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The Runner: The Lover That Doesn't Want To Be Loved.

The runner is on the loose; either aware or unaware of the trail of heartbreak that leaves behind. Unaware of the their own heartbreak, or what reasons they have to keep running as soon as the feeling of safety in a relationship takes hold of them. For the one left behind, understanding this feeling might be difficult, if not impossible. Since I started writing about the runner, I've received hundreds of emails requesting more information on what could be done to stop first, and then, to transform this pattern of behaviour, as it's cause of pain and suffering, not only to those who are abandoned, but also to the runner. This article is written with this intention, as well as the kind of work that's involved. 

The runner is a person ruled by contradictions. In a way we all are. Perhaps the contradiction that tortures them most is the longing for love and to be loved, while being unable to fully surrender to love at the same time, or the inability to keep a relationship. It's human condition to complicate life in order to explore the labyrinth of the collective unconscious and its effects on an individual quest, -me against the world- trying to find answers, to learn what's truth, what's not, to one day realise that everything is so simple, that the answer was already there, and we knew it all along. In between we follow the dictate of the noise of the world, which eventually ends echoing within, ruling the mind.

Unless there's a clear vision of the world, it's normal to do what we're told that works, even if we have to go through a turmoil of emotions and experiences that go against what we believe and truly want, which do more harm than good. Before someone knows the way, it's usual to try what doesn't work. "Before we know who we are, we have to see who we're not."

The moment that triggers the urge to run is overwhelming, an energetic space, both too familiar and too mysterious due to the difficulty to interpret it. This space expands inwards and outwards taking over someone's whole being with an emotion that extends to the infinite. Vertigo inevitably follows. It's not surprising that the runner goes and do what they do best; disappearing wit an explanation that only they believe.

Understanding this feeling is more important than whatever reasons or excuses the runner may have to leave. The reasons, as well as the explanations are contradictory and futile. If emotions are hard to put into words, the encounter with the infinite within proves to be more so. In a world that feeds on the weakness of people by the make-belief that we're limited beings, it's not surprising that the response of the runner is either fear or panic. 

In the past, the runner has either suffered, witnessed, and most likely experienced both, the hard way the effects of failed relationships, in which abuse was prevalent. It's also likely that the runner has experienced abuse and rejection from birth. The kind of abuse could have been verbal, physically violent or even sexual. In other cases it could have been subtle, such as controlling parents or a controlling environment, surrounded by types of forceful behaviour that limit the individual, affecting their relationship with intimacy. The people who were supposed to love and protect them not only didn't, but used their position of power and authority to take advantage. For the runner, love is not a safe space, or at least it doesn't feel like it.

Paradoxically, the runner eagerly seeks love and won't be shy at taking the opportunity to explore love with someone else. It's not so much that they don't want to be loved, they don't know how to allow it, although in time they get so used to not being loved and/or to reject love that it becomes the norm. Meeting someone and creating a relationship is the easy part. They're likely to be creative, charming their way to someone's heart, having the ability to make the beginning of the relationship truly magical. 

The first obstacle appears when in creating the relationship they try to fix the relationship pattern that they witnessed failing or the moment in which they reach the phase in which they've already accomplished creating a relationship that matches their ideal. At this point, the runner drops the creative energy and effort becoming stagnant. Creating beyond this point is a real challenge.The purpose is to create the ideal scenario that in their minds is perfect with the belief that once all the parameters have been set, the relationship settles in the flow of love and abundance. There's no vision beyond this point. because this is an experience never lived and which has to be created. Unfortunately, we do tend to create what we already know. It's essential to understand this.

The feeling that urges the runner to leave is the inability to live in safe and loving spaces, the lack of trust in love, not so much in their partners. It's the sensation that they've hit an energetic wall, so deep, wide and tall, that even thinking about how to get to the other side is exhausting and demoralising. This emotion is not to be taken lightly, however difficult it might be to imagine it. It takes the runner to a different dimension. They're now fully into the unknown. 

