A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet with a wonderful group of people as part of an ongoing learning process. As these experiences took place in a private space, being very personal to everyone, I cannot share with the public anything that relates to others or that indicate who they are. Sacred spaces must be respected at all times, shared and enjoyed with the participants while they last, but nurtured in a silent memory once the experience is over.
What I can tell from what I saw and experienced during those days, is that, it confirms that everyone is a student and a teacher. There is always something new to learn from everyone. It was also obvious that there is in fact hope for the world, its transformation and the raise of collective consciousness.
I can, however, share part of my experience, as it illustrates the practical side of the initial message: 'Waking Up The Goddess' written over a year ago. The scene takes place during a group study of the enneagram's subtype sexual four (S4) and its character and personality. According to the enneagram there are nine different types of personality, and each one is divided in three subtypes to allow anyone the study of their character.
The group was formed by three women and myself. The purpose of the meeting was to find positive ways in which to transcend character and personality, so as to continue evolving in our personal development. The call for humility was unanimous.
The downfall of the S4 is that everything and everyone is more important than themselves, thus engaging in a life of constant work and giving to others. In order to do so, the level of work and productivity is relentless, to the extreme of neglecting to care of themselves and sacrificing all comfort. What's important is the final product, never the self. The end result to their work might be extraordinary; the consequences to this type of behaviour is exhaustion and a heavy toll in their personal lives.
As I am not an expert on the enneagram and it is not the topic of this blog post, I can only recommend a book that offers thorough information on the subject and different types of personality: 'Character and Neurosis: An Integrative View' by Claudio Naranjo.
What called my attention during the meeting was their selfless dedication, love and kindness. Clearly these women couldn't see the humility they already had and were expressing, but it was obvious that it was present. Minutes within the conversation I felt at home. The feeling of trust in them, their words and decisions were so overwhelming, that at that point I would have given them the remote control to re-organise the world if such thing had existed. There was no doubt in me that within a week, this world would be a much better place.
Even though I participated in the conversation, I was happy to take a step back and listen. They were doing a great job leading, and spoke with one voice. Not that they needed my permission or anyone else's to lead. At that moment I would have provided them with support and provide those simple things that they deny themselves on a daily basis so they coulld continue working. Furthermore, I had to attend a different session. Not only they told me where to go; they took me there and made sure I was on time.
The session continued without me. We never discussed the rest of the session or if I had different impressions to add before the presentation the day after. Minutes before the presentation it was suggested that I spoke for the group. I suggested that one of them talked instead. I didn't know what their conclusion had been, but I trusted that it would be the right one. My contribution was mentioned briefly, even though they spoke as a group.
The key elements in this situation speak clearly of the need of support, so as to allow women to improve, expand and find alternatives to a world that seems to have run out of them. Their first intention was to improve themselves. If we want to change the world, first we have to change ourselves. Through dialogue and contribution they presented a convincing voice. There was never an argument or disagreement; just dialogue and perspective.
While the spiritual path might be deeply related to a set of beliefs and abstracts, hardly any of these principles work without practical steps. In this sense, the message of Waking Up The Goddess is to achieve a balance of male and female energy. For this to happen, the practical step to follow is for men, and the current male energy to take a step back or two. The male energy is transgressive. Not only we ran out out ideas, we're arrogantly moving forward with the same ones without questioning neither methods, nor results. Moving forward does not equal to advancing. We're not. To see this, one only needs to take a look at the situation the world is in. For men to meet women in a place that allows equality and integration, we must clear the space, so others can bring a new voice and energy.
At the same time it is important to emphasise once again, that for the world to transform, both men and women must work together. Women are inclusive and happy to facilitate answers and integrative solutions for everyone. There is a reason why more women than men are engaged in personal development and spirituality, and it is during the experiences previously described that it is evident that women will change the world. One must experience it and see it to know what I'm referring to.
The new role of the men is to support and contribute to such transformation. It is up to conscious men to share the message and educate other men to take a step back; to begin to lead a life of cooperation, love and mutual respect. Men can only see themselves in the eyes of a woman. As long as the light in the eyes of women is dimmed and not allowed to express love, the world will only continue moving towards its destruction, as well as deepening into the regression of the species.
