time has come to realise that within the parameters of patriarchal society we're mere servants to a hierarchy that neither has a face, nor a name. Patriarchy is an energy, and this presents the first problem. Most men do not join a conversation that proposes holistic solutions to today's spiritual decline, with the inevitable loss of values that allows a fair society. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What energy means in this case is, that we have been following the same programming for such so long, that the people involved in organisations and institutions of power already function under a strict set of beliefs and patterns of behaviour. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At this point, there are a number of questions that have to be raised. Why do men use our vital energy to fight the inevitable rise of women until everyone becomes equal? Why are we men not doing enough to stop violence against children and women, if everyone has a mother, a sister, a daughter, a female partner, a girlfriend or a wife? Why do we men so willingly join institutions which sole purpose is to kill other? The perpetrators are not always others. Someone has to be committing these crimes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But in regards to men, there's another important matter to discuss: why are we not using our vital energy and resources to create a more equal and better society for us as well. When someone wastes energy and efforts in sabotaging someone else's purpose, they're sabotaging themselves, as one of the paths to happiness is creative, not to destroy. It's easy to destroy. Anyone can do it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The masculine has wonderful qualities, most of which are not used, for the same reason mentioned above: by inertia we follow the patterns created by patriarchy without questioning it, and if/or we do, we fail to find, create or propose solutions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The unseen part of the issues that affect men is that, the men who are taking their lives or falling deeply in depressive states are ruled by emotions that we can hardly explain, as the separation from the heart </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-a legacy from patriarchy-</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, the most important organ that allows human beings to process feelings and emotions in healthy ways have been suppressed in men. This is a fact that can be observe in children everywhere. Continuing with the tradition, boys learn from older boys that boys don't cry, thus learning to cover up their emotions, which in the long term puts them at risk of becoming depressed adults that commit suicide when the see no end to their well hidden emotional problems. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A new education is necessary in order to change the upbringing of male children in a more holistic and loving society, as well as male adults that face such issues. Another of the problems society and individuals face is that people still continue to believe that government and institutions will provide for such answers. They won't, as they follow established rules. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men's lack of interest or unity during Men's International Day should serve as a sign that we do not have a voice; that we might boast about manhood, our achievements and how fearless we say we are -without belief- over a couple of beers, but when it comes to important matters, we've been buying the message of a dysfunctional society in which everyone lives under one form of neurosis or another. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's man's refusal to admit that we're indeed vulnerable that does not allow people to enter more profound states of being, in which we begin to recognise who we really are, by remembering that we all once had a dream that does not match the current race of dog eat dog chasing money in an endless competition that leads nowhere. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are beings powerful beyond measure, but in order to rediscover such true power, first we must begin to recognise our vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable is part of being human.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's every man's responsibility to ponder on all these issues and many others that affect the individual, society and others, so as to find the inner strength, which we do not use, even if we think that we might do. It's time to come to terms with reality and admit that we're bound by imposed limitations, and that this is all we belief. The old saying 'every man by himself' is no longer valid. What's to become of a society that doesn't have unity because we're losing all values that guarantee the universal rights of every human being are respected? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The people who suffer, are as human and have the same rights, as those who make them suffer. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To believe that we live in a civilised society that is clearly chaotic, cruel and cannibalistic is both, naïve and irresponsible; truly two characteristics that do not match the idea of being a man. It's perhaps time that men lose their fear to ask for help and find other men and resources that point in the right direction towards a more conscious and equal society. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Patriarchy is falling to pieces, it's now everyone's turn to choose who's falling with it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following blog post provides information where someone may begin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-divine-masculine-embracing.html">The Divine Masculine: Embracing Masculinity.</a></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span></span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-61425354851921728202018-11-16T14:58:00.002-08:002018-11-16T14:59:54.633-08:00Seeking and Finding Your Twin Flame.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkvBTZyPSiM1Vxr4XYuGE2loug9ab4lkpjqb66gyI7J430KUoLWLKQS6vMTDx1xoRXactzr_CgpDdvpyHmr9gV3JQGzrSH_J7VcjkcNNy4Xmn80-pGj6EU_Z14vsMZCkJCdaAnsaepbts/s1600/twin+flames+manel+blanco+blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkvBTZyPSiM1Vxr4XYuGE2loug9ab4lkpjqb66gyI7J430KUoLWLKQS6vMTDx1xoRXactzr_CgpDdvpyHmr9gV3JQGzrSH_J7VcjkcNNy4Xmn80-pGj6EU_Z14vsMZCkJCdaAnsaepbts/s640/twin+flames+manel+blanco+blog3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The search for the <b>twin flame</b> seems to be one of the main objectives for a large number of people. In order to understand this popular figure, who seemingly has acquired the status of indispensable in order to enjoy a loving and fulfilling life and <b>relationship</b>, there are several blog posts, which explain the process, as well as a book that shares all the necessary information to reach what many people believe to be a stage of completeness. <b>Completeness</b> with or through another person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The decision to write about twin flames came after realising the general misunderstanding of the subject; a fact that became obvious through multiple correspondence with readers, even before giving it written attention. It was never meant to be a major theme in this blog, nor had I the intention to write a book, which came to life due to reader's demands. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The original intention, and one which remains, was to share concepts, tools, processes and experiences that could contribute to the healing and personal development of individuals and the collective. With this is mind, a large number of blogs posts were written on the importance of themes like truth, kindness, trauma, sacred sex or vulnerability to name a few. Since then, more than hundred and fifty titles have been shared with the public.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What's become obvious during this period is that a large number of readers focus their attention on twin flames' posts, while other articles that are perhaps more important remain ignored. At this point, it could be argued that people are free to choose the subject they're interested in, while disregarding the rest. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finding the right partner is wonderful. No one should settle for less than what they want. However, the popular obsession with meeting the twin flame causes to neglect looking deeper into one's own healing process. The trend shows the belief that love and happiness is only possible with another person. Not only this, in this case it has to be specifically the twin flame.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">First, there's no guarantee that anyone will meet their twin flame in this lifetime. In many cases, the only guarantee that people have is that a 'psychic' said that they will. This is a poorly option for a guarantee, especially after paying for the information. Often, the twin flame is identified in a person who's already in another relationship, someone they might have an affair with or feeling a deep connection, creating further frustration and a more frustrating sense of worthlessness. Furthermore, it reinforces the belief of worthlessness, lack or being not enough, as the figure of the twin flame becomes unattainable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's not forget that the power of auto-suggestion is so high that we can convince ourselves of anything. It's a fact that we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. Without going into the self-critic mode, everyone has experiences of focusing their attention on something or someone, to later on realise that we might have been wrong in placing all our efforts on such targets. Any obsession can make us blind to the rest life can offer. When or if the obsession lingers through a long period in time, the result is the ignorance of not seeing or the unwillingness to see. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the same time, other important aspects in the healing process are abandoned. A large number of current relationships are simply mismatches born out of loneliness. There are steps in the inner journey that individuals have to go through alone. Call it loneliness, call it solitude; this is a period in which someone learns not only to provide for themselves while single not only the material, but the emotional and spiritual, creating also an intimate bond with the self in which they merge with abstracts such as trust, truth, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The purpose of the inner journey is to get to know the real self through reinforcing confidence, opening to trust, showing strength through vulnerability or to remain loving despite of lack or adversity, creating a new feeling based on knowing; to remember those qualities and gifts we once buried deep in order to protect the most beautiful parts of the self from a cannibalistic society.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Try and meet the twin flame or any other lover or relationship without trust, without truth, not knowing how powerful vulnerability can be in the inner journey. As per vulnerability, paradoxical as it is, there's a great misunderstanding of how powerful it can be. Popular belief says that it makes people weak, when in reality it does the opposite. The purpose is to be vulnerable and still remain loving, while experiencing perhaps a cocktail of buried emotions, such as jealousy, pride, envy or wrath, none of which belong to the real self. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being vulnerable allows to form healthy boundaries. Being hard only serves to create inflexible walls that thicken the bars around personal prisons and neurosis. It's the result of having lived for centuries in patriarchal society under the false belief that only the strongest survive. It's the most adaptable, not the strongest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The idea of meeting the twin flame, the connection, the magic that comes with it, the fireworks that go along with might bring a satisfying view of a future with a new lover, but it's precisely the image of the horizon dreamed in a ecstasy of togetherness and the happily ever after what causes the blindness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's much of the Disney fairy tale in the search of the twin flame. Would readers be interested in a blog post on the reality of fairy tales without the Disney imagery and how it relates to present reality or how it would help in the journey of the hero? Probably not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This blindness is the unwillingness to explore other territories, which are essential in the inner journey in order to reach the promised land. The objective is to arrive at a better understanding of the self in relationships. It's essential to recognise one's own trauma, and not only understand how it has affected us, but how it contributed to the creation of character and personality, so as to see how we function on the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Making the unconscious conscious allows to recognise what beliefs and ideas have led us to create inflexible patterns of behaviour and the relationships we have with ourselves and the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's necessary to learn how patriarchal society has affected each individual, both men and women, in order to begin to remove wrong beliefs with the purpose to find inner peace. So far, the world has touched the surface, but it's distracted by entertainment. While I agree and encourage the in the inner journey one has fun, not all fun is entertainment. It can be appreciated in the new age movement and the language that it has developed in which everything is love and light or positive thinking, which without clear methods only delivers 'enlightened' messages, but neglects to identify or treat or heal trauma. While dancing, singing and positive thinking may attract other loving and positive energies to entertain the occasion, it fails to reach the hidden gifts within the human being, as it remains based on the belief system of the Christian tradition. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A clear example that illustrates this point and for which no ignorance is ignorant enough to allow any individual to face a twin flame or any other type of lover, is that at the first sign of love, the inner child appears again. Knowing which processes and/or understanding how life experiences affects us is indispensable to build a strong and healthy relationship. Once love appears, the child wakes up, and with it, vulnerability inevitably follows. During the honeymoon period one doesn't have to be concerned about these issues, but one of the reasons the honeymoon might turn to hell, lack of interest or apathy is due to people's tendency to return to the same patterns and habits of fear and indoctrination. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's essential to know what triggers you in order to avoid the same destructive patterns in relationships.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One could consider that their habits and patterns of behaviour are not that bad after all, that we're intrinsically good people. No one wants to think otherwise. But if this is the case, why is it that the loving actions of people can cause so much hurt in others? From parents, to siblings to friends to lovers, everyone has experienced someone's cannibalistic, with the consequent wound or trauma. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I've written extensively on relationships and will continue doing so, the purpose of this blog has always been the processes of the inner journey. It just happens that relationships are perfect platforms to explore the inner journey. The journey of the hero, as it's classically called, might be filled with darkness and painful times, but it's also one of self-discovery in which the possibility to meet the twin flame exists. However hard or difficult it might be, self-discovery making issues conscious makes life easier. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ignoring the unconscious doesn't mean that the trauma is not there, nor makes the problem go away. Not to mention what happens at the time of meeting a new lover who's already deep in the inner journey, what can result into an authentic savage experience that would likely end in separation, to leave us alone once again with a trauma that it's now visible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This blog post is not to discourage, nor to point out what anyone should do, but to encourage others to take the plunge into the inner journey and follow the necessary steps as they see appropriate. After all, everyone's inner journey is unique. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The truth is that conformism and apathy plague humanity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In addition, the downfall in the search for the twin flame is that he or she could well be a friend of the same sex, a family member or someone who nevers appears, as people might be seeking from the comfort of their living room in their day dreams. This amounts to a life wasted in hope of a dream that has more to do with popular culture than reality. Another negative aspect of this may be that people may live an unfulfilled and unexplored life waiting for someone to arrive to safe the day. One the twin flame appears, each issue that has been ignore surfaces revealing the best and the worst in someone's personality. The problem with this is that there's no place to escape to other than ending the relationship. Say goodbye to the comfort zone in their presence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is in the study and self-discovery of intimacy or how patriarchal society imposed a set of neurotic beliefs in both the individual and the collective, that help people to evolve. The more evolved people are, the more attractive they become to others, growing in confidence, knowledge and wisdom, while removing beliefs and patterns of behaviour that they might see as obstacle towards self-realisation. As we evolve, grow in knowledge and wisdom, we become more acceptance of what is, gain in presence enjoy more the present moment and perhaps realise that twin flame or not, a wonderful love story with them is also possible. I cannot think of a worse or better excuse to never love or allow ourselves to love than waiting for the twin flame to appear. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJIpanfFTD2BpWOyRM3ACOwpI_ReWwwtQz_ysapj8GFctzjaWVCmd2d-o5k8c7IMaSEFxi21oaujc8vOHXN_Dif9NprzJ2V1JtTFB6g_LCxB8jl39mctYj21hb8P_HJHZrXb0CRcDqYKU/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJIpanfFTD2BpWOyRM3ACOwpI_ReWwwtQz_ysapj8GFctzjaWVCmd2d-o5k8c7IMaSEFxi21oaujc8vOHXN_Dif9NprzJ2V1JtTFB6g_LCxB8jl39mctYj21hb8P_HJHZrXb0CRcDqYKU/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Spiritual-Readings-549554925162329/" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start; text-decoration-line: none;">this other page.</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">More on twin flames: </span><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/twin-flames-love-affair.html" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start; text-decoration-line: none;">'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'</a><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-71548327731479496752018-11-14T12:41:00.002-08:002018-11-14T12:44:01.342-08:00Sacred Sex: The Growth In Sexual Energy.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuk3jK3FzYusywJrUUrt0N_C3fbKuKVDKAqdblykfNtrMinPj92HVI40_o1CW1Z_uWKUXkvYKfJXfRebqnXw8wa6KYDfDTaKAi6Bi9R88fFhysovdQvEHAkhRxDFUJl-Gc9RvxemwSmc/s1600/sacred+sex+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="302" data-original-width="236" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuk3jK3FzYusywJrUUrt0N_C3fbKuKVDKAqdblykfNtrMinPj92HVI40_o1CW1Z_uWKUXkvYKfJXfRebqnXw8wa6KYDfDTaKAi6Bi9R88fFhysovdQvEHAkhRxDFUJl-Gc9RvxemwSmc/s640/sacred+sex+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are numerous references to sexual energy and the power that it contains for personal growth, although they rarely are followed by stories that illustrate the transformative power within such energy. This is one of those stories. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In every story there's a moment in which anyone can break from the past, so as to begin to write one more in accordance with the limitless possibilities of the human being.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The life we lead is determined by the choices we make. What matters is what we do, and how we conduct ourselves once we dare to make the choice that serves as a diversion from the usual responses and reactions. From then own, it´s the unknown; a space in which we can begin to get to know who we really are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Years ago I met a woman who later on insisted in visiting me. Let´s call her Sarah. After several conversations I agreed to meet her again, despite the fact she had not let go of a toxic relationship or at least the idea of it, for which she had too many questions that have no answers. In any relationship, knowing how to be present dissolves any toxic element that people might carry in their luggage, as if it never existed, therefore, I didn't see a problem there, nor I see it now. When the present takes over, past and future dissolve. It's as logical wanting to find answers, as to realise that at times we don't need them, that we do not need to understand everything. Why people do what they do, why they leave relationships without apparent reason hardly helps in the process of healing and self-knowledge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We fell in love as soon as we saw each other again at the train station early in the evening. We both knew this was coming. After leaving her luggage, -both material and emotional-, we headed to a wonderful restaurant with a male client I was working with at the time. This client had difficulties engaging with women, so I felt that it would be ideal for him to have a conversation with a woman in such an intimate environment. And it did!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back home, intimacy created the loving atmosphere that the presence of another person didn't allow at the restaurant, even though the subtlety of it was obvious. The choice of a public place and the presence of a third person, as well as other people in the restaurant only encouraged between us the playfulness and complicity required for intimacy to grow; to learn to wait while enjoying the present moment. Then came the first dance, the first touch, the first kiss. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There was neither need, nor rush for more than this, but when I got back to my room she was already naked. I had provided a different bedroom for her. Choices! As I like to sleep on the floor, my bedroom was the only one without a bed. Definitely not an environment that invited to further explore physicality, nor sex. What happened next was a long, long preambule that later on and very naturally would turn to sex. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Foreplay extended for a long period. When she suggested that it was time, that she wanted me, I climbed on top of her. Penetration was the next obvious movement. Even though she was willing, her body rejected the idea, at which point she told me, -apologising for it- that she wasn't dilated enough. I looked her in the eyes, lingering for a minute or so on top of her and said: "I'm going to fuck you anyway." Yes, I said that, while smiling mischievously. Sarah didn't react to my words. Both her eyes and body language surrendered, accepting that I could do anything I wanted. After all, I was a man on top on a naked woman who had put a lot of emphasis and energy into getting to this moment and took her clothes off without even asking, so why not go for it? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I laid down next to her, stopping her attempt to apologise. No one should feel obliged to apologise when they're not ready to engage in a sexual act. When one of the partners is not ready, neither is the other one. Trying to build a relationship from a sexual act when it's not the right time destroys any further efforts to create a healthy intimate space between two people, especially if this is, as it would had been in this case, a 'forced' act. It's the lack of patience, empathy, synergy between two people, but above all; respect for the other person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sex is the last step in a relationship. Allowing it to grow organically until both people are truly ready is essential and makes it special, but this requires all elements that are introduced in the relationship when both overcome the urgency of immediacy. What it might seem a lost opportunity now, could turn up to be the seed for something greater at a later stage. It's necessary to understand that what it might appear to be a loss, it's in many cases a gain for those who dare to enter the unknown. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The unknown is always present. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps to mention also, that Sarah is a very attractive woman, what to the male psyche might suggest that resisting the temptation is more of an effort. Not quite! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sarah is above all, a person, and that even though she might have not expressed herself adequately, she did say that she wasn't ready. We hear what we want to hear. We see what we want to see. Then we usually do what we please. I heard NO!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In retrospective, had I gone for it, it would have been rape, although I doubt she would have taken it as such. As mentioned earlier, the first stage I like to engage with in a relationship is intimacy for obvious reasons. It takes time to get to know a person, to establish a friendships through playfulness, trust, respect or understanding of someone's needs.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> In most relationships, sex has already killed the opportunity of intimacy. Humanity has lost the ability to play, as if adults had never been children, and while in all adult seriousness we fuck one's own loneliness away in any sexual act that takes our fancy, we believe that we're the greatest lovers, while wondering why relations go inevitably down the hill at the first set back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's perhaps appropriate to mention that during dinner, Sarah had expressed her desire to explore freedom during our time together. It's a norm in relationships to refuse to act as a practitioner, as I'd do with a client, as this puts me in the place of a therapist, -it might even invite the perception of superiority- creating an unequal position, and perhaps thwarting any possibility to bond. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not the same to do shadow work with a partner, being this a mutual effort, than to become their teacher.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Gestalt techniques have a powerful effect in people's transformation. Agreeing to help someone in a relationship under these parameters is almost like buying them a one way ticket to elsewhere. The sound of freedom sounded good to me, so I didn't hesitate to comply with her wishes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By asking to experience and know freedom, I couldn't ask anything from her, nor could I take anything she didn't want to give. Freedom is an essential element in any relationship, as it's when people feel free that they give the best of themselves when they feel like it. Nothing is rushed. No one is manipulated. If people do not show at their best in any type of relationships, it's due to the lack of it. In The difference between this relationship and any other is that in this one it was asked from the beginning. Sad to have to state the obvious.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the same time, someone who already feels free would be able to show their best at all times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following days we had breakfast in local cafés, long walks and played all day long while getting to know each other. Laughter was present throughout. During this time our conversations dealt with traumas and the long lasting effects that they may have on people, relationships, issues that may appear and the creation of character and personality but above all; love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't do anything without a deliberate intention in order to see beyond what might seem obvious. Knowing that Sarah had come out of a relationship where she had been merely the receptacle of someone's lust, I wanted to know her position on this and her understanding of intimate and sexual conduct within relationships, reason for which I said what I said. It was clearly then, that sex was not a space in which she felt neither free, nor comfortable, despite her predisposition to give it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During one of our walks I asked her, what would have happened if I had carried out my threat. Her answer was that she would have lost all respect for me, as would have I. "Why did you get so aroused then?" I asked. She then realised that she indeed got excited about the possibility of being submitted when this was clearly not what she wanted. She asked if I knew the answer, but the arousal before the possibility of sexual submission is evidently an issue that had to be explored, although the reason was clear, and it relates to sexual healing, which is a subject that deserves a separate blog post. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By the third day our understanding of each other and the synergy that we had created was so high that reality began to take a different turn. While we walked holding hands through a busy commercial road she noticed that no one could see us, that we were somehow invisible to others. No one looked at us, not even when I tried to call people's attention in order to illustrate this fact. This can be explained from the perspective that all the energy created helped to raise consciousness naturally, as if we were in a way in a different dimension. By the time we reached home I asked her if she had noticed anyone not only looking at us, but engaging with us, an important aspect that she missed. The people who did indeed noticed and communicated with us from the first day had been society's rejects, the homeless, the mad ones. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Previously that day we entered a castle that was closed to the public. So high were we on love and consciousness that we didn't see any restrictive signs, nor any of the numerous signs around the city that forbid life itself. Sarah also pointed out that the day seemed like five or six days together within one day. Time stretches when living in the moment, never giving the sensation that a day it's too long, as there's a feeling of elation that goes along with it. There was no need to eat, nor were we tired. During this week many of our playfulness involved sexual energy, which was highly arousing, tangible and easy to transmit from one to the other. Playing with the idea of sex and the palpable desire we continued getting to know each other, letting intimacy take its natural course. No rush for anything, just living and thriving in the moment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of the conversations related to love, art, writing, music, the possibilities to create something either together or separately, as well as other practical matters. The words we choose, and especially the conversations we have, determine how we feel; the state of being. Talk love, be love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not a secret that a large number of men, -not all- having been presented with the same opportunity to have sex even when the conditions were not suitable, would have gone for it without hesitation. There's still a great need for men to possess, control and feel power over women. It's the domination of the patriarch deeply embedded in the male psyche and for which there's no excuse. The patriarch is a system and an energy. How we respond to it is what defines us as men. Perhaps to repeat once again, that the action of one man reflects on every other man; that the consequences of certain actions are difficult, and sometimes impossible to heal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The day to see and feel freedom arrived. Sarah is a singer and a songwriter. Before our meeting she sent me a few of her recordings, to which I listened to with pleasure and attention. While I knew what song she should sing in order for her to reach the realisation of freedom, I couldn't point it out. It had to come from her, and it did without any suggestion from me. One of the benefits of Gestalt is that creates experiences in which people can see and feel what they're looking for. This is due to the energy being expansive, but also focused on the intention of people's requests, so as to work on the desired issues. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As Sarah sang her song, she realised that she had already written in her own words the experience of freedom, and this was the theme of her music. It's neither rare, nor surprising that someone realises something they already have and know while using Gestalt techniques. This is not reduced to Sara. The whole of humanity seems unable to see themselves for who we are, and individuals keep seeking what they already have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So far there's been a lot of playfulness, conversations, walks and good times together. Sexual playfulness took a good part of this time, but it appeared when it did, naturally and without being pushed into any situation. For obvious reasons I'd omit more personal details. While this stage of enhanced consciousness is possible to reach by everyone without exception, it's necessary to point out that, first; I am a conduit for energy, what makes it easier to reach such states. Higher states of consciousness can be reached with the mind alone. Notice that during these days, we were not chasing money, material things, that we were not engaged in criticising the world or others, that we allowed love to be the sole theme even when dealing with practical matters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's possible to discuss the effects that society and its apparatus have on individuals without vindictive impulses. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also necessary to point out, that this is one experience between two people, one shared truth; that this is not the only way to reach what people want. Comparison or competition with everything that entails, such as envy, lust, anger and/or any other of the lower states of consciousness can never be steps towards happiness, nor love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following post: <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2018/11/sacred-sex-sexual-act.html">Sacred Sex: The sexual Act</a>, gives the account of what happened next. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More on sacred sex:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2015/08/sacred-sex-honouring-heart-body-soul.html">Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul and the Miracle of Love.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2016/02/sacred-sex-is-sex-you-have-as-safe-as.html">Sacred sex: Is the sex you have as safe as you think it is?</a></span></div>
Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-15176234842023801882018-11-14T12:40:00.003-08:002018-11-14T12:44:16.794-08:00Sacred Sex: The Sexual Act.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sacred sex is called as such because it's based on the principle that both partners are sacred, as well as every detail, every moment. It's not reduced to the sexual act, but it expands and reaches any other aspect involving both lovers. Treating ourselves as sacred beings, as well as others is essential in the relationship. It's the encounter of a Goddess and a God, the recognition of who we really are, and the realisation that what we offer to others, we offer to ourselves. In sacred sex, two lovers create an universe of love and abundance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While the previous paragraph recreates the imagery of a relationship that sounds and looks idyllic, reaching this state and/or staying there might not be as simple. One cannot reach such states with the mind alone, but must follow a feeling, an indestructible intention that does not give up at the first short fall. Let's not forget that we're humans, beings with a proclivity to break everything we touch. But let's not forget either, that we're indeed beings with extraordinary gifts that we fail to recognise and admire, first in ourselves, then in others. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't have to be neither serious, nor perfect. It could be clumsy, showered in laughter and playfulness. It's the perfect time to use the imagination. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This blog post might not make sense without reading the previous one: <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2018/11/sacred-sex-growth-in-sexual-energy.html">Sacred Sex: The Growth in Sexual Energy</a>, which offers an account of how two people get to such a heightened state. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The previous article describes a period of a few days of foreplay, of getting to know each other by allowing time, patience, trust, understanding, love and passion to flow. A time in which two people experience themselves and each other always enjoying the moment. As those moments were so rich in playfulness and presence, there was no need for anything else. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sexual energy was playful and intense, but it was never tense. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After five days of play, we reached the bed. Not even then there was any sense of urgency or that this has to be done now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What happened next would have never taken place had we decided to have sex the first night under those circumstances. At one point, and while still in the foreplay stage, I could see myself in her eyes and she could see myself in mine. To make this clear. I saw myself within her, as she saw herself within me. This was a moment that showed us both that what we do to others, we do to ourselves, and what we do to ourselves, we do to others. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's one of those rare episodes in our lives that makes it clear that sex is, and should always be treated as sacred if there had been any doubts before such moment. The tenderness and beauty of the moment didn't remove the excitement, but it increased the desire. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Minutes within the act, she noticed that she could feel everything I felt, as I felt everything she did. Such feelings made us to recreate in the moment, to linger, to make a much more deliberate effort on movements and touch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There were, of course many more details that I would not share with anyone, as the information provided so far suffices to illustrate what can be achieved with sacred sex, out of love for ourselves and the other. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This blog post is not a reference to what other people should or shouldn't do in regards to intimacy or sex, but an account of a reality that may encourage others to explore and play with the possibilities that are presented within a relationship. Sacred sex doesn't have to be reduced to sex within a established or new relationship. It can be applied to any sexual encounter between two willing counterparts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There will be future articles on sacred sex explaining in more details the steps that someone might follow in order to create more intimacy and deeper connections within their relationships. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More on sacred sex:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2015/08/sacred-sex-honouring-heart-body-soul.html">Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul and the Miracle of Love.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com/2016/02/sacred-sex-is-sex-you-have-as-safe-as.html">Sacred sex: Is the sex you have as safe as you think it is?</a></span></div>
Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-68774402441663941032018-09-18T12:39:00.000-07:002018-09-18T12:39:04.741-07:00Fear of Intimacy: The Sexual Pleaser.<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Fear
of </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">intimacy </b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">or the lack of, might be difficult to recognise, especially when
someone’s intimate life is ruled by </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">sexuality</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">; </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">sex</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> being the most
misleading cause, as it creates the illusion of it. Someone can lead an
abundant </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">sexual</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> life, but being unaware of the lack of intimacy or their fear of it. It’s one
of the leading causes for </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">unfaithfulness, </b><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">promiscuity </b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">and ending <b>relationships</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">. The purpose being, not
getting too close to anyone while creating close connections; not reaching the </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">emotional</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> spaces in which
someone believes that they might be exposed to </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">pain</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> and </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">hurt</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fear
of intimacy affects everyone differently, although it’s possible to recognise
several types of people that fall into specific categories. In the case of the
sexual pleaser, it leads individuals to perfect -in their own way- ideal sexual practices for
the pleasure of others, and while sex is also satisfactory to them,
they’re own satisfaction is not the priority. There's a reason behind it. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With
this in mind, the sexual-pleaser pays special attention to every detail,
focusing all their energy in perceiving and reading the responses of their sexual partners according to their level of awareness, in
order to provide the ultimate climax. In their hands, their partners would be
most satisfied, even if other parts of the relationship fail or are
not as satisfactory, which leads to the constant need to create more opportunities to satisfy the urge to prove themselves, more closeness in
order to reaffirm this side of their identity. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The intention to please a partner sexually should be a must for everyone, but in this case, it's driven by emotional patterns that affect the pleaser, creating the opposite of what’s intended.
Long term, this behavioural pattern could lead to a deep sense of longing and
loneliness. In order to accomplish their immediate goals, focusing all their
energy and attention on the other person, they deny themselves the necessary
openness to receive as much pleasure as they give. This person is a giver, and
givers often find it hard to allow themselves to receive. But this is not the main reason that creates this kind of character and personality. I</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t could
also cause to resent others, as meeting a matching partner that
dedicates as much care and time as they do might be impossible. Partners get used to what they're given, as the giver follows a compulsive need to give. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a deep longing and selfish motivation to receive equally, but the pleaser won't articulate this desire, which in turn becomes a trap to others. As you don't give them, as much as you receive, the pleaser will see you as selfish or not caring enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Balance in intimacy provides solutions, but only when giving is a mutual exchange, instead of dangling between polarities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The
first step to receive is asking. Usually givers don’t know how to ask, nor dare to. Asking doesn't even cross their minds, as giving is all they know. Not asking is a behavioural pattern that can be traced back to
childhood and easy to recognise. It’s a living paradox, living in lack
or scarcity, while giving abundantly. The imbalance denotes emotional immaturity, even though emotional intelligence could be high in them. However negative it might sound, it's a trait to be treated with compassion, as in this case, it's lack of awareness and emotional connection. It's also a door to incredible experiences. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>If the relationship doesn't provide for both partners to receive, it's highly possible that intimacy is failing. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The pleaser senses the feelings of others, but it's afraid to deal with their own feelings. Running away is one certain way to avoid one's own feelings and emotions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The emotional need urges the sexual-pleaser to act in order to being liked by others, for which reason one sexual partner
might not be enough. In their minds it’s a gift to others that has to be
shared, and as one partner gets too close to the wound, they run away and please
others. The capacity to give equals the inability to receive. In time the
emotional void is too intense, not finding what they’re really looking for:
love. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Relationships don't last long, and it's not because they don't want to. There's an obvious narcissistic trait in this kind of people. Somehow a sense of emotional superiority in regards to intimacy or sexuality, as one of their most acute abilities is to read someone's energies and by following how people respond to stimuli they know what step to take next. In contrast, there's a lack of confidence and security, but also a sense of not deserving enough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pleasing a partner sexually is in itself a wonderful experience. However, the lack of balance impedes the sexual-pleaser to delve into their own intimate experience in which they can learn to receive. As the focus is on the other person, the sexual-pleaser is missing in human touch and the feeling that comes from the patience and stillness in receiving. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a mixture of insecurity, which creates the need of being liked, as well as lack of trust, resulting in avoiding being touched by their partners for as long as it's wanted and necessary. At the same time there's a deep desire of being touched, and being loved by touch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's unfortunate that we live in a world where we don't allow ourselves to receive what we most desire: love, intimacy, human touch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such comfort zone is a rather uncomfortable emotional space, facing an abyss that requires the courage of a leap of faith allowing themselves the pleasure of being touched, to surrender and explore their own body through the touch of others. While touching and giving, one is in control, receiving requires losing this urge. Trust can only be challenged by allowing, not reacting to it. It does take little to overcome the initial discomfort once we surrender the resistance by allowing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the problems may be that in finding a partner that matches their expectations and desire, choosing instead someone they feel comfortable distrusting and most certainly they do not wish to be with long term. This choice, -more rational and conscious than one would think- is the perfect excuse to stop themselves from opening up to others, so as to avoid being touched deeply. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's the irony in underestimating others. The exploration of intimacy, no matter how casual or superficial one may consider it before it takes place, can surprise most people when they feel touched the moment someone opens their heart and offers their bodies to them. A simple kiss may suffice. Everyone has the ability to touch someone else's heart and soul. All that's needed is to look at someone in the eyes long enough until the resistance to see and being seen is dropped. If people don't love more, don't find more love is because we fear the hurt that might come when allowing loving and being loved. The "one has to kiss many frogs ... " saying is nothing but an excuse to continue choosing partners we don't want to be with, to avoid exploring love and intimacy with someone we really want to be with. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kissing frogs is nothing, but an excuse to avoid love and intimacy</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's opportunity, and there's opportunistic. There's a substantial difference between both, and it's not only important to recognise it, but to act accordingly depending on what someone wants from their intimate experience. It's fine to kiss all frogs along the way, as long as we admit to ourselves that frogs is what we want. Kissing frogs is also indicative of lack of confidence and faith in meeting what we want. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kissing frogs does help to build confidence, but also creates the illusion that this is all there is, which in turn affects negatively the confidence and faith in finding what we want. It reinforces a belief. Everything is a paradox. The problem and the solution all in the same place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Those who boast about their sexual abilities do not fit into this category. The narcissist will always tell you who they are and what they're capable of. Know and see the difference. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the self-mythology of the sexual-pleaser there's a self-portrait which speaks of a special being that goes through life gifting and teaching others the art of love. It's a 'teacher' that stays for short periods disappearing once they feel that the lesson has been taught. It's always the same lesson from condescending 'teachers' to willing students that feel abandoned, if not betrayed. They might have enjoyed the generous touch, the gentle presence of the giver, but by taking it all away, the lesson is one of lack, not of love. Irony after irony both learn new steps in the quest of love, but the sexual-pleaser has to recognise that only by allowing themselves being touched they can reach their own heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While sharing their intimate experience with those we do not want to be, the energy that's created and the message that's being sent to the Universe is that anyone can enter that space if only for a while. At the same time it attracts people in desperate need for human touch. Tragically, it prevents those with whom we can create a deep and healthy connection with from entering our energetic space. The problem is not in other people, but in our perception of them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A life's path is created by the decisions we make here and now. In stillness we find the courage and patience to discern, to choose wisely, recognising that what might be convenient today, might not be what we're looking for, as well as to accept that what we're looking for could be just around the corner, and probably is. More often than not, we don't find that space, being occupied doing things we don't want to do with people we really don't want to be and pleasing them while they keep us company in the waiting for love, not knowing that sometimes love is one decision away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One does not wait for love; we wait in love. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are worse things than not being liked. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The positive part and one to look forward to is that once we allow themselves to receive, our ability to experience pleasure and intimacy can reach heightened states of love and consciousness. Usually it takes place when the pleaser begins to explore different tempos, knowing when to stop and how to delay the giving in order to delve into it together, as it is together, when one looks and treats the other as equals that intimacy begins to flow. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Changing these perceptions is a process that requires time, as well as several new practices and ways of seeing life, the self and others, but it's possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, when kissing frogs, you're not kissing a frog, you're kissing yourself. Think about that! I kissed many frogs to not only realise that they were not, but that I was being an idiot. The idiot within is another character to celebrate, but that's another story for another day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are, of course, healthy ways in which to change such perception and behaviour, but this is a process. If this sound like you, or like your partner, there are questions to ask. It's not that you don't know intimacy or don't want to know it, but that you or them, don't allow it.</span></div>
Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-65180126270972693082018-04-02T06:53:00.001-07:002020-03-10T03:44:35.894-07:00The Runner: The Lover That Doesn't Want To Be Loved.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The <b>runner</b> is on the loose; either aware or unaware of the trail of heartbreak that leaves behind. Unaware of the their own <b>heartbreak</b>, or what reasons they have to keep running as soon as the feeling of safety in a <b>relationship</b> takes hold of them. For the one left behind, understanding this feeling might be difficult, if not impossible. Since I started writing about the runner, I've received hundreds of emails requesting more information on what could be done to stop first, and then, to transform this pattern of behaviour, as it's cause of pain and suffering, not only to those who are abandoned, but also to the runner. This article is written with this intention, as well as the kind of work that's involved. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner is a person ruled by contradictions. In a way we all are. Perhaps the contradiction that tortures them most is the longing for love and to be loved, while being unable to fully surrender to love at the same time, or the inability to keep a relationship. It's human condition to complicate life in order to explore the labyrinth of the collective unconscious and its effects on an individual quest, -me against the world- trying to find answers, to learn what's truth, what's not, to one day realise that everything is so simple, that the answer was already there, and we knew it all along. In between we follow the dictate of the noise of the world, which eventually ends echoing within, ruling the mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unless there's a clear vision of the world, it's normal to do what we're told that works, even if we have to go through a turmoil of emotions and experiences that go against what we believe and truly want, which do more harm than good. Before someone knows the way, it's usual to try what doesn't work. "Before we know who we are, we have to see who we're not."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The moment that triggers the urge to run is overwhelming, an energetic space, both too familiar and too mysterious due to the difficulty to interpret it. This space expands inwards and outwards taking over someone's whole being with an emotion that extends to the infinite. Vertigo inevitably follows. It's not surprising that the runner goes and do what they do best; disappearing wit an explanation that only they believe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Understanding this feeling is more important than whatever reasons or excuses the runner may have to leave. The reasons, as well as the explanations are contradictory and futile. If emotions are hard to put into words, the encounter with the infinite within proves to be more so. In a world that feeds on the weakness of people by the make-belief that we're limited beings, it's not surprising that the response of the runner is either fear or panic. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the past, the runner has either suffered, witnessed, and most likely experienced both, the hard way the effects of failed relationships, in which abuse was prevalent. It's also likely that the runner has experienced abuse and rejection from birth. The kind of abuse could have been verbal, physically violent or even sexual. In other cases it could have been subtle, such as controlling parents or a controlling environment, surrounded by types of forceful behaviour that limit the individual, affecting their relationship with intimacy. T</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">he people who were supposed to love and protect them not only didn't, but used their position of power and authority to take advantage. For the runner, love is not a safe space, or at least it doesn't feel like it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Paradoxically, the runner eagerly seeks love and won't be shy at taking the opportunity to explore love with someone else. It's not so much that they don't want to be loved, they don't know how to allow it, although in time they get so used to not being loved and/or to reject love that it becomes the norm. Meeting someone and creating a relationship is the easy part. They're likely to be creative, charming their way to someone's heart, having the ability to make the beginning of the relationship truly magical. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first obstacle appears when in creating the relationship they try to fix the relationship pattern that they witnessed failing or the moment in which they reach the phase in which they've already accomplished creating a relationship that matches their ideal. At this point, the runner drops the creative energy and effort becoming stagnant. Creating beyond this point is a real challenge.The purpose is to create the ideal scenario that in their minds is perfect with the belief that once all the parameters have been set, the relationship settles in the flow of love and abundance. There's no vision beyond this point. because this is an experience never lived and which has to be created. Unfortunately, we do tend to create what we already know. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's essential to understand this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The feeling that urges the runner to leave is the inability to live in safe and loving spaces, the lack of trust in love, not so much in their partners. It's the sensation that they've hit an energetic wall, so deep, wide and tall, that even thinking about how to get to the other side is exhausting and demoralising. This emotion is not to be taken lightly, however difficult it might be to imagine it. It takes the runner to a different dimension. They're now fully into the unknown. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No one enters the unknown feeling equipped to cruise through it. The unknown is a place where we stumble before we flow, hence, it's tempting to return to the comfort zone. In the case of the runner, the alarms sets off because they move from love to vertigo within a matter of minutes, even seconds. The abruptness of the change in emotions can be and usually is overwhelming. It's also an intense encounter with the feeling of being all alone once again. Panic follows. From here on, there are two options, to stay and go through the storm of emotions that follow or to leave and return to the same old habits. The first step takes courage and patience, the latter is a walk back to the comfort zone, however uncomfortable this might feel and no matter how spectacular or poetic they may make it sound. We can convince ourselves of anything in order to avoid the leap of faith the holds the key to universal love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The answers to the dilemmas we're tormented by are in the stories we tell ourselves. The problem in finding them is that most people speak what they want to hear. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's important to remove the romantic tag from the runner, however charming or enchanting they may be. Runners in their comfort zone can be predatory, slowly weaving a web in which to trap lovers they do not usually want to be in a long term relationship with, seduce them with their stories and that evasive air of mystery and mysticism so easy to recognise in them, and which, to others might look like freedom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner is also propense to theatrics and drama and have worked out subtle ways to make it sound as if it's somehow their partners fault that they're leaving even when they utter the famous "it's not you, it's me! sentence. It sounds more like, "damn you for not rescuing me from this space after opening my heart to you."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At some point the runner will numb their feelings. While this reaction is a natural defense mechanism they've created, the coldness that follows tends to be heartbreaking and devastating to others, as well as to themselves. To their partners because they feel used and abandoned, to the runner, because living in an ice house is not where they want to be. It doesn't feel like home, and it's not home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The coldness of the heart is not a place where anyone can stay too long without serious consequences. Soon they come out seeking the warmth of love and the touch of others. From lover to lover, the runner loses touch with their conscience and their heart, often validating their way of living by creating a self-mythological figure that believes that they're teachers demostrating others how to love. "Learn the lesson I came to teach you now and live with it", they'd say. Unaware of their own coldness, they move on to the next lover without kindness, nor compassion for the person left behind. If they remove you from their lives, it's because they neither want to deal with the emotions you raise in them, nor they believe they're capable of. It's easier to keep looking outside for answers, and in their minds, a new lover will come with all the answers. Little do they know that a new lover will only come with the same bag of emotions and undealt with issues, making the runner feel great for a while, but even worse afterwards. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also possible that the runner meets controlling lovers that try to tell them what to do, sensing their desire to leave from the beginning. The runner will tell that they are leaving or that they never stay long, a deliberate act that gives them the upper hand and puts you in the position of the chaser. Being involved in this unhealthy dynamic, the runner would get the worse of their lovers, in which case, they'd leave at once. However, it's necessary to know that the runner surrounds themselves with a set of emotional traps imposible to avoid. If one doesn't provoke you, they're throw another one at your feet in front of your very eyes without any remorse or shame, then blame you for your reaction. It's provocation. Nothing else. But as it's directed at the heart, not reacting to them it's a natural reaction almost impossible to avoid. It hurts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Despite the above description, the runner doesn't have to be a bad person and most likely is not. They're like everyone else; people learning to love their way back home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the other side of the story, the chaser develops controlling mechanisms, which do not serve the purpose either, as these instruments of control are developed with fear. This approach doesn't work either, as the chaser enters a phase in which panic takes control of them, and in which both, love and creativity suffer setbacks. If there's neither love, nor creativity, relationships die. Fear is paralysing and it affects both lovers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not easy to find a standard answer that serves all, as every runner reacts to different triggers and according to their personal experience, as well as to their partners. In theory, the solution is simple: stop, stay and enjoy the unknown, being in love with life, love itself and with someone else, but not reacting to the emotion is almost impossible. All the energy that's wasted in running and destroying love could well be used to create a relationship in which love, harmony and abundance is limitless, but for this to happen, the runner has to make a conscious effort to remain and explore possibilities that can only be found in the unknown.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The common mistake in all runners is to react to their inability to process their own emotions and run. Emotions are linked and even blamed on the other person, creating the illusion that without their lovers they'd be safe. Running is a futile exercise, as it's only running towards the same time and again, only that represented by a different face, a different voice, a different environment. It feels safe for a while, but it's more of the same illusion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's necessary to look at someone's personal history in order to find where the triggers initiate, as well as finding resources that allow different responses that permit to create new paths. The runner is not reacting to their lover, but to the reminiscence of a feeling experienced during their earlier years. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The urge to run in the runner goes so deep that even when I work with clients dealing with this issue they tend to disappear for long periods, despite the fact that ours is a professional/client relationship with well defined boundaries, as well as a safe space to explore within themselves what's too emotionally intense in a romantic relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gestalt techniques and psychodrama offer a wonderful array of possibilities for the exploration of this character, the fears that create the urge to run, as well as showing the strengths, confidence and above all, to show the runner, that love is safe, and that being with someone they truly want to be with can be more rewarding than fearful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's time that the world learns that love is the safest place to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They say that curiosity killed the cat. I say that lack of curiosity is killing the human being. Lack of curiosity for love, for the adventure, for learning what we are, and expressing the limitlessness of who we really are. </span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-3232388309970198492018-02-21T13:04:00.001-08:002018-04-09T02:33:18.832-07:00Creating A Successful, Future Version Of Yourself. <div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most people understandably seek <b>emotional</b> safety and certainty of the <b>future </b>in and from others, not knowing that the making of their future portrait lies in their hands. While the certainty of the specific <b>future </b>cannot be guaranteed or <b>manifested</b> as someone may wish it to be, it's also possible to work towards it. The main problem in creating the future is that the mind tends to take as reference present and past <b>experiences</b>, which can be perceived as impossible obstacles to overcome. The way forward for a different future is to do something different, easy in practice, not so easy in practice, as there's a natural tendency to resort to the usual <b>habits</b> and <b>patterns of behaviour.</b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first step is to accept that there cannot be certainty of the future, although it's possible to challenge this belief, and with focus and dedication get closer to a desired reality. Everything is a paradox. Depending on the level of perception we might get lost in the contradiction. What is true now, it doesn't have to be true tomorrow. The key to everything we want is in energy. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everything is </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">energy</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. When properly managed, it</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> can change anything, everything and everyone.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Energy can either flow or remain stagnant depending on </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">actions</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">thoughts</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">words</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. What's done today is a step pointing at the future we are going to. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Energy is much easier to manage than what it might seem. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The process is simple. The practice might not be so. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every word, action, thought and intention carries a determined energy, and each of these elements plays an important part in someone's development. Intention is created from an idea, thought or feeling. Keeping the energy of the initial feeling is essential in order to succeed despite the obstacles one might face in the process. Persistence no matter what! The higher vibration in the feeling, the more powerful the intention. In order to reach a high vibration with an intention, its nature also determines the direction. An intention could be born from the best idea, but could be not a vibrational match to its essence for several reasons, such as morals, principles or beliefs. Matching both is also essential. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another obstacle is the resistance to get excited, to allow ourselves to be happy by aiming and getting something we really want. It's a usual characteristic in people not to get too excited about a brighter future. The feeling has a root in the belief that we're not good enough or don't deserve it, which is stored in the energetic storage of self-worth and self-esteem. Listen to yourself, and when it doubt seek the source of the information carried in your thoughts, which is most likely coming from a parent expressing in multiple forms that you're not good enough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If the idea is to serve the greater good, but the intention and purpose is only to make money from it, the goal may be reached eventually, but it's also possible that it never sees the light of day. This is only an example. Serving others and financial gain are matching energies, but if your belief is flawed and perceive that, either, you're not good enough or have negative believes about money, the new venture won't blossom. One belief cancels the other. The idea and personal belief that someone may have on money could block the intention. However, regardless of one's personal belief system, it should not deter anyone from pursuing or achieving their goals. In most cases it's a matter of shifting someone's energy into a new belief. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shifting beliefs can be perceived as a painful process or even an impossible task. It doesn't have to be. One of the obstacles that people find in their way to success is the wrong beliefs or perception that they may have. In order to change this, first, someone has to be aware of what's stopping them. This could be a difficult task, as we often don't see that the first barrier between us and success is the self. Seeking professional assistance may be a step forward in the right direction, as one simple realisation can improve or change the views that we have on the world, goals and the self. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Intention is followed by words, thoughts and actions, all of which ideally match the vibration of the idea and the intention. In this case, the project is the development of a person, but the process can be applied to anything else. Whatever the project, it carries someone's personal imprint, reason for which one also may want to consider who to share it with or whom to get involved. When energy is high, people, situations and every other necessary element will appear to make it possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's best not to share your dreams, goals or the decisions you make with anyone. Explaining ourselves to the world eventually turns as a justification for being, losing strength and the sense of purpose. Most people are too quick to give unwanted advice, feedback or even criticism finding fault to everything. Remember how many times you've been told that something is not possible, yet, there are so many people around the world living their dream because they believe that it is indeed possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Successful people don't listen to the noise of the world. The noise of the world being the collective unconscious to which most people contribute with their negative experiences and the fall out of dreams they never pursued. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Get excited and keep the energy contained. It's a matter of working on it, to express it with action and movement which in turn will bring more ideas along, as well as the right people. There are also a large number of encouraging people out there. Not everyone falls for the negative. Some people actually want to see you succeed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Talking about it and sharing it with others is often detrimental, as many people do not share the same intention, nor want to see you succeed or being happy. More often than not, the closer we are to someone, the more discouraging they'll be. Get excited, live the excitement while working on it, and let others guess why your energy has shifted. If you're not being successful, you might be surrounded by toxic people. Let them go!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's important to consider the energy that is created during the process. Every action is stored in someone's energetic field throughout time. The energy that is created today is probably the energy they're going to be living with tomorrow. <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/04/the-key-to-abundance-ascension-and.html">There is a key element in this process: integrity. </a>By taking action and achieving small victories that take you one step further to what you want, you're storing a new memory in your body and psyche, which in time will help you to get there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not every action that you take has to be a victory, and that's OK, but one successful step already serves to change perception and to show you that you're on the right path. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If while reading this your reality is not the one you desire, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity, but that perhaps certain steps towards your dreamed future has taken a few detours in the wrong direction. Experience and the mistakes made throughout are invaluable sources of wisdom, as well as pointing out in which direction not to walk to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's easy to see how the process develops by feeling the energy that creates. Thoughts must match words, words match actions and all together the intention. However imperceptible one may think the dissonance appears to others and that they can get away with it, with good words or perhaps symbolic, public actions, energy speaks before any event takes place. Follow the energy of the feeling, not the outcome. Energy can break through any obstacles and remove from your life the most pessimistic person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To create a beautiful portrait of the self, it's necessary to focus on one's goals. How to get there is not as important as getting there. However, it doesn't mean that for this purpose someone can deviate from the moral compass. Integrity is a must. In order to be successful it's necessary to say no to what's convenient now, -even if it doesn't make sense or makes you uncomfortable,- so as to reach what's important at the end of the journey. The process is about creating opportunities, not about being opportunistic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Deep within everyone knows who they are, what we're meant to do with our lives and the kind of person we want to be. To be who and what we are, we do not need to wait another forty years. This is a decision that anyone can make here and now. It's likely that throughout the process we meet the opposition of many people, especially those who claim to love us the most, and that in order not to antagonise them we deviate from our true calling, always returning to square one, becoming discouraged and depressed because they neither understand, nor support you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Learn to listen, so as to hear what people really want to say. Again, follow the feeling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Family and friends are usually the first ones to find problems to every solution, to put obstacles in someone else's way while showing that they care or love. They probably don't know better, and it's possible that they never listened to you. Family and friends tend to project their issues, what makes it, seeing you almost impossible. At some point they must go or stand aside. Relying on the opinions of others to embrace who we are, we'd never get anywhere. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The process doesn't have to be dramatic or painful. Begin the process knowing that you might meet obstacles and accept that this is OK. Every challenge is an opportunity for growth. What's essential is to focus all your attention and energy on your goals, rather than fighting the opinions of others. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What's important to have in mind is that every action can change the energy that drives you. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. I can't emphasise enough how essential it is to acknowledge that the future can change anytime with one heartfelt action, as well as to remember that the energy that's generated can change your life forever. If you're capable of one small success, you're capable of many more. What you want might not be possible by hitting the jackpot or in a day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A simple example.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Writing a book takes time, energy and effort. Writing regularly is necessary. Writing is not something we talk about, but something we do. Each page is one step forward towards the end. It might take several books, several songs, different courses or qualifications, or a minimum of months to transform your body. All these goals have one thing in common: persistence. If the energy feels right today, it might be an activity that you want to take on tomorrow, and as you practice every day, you improve your skills, see what works and what doesn't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All broken dreams have one thing in common, people never worked towards them. Think about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following article also offers guidance to get what you want:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2018/02/the-freedom-in-being-authentic.html">The freedom in being authentic. </a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXM2dM51OWDRhGkpcgAwuyLFTvEPmxpq3AnHGXg-uy7duFPoDpfXpfDf1NUAf7R4zP_WcE_aBK5K-2DiIUZTgUL9ZC6LsgyHeuH278boT0Jy-X76TrsBQQKu84BcuP1nOuuCotlVEKCtk/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXM2dM51OWDRhGkpcgAwuyLFTvEPmxpq3AnHGXg-uy7duFPoDpfXpfDf1NUAf7R4zP_WcE_aBK5K-2DiIUZTgUL9ZC6LsgyHeuH278boT0Jy-X76TrsBQQKu84BcuP1nOuuCotlVEKCtk/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;" /><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-90371665567483225732018-02-17T15:00:00.002-08:002018-02-19T08:56:18.984-08:00To Find Love, You Don't Have To Love Yourself First.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzKVOo82yIWjrLfYhU5YNq2UnKfugzlPe-F0A5-W3tO270oJlJvcgHnFEu3GhC7NJS5_AFiZTUcKyCYzXhWdO_nz9kDofqyfJrJZIusUrXcIV9mzhDcyZP4JiRl5tyaouVyWdrza9CoM/s1600/self-love+manel+blanco+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="640" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzKVOo82yIWjrLfYhU5YNq2UnKfugzlPe-F0A5-W3tO270oJlJvcgHnFEu3GhC7NJS5_AFiZTUcKyCYzXhWdO_nz9kDofqyfJrJZIusUrXcIV9mzhDcyZP4JiRl5tyaouVyWdrza9CoM/s640/self-love+manel+blanco+blog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Rumour has it that you have to <b>love yourself</b> before you find love. <b>New age </b>rumour. The new age seems to have a number of unsubstantiated rules and regulations that have become part of the <b>collective unconscious</b>, and while they might come with good intentions, can cause more harm than good. That someone has to love themselves before they can love others or find love is one of them. Anyone can love anyone else anytime they feel like it, and definitely someone who has not yet learn to love themselves, which is the majority of people, can still find <b>love </b>and a <b>relationship</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Loving yourself definitely helps to find love, as the energy someone functions on and emanates is higher and more inviting to others. In fact, it's possible to be in love, even before meeting someone. Being in love is a magnet, therefore attraction and love are easy to manifest. It's the natural state of the human being. Whether we are connected or not to such source is a different story. This is a fact that I know from experience, and which I believe to be true for many. However, it's not an essential step in the quest of love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Telling someone to love themselves before finding love is the same as telling people that they don't deserve love. While the intention might be good it can affect the confidence and self-esteem in someone who's already feeling low or unworthy of love and send them straight to depression. What in the spur of the moment -because this is a clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">é- and could sound wise coming from someone who goes from </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">é to </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">é in order to look well versed in the spiritual journey, is not wisdom. It's actually a rather unwise thing to say.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Furthermore, someone who loves themselves, but have not been able to find love or the appropriate person to have a relationship with could begin to believe that they're also unworthy of love. There are many people who love themselves that remain single for this reason. This is a limiting belief and one that goes along the line that we're not good enough, and that we don't deserve love. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">Over the years I had the pleasure of serving many clients, mostly working on their relationships issues. I have not yet worked with anyone who wasn't deserving of love or couldn't find it, as they all reunited qualities and attributes worth having and worth loving. Most of the issues they were dealing with were obstacles that people find to love or to be loved, which is a natural stage to go through for everyone, and which are developed throughout life by a constant exposure to abusive elements. The reasons to reach such beliefs are simple. This is what we've all been told repeatedly from birth, if not by parents, by siblings, friends, peers, stranger or by the many voices of the collective unconscious. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">People might be facing fear of love or intimacy, fear of rejection or abandonment, feeling unworthy, recovering from deep traumas caused by abuse of neglect. Some people have greater social skills, others may be less attractive, but still attractive to someone. All these reasons influence people's self-worth and confidence, but there's no reason why anyone couldn't find love.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">Having worked with so many people in building their strengths, positive attributes and self-esteem in order to help them solve their limiting beliefs, I know that it can be a lengthy process, which can be dismantled by sentences such as this. And it is a sentence. A prison sentence. Most people already live in the prison of their limiting beliefs. We don't need more of it, especially not coming from the spiritual community. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also know from experience that in order to reach a successful outcome, </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">és don't help. There's not one standard answer for everyone. The problem with throwing </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">és around camouflaged wisdom, is that everyone is dealing with different issues, and that while one answer serves many, it might not apply to the someone else. Even the same answer has to be adapted to the character, personality and experience of that person. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not possible to treat everyone in the same way, therefore </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">és don't work. C</span></span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">lichés only work in the collective unconscious, while love is an energy that moves in the collective consciousness. There's a great difference between both, as there's is between shadows and light. Clichés are in fact great selling techniques targeting people's weaknesses. A </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clich</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">é i</span></span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">s the box everyone talks about. It doesn't require thinking. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone is born in love. From that moment on, we learn fear from family, society and culture. Learning not to love ourselves is a consequence of how society as a whole is separated from collective consciousness and any resemblance of love. Love is not what drives the world. Fear is, and so, people do respond with reactions to love. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">The tragedy is that unconsciously we continue doing to ourselves what it has been done to us, acquiring and prolonging bad habits, which become normal automatism for survival. Family and social pressure follow a pattern and modern of education that is nothing but a bullying system that forces most people not to be themselves. While adapting to uniformity, we lose authenticity. It's nor surprising that many people insist on the important of self-love and self-parenting. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">It's important to consider that someone people had terrible experiences in relationships or just ended one, what makes, asking someone to love themselves in order to receive something that is natural to us all; love. It's the same manipulative and controlling attitude that individual and the collective have used forever. You can't have this until you've done that. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">There's nothing to prove to anyone. Nothing that we have to do in order to love or be loved. This popular saying has nothing to do with love. If you believe that you need to do something to find love, you'd need to keep doing something to keep love, which is an unconscious reactions to fear of abandonment. It's the illogical reasoning imposes and demands love: I love you, hence, "you have to love me back."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">While learning and exploring self-love, self-care or tackling some of the deeper barriers that affect the development of the relationship that we have with the self and/or a partner, to love yourself first is not a requirement to find love. Love is everywhere and it could appear anytime. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">We've been taught to fear from the beginning of our lives, and acquired every other sub-product of fear there is, which we implement in our relationships with others. It's time that we begin to understand and speak the qualities of love, and with the qualities of love, which sound and feel of freedom, creativity and expansion. There are no rules. I wish people stopped punishing others with this so-called new age wisdom. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Listen not to the words of others, but to the feeling you have when talking to others. If it's a conversation about love and it's not uplifting, it's probably not loving. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Since publishing this blog post last night, I've received numerous replies, mostly unkind, to put it mildly. First, I already wrote about how magnetic and attractive one can become when one vibrates in love and the feeling comes from within without the need for someone else to make us feel complete. The blog post can be found in this blog. Second, this is not an article on self-love, just pointing out the lazy sentence that leaves people feeling unworthy of love. Third, most of the comments I've read have been unkind, condescending and even abusive, not to mention that they were off topic, and it seems that didn't read the article, just wanted to put their message across. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I don't know how people can talk about self-love while using abusing and patronising language. It only proves my point further that some people talk about things they don't know about it because they don't feel it. If there's no love in the language, there's no love in the message. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2018/02/the-freedom-in-being-authentic.html">The Freedom in Being Authentic.</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.85px; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;" /><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; white-space: normal;"> </span></span></span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-68306057569727249612018-02-14T12:53:00.001-08:002018-02-14T13:14:04.639-08:00Five Articles Towards More Conscious Relationships.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVu7iZJ-L0ze82t92jJ0faMv49YjK5_29ylgtNi3rYxaxeQIQZOYKX60AEIFuRtQYMsMMJbpWufZM8i1QCR5zT-rb8MjYWRwO0wJEMoiEbaFMZuO5rwSxq4RlsaLdb5HZmbiFz7HfLtHw/s1600/Conscious-relationships+manel+blanco+blog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVu7iZJ-L0ze82t92jJ0faMv49YjK5_29ylgtNi3rYxaxeQIQZOYKX60AEIFuRtQYMsMMJbpWufZM8i1QCR5zT-rb8MjYWRwO0wJEMoiEbaFMZuO5rwSxq4RlsaLdb5HZmbiFz7HfLtHw/s640/Conscious-relationships+manel+blanco+blog.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The word out there is that the number of people seeking more conscious relationships is on the rise. <b>Conscious relationships</b> offer an open space in which both individuals can express themselves freely, so as to embrace the other in a constant dance of authenticity. Conscious only means that there's a deliberate attempt to work through obstacles, triggers and dramas by understanding the self, then others. On principle this creative space is found in all relationships. What makes a difference is that the effort is deliberate, allowing a variety of emotional and practical tools to operate in order to create a more dynamic and <b>successful </b>relationship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are no limits to what two people can achieve in a relationship if they both consciously work on expanding. Relationships can help to debunk inflexible myths and stereotypes that keep people stagnant. It's perhaps the best space to heal traumas and to learn what we really want from life and love. Not all relationships serve the purpose, nor would contribute to improve either the self or the way we interact with others and the world. While there's not a magic formula that serves all, as any insight requires flexibility and adapting to new patterns, beliefs and habits, it's possible to find the right direction through awareness, which is the intention of this blog post. What one does or doesn't do with this information if implemented always comes down to a personal choice to improve the self, in order to be more whole, more magnetic, more attractive; more authentic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first article, <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/07/seekers-after-truth-truth-we-are.html">Seekers After Truth</a> deals with truth. A necessary journey within that helps to know more about who we are not until somebody gets to know who and what they really are. While this is a personal exercise, the support of a loving partner makes the journey a more fulfilling experience from a place of understanding and compassion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/02/twin-flames-and-shadow-work.html">Shadow Work</a> is another essential tool to have in mind throughout the relationship. The process is done both, individually and as a couple. In the book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' there's a detailed description of the process, as well as treating different dynamics in relationships. There are incredible benefits to shadow work for those interested in creating a more conscious relationship, not only with their partners, but with the self. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2015/06/the-twin-flame-runner-and-fear-of-love.html">Twin Flames and Fear Of Love</a>, to which it could be added intimacy, even though it a different subject and one that will be published in this blog shortly, the reader can explore some of the obstacles that people create when facing love and in relationships. It also deals with what the deep root that leads many people to abandon relationships or not to begin one. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/Sacred%20Sex:%20Honouring%20Heart,%20Body,%20Soul%20And%20The%20Miracle%20Of%20Love.">Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul And The Miracle of Love</a> is an exploration on the ever expanding possibilities that a couple can find through sex, as well as the importance of love, foreplay and playfulness between two lovers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/07/the-problem-with-trust-why-we-dont.html">The Problem With Trust</a> delves into one of the most common issues that a couple face in a relationship, and ways in which they might deal with it once there's an awareness and acceptance that this might be a problem. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Over the years, most of the people I've coached on relationships and personal development expressed great interest in dealing with relationship issues mostly, and while it's important to be aware of the dynamics in relationships, most of them agreed that they could have avoided breaking up with their couples if they've built their relationships on some of the solutions provided in these five articles instead of leaving everything to chance. With greater awareness, the chances are that relationships become happier and successful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most issues in relationships, if not all could be solved by simply focusing on love, as love is the true alchemy to transformed everything. Every article written and read, every piece of advice, any understanding on the dynamics in relationships mean nothing if love is not the driving force. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1arCVTrEC9DgNaRyGTrnJ22Auwjm-eUuyMeE2atfSM_wwfrYl5GSsUFsCt_W8Hi0BAL9uX5zcTIuOB9h2pqaRjKezN_KDKKOUEZh-Q1UExigOmq-kLFilitmI4ex5JbQiFhMMzSMsE2g/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1arCVTrEC9DgNaRyGTrnJ22Auwjm-eUuyMeE2atfSM_wwfrYl5GSsUFsCt_W8Hi0BAL9uX5zcTIuOB9h2pqaRjKezN_KDKKOUEZh-Q1UExigOmq-kLFilitmI4ex5JbQiFhMMzSMsE2g/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a> or contact <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-25551947749351739162018-02-12T12:51:00.001-08:002018-10-01T01:14:01.139-07:00Being Wild At Heart In The Quest Of Love And Freedom. <div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's this society we live in, built and absorbed by the <b>collective unconscious</b> in which obsolete rules and beliefs keep the human being dazed in a cloud of fear, thwarting dreams, keeping people limited by old <b>paradigms</b> that no longer serves humanity's <b>evolution</b>. The so-called experts and scientists predict the devolution of the human being with 'proven' theories of gloom and doom, which only serve to inject more fear, which in turn closes the heart of the collective, as well as of the individual, and with it, to deter hope and faith in the limitless expansion that a person is truly capable of. Within this cloud, numerous hearts hold on to the real possibility of a <b>conscious world</b>, no longer buying into the lie. In following the call of the heart and the soul, they're called, <b>wild</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The same experts and scientists work for the establishment devising and creating more ways in which to keep the human being small, limited and living in constant fear. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's that other society that lives in everybody's hearts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are numerous terms to tag the wild ones with, but none truly describe who they are: the misfits, the black sheep, hippies, bohemian, the lone wolf; the outcasts. They are the poets, the artists, the dancers, the healers, the wanderers, the heartbreakers. It's the prodigal child that never returns. It's an anarchic army that moves away from the anesthetising normality, breaking the rules, even laws. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While breaking the law is not something that can be promoted, it only takes one look at the state of the world to see that lawmakers and law enforcers also break them, often causing harm to others. Most laws are obsolete, and a vast majority, unjust. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The energy of the collective unconscious is crammed with so many rules and limitations that it's impossible for most people to live with a minimum sense of freedom. While it's an energy that most people don't feel, the threat of punishment and exclusion has been so widely promoted that it lies deeply ingrained in the psyche and hearts of most people. It's no wonder that life doesn't flow as it's supposed to be. More concerned on what we have than who we are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You will hear stories about the wild one, as if they were a shadow figure not to be approached, nor spoken to, for he and she will undoubtedly be a bad influence. The wild at heart breaks through conventions and traditions that do not allow the free expression of the individual. It's not that all their actions are spotless or ventures to be proud of. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They're loved at home, but not wanted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As someone who doesn't fit into any box, wandering from place to place it turns into a way of living. The call of the soul within is too intense to conform. The heart does not grow fondness for anything that doesn't serve its purpose, an as a consequence this person tends to be detached, on a path of letting go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While everything you've read so far might invite to romanticise the figure of the wild at heart, it's best not too. Being wild at heart is not about creating another mythological figure of which freedom and courage people speak of and recognise after their death, while the mourners remain unconscious. Being wild is a way of living, a protest against what no longer serves humanity, an act of rebellion against the establishment and a personal decision to break through each and every obstacle created by mankind to stop the beautiful expression of the self. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yet, the wild at heart, it's the most romantic of all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a common belief that in order to build something, first we must destroy something else. In architecture it works wonderfully, but as a person moves across life destroying or dismissing anything that imposes limitations or feels like imprisonment, and this is often the heart of others, it's a pattern not truly applied to people. In this case, what they destroy most is the themselves in the process of creating the self.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being wild is a way to come of the comfort zone, to break from fear and to remember who someone really is through a series of mistakes. Mistakes that are being made because risks are taken, and while on occasion they might be wrong, it is no better to remain static within a system knowing that it is the system what's already wrong and broken. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Risks challenge fear. Mistakes clears the path showing which direction not to take. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To remain true to what someone already knows to be a lie, as it is the current system, is one sure way to never live, to never love, to never pursue, nor fulfill someone's dreams. People are considered wild because they refuse to buy the lie that the majority used to mortgage their lives, knowing well that in such reality they sacrifice most dreams and desires. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If the current model proposed is so wonderful, why is no one happy with it?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you walk the wild path, you will be criticised, even demonised; fingers will be pointed at you for your choices. Judgment and criticism is one of the main reasons people do not dare to live their dreams, but at this point it's essential to consider that everyone is criticised. What we are blamed for, it's a personal choice. What matters in the end is the sense of freedom, despite the strenuous efforts someone might have to make in order to free themselves from the lie and the hypocrisy of the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a matter of staying true to the self or to become a shadow of who one is capable of being. Throughout history there have been a large number of people who were considered wild or mad, people who risked and lost either their freedom or their lives, sometimes both. There's no need to go to extremes and seek the heroic romanticism of the past. In order to remain free, one only needs to stop buying into the lie. This step is as simple as to stop leading a life in which materialism is more important than the spiritual or more important than your heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being wild is a call that emerges deep from the heart; a call that everyone has, but not everyone follows. To criticise or to condemn those who chose to pursue the call of freedom instead of a complying with society's model is a symptom of the decease of dissatisfaction and depression that plagues the collective unconscious, which, while doing nothing creative to explore their hearts and souls, they have too much time to talk about others. A clear sign of the unhappiness that dazes the world. People who are happy leading their lives, don't have time, nor they'd waste it if they had it on personal choices or ways of living that do not affect them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's too easy, as well as highly hypocritical to condemn the lost of innocent lives after a bombing, while the critic knows that their vote and support for a political party allowed certain people in power with no regards for human life in the first place. The terms to describe these characters are: sociopaths and psychopaths. It's not enough to say that the other party would have done the same. This is not just buying into the limitation, but to live happily unhappy within the lie. Until the bomb drops on their houses, that is!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's only through self-exploration and the transformation of the self that the world will reach a higher state of consciousness and a sense of unity. Many social models have been proposed throughout history. Models that didn't work because people continue living their lives in the most unconscious and selfish ways, primarily caring only about themselves. To reach a state of higher consciousness, the sense of freedom, so as to embrace it all, to be and live in a permanent state of being in love, one must first face their fears. Being wild on a Friday evening binge drinking and misbehaving is not really being wild. One can be wild, peaceful and orderly. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you're seeking freedom at one point you will have to stand up, raise your voice and tell the world and your critics who you are. This is done by a way of living, by making a constant statement that confirms your commitment to yourself and your choices. Fear might appear and has to be faced, but it's even more scary to live an unhappy life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To be called wild or mad is not an insult, but a compliment. The wild at heart is a leader, a precursor like there have been so many before. A leader of their own fate that follows the vision and the feeling of freedom. Of course, it's a personal choice to follow the heart and manifest our deepest wishes and dreams. Don't ask yourself what you're losing if you don't stay. Ask yourself and envision where you'd be if you decided to follow your heart instead. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Related posts:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;" /><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span></div>
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</span>Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-91092127966154102122018-02-08T12:40:00.002-08:002020-02-27T04:45:17.169-08:00When The Twin Flame Runner Decides To Stay.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrOcxkomGAuRdiS-IT5D2b4VqDN9K3Lx2ul1g-FRnV71IDUIpbgRbYjFOCVO4BBBnnzeLfpbvARKGbvIjanjk4MkiX-b7X9fRdxVSOGVodDYoqXHkeie99C_FOuQ9u-ucK8zv6p9urVAo/s1600/twin+flames+manel+blanco+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrOcxkomGAuRdiS-IT5D2b4VqDN9K3Lx2ul1g-FRnV71IDUIpbgRbYjFOCVO4BBBnnzeLfpbvARKGbvIjanjk4MkiX-b7X9fRdxVSOGVodDYoqXHkeie99C_FOuQ9u-ucK8zv6p9urVAo/s640/twin+flames+manel+blanco+blog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's an <b>evocative </b>presence even in their absence attached to the figure of the <b>twin flame</b> <b>runner</b>. In the current level of collective consciousness, there's a tendency to romanticise that one <b>lover</b> that got away. It's human condition to celebrate our defeats, both collective and personal; to make a landmark of a deep wound that could, and indeed does condition people's ability to live from the heart, sometimes affecting their ability to love fully again. The sense of nostalgia and loss sinks deep along with the memory of the runner once they're gone, somehow keeps people on edge, <b>understanding pain</b> as the only way to find motivation in the <b>quest of love</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Collective consciousness stores the popular knowledge and wisdom that people access in order to find solutions practical and existential dilemmas. There are different rooms in this library, different levels. Which one we access can have a great influence in where we go next and how we feel about it. Too often the solutions chosen are the ones that never worked. This library is out there, but it's also within, and when we understand one, we understand the other. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't have to be this way. It's possible to regain a sense of self based on inner strength and beauty. The feeling within has an incredible power to determine someone's identity, character and personality. Pain and suffering keep people distracted from their true core. The magic of the soul is always here and now for everyone has access to it anytime they wish, and it can be accessed with a conscious thought. However, thoughts, feelings and emotions reflected on the mirror of the runner creates a distorted image that we have of ourselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first emotional response after separation tends to be heartbreak. Vital energy is depleted. In the space created by abandonment one hears the echoes of what everyone, or nearly everyone heard form birth: that they're not good enough. The twin flame is exceptionally good at challenging us with constant reminders. It's up to us to challenge these beliefs and embrace our authenticity. The idea and belief that we have on what love and loyalty really are can be misleading. In the name of love, too often we become doormats to the irate speech of our lovers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The twin flame is not here to give constant validation. They are here to love and be loved.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being abandoned by a partner confirms what the noise of the world repeats and that so deeply ingrained remains in the human psyche. As people do not feel good enough, they project the same image on anyone else, regardless of how amazing and authentic they might be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Abandonment triggers such belief, as the sudden loss of the lover is embodied by our whole being without questioning it. All one sees is the current reality; a sad reality that has never been neither real, nor true. The truth is that everyone is more than enough, and while there might be differences between every person, how we can achieve or are capable of, everyone is deserving of love. To speak of someone or to someone with such disdain and condescension is an old paradigm used by people who don't feel enough, and whom might have never had anyone celebrating their qualities and natural talents. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner is no different to anyone else. However high is the opinion they have of themselves, they also live under the I'm-not-good-enough paradigm, which extends to fear of love, abandonment and intimacy. It's a complex and explosive cocktail of emotions to live with that most people find difficult, if not impossible to cope with. To understand why the runner abandons the relationship while it might be obvious that they're still in love and for no apparent reason, it's important to realise that their own demons are running wild through the dark chambers of the soul, and that you, as their lover or twin flame are a constant reminder of what they're experiencing through emotions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What doesn't make sense to you, it does to them. How they rationalise it and how willing they are to face these demons might determine whether they stay or they go. Love is not always enough, if in the company of demons and fears, the feeling they experience is the weakening of their vital energy and sense of self. In order to reconnect with who we really are, it's unavoidable to go through dark periods, moments of depression, anxiety and even fear. During these stages it's impossible to feel that one is good enough, and the runner doesn't want anyone to witness it. The runner considers themselves independent, adventurous and courageous. To kneel before fear is neither how they see themselves, nor how they want others to see or remember them. There's nothing more daunting in a relationship than to know that our partner sees that we no longer belief, nor feel that we're not good enough. Confusing vulnerability with weakness increase such belief.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The twin flame relationship intensifies every feeling. At this point, the runner has two options: to establish a dialogue with their lover in order to find support and rely on the truth that love heals everything, or to convince themselves of the lie that they can only regain a sense of self by themselves. Running away from the relationship doesn't only breaks your heart, it breaks theirs too, but they'd never admit to it or allow you to see it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The difficulty in establishing the basis for a new dialogue lies in two main facts: first; that one has to present every fear and demon they've experienced, as well as the repercussions that had in their life and relationships. And two; the emotional turmoil may cause them to return to old excuses, validating them as impossible obstacles to overcome. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The purpose of this dialogue is to start a life changing narrative that allows any individual to live to their full potential by exploring their authenticity. No one can reach that point without truth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner doesn't begin a relationship so they can end it, although they are well guarded and in a permanent state of alert. The runner wants to stay, attracted by the magic and dynamics of the relationship. While they find themselves wandering once again through the dark chambers of the soul facing every demon and fear, they're also intimately attracted by the intensity of love in this particular relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner stays once they realise that in the continuous search for love they have to pause and see that the safety and security they're seeking can be found now and here and with this lover; that escaping is to escape from the self, from love and everything they're looking for. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While taking the decision to end a relationship and run away gives them a false sense of power, not allowing the other lover to find closure, they make themselves weaker with every ending. Not understanding the paradox one doesn't realise that what we do to others we do to ourselves, and that this false sense of power is only an illusion. The runner is actually giving up on you, on love and on themselves at the first sight of fear, and their inability to face it, not knowing that fear is simply a lie and not that scary after all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They will be afraid of a codependent relationship. In most cases they provoke and enhance this codependency with their constant rhetoric of independence and their ease to abandon any relationship. There's a great deal of arrogance in this statement, an inflated self-mythology and a confidence that vanishes in the air as no one is witnessing it. Such statements only serve to create a codependency in their lover, as it is with fear that they get the attention and love they crave. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The runner has to realise and understand that at some point they have to stop running and face their fears. To admit that what they fear most is being abandoned and being hurt, and see the it's love is not what hurts, but their resistance to love another and to allow themselves to be loved. It's the only way to reach the emotional maturity that in time allows love to flow. Love requires a lot of courage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Through life experience, the runner already knows that the same issues are presented in every relationship they establish, and that at one point it's a good idea to pause and reflect on why these issues keep appearing. When asking such question, it doesn't take too long before the runner realises that they drag the same issues from relationship to relationship and that every in new relationship it gets worse, as they have</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> multiple ways in which to introduce them, as well as cleverly blame their vulnerability on their partners. It's also important to realise that blame cannot be part of the equation, and that taking responsibility for their feelings and emotions is the only way to love; that it's OK to admit that on is afraid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's only when the runner finds the courage to appear most most vulnerable in front of their lover that they can see what they're looking for, love, friendship, companionship, and surprise, surprise! someone who truly listens, to then realise that if no one listened or understood before, it was only because it was safer to run than to speak up. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finding the courage to face fear of love will certainly give the impression at first that one is being destroyed, by either love or their partners. It's only with patience that we see the old paradigm die, so as to open space for the new person we become. Every personal rebirth comes after a small death. Better to face it when someone is a loving relationship with someone who listens and understands than to go through it alone. But, of course, this is always a personal choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not about feeling right, but the desire to make it feel right. No one can feel right while they're still running. It's exhausting!</span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-7968471159478629752018-02-06T14:39:00.002-08:002020-05-10T09:13:46.992-07:00The Freedom In Being Authentic.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8fkS_ImdpSoM_wfuGZfn6N_hBJs7ssJAaj7F77g13XG4990f3vlzsZD-ayWGlvvs-2p-UUM-2IHLDzZfe3GRH5ATrgkPlgNx6xt15qjZo53g-hXW_IFtFhec1oKiT-hvKbewEU5017ag/s1600/be-authentic+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8fkS_ImdpSoM_wfuGZfn6N_hBJs7ssJAaj7F77g13XG4990f3vlzsZD-ayWGlvvs-2p-UUM-2IHLDzZfe3GRH5ATrgkPlgNx6xt15qjZo53g-hXW_IFtFhec1oKiT-hvKbewEU5017ag/s640/be-authentic+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Being authentic</b> is perhaps the most difficult part of being human, or so it appears be. In a world that dictates, what everyone should do, be and think or what is right or wrong because, because, because; to remain true to who and what we are can be a daunting experience, but also one filled with wonderful rewards. There are no disadvantages to being authentic, when considering the infinite space for <b>personal expansion</b> that provides. It is, of course, possible to find all the negatives to being authentic, and if you don't find them, do not fret; others will soon point it out to you because, because, because ... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some choose to die on their feet, most; to live on their knees ... or not to live at all, but to merely survive in their path to regret ... </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Uniformity kills uniqueness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My first encounter with uniformity came when I was 3 or 4 years old. Everyone had to wear a fancy custom. It had been agreed that the boys would wear a footballer's uniform, while the girls had the freedom to pick whatever they wanted to wear that day. The dictate of uniformity begins early in everyone's life, and so it's gender division. It's only that we're too young to realise it. My mother made my uniform, which I happily wore to kindergarten. The rest of boys wore the local team's uniform. As mine was different, I was told that I couldn't play with them. There was a spare ball for me to play with. Alone I could do anything I wanted. Lesson One, and what a precious lesson that was. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Learning to play alone I became my own greatest entertainer. There's neither room for boredom within, nor I allow anyone to bring it to me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stories such as this, I've lived many in my life. From this, anyone can see that not complying with uniformity is reason for exclusion, but when I think about that day, I see that I was excluded from a competition in a game I didn't particularly wanted to play with mindless children who've already lost their uniqueness to uniformity, while mine remained intact. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the time, I was too young to feel the energy of rejection. I loved my hand made costume, -which is actually one of the best memories I had with my mother- and it was clear that there was no reason for their reaction. It was an age at which I could already write, and when I started school my grades went sky high. Hand made clothes continued being part of my childhood. I looked different. I was 'different', and so I learned to live with it. High grades were another mindless reason for rejection in the thoughtlessness of many. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My top that day was made with love. There was nothing loving about those boys, nor their behaviour. Guess which one I proudly chose?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of the reasons people use against someone's uniqueness, comes from the threat that someone's confidence represents to their feeble beliefs, as well as their own lack of confidence to live authentically and in harmony with what calls their souls. The sad truth is that someone doesn't have to do anything extraordinary to be hated by others, they just have to be themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eventually I got them back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being authentic builds up self-belief and confidence, as the energy someone grows with is aligned with and closer to who we really are, than to the unwritten manual of uniformity; a manual that otherwise no one knows how to read, nor interpret. Everyone who tries to read it gets lost in it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Authenticity pokes people's sensitivities in others and creates fear. People react accordingly. How dare someone to wear or say or do what I don't! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bullying is uniformed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Authenticity is nothing but to preserve and expand personally by following one's uniqueness the best they can, without betraying one's personal standards. It doesn't mean that one cannot compromise in order to get employment or other means to live or being social. Nowhere in the definition of being authentic there's an excuse or a reason for being an asshole to others in order to preserve their own personal space. There's an abysmal difference. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The route of authenticity is clear. One focuses on their creative energy to better themselves, and when possible the lives of others. Being true to oneself builds from within, while uniformity begins to build from the outside, with no care at all for the inner call in the human being. Forget feelings, emotions, dreams, desires. Just put this top on and come and play with us whether you like it or not. If one shirt is what makes the difference to being admitted to any kind of social group, perhaps you should consider the real value of what you're buying and why. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being authentic is a magnet for people who accept you as you really are, not for what they expect you to be. Authenticity and uniqueness are highly appreciate by many. It's also a powerful filter that most people wouldn't pass through. What matters from the beginning is the quality of the human connections, not the quantity. The urge for popularity that plagues the world in order to cover social isolation or the sense of inadequacy that takes over someone's soul the moment they buy their ticket to uniformity makes connections shallow and without substance, as well as being one of the reasons why loneliness and depression are taking over the heart of the collective. Imagine how many cocktails one needs to get through that social experience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Life might not be easy while being authentic, as the stand is this: "it is what it is; you decide." Taking a closer look at this approach, one can see the numerous benefits. Many people behave in ways that are socially acceptable in order to be liked or accepted by people they don't like, which is no guarantee to make others happy. People will continue being unhappy no matter what others do, if unhappy is how the feel. If they don't like you, they probably don't like themselves. When we're at peace with who we are, we don't have time to like or dislike, as we spend most of our time being. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While someone's efforts, time and energy are focused on improving themselves in whichever field they choose, they look within, whereas, seeking external mirrors to achieve the same effect, one loses authenticity, becoming a feeble mirror of what's expected. The heart shrinks when someone's desires are misplaced for the comfort of others. In the end, this formula makes no one happy. Seeking constant validation is exhausting, as there's always someone ready to point out that you're not wearing the uniform right, or that it doesn't suit you or that you can't afford it, therefore you're a fake. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, these people are already down, and that's where they want to bring you in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's possible that the opposition to being authentic begins at home and at a young age. This can be intimidating and one can live in constant fear of their parents. It continues at school, it comes from peers and social circles. Everyone knows what's best for us, but no one ever asks what we really want. For this reason, being authentic can be a solitary path, in which the only confirmation of who we are might only come from the self. It's necessary to seek comfort and reassurance within. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b> <span style="color: red;">When you buy the uniform, someone dictates the rest of </span></b></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"> your life for you. Think about that!</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are two important facts about me since the moment of birth. One, I am a writer. Everyone in my family knew this. <b>Only I know the times I was discouraged.</b> I was not so open to express the second one or to share it with others. This was the connection with the Universe and its energies. I could read people since I was born, and I believe that at that age anyone can. There were two reasons why I kept it mostly to myself, until I didn't share it with anyone. One, people didn't understand it, and two; it scared people to know that I could see or hear what they were thinking. Of course, when we keep our gifts hidden, these tend to disappear or just to remain dormant, for which reason there are so many people seeking to return within and finally remember who they are. This is something I never forgot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the age of six, it's safe not to tell an adult that you know they're lying to you, and that you know this because you can feel the energy and also see the words they mutter in a different colour from that of the truth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is the same connection with writing, as it comes from a stream of consciousness. This is something that I didn't need to share with anyone, as it doesn't make any difference to neither the writing, nor the reader, and if I do today is to illustrate how important it is to remain loyal to a gift until we remember. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How we tell the story or how much we buy into the lie of uniformity determines who and what we are and who we're going to be. In my case, both writing and readings are gifts, but I have not forgotten that I am the vessel, that there's a beautiful and touching connection to a higher force that allows me to channel such information, and while I can claim that it comes from me, I can only feel blessed and grateful for what I've been given. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In time I learned to use these gifts in ways that helped me and others, until I managed to sustain myself with who and what I am. <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html">A soul reading is perhaps the best example</a>, as there's always a mirror, which is described accurately. What I see and hear touches parts that people have not seen, nor felt in themselves for a long time, thus creating an amazing healing energy that brings immediate relief to them. It's a honour to be able to show people that they're not invisible, that they don't have to hide any longer. To have the ability to show others a part of their consciousness is touching. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This energetic connection also makes <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/p/services.html">my therapeutic practice</a> incredibly successful, as I can see and feel who people really are, as well as what they're struggling with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Had I bought the uniform and surrender my spirit to its ways, none of this would have been possible. When I see and feel the joy and healing in others for gifting them with what is essentially who and what I am, I can only imagine what a waste it would have been to wear the tie and suit. Surely people can find other ways to heal. At best, I'm just a piece of the puzzle, but what if all the other pieces are wearing the same uniform?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The opposition to what I do or I am continues from family, friends and other social groups, but having reached the point in which what I do is what I am, and who I am, it has little to no effect on me whatsoever. Not that I ever cared much for what others think of me! To reach this point, I have to be stubborn on keeping the belief in my gifts, having gone through hardship and rejection time and again, but when I look back, I would have not liked to cross any of those doors that never opened. Moreover, the doors that didn't open only made it easier to get to where I am. In fact, I'm grateful that they never opened, so I can be here and now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At one point many years ago, I left everything; financial security and the freedom that brings, accommodation, relationships, friendships, and being homeless and broke brought further rejection, but every time I grew stronger, because who I am is built on self-belief, which is a incredibly expansive energy that comes along with the people I need, the places I have to visit and the rewards that are meant for me. However little or much I have, it's a life of abundance, colourful and wild. Being wild is a necessary step every day, as it is to jump from one leap of faith to another. Many were left behind. Others didn't make it, as it was not meant to be. From sadness to joy, all emotions are experienced in the way to freedom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being authentic is love, self-respect and love. Do not let anyone take that away from you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do not be distracted by my experience. The courage, love and self-respect necessary to be your most authentic self is in everyone, regardless of what you've heard or being told. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">From the moment someone decides to be authentic and true to themselves, one can only be a better person, caring less about what others do and more about what we do. There are forces around that move to bring whatever is necessary in order to succeed, and if joy and abundance doesn't come earlier, it's only because because because we don't know better, that we still don't trust the magic of the Universe. What I know from experience is that we dictate our future with the decisions we make now. What makes a difference is the path we choose to walk, and to know that we're on the right track one only needs to follow the immediate feeling. If it feels good, you're one step closer to being who you really are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And my uniform? Well, I'm sure someone else bought it. If you're reading this, it's unlikely that you bought it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Be authentic, play with it and have fun with it. If it's not fun, you might have to walk in a different direction. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;" /><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-2203145183513173492018-02-04T17:26:00.001-08:002018-02-05T05:39:04.974-08:00Male Libido, Intimacy And Good Or Bad Sex.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If there's one positive aspect about the <b>#MeToo</b> movement, that is the fact that it's raising questions that society has either ignored or considered taboo for centuries. This is followed by the increasing <b>courage</b> to speak up about important matters that remained dormant within the narrative of silence. These are questions opening a new dialogue, and with it, awareness and solutions that have always been there, but that willingly or not, people did not dare to speak of. However simple the matter is, breaking silence is not easy. Breaking silence taboos such as <b>sexuality</b>, <b>intimacy</b> or <b>sexual misconduct </b>or rape, is even more difficult. We're currently facing an extraordinary opportunity to create a new narrative through a dialogue that includes all, far from <b>patriarchal</b> patterns of belief and behaviour. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The sudden wave of awareness has brought shame, not only due to the misconduct of many men, -and some women- but to what up to this day it seemed to be a complete lack of awareness on what consensual sex is. There might be many grey areas in what consensual sex may be, but what is obvious, and it has been throughout, is that, the comfort, safety and sexual pleasure of women have been suppressed, while male satisfaction seemed to be a must, often resorting to coercive methods to achieve climax. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The consequences are devastating for all, in ways that do not meet the eye, but most of it has been buried under invisible coats of shame and silence. Not speaking about it doesn't make it go away. It's an undeniable fact that most things that have not been spoken have not been said because they're true. To remain in silence implicitly contributes to perpetuate the lies against the human spirit. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's debatable to what extent anyone can claim ignorance or, if it has been all along a matter of convenience to coerce people, in order to reach climax. Everyone has enough energetic awareness to realise when a situation feels wrong or uncomfortable to put an end to it. If pleasure is not mutual, sex can't be good. Both, men and women use this subterfuge in order to get what they want. It's unfortunate the number of sexual tales that men do like to share with their peers are about female domination, servitude and submission spoken with a contemptible schmuckness that shows the satisfaction in manipulating others during sex.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lack of dialogue and misinformation dehumanised people, separating us from emotions, intimacy and natural sexual pleasures by creating a cloud of guilt, shame and blame that had control of society for centuries. It does explain the over-sexualisation of everything for commercial purposes, which prolongs the agony of the denaturalisation of the human being and the belief that climax can't be reached. You can go window shopping, but you can't have what you want. It deshumanises human beings further, as one becomes the buyer, the other, the object of desire.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The over-sexualisation of everything is another form of control, and most people are buying into it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Money and power come into place. In the mind, that is! Those fortunate enough to produce a large sum of money live under the illusion of having the power to get anything they want, including sex, even love. In a society that has invested all its efforts in appointing a determined status in relation to what one has or owns, it's not surprising that people are seduced by such a false belief. Wealth buys better housing, better education, a better life, but a</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ttraction exist whether there's money or not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The problem has different roots dating back to centuries ago. These are energies that live hidden and deeply ingrained in the human psyche, the belief that what we have is who we are. In both, men and women. But this is not the only issue we're facing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Traditionally men have been encouraged to separate from feelings and emotions. Men are supposed to embody a toughen-up archetype that has only served the needs of patriarchal society as a form of control, and the defines what we men are not. While toughening up the heart hardens and closes, disallowing feelings and emotions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are two different articles on this blog dealing with upbringing and education for those who want to explore this issue further: Balancing energies: <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/07/balancing-energies-restoring-male.html">Restoring male energy and raising female energy,</a> and <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/04/men-and-emotions-legacy-of-patriarchy.html">Men and emotions: The legacy of patriarchy.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While it doesn't affect all men, it's the common train in the majority. The inability to connect with our own feelings and emotions it does have an effect on the ability to connect freely, without boundaries with the feelings of others. It's an energetic trap, as we're deprived of most basic energetic tools that allows us to connect and understand others such as, empathy or compassion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The inability to connect and explore with feelings and emotions is not the only problem. As boys are instructed to take on the more responsible and obsolete roles of the bread winner; or the long gone hunter, we also stop and forget to play, affecting flexibility and movement. We become dead serious, tense or completely paralysed. Thus men are lacking in some of the essential components needing in love, relationships and sex. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How does this affect the outcome of sex?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the difficulties in understanding all these concepts is the subtlety of the consequences men face as a result of such disconnection, is the effects that have in communication skills and abilities. Men neither see, nor feel them. From then on, relationships and sex become a learning curb in which obvious mistakes are made. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Lack of dialogue</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lack of dialogue neglects sexual education or any kind of openness when it comes to sex. Something as natural to the human being becomes taboo, forbidden and in the case of boys a life mission until we get rid of the stickiest tag of all while growing up: virginity. Men and other more experienced boys make it worse by teasing younger boys when they're obviously not sexually active. Teasing comes along with shame, the feeling that they're not enough. Once the idea is planted in the mind, having the first sexual experience becomes an obsessive goal, and any girl or woman, a target.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The separation from feelings and emotions creates dissociation from the body; meaning that we live in our heads. This makes it difficult to explore sensuality and intimacy. Dissociation also causes men to focus and confuse sex and intimacy with the male orgasm, making sexual satisfaction the only concern. It's easier for a man to ejaculate than for a woman to reach an orgasm, therefore, men constantly finish their business, while women are expected to wait until a better time. For this reason, many men do make little or no effort in procuring women with an orgasm. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the process of growing up, men also separate from the ability to play. Playfulness is especially important in courting and intimacy. However, as men are educated to be direct and practical, there's little room for either playfulness or sensuality, which also happen to be essential elements in foreplay. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A boy's urge to remove the virgin tag from their shoulders can lead to use direct and practical ways to end with the 'estigma'. Of course, boys and men evolve in their sexual practice learning from and interacting with their partners, but the way to approach sex can be formulaic. If the idea that women do not always reach an orgasm or that they don't do at all is a prevalent belief, the conditions for bad sex are set, and she may never reach climax during that relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If there's something important to be aware about the male libido is that it has been coerced and suppressed. Both, men and women have been taught to be ashamed of their sexuality and natural impulses; with guilt and blame and stereotypes. It's natural for the human being to rebel against what suffocates the human spirit, as it is the war against sexual energy or the shaming of our bodies. As boys grow up and begin to experiment with sex, there's a certain air of freedom in the intimacy with another person in what it feels a clandestine act. Having no reference to follow, boys experiment with sex to relieve their urges, creating unhealthy patterns that serve the purpose, and as they work, boys continue practicing the same habits, having no healthy options to compare. Of course, not every first sexual encounter is a tragedy. Not all men or boys have been separated from emotions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another fact that the #MeToo movement has unveiled is how men are coming to realise these unhealthy patterns, as it is coercive sex or lack of consent. Everybody, both, boys and girls, men and women should grow up with a clear understanding of these boundaries and a healthy approach to entering someone else's personal space, especially regarding to sexual intercourse. Patriarchy and tradition caused the damaged by suppressing sexuality and intimacy, but it's up to each individual to take responsibility for their actions and contribute to a new wave of education out of the classroom based on the wisdom of the collective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't help the fact that women make excuses for men in the name of love when they under-perform, and if they've never known better, it's possible that it's accepted as normal, which is another form of the submission and suppression of women.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The lack of dialogue in sexuality, affects the ability to express and explore sexuality in open and healthy ways that would undoubtedly contribute to improve the relationship through intimacy. This lack of openness creates poor boundaries, which can lead to poor or bad sex. At this point it's important to consider that a young woman who's going through a negative first sexual experience or simply a number of unfulfilling sexual encounters is likely to develop poor boundaries or to dislike sex completely. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When sexuality is experienced negatively from the beginning, people develop fear of intimacy, and sex becomes just another practical act in which a man might feel relieved, but not necessarily satisfied. There's a great difference between both. It goes as far and deep as many women refusing to be pleasured, with an act as sensual as oral sex. And as there's no openness, there's no intimacy, just sex while the heart closes down further and the soul takes refuge in places to never be seen again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The male orgasm is also considered a 'must' by many men, as it's 'easier' to reach, which can lead to more coercive methods, even rape within the relationship. There's no doubt that the collective male libido is toxic and out of control, which doesn't mean that every man it toxic. The healthy ones are numerous. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Boys will be boys.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There seems to be a general confusion about the male libido, which is mostly associated to biology. Boys will be boys echoes across the low level of collective consciousness. There are many factors that have an effect on the male libido, and that while they affect biology, such as diet, alcohol, drugs, -hormones, vitamins, proteins,- beliefs or simply everything that we put in our bodies: TV or reading. Playfulness, sensuality and intimacy also play an important part in the male libido, and by default, the female libido. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When male orgasm becomes a must, the patience to explore all the different dimensions that can make of sex an <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2015/08/sacred-sex-honouring-heart-body-soul.html">incredibly sacred experience </a>is limited and often non-existent. While every woman is different, it's actually fairly easy to please a woman sexually, although there is not an unique method, nor a formula that serves all. Leading a woman to orgasm has to be seen as an organic interaction between two people giving each other and enjoying an amazing experience together. The more she enjoys it, the more the man will enjoy it too. There's an amazing spectrum of possibility, intimacy and pleasure beyond the male orgasm that begins during foreplay. A man can reach an orgasm without actually ejaculating. An experience that every should and could have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The male libido can be trained to serve a healthier purpose and enhanced the sexual act for the benefit of everyone involved. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For this reason, it's important to develop other parts of the self, such as playfulness, sensuality and intimacy. There are unexplored territories filled with extraordinary treasures that most men and women are missing, because the dialogue on sexuality, sensuality or intimacy have been non-existent. To explore them fully is a long journey ahead. The answers lie in restoring the ability to explore feelings and emotions in order to do so, which is a subject that will be discussed in future articles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The ideal in a relationship is that two people can open up and freely express their desires, what they like, what they want, to find the patience that allows the tempos to introduce new sexual practices if needed or wanted, which in time turn into a healthy sexual relationship that moves beyond automatisms that can lead to boredom in a couple. The sexual act with another person has no limits, as it expands with the knowledge and feeling of the elements mentioned previously: sensuality, playfulness, foreplay and intimacy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Intimacy and sexuality can be a terr</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ifying field full of triggers for many people, and while solutions might not be easy to find immediately, it is possible to find them and solve many of the problems that thus far has affected the freedom to explore and enjoy sex in its full expression. Sex, like everything else in a human being is limitless. One just needs to know how to get there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, male libido or men are not to blame alone for bad sex or the unhealthy approach to sexual intercourse between men and women. Not all men are the same and there are in fact a large number of healthy ones that do not belong in these toxic parameters. It's important to consider other factors that affect both men and women, such a upbringing, religious education, childhood experiences sometimes tarnish with sexual abuse, education, family and peers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everything that enters our bodies and minds or that's imposed on us does have an effect on sex and intimacy. But sex is not a myth, and neither is intimacy. Everyone has a wonderful opportunity to explore these spaces in the healthiest ways and to have amazing experiences. The lack of dialogue of important matters that hold the limitlessness of the human being to ransom is coming to an end. It's necessary to open up, to stand up and speak up. Just like love, sex and intimacy require an act of rebellion, and so does to break this long held silence, so as to speak the truth beyond the comfort zone. And that's a real leap of faith. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSWseSY0mQzZs4yjFI7udwCauzP7Gb98qPEJ5LItou_MDLedrDOUIqaOPtWavS_9T-DPn69jk4PQuGr6HT-mnHFk8Yg0BhS7rHkTJMEjZ7hot1M-85kKbC7tEbJXH0s1I7iX6-C2Ro_w/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSWseSY0mQzZs4yjFI7udwCauzP7Gb98qPEJ5LItou_MDLedrDOUIqaOPtWavS_9T-DPn69jk4PQuGr6HT-mnHFk8Yg0BhS7rHkTJMEjZ7hot1M-85kKbC7tEbJXH0s1I7iX6-C2Ro_w/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;">For soul readings, <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/soul-readings-immediate-shift-in-energy.