No one enters the unknown feeling equipped to cruise through it. The unknown is a place where we stumble before we flow, hence, it's tempting to return to the comfort zone. In the case of the runner, the alarms sets off because they move from love to vertigo within a matter of minutes, even seconds. The abruptness of the change in emotions can be and usually is overwhelming. It's also an intense encounter with the feeling of being all alone once again. Panic follows. From here on, there are two options, to stay and go through the storm of emotions that follow or to leave and return to the same old habits. The first step takes courage and patience, the latter is a walk back to the comfort zone, however uncomfortable this might feel and no matter how spectacular or poetic they may make it sound. We can convince ourselves of anything in order to avoid the leap of faith the holds the key to universal love.

The answers to the dilemmas we're tormented by are in the stories we tell ourselves. The problem in finding them is that most people speak what they want to hear. 

It's important to remove the romantic tag from the runner, however charming or enchanting they may be. Runners in their comfort zone can be predatory, slowly weaving a web in which to trap lovers they do not usually want to be in a long term relationship with, seduce them with their stories and that evasive air of mystery and mysticism so easy to recognise in them, and which, to others might look like freedom. 

The runner is also propense to theatrics and drama and have worked out subtle ways to make it sound as if it's somehow their partners fault that they're leaving even when they utter the famous "it's not you, it's me! sentence. It sounds more like, "damn you for not rescuing me from this space after opening my heart to you."

At some point the runner will numb their feelings. While this reaction is a natural defense mechanism they've created, the coldness that follows tends to be heartbreaking and devastating to others, as well as to themselves. To their partners because they feel used and abandoned, to the runner, because living in an ice house is not where they want to be. It doesn't feel like home, and it's not home. 

The coldness of the heart is not a place where anyone can stay too long without serious consequences. Soon they come out seeking the warmth of love and the touch of others. From lover to lover, the runner loses touch with their conscience and their heart, often validating their way of living by creating a self-mythological figure that believes that they're teachers demostrating others how to love. "Learn the lesson I came to teach you now and live with it", they'd say. Unaware of their own coldness, they move on to the next lover without kindness, nor compassion for the person left behind. If they remove you from their lives, it's because they neither want to deal with the emotions you raise in them, nor they believe they're capable of. It's easier to keep looking outside for answers, and in their minds, a new lover will come with all the answers. Little do they know that a new lover will only come with the same bag of emotions and undealt with issues, making the runner feel great for a while, but even worse afterwards. 

It's also possible that the runner meets controlling lovers that try to tell them what to do, sensing their desire to leave from the beginning. The runner will tell that they are leaving or that they never stay long, a deliberate act that gives them the upper hand and puts you in the position of the chaser. Being involved in this unhealthy dynamic, the runner would get the worse of their lovers, in which case, they'd leave at once. However, it's necessary to know that the runner surrounds themselves with a set of emotional traps imposible to avoid. If one doesn't provoke you, they're throw another one at your feet in front of your very eyes without any remorse or shame, then blame you for your reaction. It's provocation. Nothing else. But as it's directed at the heart, not reacting to them it's a natural reaction almost impossible to avoid. It hurts. 

Despite the above description, the runner doesn't have to be a bad person and most likely is not. They're like everyone else; people learning to love their way back home.

On the other side of the story, the chaser develops controlling mechanisms, which do not serve the purpose either, as these instruments of control are developed with fear. This approach doesn't work either, as the chaser enters a phase in which panic takes control of them, and in which both, love and creativity suffer setbacks. If there's neither love, nor creativity, relationships die. Fear is paralysing and it affects both lovers. 

It's not easy to find a standard answer that serves all, as every runner reacts to different triggers and according to their personal experience, as well as to their partners. In theory, the solution is simple: stop, stay and enjoy the unknown, being in love with life, love itself and  with someone else, but not reacting to the emotion is almost impossible. All the energy that's wasted in running and destroying love could well be used to create a relationship in which love, harmony and abundance is limitless, but for this to happen, the runner has to make a conscious effort to remain and explore possibilities that can only be found in the unknown.

The common mistake in all runners is to react to their inability to process their own emotions and run. Emotions are linked and even blamed on the other person, creating the illusion that without their lovers they'd be safe. Running is a futile exercise, as it's only running towards the same time and again, only that represented by a different face, a different voice, a different environment. It feels safe for a while, but it's more of the same illusion. 

It's necessary to look at someone's personal history in order to find where the triggers initiate, as well as finding resources that allow different responses that permit to create new paths. The runner is not reacting to their lover, but to the reminiscence of a feeling experienced during their earlier years. 

The urge to run in the runner goes so deep that even when I work with clients dealing with this issue they tend to disappear for long periods, despite the fact that ours is a professional/client relationship with well defined boundaries, as well as a safe space to explore within themselves what's too emotionally intense in a romantic relationship. 

Gestalt techniques and psychodrama offer a wonderful array of possibilities for the exploration of this character, the fears that create the urge to run, as well as showing the strengths, confidence and above all, to show the runner, that love is safe, and that being with someone they truly want to be with can be more rewarding than fearful. 

It's time that the world learns that love is the safest place to be. 

They say that curiosity killed the  cat. I say that lack of curiosity is killing the human being. Lack of curiosity for love, for the adventure, for learning what we are, and expressing the limitlessness of who we really are. 

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 

Creating A Successful, Future Version Of Yourself.

Most people understandably seek emotional safety and certainty of the future in and from others, not knowing that the making of their future portrait lies in their hands. While the certainty of the specific future cannot be guaranteed or manifested as someone may wish it to be, it's also possible to work towards it. The main problem in creating the future is that the mind tends to take as reference present and past experiences, which can be perceived as impossible obstacles to overcome. The way forward for a different future is to do something different, easy in practice, not so easy in practice, as there's a natural tendency to resort to the usual habits and patterns of behaviour. 

The first step is to accept that there cannot be certainty of the future, although it's possible to challenge this belief, and with focus and dedication get closer to a desired reality. Everything is a paradox. Depending on the level of perception we might get lost in the contradiction. What is true now, it doesn't have to be true tomorrow. The key to everything we want is in energy. Everything is energy. When properly managed, it can change anything, everything and everyone. Energy can either flow or remain stagnant depending on actions, thoughts and words. What's done today is a step pointing at the future we are going to. 

Energy is much easier to manage than what it might seem. 

The process is simple. The practice might not be so. Every word, action, thought and intention carries a determined energy, and each of these elements plays an important part in someone's development. Intention is created from an idea, thought or feeling. Keeping the energy of the initial feeling is essential in order to succeed despite the obstacles one might face in the process. Persistence no matter what! The higher vibration in the feeling, the more powerful the intention. In order to reach a high vibration with an intention, its nature also determines the direction. An intention could be born from the best idea, but could be not a vibrational match to its essence for several reasons, such as morals, principles or beliefs. Matching both is also essential. 

Another obstacle is the resistance to get excited, to allow ourselves to be happy by aiming and getting something we really want. It's a usual characteristic in people not to get too excited about a brighter future. The feeling has a root in the belief that we're not good enough or don't deserve it, which is stored in the energetic storage of self-worth and self-esteem. Listen to yourself, and when it doubt seek the source of the information carried in your thoughts, which is most likely coming from a parent expressing in multiple forms that you're not good enough. 

If the idea is to serve the greater good, but the intention and purpose is only to make money from it, the goal may be reached eventually, but it's also possible that it never sees the light of day. This is only an example. Serving others and financial gain are matching energies, but if your belief is flawed and perceive that, either, you're not good enough or have negative believes about money, the new venture won't blossom. One belief cancels the other. The idea and personal belief  that someone may have on money could block the intention. However, regardless of one's personal belief system, it should not deter anyone from pursuing or achieving their goals. In most cases it's a matter of shifting someone's energy into a new belief. 

Shifting beliefs can be perceived as a painful process or even an impossible task. It doesn't have to be. One of the obstacles that people find in their way to success is the wrong beliefs or perception that they may have. In order to change this, first, someone has to be aware of what's stopping them. This could be a difficult task, as we often don't see that the first barrier between us and success is the self. Seeking professional assistance may be a step forward in the right direction, as one simple realisation can improve or change the views that we have on the world, goals and the self. 