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">visit this link.</a><span style="font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify;"> or contact </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: justify; text-decoration-line: none;">me directly</a> </span></span>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-22110476906709551282018-01-21T12:26:00.000-08:002018-01-21T12:26:00.689-08:00When Family or Friends Sabotage Your Life Purpose.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Family and friends</b> are the hardest people to please for obvious reasons. In their minds, and sometimes in their hearts, -not always- they've created high expectations for you to accomplish that might be hard or impossible to meet. The majority of people want safety and <b>abundance</b> for their loved ones, but this is not always the case. For this reason, the pressure that they can put on others can be overwhelming, as well as having devastating consequences on them. In order to force such goals, whether consciously or not, they'll resort to <b>psychological manipulation. Guilt</b>, <b>shame</b> or blame being the most common tools. The urge to control someone might go as far as physical abuse. This phenomena is common among the <b>spiritual community</b>, but it's by no means exclusive to it. Someone might decide to pursue a career as healer or coach using their training and natural gifts, but they might also choose to become dancers, actors or simply travel the world, professions that not always provide a financial or physical safety net. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Too often, family and friends interfere with someone's life purpose for several reasons, but the two that link them all are: fears of lack or scarcity and the inability to examine one's own emotions. If we all were capable of facing and processing our own demons and emotions, everyone would mind their own business without interfering in the lives of others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A life mission can be clear from an early age or present itself in later years. The call has always been within. Whether someone remembers from the beginning or they experience a sudden awakening, this person has most likely gone through hard times to express and consolidate their identity from the moment of birth. Throughout, we'll meet, both, friends that support or won't truly understand our call. Not only this, they'll make a point of letting us know. Remaining true to the calling might be harder than one might wish. Whatever the reasons are, everything is an illusion.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everyone has a call, a life mission.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every day more and more people are awakening to the reality that this world is in need of more creative expression and new solutions that separate from the obsolete patriarchal agenda from both, the individual and the collective, as well as deeper connection with spirituality. When someone feels the call and follows accordingly, their inner compass would take them to separate and challenge the norm. Life can turn into a daily battle to remain true to their core. If you're not challenging the status quo, you're might not be connected to your life mission.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Understand spirituality as self-knowledge, the awareness of someone's passions, desires, beliefs and motives. No candles, nor incense required. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first challenges appear when children express a different language and vision that blatantly defies the status quo, usually embodied by parents. The vision and language of a child is usually connected to universal wisdom. Almost every child is born with such gift and connection. Children speak with love of the invisible. It's natural in parents to react alarmingly and as they're the first ones to deny the child's truth, they also create doubt. As there's no scientific evidence, nor a physical representation, the first reaction is to suppress a truth that no one, but the child can see or perceive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most parents forgot they once were children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/07/children-invisible-souls-facts-every.html">In response the child tends to withdraw and seek refuge in silence.</a> Not to speak their truth doesn't mean that they child conforms. Silence is the space in which the child analyses challenges, devising new forms of expression to put their word across. When a voice is suppressed, language and expression turns into action. The more one is suppressed, the more expansive and explosive this expression will be. Too soon and too often, these people are called the black sheep. Parents and families are also too quick to tag the child in a futile attempt to control and manipulate them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tagging someone as a the black sheep is an obvious sign of neglect. Energies can be redirected, but first a parent must listen to and hear what their children want.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the saddest truths that devastate the world is the suppression of a child's voice in the name of love until they become and feel invisible. Undoubtedly most parents do their best to raise their children with what they know. Unfortunately most parents struggle to free their children from the moment of birth, claiming them as a possession, and in turn attempting to live their lives through their children. From this moment on, the child's life is no longer about them, but about what their parents want, never about what the child wants. The consequences of such upbringing vary according to individual. However, there are several that can clearly mark the course in someone's life. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Loneliness</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Loneliness can be experienced even before birth. In most cases, parents and relatives already have plans for a child before they're born without knowing who's going to turn up. A child hears in the womb. Parents and adults in general do not consider children people, but inexperienced lesser beings. The arrogance of the adult is to consider themselves experts on life. Arrogance has neither love nor freedom, and without both, life feels less of a life. As a result, adults talk about children and others as if there were not present, usually creating doubts and fear; a sign of true disconnection, as well as of self-importance. The fact that people in general miss, is that children are born with love and freedom. Besides practical matters, there's nothing we can teach children, and there's a lot that adults could learn from them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Loneliness comes from not being heard, not being acknowledged and not being seen. In the name of love and life experience, adults suppress children with worldly, mundane wisdom, trying to teach what they know and what they don't know. It's rare for a parent to admit that they don't know better; that they're still looking for answers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">From here on, an individual feels misunderstood, withdrawing deeper into silence, while at the same time they could be the loudest. The main reason people talk so much, even too much is because they've never been heard, nor understood. <b>Pay attention to the silent people</b>, for in their silence they learn to understand themselves, as well as preserving the innate connection to universal love and wisdom. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Time and again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There will be at least one person in the family heavily invested in creating a cloud of neurosis about someone who's relentlessly following their life mission. The reasons are numerous, but the intention is always the same. For this purpose, they create and spread lies that other people believe without questioning. Even when others are aware of the lie, as time always honours truth, the damage has already being done. The attacks will continue happening throughout life in the same form of manipulation. Character assassination is a narcissist's favourite way to create neurosis, so as to weaken and control others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2018/01/how-your-partner-may-be-sabotaging.html"><br /></a></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2018/01/how-your-partner-may-be-sabotaging.html">This article on sabotaging relationships offers guidance on this subject.</a></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The good news on your high calling.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A high call is an unstoppable force that cannot be defeated by lies, nor manipulation. There is a point in life in which a person has to recognise that as a child, one might have felt undermined, ridiculed, punished, suppressed or silenced in the most abject ways, but that the moment to embrace one's true calling by embodying the true self is a personal choice. You don't need permission from anyone to be yourself or to do what you're here to do. The demons of childhood are not as scary as they used to be, when looked at from the emotional maturity of an adult, and with the eyes of the child. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the obstacles to overcome is that when someone lives with the feeling that they don't have control over their lives since childhood, they might continue identifying themselves as a victim, but not being aware of it. The more someone talks about how we've been treated in the past, the less energy and time is dedicated to personal growth or their inner call. It keeps the veil of illusion opaque and standing between the truth and the lie. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Keep your high calling humble. Having been gifted with talents or with other attributes that other might not have, but that undoubtedly if put to the service of others, would benefit you and the world, are meant to complement and support the collective. Without the assistance of others throughout, even those who might have mistreated you, you wouldn't be here ready to make a difference. At some point, you will also have to find the courage to ask for forgiveness to the people you've wrong, as well as to forgive yourself. That will keep you humble. That, and to remember that everyone has a life purpose. One is not more important than the other. If the collective is failing to find healthy solutions is due to the fact that individuals are too absorbed looking at our own reflections in the water. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The trap. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a time in which parents, friends and family realise that they might have been mistaken. Truth cannot be hidden forever. Shame and guilt inevitably falls upon them. It's a crucial moment in which someone takes responsibility for their actions, or continue with the drama and manipulation. Accepting truth is a difficult step for most people, as it means that they might have been making the same mistake for years. Again, the inability to process emotions makes it easier to continue blaming someone else, refusing to take any responsibility. Some people can't just admit that they're wrong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An apology cannot forced. People need to gather the courage to do so, and that takes time; sometimes a lifetime. A life mission can be accomplished without that apology. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They might appear confident in their comfort zone, constantly throwing harmful arrows at the self-esteem of others, but deep within, they suffer the most. Energetically, avoiding truth is one of the most violent stances one can adopt, as such negative energies keep accumulating within their body. An irate attack on someone might give the impression of relief, but this is a momentary illusion. Fear grows within, further separating that person from their core. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As these attacks come from loved ones, the lie and defamation hurts. We don't embrace truth for the sake of others, but to increase the sense of personal freedom and love. Family and friends time and again, despite arguments and endless disputes seeking the truth tend to move in the opposite direction in a futile attempt to confirm and validate their truths about others. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">A way out. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">At some point we have to free ourselves from the web of lies, which ironically we keep validating with actions, believing and adopting the limitations that have been imposed on us. The repetition of a lie turns into the noise of the world. The longer and harder we try to fight it, the louder we hear it from others. From then on, we keep meeting mirrors that reflect our insecurities. There are too many people out there thriving on the belief that in order to feel powerful they must put others down, and they won't have any problem in perpetuating such lies. But only a fool would believe their own lies.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">While it's good to release energies and frustrations talking to others, the common mistake most people make is to try to be heard or acknowledged by the people who inflicted the pain in the first place. This might never happen. Recently I published a blog post on listening to <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/12/listening-to-and-assisting-in-healing.html">others in order to assist them in their healing</a>, with didn't get much response from the public, which in turn shows that the world is in much need to talk, but listening is something that others do. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">The answer to this is simple in principle, but one of utmost difficulty in practice. It begins with the way we talk to ourselves. Inner conversations that no one listens to, but ourselves, repeating again and again what we couldn't when we had the opportunity, only creates more discomfort, strengthening the web of lies. At this point, we're the ones nurturing and feeding such energy. We have to be careful with the words, thoughts and ideas we create, especially during inner conversations, as we are emitting, but are also the only receivers. It's a vicious circle. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">It's important to change the language we use. This is also a simple process, but too long to detail in this article. Language creates spells.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Everyone knows their own truth. Do more of that. Do not fall in the trap of trying to prove everyone else wrong, to show them who you are once you're successful. You'll never be successful with this frame of mind, as it comes from resentment and possibly a deep desire for revenge. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Focus your energy, time and efforts on doing more of who you are, to improve yourself, and dedicate your life to what you're really good at. If you're a writer, write; if a dancer, dance. Do everything and whatever it takes that makes you come alive and experience a sense of personal freedom without the oppression of what you've been told. What matters is what you say about yourself. There's no better way to speak up than actions. Dance, write, laugh, play free from limitations imposed by the past. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Expansion only takes one step further, one step that you've most likely have not yet allowed yourself to give because you're still functioning under the premise that you need the permission of those who tormented you. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">If in need to talk about your trauma, seek expert support. A friend, provided that they know how to listen would suffice, but when trauma is deep, hiring a professional might be more appropriate for best results. <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/p/services.html">In my therapeutic practice with clients</a> I find that listening is one of the most powerful tools for healing, as they already have the answers, but often they're not aware of it. Pointing out to them brings wonderful realisations, release of energies and relief. Listening allows to understand and interpret what the speaker might not be able to hear. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">If the conversation continues being the same and constantly coming from the same source, at one point one must consider to cut off the relationship, whether this is with parents, family or friends. Often the most powerful voice is distance, silence and absence. When the target is out of reach, these people don't know what to do with themselves. Let them throw character assassinations from the narcissistic pedestals and curse at their TV sets. Let them curse, but do not forget that they probably did and gave you their best, and that even though they might be following the same patterns and habits, everything they're doing is a call for love. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Your path is everything that serves your purpose. Anything that doesn't serve this purpose also deserves the same treatment, a loving and kind farewell. The answers to your life mission are in that book you've never written, those tables you never built, that class you never took. Everything else is the noise of the world. Who are you listening to?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">You're one leap of faith away from everything you want. We either invest in ourselves or keep contributing to the unhealthy ways of the world. A life purpose is more powerful when supported and driven by love. This you already know. These are just words that may serve as guidance, but what's really important is that you listen to yourself and follow your heart.</span></span><br />
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-37659779478891687442018-01-10T10:49:00.003-08:002018-01-16T21:11:50.768-08:00How Your Partner Could Be Sabotaging The Relationship And Controlling You.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV97hLu9q6tRBgS3XQbfEHhoWWeZ40Jupd5mUY-Irob5mUUC5mK3Z7w6QwBlOve2fLpU3cirBYs9DAmWSNu8mRXfWOAsBCg5ZQGlemdFlvXN5MuCe_BWWeHo_kh5vbVBmeVXvUpNvW1Dc/s1600/sabotage+relationship+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="334" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV97hLu9q6tRBgS3XQbfEHhoWWeZ40Jupd5mUY-Irob5mUUC5mK3Z7w6QwBlOve2fLpU3cirBYs9DAmWSNu8mRXfWOAsBCg5ZQGlemdFlvXN5MuCe_BWWeHo_kh5vbVBmeVXvUpNvW1Dc/s640/sabotage+relationship+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not every person beginning a <b>relationship</b> is ready for it, as not everyone does it in <b>love</b>. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whatever the reasons may be, the signs are visible from the beginning. Once the signs are identified, there are two possible responses to the situation. One, to face them immediately with the issues that arise, discuss it and propose a line of work to solve the problems that would undoubtedly create tension and <b>heartbreak</b>. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The alternative to this is </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">separation. </b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The consequences of remaining in a relationship with someone that's deliberately <b>sabotaging</b> it can be devastating. The longer someone remains, the deeper and more hurtful the heartbreak. Someone is not ready to commit to a relationship, however young or inexperienced they might be, they'd be masters in the art of<b> sabotage. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Never underestimate someone's ability to sabotage love, nor the irreparable damage that they can cause. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Many people drag someone into a relationship in order to avoid loneliness. For them, it's better to be with just anyone, rather than to face life alone. It gives them a sense of false safety and a boost to their self-esteem that they can't get by themselves. It's unfortunate that in the mind of many people, being in a relationship is also associated to status or that someone is not enough or lovable while single. We're enough whether we're in a relationship or single. Thinking that a relationship make us complete may have its origins in childhood and probably comes from parents.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fear of love or fear of intimacy are two other reasons why someone would definitely not be ready. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the issue is fear of love or intimacy it's possible that they feel and are indeed in love, -not necessarily,- but this would not prevent them from sabotaging the relationship, nor their imperative need to control their partner. In this case, their motives would be mostly unconscious, which doesn't make the experience less excruciating. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The most cynical begin meaningless relationships already in the knowing that it that it has no future. These are temporary relationships that serve to buy time until the right person appears. In their minds there's the image of the perfect lover, and would drop their partners like a sack of bricks without notice, although they would have already expressed their discontent in the relationship. These type of partner is easy to recognise, as they'll constantly talk about their attraction to other men or women. Often this is expressed with comments or infatuation for famous people. The fact that a celebrity might not be available, it doesn't make it safe to be in a relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/10/lust-versus-love-do-we-lust-or-do-we.html">Lust also serves to establish a large number of relationships</a>, if only for a while. In lust, one learns to pretend that they're in love. The relationship will last for as long as infatuation or physical attraction does. The relationship would probably be passionate and intense. If lust is the determining factor, in time they will find a substitute.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In all cases, these people are driven by a strong narcissistic streak with complete disregard for the feelings of others. Their arrogance, disguised in a rhetoric of confidence is both, blatantly obvious and insulting. Perhaps the worst feeling comes from learning that their sudden confidence and arrogance is built on the love, kindness and attention they receive from you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When someone is limited by fear of love or intimacy, it's likely that they're also experiencing fear of abandonment. In this case, it's possible that love is a strong element in the relationship, and while they're loving and caring, and your feelings are also important to them, your partners inability to deal with their own feelings and emotions would lead them to sabotage the relationship from the beginning. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also possible that during this </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">relationship you feel most loved and taken care of, interrupted by sudden episodes of neglect that do not make sense, and even talks or threats of ending it for no apparent reason. This type of lover, whether male or female would have terrible problems in dealing with and understanding their own emotions.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the book <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reuniting-Twin-Flame-That-Away/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1515522411&sr=1-1&refinements=p_27%3AManel+Blanco">'Reuniting With The Twin Flame' </a>there's an extensive account on understanding the dynamics in relationships, including the issues described and why some reactions or the end of the relationship might occur for no logical reason and what steps one can take in order to solve these issues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first signs are likely to appear even before the relationship begins. They'd state that they're not really interested in a relationship per se, that they don't want a relationship with you or would flag the latest polyamory fad so common these days, so as not to commit to one person only. At the same time they'll contradict their statements, seeking your attention and spending time in your company because the truth is, that they're interest. Admitting that they're interested would put them in a weaker position, whereas creating the illusion of rejection plays with the confidence and self-esteem of others, prompting more interest in their persona. Keeping you on your toes by creating a relationship where you feel unstable gives them a sense of power, and in which someone finds themselves constantly chasing their lover. By biting the bait one enters a relationship in which their partner will push all their buttons in order to gain power and have control. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Controlling partners use all sort of arguments and forceful truths to challenge the character and personality of their lovers. Often their only argument is a harshly expressed opinion lacking in reasoning or truth-base to put down someone's beliefs and feelings, while refusing to accept their partner's personal opinions. They might be dismissive of a lifetime passion for this purpose, thus becoming unsupportive, what in turn creates a sense of loneliness, being neither heard, nor understood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Making a partner jealous by talking and giving a detailed account of past relationships or keeping past lovers close as 'friends' is used as a warning sign to say that you're not the only one. At the same time, they'll be overly friendly with people who shows them affection and attention. They'd let their partners know of all possible suitors, so as to express how fortunate they're being the chosen one, while at the same time opening up to the possibility to start a relationship with someone else if they're dissatisfied. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In social situations, they're likely to be friendly and joyful with others, but they'll be dismissive of or direct their anger at their partners for no reason. This is a way to exclude their partners, creating an energy around that is perceived by others and shows that there's something wrong with the relationship, which in turn would attract more suitors. They need for attention is endless and bottomless. Nothing or no one can satisfy them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A toxic partner gets angry often, blaming their lovers when something doesn't go according to plan. A typical situation is when a couple has decided to go out or participate on an activity together. They'd leave all arrangements to their partners. In this case, the sabotage can come in many forms. Being late, even if it's only for five minutes will trigger them to unleash an over dramatic anger.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anger and criticism would come easy for the most trivial things; wasting any ingredients while cooking, not cleaning something properly or eating too fast or too slow, while stating which is the right way to do everything. While these episodes might seem trivial and of small importance, such attitude works as a drop on someone's self-esteem and confidence. In time, their partners would be at their mercy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The reason why it's important to recognise the signs and tackle them from the beginning is that loss of self-esteem and confidence leads to people not being their most authentic self, while functioning on survival mood. Vital energy drops and so someone's ability to perform at a healthy and vibrant level. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This part is not to be taken lightly, as when vital energy, self-esteem and confidence are low, a partner will then target character and personality. Anyone in this situation will not recognise themselves. The sense of loneliness while being around their partners would be overwhelming. Vital energy might return as one is alone, at which point one might regain some of most of their thirst for life and will to thrive. However, this will be met again and again with a partner's dismissal, as at this point, they've probably lost all respect for and belief in you. You're no longer the person they fell in love with, but a shadow, and of course, you'd be the one to blame for it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't take long for someone to feel weak and unattractive, at which point, they'd have no arguments left to convince their partners that being together is a good option, nor they'd have the energy to display their best qualities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Behind doors this type of people will show their true colours, being sad, tense, depressed, , or angry, but this is a picture that only their partners will be able to see. On social occasions, they transform into butterflies, as if nothing happened, while you might continue absorbed by the last incident, dispute or criticism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They'd also end the relationship for no reason, arguing that it's not going to work or that this is not what they were looking for. Everything is about them. Anything that remotely upsets them would be your fault and they'd surely let you know. Ending the relationship even if it's for a few hours gives me even more control, as their partner is using all their energy to bring back the relationship to a functioning level. There will be break ups and reconciliations again and again, until one of them finally sees the toxicity of the situation and decides to end.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With mild, but recurrent criticism on what someone values most, is easy to build a web of lies that can make someone lose their will to live. It's a slow character assassination. Views on criticism changes, as when their flaws are pointed out, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">they'd get most offended. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's essential to tackle all these problems at the early stages of the relationship, as if prolonged, this type of emotional battering can only lead to the end of the relationship or to affect someone's mental health. Someone who's exposed to this kind of treatment within a relationship might find it difficult to function in the world once it's finished. Unknowingly, the relationship was a slow path to heartbreak, what makes someone feel devastated and disconnected from the self. The path to recovery after experiencing one of these relationships can be long and arduous, and in some cases, the effects might last a lifetime. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sabotaging the relationship and trying to control others is abuse, regardless of what others or the world may think of this person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everyone has certain need for control, so as to establish some sort of safety within a relationship, but there are limits. This can be accomplished through dialogue and shadow work. While the portrait of the person described above can be viewed as awful, they might still be loving and caring people that are not aware of their traumas or what causes them to behave in such ways. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everyone has a preconceived idea of what relationships should be like, never considering the unknown element, which is their partner. Trying to create someone's perfect vision of a relationship without their partner's input is one sure way to remove freedom from the equation. Where there's no freedom, there's no love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's important to treat these situations with love, kindness and compassion for both in order to establish a dialogue that creates a narrative that can be written by both partners. An aggressive approach that denounces certain types of behaviour would only lead one of the partners to close down or to leave the relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Relationships do take work and sacrifice, as well as love, but it's essential to remember, that it has to come from both partners. When only one of the partners makes sacrifices and uses all their energy to do the work, the relationship is imbalanced and would lead nowhere. Making sure of this is an act of self-love. However bleak this type of relationship might seem, if there's love and fun, it's always easier to overcome all these obstacles. One of the problems in <a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/02/twin-flames-and-shadow-work.html">dealing with issues within relationships and shadow work</a> is that people do forget to have fun or to be creative. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you recognise these signs in a current relationship or a past one, do remember that your partner might be reacting to the trauma created by a past relationship. It's not about bringing them down, but understanding and love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Related articles:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2014/10/running-away-from-relationships-what.html">Running away from relationships: what happened next.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblancoreadings.blogspot.com.es/2017/02/the-problem-with-running-away-from.html">The problem with running away from relationships: shadow work</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">The book <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reuniting-Twin-Flame-That-Away/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1515609456&sr=1-1&refinements=p_27%3AManel+Blanco">'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' </a>is now available on Amazon.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Soul-Readings-549554925162329/"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> this page</span></a><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /></span></div>
Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-56013328940479141972018-01-06T17:31:00.000-08:002018-01-06T17:31:07.344-08:00Making Your Life And The World A Better Place<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkeMy1eZvOxnhqNPLVxX5RYklirJUeg2Db46GdNi8oiiJ5nNWK_g59ZvTtdRSAJNIIuwpiZgjUVR3Ajs5rJOLzueiyJhb-MjrfkgqRho3OfV7I5omuJseR_bHpq5E7yh1t-J7IhQwdAyE/s1600/Pause+make+your+life+and+world+a+better+place+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="332" data-original-width="960" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkeMy1eZvOxnhqNPLVxX5RYklirJUeg2Db46GdNi8oiiJ5nNWK_g59ZvTtdRSAJNIIuwpiZgjUVR3Ajs5rJOLzueiyJhb-MjrfkgqRho3OfV7I5omuJseR_bHpq5E7yh1t-J7IhQwdAyE/s640/Pause+make+your+life+and+world+a+better+place+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are many people that at looking at the state of the world feel the unstoppable need to fix it or 'save' it. However well intended such impulse may be, 'saving the world' can be detrimental in most cases. Exhaustion is one of the symptoms that someone might not have the right approach.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It's too common a belief among the <b>spiritual</b> community or the so-called <b>awakened</b> or <b>conscious</b> people. People feel called to save the world by any means necessary. In order to do so, people neglect the most important factor that could make their dream a reality: themselves. Eventually exhaustion and the feeling of scarcity consequently lead people to want to save themselves instead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Focusing on external negativity can only increase a negative feeling within. The realisation of personal powerlessness follows. Personal flaws and limitations become visible, and at this</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> point, what we're really looking for is to save ourselves. Whether we admit it or not, there's an expectation attached to the intention. A return wanted for our efforts. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's not possible to change anything while feeling negative or lacking clarity. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Negativity can and has to be transformed with action. Let's begin at home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you get exhausted because you're trying to save the world, it's because you're trying to save yourself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The concept is paradoxical. No one is under any obligation to make the world a better place, while at the same time, everyone has the responsibility to leave it in a better state that they found it. Everyone also has a responsibility towards others, here and now. The latter is a concept that most people have yet to realise. Kindness costs nothing. Let's begin there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What we do to others we do to ourselves. Change the order and we're left with; what we do to ourselves we do to others. Treating ourselves to a reality of lack, that's all we can offer: the lack of anything that's being experienced and felt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Good intentions alone don't suffice for this purpose. Usually, the less material means one has, the more they feel obliged to save the world, while the wealthier majority do nothing or little to promote changes that set solid basis to create a world that provides for everyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With this in mind, people wanting to make a difference end leading lives of self-sacrifice, as well as being burdened by lack, which in turn only leads to resentment and to perceive more negativity from the world and others. One cannot stand alone on this mission to improve the world. The world doesn't need to be saved. We do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you believe that you made an agreement with the Universe to save the world before birth and that in order to do so you have to sacrifice everything and everyone, change that agreement now. Sign a new one that serves to improve your life and sign it today. Give yourself the permission to experience and feel such freedom. It's not a matter of turning your back on responsibility, but to be responsible for your own well-being and happiness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The answers and solutions to this dichotomy come through community and unity. It's not for you to do it alone. The main problem is that as individuals we still have not understood that in unity we're stronger, and that only through it we can solve every issue that is not presented as impossible feats. Most people are still burdened by the belief of lack of abundance which translates in selfish attitudes to provide for themselves only. Even when we have nothing we can continue giving to ourselves, others and the world, but society has been built on the importance the material, making it increasingly more difficult to change this belief, as if owning nothing or little was who and what we are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The truth is that everyone is gifted in one way or another and that within everyone holds treasures that if shared with the world could make this world an extraordinary place to live in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your responsibility with the Universe and the world is to take care of yourself first, to build your life on healthy and abundant choices: physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually and psychologically. Without a solid base, the impact that one can have on the world is small. Living on a constant state of lack, one remains needy, constantly catching up. Not only causes resentment; it's an exhausting way to understand life. Lack is a belief, but so is abundance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's true that small, personal initiatives can and do improve the world and change lives. The examples are many. Anyone has the ability to transform the world, to have a great impact with their actions. But what's the point to sacrifice health, housing and even relationships in order to make this world a better place? It's everyone's responsibility, not only yours. It's essential to find a balance between what we give and what we take.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">People who venture into such initiatives are extremely driven, persistent and do it from a place of knowing. This sense of knowing is essential, and if they're capable of carrying out such feats, it's because that feeling is permanent in them. Working from a sense of hope or believe helps, but might not be enough. They're also people with an incredible ability for sacrifice. It´s a leap of faith in which knowing is the only safety net. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, they sacrifice the unnecessary, not what's essential for their well-being and survival.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More than the lack of material means, what we lack is the permanent sense of knowing. The faith that comes with knowing is as real as the reality that we witness in the world. Perceptions changes when we look at the mirror within, for in its eyes faith, love and abundance always thrive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Try and picture this: No personal comfort, sacrificing personal relationships, romantic or platonic, friendships, even family. Renouncing to a career, jobs, stable accommodation, money and even jeopardising health or personal safety, also on occasions risking your life or your freedom. In such cases, the actions are taken to a different level. The more we risk, the more we get. Sometimes the result is losing it all, but people who manage to live like this always get up again, dust the dirt from their backs and have another go at it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Try and imagine standing in the street alone having lost everything and knowing that everything is going to be OK. You don´t know how, but you know that your inner compass will take you there. It's not by luck that certain people always land on their feet; it's a matter of knowing. In knowing all the right circumstances would appear to get through whatever obstacles appear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While we're preoccupied about the next meal or how to pay rent, it might be difficult, if not impossible to remain in a place of knowing unless this has been a way of living and one is used to it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's an element of needing to be liked and praised by others attached to such behaviour, as if by caring and doing, others will have a better opinion of us. Having been active for years on social media and interacting with thousands of people online and face to face, I know that this isn't always the case. No matter what we do, how well we do it or how good intentions may be, there's always going to be the one, and most likely several others that won't approve of what we do. More to it, they'll let us know, and not exactly in kind ways. It's their fear. Don't buy into it. If what you're doing brings you a sense of peace and well-being, continue doing so.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For as long as we depend on the validation of others, one is always going to second guess themselves. No one is ever good enough to satisfy the needs of everyone. People are too comfortable in their comfort zones. Anything new that may represent a slight challenge to their beliefs is a threat to them. As they have no defense, they attack. Proof that their comfort zone is flaky, lacking in conviction. What´s attacked is your pursuit of freedom, which ironically it´s viewed from self-built prisons. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What's missing in most people is the ability to pause and question their beliefs. Society has reached a stage in which everyone is on a defensive mode in order to preserve the truth they've believed so far. It's not easy to change a belief, as it causes pain and suffering. It cannot be that the world is a mess and that everyone is doing the right thing at the same time. It doesn't make sense. People are facing constant challenges on their beliefs, as global energy changes towards a shift on consciousness, in which everyone is faced with old demons and truths they've suppressed for too long. People no longer know why they feel the way the feel or where these emotions come from, as they might not be aware that truth is an unstoppable force that would cause all sorts of mayhem until it's revealed. There's no place we can hide from the truth. The sooner we accept this and embrace who we really are, the sooner we'll achieve inner peace and then with the world.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>When someone lives with a sense of knowing, there´s no need to go around proving others wrong.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Going out of our way trying to prove someone else wrong is indicative of having too much time in our hands to see, to judge and voice discontent, which may imply that they're not doing much with their lives. When we're fully engaged in our life purpose, it feels good and one simply doesn't have the time to go around seeing fault in others. We do more of what works and might help ourselves and others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of the frustrations that we experience when making this world a better place is to witness that apathy and selfishness of others. It's important to remember that everyone is at a different level of consciousness and that even though people would benefit greatly from what we have to offer, personal development is tied to timing. No one learns a different way to live or behave before their time. Often people have to continue making the same mistakes time and again until they have enough of their own self-sabotage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Be a good person, but above all, be good to yourself. Improve your life and reach clarity. Negative opinions can't have an impact on you then. The point of this approach is to remove the insecurity that comes along with popular validation. Do what you do because it makes you feel great about yourself, not because you want to be liked. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We lead by example. Use determination to make your life a better place, and as it improves gradually and naturally, see the world around you changing. Not just the world, but the quality of people around you. This is the challenge for everyone, to improve ourselves. Choose activities that make your life extraordinary, not forgetting the simple and basic aspects of it, such as finance, health, fitness, employment or friendships. It makes an incredible. We cannot make a difference on the world when we can´t make a difference in our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No one can fix what might be missing in the world if they miss it in themselves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being liked by everyone should be the norm. Unfortunately it's not the prevalent currency in today's society. By seeking the acceptance of others at all costs, we lose authenticity, and the best of ourselves along the way becoming a puppet to other people's wishes. In order to preserve authenticity, one may want to get used to the idea of being disliked, and accept it. Like yourself instead by making your life a beautiful experience. Leading a life that makes you happy, you wouldn't have the</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> time to feel the dislike from others. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Silence is a powerful ally.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Remove all toxic people from your life. Remaining in toxic relationships only brings more of it. It stops growth, as well as having a greater negative impact than what it might seem when we're going through it. Staying in unhealthy relationships or situations is often a matter of convenience, however inconvenient they might be. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Life is adventure and what you make of it. Live it to the full. Sad or not, it's a fact of life that we leave people behind. Sometimes, the sooner the better. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Find activities and people who match your ideal of life, even if this means what it might feel like a long journey through the desert. For this, we explore, go to new places and open up to strangers that in time create friendships. Then and only then one has the opportunity to make a difference to the collective. It's said that "we become like the five people we spend the most time with". Who are you spending time with? and why?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Invest in yourself. Find the means to do so and pay for the best. The list of activities is endless. Whether you're interested in spirituality, personal development or not, there are numerous choices. Life in itself is personal development. Choose those that help you grow and become a better person. Some people may choose a retreat or a yoga class while others would prefer developing practical or technical skills. How you grow is always your choice. Learning to cook is as spiritual as attending a meditation class. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In order to grow, one often needs to seek guidance from others. There are many professionals that can provide it. Money and costs are always a touching matter, especially among the 'spiritual' community, as money is still seen as a symbol of corruption and evil. Money has nothing to do with any human emotion. It's the belief and emotion attached to it, not to money. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When seeking guidance, hire the people who tell you that growth it's possible or that don´t drag you with their services for the next ten years. Personal development takes time and one has to be patient, but reaching a healthy state of being doesn't have to last a lifetime. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The way people spend money and for what purpose is fascinating. It's also a determinant factor in personal development and health. Some people wouldn't invest in their personal development arguing how costly or expensive it is, but won't hesitate to pay for overpriced pizza and beer every weekend. It's as important to consider the value of what we buy, as it is to look as its lasting effects. This is an important fact that's widely overlooked; that the way we spend money is closely associated with someone´s comfort zone. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The way we receive money is also related to our comfort zone, which is most likely linked to personal beliefs and someone's upbringing. If the manifestation is scarcity this is due to the belief that poverty is an honourable place to be. It's not!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We do not invest in ourselves, because we have not been educated to love ourselves. Instead we choose pizza and beer, which might serve to feed immediate needs now, but which we might regret tomorrow. The problem is neither the pizza, nor the beer, but the belief and attitude that sets people on the survival mood that procures for that pizza and that beer so as to go on without further ambition for better days. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a time for pizza and beer, as there's time for any other practice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Years ago I was presented with the opportunity to attend a retreat. As I didn't have the cash to pay for it then, the first reaction was to say no to it. "It's too expensive". I said. And it was expensive considering my finances then. Within a week intuition told me otherwise. It took me a second to change my mind and go for it. Not only by the end of the retreat I already had the money to pay for it, it was one of the best and wisest decisions I made in my life. By the end of a sequence of retreats the money was already in my bank account to pay for the next one. There were no many pizzas or beers, but there was growth and abundance. One added value and growth to my life, the other didn´t. It´s a choice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Retreats, seminars or self-development courses are no different from learning to play an instrument, a new skill, travelling for months to discover new places, people and cultures or acquiring different professional skills that enrich who we are. It applies to everything, from diet or clothing to any other purchase.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are the choices we make.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The problem with wanting to save the world while we can't help ourselves is that makes life extremely uncomfortable, as the energy that is required to energise ourselves is usually wasted on ventures that lead nowhere. It's not that housing, a job or our finances might not be the best -we don't need the luxury-, but that we forgot and renounced to our dreams. The longer we choose to live an ordinary life instead of leading an extraordinary adventure, the stronger and more negative emotions are. An unexplored life inevitably leads to personal dissatisfaction, and eventually to the deepest regret. Time on earth is finite. Do it now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Taking care of yourself doesn't have to stop different activities that help the collective. The latter should not be the priority, but an addition. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are many ways in which we can change the world or inspire others to do so, but it's not a must that comes before your needs. If you have a ski</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ll or a gift that serves this purpose, find a way to make it viable, turn it into a business even if it's only part time and get paid for it. If your skills or gifts only helps others, exhaustion, frustration and resentment will inevitably follow. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We live in a world where money is necessary. If and when people approach you preaching down that your gift should be free, see how they live and if they follow suit. Most likely they don't. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One truth that we have to accept when we want to 'save the world' is that in so many ways we're screaming our need to be saved. </span></div>
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</span>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everyone has a different perception of life and the world. Find those activities, people and places that make you happy and do more of that. It's an inevitable truth that in order to accomplish this, one has to come out of the comfort zone. It does take courage, but what it might be scary and uncomfortable for five seconds could well be the path to love, happiness and a wonderful existence. Forget what they told you, that you're not good enough or that you will never accomplish your dreams. Pay attention to who's talking and their intention. These</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> statements usually come from people who left their dreams behind long ago or never managed to accomplish anything themselves. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Putting pressure on yourself often derives from the belief that you're not good enough, and as result you use or waste all your energy trying to prove yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, this world needs fixing. Everything can, should or could be improved, but there's nothing that we have to do. All we need to do is be. Be the best version of ourselves, and when we get there, everything else follows. When we feel well, we procure healthy environments and the well-being of others. When we hurt, we hurt others, as well as the environment. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having said and written this, you may choose to ignore all of the above and do what your heart calls for. Just pay attention to your level of energy. Most often than not, what causes lack of energy is lack of action, not to follow your dream. Your dream contains the magic necessary to manifest the world you want and everyone needs. Don't let anyone to tell you otherwise, especially that little voice within that keeps reminding you that you're not enough. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There´s a moment during childhood in which everyone has clarity. You might have forgotten, but it´s still within you. If you remember, follow your bliss and do it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If your life has been characterised by all or any of what's written above and you feel exhausted, it might be time to pause, rest and seek what energises you. This is how we improve or 'save' the world. Saying no as many times as needed is what leads to what we really want. Your responsibility is with yourself, then with others. The more you sing and dance and radiate vibrant energy, the more people you'd attract to your cause, to then see, that you are not alone.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Spiritual-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">this other page.</a><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">More on twin flames: </span><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/twin-flames-love-affair.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-decoration-line: none;">'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'</a></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: start;"> </span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-20469095273058777022017-12-30T10:58:00.001-08:002018-01-01T17:27:34.943-08:00A Response To Matt Damon's Polemic Different Levels Of Sexual Abuse.<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Before the <b>#metoo</b> movement
swept collective conscience like a storm, I had already written an article
entitled ‘<a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/06/all-men-are-same.html">All Men Are The Same’</a> in which it was suggested that it's time for men
to listen to the major outcry against <b>sexual harassment </b>against <b>women</b>, initially
originated behind Hollywood’s screens, but that has been proven to be a problem everywhere else in the world. Today is perhaps necessary to give a
step forward, not suggesting, but telling men to simply to say nothing at all. It
seems that before someone experiences the amazing qualities of silence, one must
first learn not to say anything. We don't always have to comment on everything to show our 'wisdom'. There's more <b>wisdom </b>in <b>silence</b> than there could ever be in words. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pay attention to the silent people.</span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we give an opinion on something we don't know of; in this case due to lack of personal experience, we only contribute negatively to increase the noise of the world, which in turn stops the appropriate spaces in which people can explore their emotions freely and healthily. The noise of the world or the mindless contribution to it are passive, sometimes not so passive aggressive forms of expression that keep, not only the human being, but collective consciousness low. </span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you feel as you've never been neither heard, nor seen, that no one understand you, it is the same principle. Everyone has an expert opinion on your life before you speak. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stirring collective conscience
might have not yet made much difference in some people, but it has certainly
planted a seed for change. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">The following article is a
response to actor <b>Matt Damon</b>’s reply, who said "that there was “a
difference between patting someone on the butt and <b>rape</b> or child molestation.