Intention is followed by words, thoughts and actions, all of which ideally match the vibration of the idea and the intention. In this case, the project is the development of a person, but the process can be applied to anything else. Whatever the project, it carries someone's personal imprint, reason for which one also may want to consider who to share it with or whom to get involved. When energy is high, people, situations and every other necessary element will appear to make it possible. 

It's best not to share your dreams, goals or the decisions you make with anyone. Explaining ourselves to the world eventually turns as a justification for being, losing strength and the sense of purpose. Most people are too quick to give unwanted advice, feedback or even criticism finding fault to everything. Remember how many times you've been told that something is not possible, yet, there are so many people around the world living their dream because they believe that it is indeed possible. 

Successful people don't listen to the noise of the world. The noise of the world being the collective unconscious to which most people contribute with their negative experiences and the fall out of dreams they never pursued. 

Get excited and keep the energy contained. It's a matter of working on it, to express it with action and movement which in turn will bring more ideas along, as well as the right people. There are also a large number of encouraging people out there. Not everyone falls for the negative. Some people actually want to see you succeed. 

Talking about it and sharing it with others is often detrimental, as many people do not share the same intention, nor want to see you succeed or being happy. More often than not, the closer we are to someone, the more discouraging they'll be. Get excited, live the excitement while working on it, and let others guess why your energy has shifted. If you're not being successful, you might be surrounded by toxic people. Let them go!

It's important to consider the energy that is created during the process. Every action is stored in someone's energetic field throughout time. The energy that is created today is probably the energy they're going to be living with tomorrow. There is a key element in this process: integrity. By taking action and achieving small victories that take you one step further to what you want, you're storing a new memory in your body and psyche, which in time will help you to get there. 

Not every action that you take has to be a victory, and that's OK, but one successful step already serves to change perception and to show you that you're on the right path. 

If while reading this your reality is not the one you desire, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity, but that perhaps certain steps towards your dreamed future has taken a few detours in the wrong direction. Experience and the mistakes made throughout are invaluable sources of wisdom, as well as pointing out in which direction not to walk to. 

It's easy to see how the process develops by feeling the energy that creates. Thoughts must match words, words match actions and all together the intention. However imperceptible one may think the dissonance appears to others and that they can get away with it, with good words or perhaps symbolic, public actions, energy speaks before any event takes place. Follow the energy of the feeling, not the outcome. Energy can break through any obstacles and remove from your life the most pessimistic person.

To create a beautiful portrait of the self, it's necessary to focus on one's goals. How to get there is not as important as getting there. However, it doesn't mean that for this purpose someone can deviate from the moral compass. Integrity is a must. In order to be successful it's necessary to say no to what's convenient now, -even if it doesn't make sense or makes you uncomfortable,- so as to reach what's important at the end of the journey. The process is about creating opportunities, not about being opportunistic. 

Deep within everyone knows who they are, what we're meant to do with our lives and the kind of person we want to be. To be who and what we are, we do not need to wait another forty years. This is a decision that anyone can make here and now. It's likely that throughout the process we meet the opposition of many people, especially those who claim to love us the most, and that in order not to antagonise them we deviate from our true calling, always returning to square one, becoming discouraged and depressed because they neither understand, nor support you.

Learn to listen, so as to hear what people really want to say. Again, follow the feeling.

Family and friends are usually the first ones to find problems to every solution, to put obstacles in someone else's way while showing that they care or love. They probably don't know better, and it's possible that they never listened to you. Family and friends tend to project their issues, what makes it, seeing you almost impossible. At some point they must go or stand aside. Relying on the opinions of others to embrace who we are, we'd never get anywhere. 

The process doesn't have to be dramatic or painful. Begin the process knowing that you might meet obstacles and accept that this is OK. Every challenge is an opportunity for growth. What's essential is to focus all your attention and energy on your goals, rather than fighting the opinions of others. 

What's important to have in mind is that every action can change the energy that drives you. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. I can't emphasise enough how essential it is to acknowledge that the future can change anytime with one heartfelt action, as well as to remember that the energy that's generated can change your life forever. If you're capable of one small success, you're capable of many more. What you want might not be possible by hitting the jackpot or in a day. 

A simple example.

Writing a book takes time, energy and effort. Writing regularly is necessary. Writing is not something we talk about, but something we do. Each page is one step forward towards the end. It might take several books, several songs, different courses or qualifications, or a minimum of months to transform your body. All these goals have one thing in common: persistence. If the energy feels right today, it might be an activity that you want to take on tomorrow, and as you practice every day, you improve your skills, see what works and what doesn't. 

All broken dreams have one thing in common, people never worked towards them. Think about it. 

The following article also offers guidance to get what you want:

The freedom in being authentic. 

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 

To Find Love, You Don't Have To Love Yourself First.

Rumour has it that you have to love yourself before you find love. New age rumour. The new age seems to have a number of unsubstantiated rules and regulations that have become part of the collective unconscious, and while they might come with good intentions, can cause more harm than good. That someone has to love themselves before they can love others or find love is one of them. Anyone can love anyone else anytime they feel like it, and definitely someone who has not yet learn to love themselves, which is the majority of people, can still find love and a relationship

Loving yourself definitely helps to find love, as the energy someone functions on and emanates is higher and more inviting to others. In fact, it's possible to be in love, even before meeting someone. Being in love is a magnet, therefore attraction and love are easy to manifest. It's the natural state of the human being. Whether we are connected or not to such source is a different story. This is a fact that I know from experience, and which I believe to be true for many. However, it's not an essential step in the quest of love. 

Telling someone to love themselves before finding love is the same as telling people that  they don't deserve love. While the intention might be good it can affect the confidence and self-esteem in someone who's already feeling low or unworthy of love and send them straight to depression. What in the spur of the moment -because this is a cliché- and could sound wise coming from someone who goes from cliché to cliché in order to look well versed in the spiritual journey, is not wisdom. It's actually a rather unwise thing to say.

Furthermore, someone who loves themselves, but have not been able to find love or the appropriate person to have a relationship with could begin to believe that they're also unworthy of love. There are many people who love themselves that remain single for this reason. This is a limiting belief and one that goes along the line that we're not good enough, and that we don't deserve love.

Over the years I had the pleasure of serving many clients, mostly working on their relationships issues. I have not yet worked with anyone who wasn't deserving of love or couldn't find it, as they all reunited qualities and attributes worth having and worth loving. Most of the issues they were dealing with were obstacles that people find to love or to be loved, which is a natural stage to go through for everyone, and which are developed throughout life by a constant exposure to abusive elements. The reasons to reach such beliefs are simple. This is what we've all been told repeatedly from birth, if not by parents, by siblings, friends, peers, stranger or by the many voices of the collective unconscious.

People might be facing fear of love or intimacy, fear of rejection or abandonment, feeling unworthy, recovering from deep traumas caused by abuse of neglect. Some people have greater social skills, others may be less attractive, but still attractive to someone. All these reasons influence people's self-worth and confidence, but there's no reason why anyone couldn't find love.

Having worked with so many people in building their strengths, positive attributes and self-esteem in order to help them solve their limiting beliefs, I know that it can be a lengthy process, which can be dismantled by sentences such as this. And it is a sentence. A prison sentence. Most people already live in the prison of their limiting beliefs. We don't need more of it, especially not coming from the spiritual community.

I also know from experience that in order to reach a successful outcome, clichés don't help. There's not one standard answer for everyone. The problem with throwing clichés around camouflaged wisdom, is that everyone is dealing with different issues, and that while one answer serves many, it might not apply to the someone else. Even the same answer has to be adapted to the character, personality and experience of that person.