Both of those behaviours need to be confronted and eradicated without question,
but they shouldn’t be conflated.” </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">His comment was followed by
<b>Minnie Driver</b>’s response arguing that “men “simply cannot understand what abuse
is like on a daily level” and should not therefore attempt to differentiate or
explain sexual misconduct against women.</span>”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While it could be argued that
it’s true to a certain degree that such behaviours may appear to be different types of
abuse, what men and society in general cannot yet grasp is that the trauma
suffered by a victim of any abuse, being this sexual, or any other kind cannot
be in any way diminished by comparing it to another, which is supposedly more
traumatic. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trauma is not a competition. It’s
time for everyone to take a step back, breathe deeply and hold a moment or a lifetime of
silence while examining collective and personal conscience. Coincidentally,
this article caught me writing a related blog post, which is a guideline on how to
listen to <b>trauma</b>, in order to assist others in their healing process and which can be found below.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There cannot be a shift in
consciousness, if conscience is not shifted before. It’s a necessary step. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Much work needs to be done, so
as to change beliefs and behaviours that facilitate equality for all. A world without equality will never provide for all the necessary elements that contribute to
create a thriving society that serves everyone’s needs. While everyone plays a
different part in society, and some may consider themselves outsiders or
against the system; everyone is society. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that someone might believe
that they’re above, morally superior to others or simply outsiders, is the loud
representation, somehow histrionic and neurotic, of a narcissistic society in which
almost everyone is crying out for attention and popularity. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Silence is an extraordinary
source of wisdom and knowledge in which an individual can develop empathy, kindness,
courage or love, to name a few of the qualities that so absent seem to be in
this world. Qualities that otherwise everyone has, but which cannot be
exercised, nor developed, for as long as, everyone insists on imposing their
story. Your story is important and must be told in order to heal and develop, but there is a time and place for this and for everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Diminishing someone’s trauma as
Matt Damon did it’s a clear sign that men are not listening, but neither are a
large number of women who take the same stand on this issue. In his case, this
argument is even more aggravating, as due to fame and social status, he’s a
role model to many to follow. Considering that most opinions and 'knowledge' are formed these days from what we hear from others, everyone could do with pausing and thinking of the consequences of their words before they speak, not just Matt Damon. Sexual abuse in its many different forms is a plague that
affects women daily; a problem that society has not yet done anything to solve.
<b>Patriarchal society</b> is a big bully that continues promoting this kind of
behaviour by not proposing solutions such as education. It seems more important
to learn how to pass an exam with knowledge that will never be used after school
than to teach children or people what it means to be human.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sexual abuse in children is also endemic. The cruelty and ignorance of the human being seems to have no limits. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patriarchy oppresses children,
women and men in different ways, but it does oppress everyone. Denying its
existence, as many men do, is simply a coping mechanism, which conveniently
allows the continuance of rape culture. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trauma affects everyone in
different ways, and what it might not be perceived as traumatic by someone, it
could and does represent a serious burden to someone else. It’s impossible to compare. Every
trauma is important to whoever is dealing with it daily. </span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Years ago, in a
conversation with a friend with whom I became very close during a series of
retreats, he told me that his trauma was small compared to mine, almost being
apologetic for allowing such ‘trivial trauma’ to influence his life in the ways
it did. My response then was the same that it is now: trauma affects the individual
according to their experience. My trauma is not bigger or smaller than yours; just different. What
it might appear to be trivial, hides depths not always perceived by the
untrained eye, but that it can have terrible consequences to the person
experiencing the trauma.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It would have been easy to
accept that my experience was worse than his, due to the fact that it had more special
effects, more violence, more physical, emotional and psychological pain. It
would have certainly added drama to it, a sense of self-importance,
as if traumas were intrinsic talents to a person. Removing the mine-is-bigger-than-yours-element helped to establish equality, and by doing so it was
possible to create the synergy that allowed us to learn from and support each
other; and in time, to build the trust and necessary common ground to give each other feedback.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In regards to sexual harassment,
sexual assault or rape, the same principle applies. It’s not possible for
anyone to establish how an incident affects a woman, nor the depth or consequences of it, as it
is a unique personal experience. It is precisely someone’s experiences what
determines the reach of the trauma and its consequences. No one knows what is
like breaking a leg until it breaks. Some people have more resistance to pain
than others, different age or are mentally stronger or weaker than others. The elements and circumstances are numerous, therefore, it is impossible
to know unless it’s their own experience. The point is that every fracture is different, and so is every person.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are two important facts
that men are missing. One is that the actions of one man reflects on other men.
Any incident involving sexual abuse on a woman is inevitably followed by a
series of triggers that other men would have to face and deal with at some
point in their <b>relationships</b>, as any woman who has gone through such an experience would have
developed an array of reactions to them, which in most cases is represented as
rejection, especially in intimate relationships.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having to face or deal with the
consequences mentioned above, doesn’t remotely resemble what a victim of sexual
abuse has to go through. It takes a high level of maturity and emotional
intelligence to be able to hold a space for a woman to feel safe again. In
most cases, this would not happen overnight, for which reason men will face rejection numerous times. It’s hard for anyone to know how to deal with
rejection, not to take it personally. In the majority of cases, a man is paying for another man’s mistakes
and wrongdoings. Mistakes not being always mistakes, but deliberate actions. Rejection opens up more triggers, turning a loving relationship into a nightmare or even end it. Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?
Well, that!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that men have to deal with the emotional, psychological or physical damage left behind is no reason to feel sorry for any man, but to begin to take responsibility, so as to set the parameters for a healthier, kinder and more loving society. You might have never been the perpetrator, but remaining silent or not taking action to correct certain types of male behaviour, somehow makes us all co-participants. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s both, discouraging and
infuriating to hear a woman resigned the world's current reality that she has not been
raped, followed by a fearful silence in hope that it never happens, but accepting that it's a possibility. The threat is always there, and unconscious and psychopathic men to perpetrate such actions are everywhere. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The second fact is that many
men are moved by a sense of entitlement, especially in romantic relationships
to push and go beyond these boundaries with the belief that they’re not like other men. In many instances, what happens behind doors in relationships equals rape or borders
it, creating or adding to the trauma. If you do it, you are like those men.
Believing something else is just another exhibit of narcissistic behaviour.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This sense of entitlement speaks of a boy that has not yet found the emotional maturity that makes him a man.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Matt Damon also compared allegations
against <b>Weinstein</b>, Al Franken, <b>Kevin Spacey</b> and <b>Louis CK</b>. He commended Louis CK
for his remorse, adding that he “couldn’t imagine that he would do those things
again."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such comment somehow removes
culpability from Louis CK’s predatory behaviour, as well as further humiliating
his victims. Admittance and remorse opens a space to change behaviour, but this
type of comments has become part of our popular culture in a society that so
far has not only not given credibility to victims of sexual abuse, but that has
failed miserably to create the appropriate channels to eradicate these types of
behaviour. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Victim shaming is also a living
part of rape culture. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As men, we cannot decide the
degree of damage on a woman because we just don’t know what it feels like. The fact
that we may think that we know only makes us a bunch of ignorant, opinionated <b>narcissists</b>.
It's neither an original thought, nor a good analysis of the situation, but a defence
mechanism to guilt by association, meaning that if you are a man, at any time
you can be suspected of ill behaviour. It’s far too many the number of women
who have been sexually abused in one way or another what leads to the fact, and
it is a fact, that the number of perpetrators is larger than what we've been led to believe, as sexual harassment or rape is "something that happens to other people are committed by other people." It's never me, nor us. It's always the others. This ignorant belief can be applied to almost everything, creating a general apathy in taking responsibility to create a better self and consequently a better world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During the last 30 years I've listened to the testimonies of sexual abuse of hundred of women, and I can say that sometimes all a woman needs is to find the space to be able to talk freely, without judgment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At some point, men, and people
in general, have to realise that we have a responsibility towards others. Everyone,
that is! Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that we are responsible for the
actions of others, but that we show up in our own lives being the best version
of ourselves. To achieve the best version of ourselves takes time and effort.
It’s not a stage that can be reached by giving mindless opinions on subjects
that we know nothing of. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The road to recovery is often a solitary path. Let's not make it harder by making women, men or children feel that they've never been heard, that no one listened to them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This article is not to condemn Matt Damon's character, nor overall behaviour -it's understandable why he said what he said-, but to encourage others to reflect on the reality of the situation and the power that our opinions might have on others. As this was an isolated incident, not a campaign to teach others, it is and should be treated as such. Let's not be too quick to judge someone's entire life, character and behaviour for one opinion, one incident, one belief. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes, as we are to learn from them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Related articles:</span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 18px;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/12/listening-to-and-assisting-in-healing.html">Listening to, and assisting in healing trauma.</a> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 18px;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/12/the-beauty-and-shame-of-female-body.html">The Beauty and Shame of the Female Body.</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a></span><br style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Spiritual-Readings-549554925162329/" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">this other page.</a><br style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">More on twin flames: </span><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/twin-flames-love-affair.html" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: start;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7078670495792096443.post-15995456280081320982017-12-30T10:56:00.002-08:002017-12-30T10:59:50.518-08:00Listening To, And Assisting In Healing Trauma.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Qld__TA6spdqtXNn_NjkAK0_t0wk7c1YyBNKyYaxLY92ChfotUmEyO3BheAZ_JJ0ZYZvWj9eddDNvekYvjIg-TC60kxDdn_HpPpRAYJ1wvs4CrUADhM7dtCnkjsPhG-w2HPauJ6uhW4/s1600/listening+to+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Qld__TA6spdqtXNn_NjkAK0_t0wk7c1YyBNKyYaxLY92ChfotUmEyO3BheAZ_JJ0ZYZvWj9eddDNvekYvjIg-TC60kxDdn_HpPpRAYJ1wvs4CrUADhM7dtCnkjsPhG-w2HPauJ6uhW4/s640/listening+to+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The term <b>healing</b> is misleading and one that contributes to misinterpret one's reality or current emotional state. In this sense the word implies that someone is emotionally ill, which in turn leads individuals to accept it as a life condition, inherent and permanent, creating and feeding an energetic cloud that lies heavy on their psyche and <b>emotional body</b>. It is counter-productive as it urges a sense of immediacy, and a constant struggle pushing against time. Healing is always in the now, not in the future. It's one of the new beliefs of the <b>new age</b>, that goes along the lines of the original sin. It doesn't help that numerous <b>healers</b>, as well as a large number of people who neither have received any training in healing <b>trauma</b>, nor have healed their own, spread the message that healing is a process that ends the day we die. Such statement only prepares people for a life of suffering, not knowing how to deal, nor heal any trauma, as it becomes infinite, endless while still stuck in a moment in time. Healing might be needed throughout different stages in life, but there are ways to make the process more practical, more <b>fun</b>, more <b>playful</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a lifetime we live, not a life sentence.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Learning a concept goes beyond giving it intellectual meaning. Healing comes through feeling and emotion. The knowledge acquired through healing is emotional, as well as energetic. Traditional education has trained people to memorise knowledge in order to pass an exam. What's essential in healing trauma is the training of emotional intelligence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such message is devoid of any substance, truth or depth. No one has to suffer the entire length of a lifetime. It's possible to detach from the emotions attached to trauma, achieving inner peace by training emotional intelligence in order to heal the emotional body. In the healing process there is a time in which someone can speak of their traumas without falling once again victim of their emotions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While emotion is necessary to tell our story, it is also essential to reach a healthy level of detachment. During the process of healing an while reliving trauma, no one can tell their story without emotion. Emotions make a good story teller. However, how someone expresses emotion determines the nature of the story. It is by following emotions that anyone can at some point overcome their emotional reality, reaching a different stage in their healing. At some point, the story loses the emotion and consequently the pain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At this stage, life doesn't become painless, as there will be more episodes in which pain appears. However, it does become easier to deal with pain, once an individual understands the difference between pain and suffering, and so with emotions.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In this process, there are practical techniques and methods available that one can learn and practice in order to deal with triggers caused by trauma or the situations that trigger such emotions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Before going into the listening part that may contribute to someone's healing, a word of warning. There's a large number of practitioners, so-called healers or 'internet-shamans' that after a week's worth of training in certain healing techniques and processes offer miraculous results. In many of these cases, what's being sold is a hopeful placebo that invites bypassing, so as to skip several stages in healing trauma. It's not possible to claim a healthy state of healing, while this is all we talk about. It's not how it works. Emotions are dealt with, both, speaking up, and in silence. There's a time to talk, and a time to feel. A common reaction to emotion is to go from feeling suicidal to I am now in bliss within hours might not be the best indication that one has healed, nor that they may be able to help others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fluctuating from "suicidal" to "bliss" in a matter of hours may be an indication that a 'healer' cannot hold the space for someone's healing. It takes the same amount of energy to decide that one wants to end with everything than to decide to live a life to the full. Giving up is a trained thought. Healthy healers know that they have to keep themselves in a good and balance emotional state, which allows them to connect with the feelings and emotions required to hold such space, so as to transmit a healing energy to others. In order to create and be able to facilitate the space, one must have presence; to be able to live in the here and now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A healer doesn't have to be permanently happy, but they have to maintain certain stability that allows immediate connection with a healthy emotional state, being able then to create the appropriate energetic space to hold someone else's trauma and emotions. This is another reason why it is essential that healers, therapeutic practitioners and entrepreneurs get paid. A healing practice without the minimum level of wealth is doom to fail, as healers, coaches and therapeutic practitioners find themselves constantly catching up with practical matters that cause emotional upheavals or having to find different sources of income, which limits the amount of time, energy and effort that they can dedicate to their clients.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyone can hold space for someone else by not reacting to, nor bringing their own emotions. In order to heal it is necessary to be acknowledged, reason for which, hiring a healer, attending a group or retreat can have an incredible effect in people's healing. Healing with and through people doesn't mean that someone dumps their emotions and traumas on others, a mistake people often make when reacting to emotions. There are steps that can be taken to create a safe space for such purpose. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Listening to others is an art and a rare quality to find in people. Listening to others is on principle one of the easiest things to do. However, many people react to such situations by offering unwanted solutions or giving opinions that in most cases are counter-productive. Acknowledgement comes through being heard. Unwanted opinions or advice interfere with the process, and people neither feel heard, nor acknowledge, which creates anxiety and an urge to express their trauma even more. When someone tries to offer solutions without being asked for it, they get involved in the emotion and trauma. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Listening to others is about the speaker, never about the listener. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the common mistakes that are made when expressing emotion in healing is that the speaker often wants to be heard by the people who caused the trauma. This is often difficult , if not impossible. Family members are outcast by further bullying with either more criticism, victim shaming or name calling. People who inflict pain and suffering on others, tend to carry a heavy load of guilt and shame themselves. The only defense mechanism they have against further shame or guilt is to try and convince the victim that the events that led to create trauma was indeed their fault. This is a recurrent trait in narcissists, who will continue attacking the victim throughout life, so as not to admit their wrongdoings. At the same time, they will speak highly of themselves, their achievements and personal qualities. In their eyes, narcissists are always better and do better. However fierce their mindless attacks are, it has to be understood that such confrontations are emotional reactions to guilt and shame knowing that they are in the wrong. They know. The just won't admit it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The truth always comes out and in time, everyone gets to the place they deserve. Even the most narcissistic of all eventually is hit by conscience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In many cases trauma is caused by strangers in one isolated action, as it is in the case of sexual abuse. This makes it almost impossible to be acknowledged by the attacker. It's unlikely that they'd ever be willing to listen to their victims or that they reach a balanced and healthy state of conscience that may facilitate the situation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The #metoo movement has helped many in being acknowledged and feeling heard, although there has also been too many people, including both, men and women who interfered with the process by claiming that not all men are the same. Months before the movement took over social media, I've already written an article: <a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/06/all-men-are-same.html">'All men are the same'</a>, in which the main message is listening to others, specifically to women in this particular case. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, the article didn't get much attention. Ask someone to listen to you and they'll tell you their story. The world wants to be heard, while most people are hardly heard or acknowledged.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even though listeners are rare, due to the overwhelming need of most people to share their stories and traumas with the world, there are many out there. They are easily recognised. They are the people that others go to talk and share their stories. Listening is also an energy that people healing from trauma can easily recognise. On social media you will have your inbox filled with countless stories from strangers or friends. They know you listen. At the same time, strangers would approach you in public places and ask to talk to you or sit with you. What they recognise in you is the ability for silence, the lack of desperation to tell your story, as you already know it and understand it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In order to assist others in healing trauma one has to create the space where they can express themselves freely. Listen to them without a personal opinion. Do not jugde or comment unless asked for it. People going through emotions while talking about their trauma tend to find it difficult to be eloquent or maintain fluidity. As a result of this, they will pause in order to find the air to breath. This silence might feel uncomfortable, which is when many people use the opportunity to break it by talking. Allow the silence instead. Pay attention to them and give space and time for them to continue. If interrupted, the speaker would feel betrayed and resort to a different time of silence. The silence that is produced when they don't feel heard, nor acknowledge. In order to listen to others, time and space is necessary, but so it is pause and patience. When asked to comment, it's best to respond with question that would help them to expand on their points. A simple "I hear you" does wonders when acknowledging others. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pause and silence also allows the speaker to gather their thoughts, find composure in the midst of emotions and listening to themselves. Interrupting this process can do more harm than good.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If this is a recurrent situation, there will be time to introduce ideas, opinions, experience or recommendations, but it's also essential not to give advice or direction on subjects one doesn't have any experience of. When the speaker is expressing their trauma with raw emotion, they just want to be heard and acknowledged. Listening to them in silence and without personal input, in time one learns to know what they want or may need. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most people don't listen to others, nor don't know how, because they don't listen to themselves. Don't be one of them. Listening to others creates trust, which is another essential quality in healers.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Listening to others is an important element in my therapeutic practice with clients, as by listening I can interpret their energies, where they are energetically at the time, which helps me to recognise their needs, as well as the numerous personal qualities and possibilities that they have ahead of them. Silence can be considered a different dimension in a world so stridently noisy, a space that provides all the elements that help to interpret reality from a deeper level. If silence and listening are considered art, it's because it requires practice. Every pause, every minute of silence is a step forward into healing. We don't have to talk endlessly. In silence one learns to hear and listen to what's important. Then we can talk. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Related articles:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://manelblanco.blogspot.com.es/2017/12/a-response-to-matt-damons-polemic.html">A response to Matt Damon's polemic different levels of sexual abuse.</a></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj03H8K9rqGRETaSMsWR-ktckH80Kxw_RjaKrdPBJAQO1ZJUDvo2YGQdvbVIhzGDnVzAq2Gy1HWmsmVfBkGqqHIGoAk9bpvM6J3Z49kQUYlA2p5EO6tV_rqi5JkZITHC-b9matd8AFLunw/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj03H8K9rqGRETaSMsWR-ktckH80Kxw_RjaKrdPBJAQO1ZJUDvo2YGQdvbVIhzGDnVzAq2Gy1HWmsmVfBkGqqHIGoAk9bpvM6J3Z49kQUYlA2p5EO6tV_rqi5JkZITHC-b9matd8AFLunw/s1600/JPEG+kindle+cover+reuniting+with+the+twin+flame+%25281%2529+manel+blanco+blogspot.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1549540033/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1505578728&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=manel+blanco" style="color: #0b5394;">The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.</a></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">For soul readings visit</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Manels-Spiritual-Readings-549554925162329/" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">this other page.</a><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">More on twin flames: </span><a href="http://manelblanco.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/twin-flames-love-affair.html" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'</a></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; text-align: start;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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Manel Blancohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03765163628904180054noreply@blogger.com1