It's not possible to treat everyone in the same way, therefore clichés don't work. Clichés only work in the collective unconscious, while love is an energy that moves in the collective consciousness. There's a great difference between both, as there's is between shadows and light. Clichés are in fact great selling techniques targeting people's weaknesses. A cliché is the box everyone talks about. It doesn't require thinking.

Everyone is born in love. From that moment on, we learn fear from family, society and culture. Learning not to love ourselves is a consequence of how society as a whole is separated from collective consciousness and any resemblance of love. Love is not what drives the world. Fear is, and so, people do respond with reactions to love.

The tragedy is that unconsciously we continue doing to ourselves what it has been done to us, acquiring and prolonging bad habits, which become normal automatism for survival. Family and social pressure follow a pattern and modern of education that is nothing but a bullying system that forces most people not to be themselves. While adapting to uniformity, we lose authenticity. It's nor surprising that many people insist on the important of self-love and self-parenting.

It's important to consider that someone people had terrible experiences in relationships or just ended one, what makes, asking someone to love themselves in order to receive something that is natural to us all; love. It's the same manipulative and controlling attitude that individual and the collective have used forever. You can't have this until you've done that.

There's nothing to prove to anyone. Nothing that we have to do in order to love or be loved. This popular saying has nothing to do with love. If you believe that you need to do something to find love, you'd need to keep doing something to keep love, which is an unconscious reactions to fear of abandonment. It's the illogical reasoning imposes and demands love: I love you, hence, "you have to love me back."

While learning and exploring self-love, self-care or tackling some of the deeper barriers that affect the development of the relationship that we have with the self and/or a partner, to love yourself first is not a requirement to find love. Love is everywhere and it could appear anytime.

We've been taught to fear from the beginning of our lives, and acquired every other sub-product of fear there is, which we implement in our relationships with others. It's time that we begin to understand and speak the qualities of love, and with the qualities of love, which sound and feel of freedom, creativity and expansion. There are no rules. I wish people stopped punishing others with this so-called new age wisdom.

Listen not to the words of others, but to the feeling you have when talking to others. If it's a conversation about love and it's not uplifting, it's probably not loving.

Since publishing this blog post last night, I've received numerous replies, mostly unkind, to put it mildly. First, I already wrote about how magnetic and attractive one can become when one vibrates in love and the feeling comes from within without the need for someone else to make us feel complete. The blog post can be found in this blog. Second, this is not an article on self-love, just pointing out the lazy sentence that leaves people feeling unworthy of love. Third, most of the comments I've read have been unkind, condescending and even abusive, not to mention that they were off topic, and it seems that didn't read the article, just wanted to put their message across.

I don't know how people can talk about self-love while using abusing and patronising language. It only proves my point further that some people talk about things they don't know about it because they don't feel it. If there's no love in the language, there's no love in the message.

Related articles:

The Freedom in Being Authentic.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 

Five Articles Towards More Conscious Relationships.

The word out there is that the number of people seeking more conscious relationships is on the rise. Conscious relationships offer an open space in which both individuals can express themselves freely, so as to embrace the other in a constant dance of authenticity. Conscious only means that there's a deliberate attempt to work through obstacles, triggers and dramas by understanding the self, then others. On principle this creative space is found in all relationships. What makes a difference is that the effort is deliberate, allowing a variety of emotional and practical tools to operate in order to create a more dynamic and successful relationship. 

There are no limits to what two people can achieve in a relationship if they both consciously work on expanding. Relationships can help to debunk inflexible myths and stereotypes that keep people stagnant. It's perhaps the best space to heal traumas and to learn what we really want from life and love. Not all relationships serve the purpose, nor would contribute to improve either the self or the way we interact with others and the world. While there's not a magic formula that serves all, as any insight requires flexibility and adapting to new patterns, beliefs and habits, it's possible to find the right direction through awareness, which is the intention of this blog post. What one does or doesn't do with this information if implemented always comes down to a personal choice to improve the self, in order to be more whole, more magnetic, more attractive; more authentic. 

The first article, Seekers After Truth deals with truth. A necessary journey within that helps to know more about who we are not until somebody gets to know who and what they really are. While this is a personal exercise, the support of a loving partner makes the journey a more fulfilling experience from a place of understanding and compassion. 

Shadow Work is another essential tool to have in mind throughout the relationship. The process is done both, individually and as a couple. In the book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' there's a detailed description of the process, as well as treating different dynamics in relationships. There are incredible benefits to shadow work for those interested in creating a more conscious relationship, not only with their partners, but with the self. 

In Twin Flames and Fear Of Love, to which it could be added intimacy, even though it a different subject and one that will be published in this blog shortly, the reader can explore some of the obstacles that people create when facing love and in relationships. It also deals with what the deep root that leads many people to abandon relationships or not to begin one. 

Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul And The Miracle of Love is an exploration on the ever expanding possibilities that a couple can find through sex, as well as the importance of love, foreplay and playfulness between two lovers. 

Finally, The Problem With Trust delves into one of the most common issues that a couple face in a relationship, and ways in which they might deal with it once there's an awareness and acceptance that this might be a problem. 

Over the years, most of the people I've coached on relationships and personal development expressed great interest in dealing with relationship issues mostly, and while it's important to be aware of the dynamics in relationships, most of them agreed that they could have avoided breaking up with their couples if they've built their relationships on some of the solutions provided in these five articles instead of leaving everything to chance. With greater awareness, the chances are that relationships become happier and successful. 

Most issues in relationships, if not all could be solved by simply focusing on love, as love is the true alchemy to transformed everything. Every article written and read, every piece of advice, any understanding on the dynamics in relationships mean nothing if love is not the driving force. 

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly


Be Wild At Heart In The Quest Of Love And Freedom.

There's this society we live in, built and absorbed by the collective unconscious in which obsolete rules and beliefs keep the human being dazed in a cloud of fear, thwarting dreams, keeping people limited by old paradigms that no longer serves humanity's evolution. The so-called experts and scientists predict the devolution of the human being with 'proven' theories of gloom and doom, which only serve to inject more fear, which in turn closes the heart of the collective, as well as of the individual, and with it, to deter hope and faith in the limitless expansion that a person is truly capable of. Within this cloud, numerous hearts hold on to the real possibility of a conscious world, no longer buying into the lie. In following the call of the heart and the soul, they're called, wild

The same experts and scientists work for the establishment devising and creating more ways in which to keep the human being small, limited and living in constant fear. 

There's that other society that lives in everybody's hearts. 

There are numerous terms to tag the wild ones with, but none truly describe who they are: the misfits, the black sheep, hippies, bohemian, the lone wolf; the outcasts. They are the poets, the artists, the dancers, the healers, the wanderers, the heartbreakers. It's the prodigal child that never returns. It's an anarchic army that moves away from the anesthetising normality, breaking the rules, even laws. 

While breaking the law is not something that can be promoted, it only takes one look at the state of the world to see that lawmakers and law enforcers also break them, often causing harm to others. Most laws are obsolete, and a vast majority, unjust. 

The energy of the collective unconscious is crammed with so many rules and limitations that it's impossible for most people to live with a minimum sense of freedom. While it's an energy that most people don't feel, the threat of punishment and exclusion has been so widely promoted that it lies deeply ingrained in the psyche and hearts of most people. It's no wonder that life doesn't flow as it's supposed to be. More concerned on what we have than who we are.

You will hear stories about the wild one, as if they were a shadow figure not to be approached, nor spoken to, for he and she will undoubtedly be a bad influence. The wild at heart breaks through conventions and traditions that do not allow the free expression of the individual. It's not that all their actions are spotless or ventures to be proud of. They're loved at home, but not wanted. 

As someone who doesn't fit into any box, wandering from place to place it turns into a way of living. The call of the soul within is too intense to conform. The heart does not grow fondness for anything that doesn't serve its purpose, an as a consequence this person tends to be detached, on a path of letting go. 

While everything you've read so far might invite to romanticise the figure of the wild at heart, it's best not too. Being wild at heart is not about creating another mythological figure of which freedom and courage people speak of and recognise after their death, while the mourners remain unconscious. Being wild is a way of living, a protest against what no longer serves humanity, an act of rebellion against the establishment and a personal decision to break through each and every obstacle created by mankind to stop the beautiful expression of the self. 

And yet, the wild at heart, it's the most romantic of all. 

There's a common belief that in order to build something, first we must destroy something else. In architecture it works wonderfully, but as a person moves across life destroying or dismissing anything that imposes limitations or feels like imprisonment, and this is often the heart of others, it's a pattern not truly applied to people. In this case, what they destroy most is the themselves in the process of creating the self.

Being wild is a way to come of the comfort zone, to break from fear and to remember who someone really is through a series of mistakes. Mistakes that are being made because risks are taken, and while on occasion they might be wrong, it is no better to remain static within a system knowing that it is the system what's already wrong and broken. 

Risks challenge fear. Mistakes clears the path showing which direction not to take. 

To remain true to what someone already knows to be a lie, as it is the current system, is one sure way to never live, to never love, to never pursue, nor fulfill someone's dreams. People are considered wild because they refuse to buy the lie that the majority used to mortgage their lives, knowing well that in such reality they sacrifice most dreams and desires. If the current model proposed is so wonderful, why is no one happy with it?

If you walk the wild path, you will be criticised, even demonised; fingers will be pointed at you for your choices. Judgment and criticism is one of the main reasons people do not dare to live their dreams, but at this point it's essential to consider that everyone is criticised. What we are blamed for, it's a personal choice. What matters in the end is the sense of freedom, despite the strenuous efforts someone might have to make in order to free themselves from the lie and the hypocrisy of the world. 

It's a matter of staying true to the self or to become a shadow of who one is capable of being. Throughout history there have been a large number of people who were considered wild or mad, people who risked and lost either their freedom or their lives, sometimes both. There's no need to go to extremes and seek the heroic romanticism of the past. In order to remain free, one only needs to stop buying into the lie. This step is as simple as to stop leading a life in which materialism is more important than the spiritual or more important than your heart.

Being wild is a call that emerges deep from the heart; a call that everyone has, but not everyone follows. To criticise or to condemn those who chose to pursue the call of freedom instead of a complying with society's model is a symptom of the decease of dissatisfaction and depression that plagues the collective unconscious, which, while doing nothing creative to explore their hearts and souls, they have too much time to talk about others. A clear sign of the unhappiness that dazes the world. People who are happy leading their lives, don't have time, nor they'd waste it if they had it on personal choices or ways of living that do not affect them. 

It's too easy, as well as highly hypocritical to condemn the lost of innocent lives after a bombing, while the critic knows that their vote and support for a political party allowed certain people in power with no regards for human life in the first place. The terms to describe these characters are: sociopaths and psychopaths. It's not enough to say that the other party would have done the same. This is not just buying into the limitation, but to live happily unhappy within the lie. Until the bomb drops on their houses, that is!

It's only through self-exploration and the transformation of the self that the world will reach a higher state of consciousness and a sense of unity. Many social models have been proposed throughout history. Models that didn't work because people continue living their lives in the most unconscious and selfish ways, primarily caring only about themselves. To reach a state of higher consciousness, the sense of freedom, so as to embrace it all, to be and live in a permanent state of being in love, one must first face their fears. Being wild on a Friday evening binge drinking and misbehaving is not really being wild. One can be wild, peaceful and orderly.  

If you're seeking freedom at one point you will have to stand up, raise your voice and tell the world and your critics who you are. This is done by a way of living, by making a constant statement that confirms your commitment to yourself and your choices. Fear might appear and has to be faced, but it's even more scary to live an unhappy life. 

To be called wild or mad is not an insult, but a compliment. The wild at heart is a leader, a precursor like there have been so many before. A leader of their own fate that follows the vision and the feeling of freedom. Of course, it's a personal choice to follow the heart and manifest our deepest wishes and dreams. Don't ask yourself what you're losing if you don't stay. Ask yourself and envision where you'd be if you decided to follow your heart instead. 

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