It is sad, almost tragic to see that in order to break through, women are adopting some of the negative traits of the male energy, such as arrogance or competition, thus losing femininity.
In this moment in history, humanity has the power to manifest a new collective consciousness or to move towards the dark ages again. In order to accomplish this, we must begin to make collective choices from a new platform of respect, cooperation, equality and love.
The glorified era of individualism must end. One does not have to renounce to their individuality, but to the glorification of it. We're not that special after all. Everyone is special and has something to offer that others cannot. This doesn't make us more or less special, just different, and an essential part of the whole.The deification of individuality is leading to a new era of isolation in which individuals will not be able to communicate with others face to face, and consequently to loneliness will become endemic.
Men have to begin to accept their feminine side, so as to attract, develop such energy, and to live in balance between the practical and the spiritual, with a softer voice and a more human touch. This is achieved through humility, and perhaps considering that after all, we do not know it all, we just assumed we do because once upon a time patriarchy told us we did.
Eventually we will all recognise that The Goddess is each man and each woman and that this is a creative energy within that we have been suppressing for centuries, with the excuse to achieve. There's no need to look back to see that we achieved very little. Instead we're merely surviving. Perhaps, only perhaps it's time for a change. When you're ready.
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Paradoxically, one of the biggest obstacles to overcome in personal development is self-truth. Even when one is consciously seeking it, self-knowledge is not easy to accept. There's a moment in childhood in which everyone separates from love. From this moment on we become accustomed to a series of lies that become part of a personal truth that it is reinforced unconsciously. As we separate from love, what one learns instead is fear. As we grow up ego, personality and character are formed, and as such lessons become familiar, they're accepted as part of the norm.
As one reaches certain age, jealousy, sense of possession and entitlement, envy, anger, hate or arrogance are accepted as unmovable truths. These traits are hardly admitted, and are even denied by most people. When accepted publicly, such truths only serve to boost the ego and a false personality. Sometimes denial is due to lack of awareness, sometimes it is conscious. No one wants to admit to negative traits as part of their character, and yet, we all embody them at one point in life.
It is easy to confuse self-confidence with arrogance, jealousy with love, or envy with the will to improve and develop. Validating anger due to past events in a world that on the surface seems to have lost its humanity is normal and even accepted by the masses, as if hardship in our personal history was the obvious and only attitude to adopt in later years. There's nothing wrong with feeling and thinking in such ways. We must experience these feelings and emotions until we realise that they no longer serve us. There is a moment in life when almost everyone is willing to let go of old attitudes, so as to embrace new ones in later years.
Admitting to self-truth requires courage, not only to accept it as what we are not, but to go through the feelings and emotions that consequently appear once such negative traits come to light. These emotions are not always easy to handle, as we enter a new phase of self-awareness. Knowing what to do during these periods is essential in order not to be overwhelmed by it. Admitting to certain truths can lead to misunderstanding who we are, and could end in depression. It is important to remember that we are not born jealous, angry or arrogant, that these are learned traits from childhood, and that as we realise that this is not who we are, a new life begins. To admit to a new truth, thus revoking a past lie, is a portal to a new you.
You might have made mistakes due to certain attitudes in the past, but the greatest mistake would be not to accept a new truth that allows you to evolve. We are allowed to change at any time, and it is in fact our responsibility to improve and heal. Don't let others keep you in the past. Everyone makes mistakes. No one has the right to hold us accountable for the rest of our lives due to our mistakes. If they did, this might be a good time to close a few doors that are holding you back. Mistakes are made to learn from the experience. Without experience we cannot develop.
Acknowledging that for most of our lives we accepted a lie as truth must be considered as a step forward, not a reason to give ourselves a hard time. In self-development, often taking a step back equals to moving forward. It requires periods of isolation, self-reflection and silence.
Everywhere there is a vortex in which can enter in order to transform. Accepting our own truth is one of them. There are truths that are harder to accept than others. As we enter the vortex, we might also enter a period of darkness. Self-development must be understood as an adventure, a fairy tale. Not everything can be light. We must embrace the darkness; first to adapt, then to adopt a new truth. Replacing a past truth with a new one might require a period of adaptation.
Let's take this new phase as a long walk in a deep, dark forest, with not so bright days and long nights. Although it is a new territory, it might also feel familiar. This is the time to take baby steps towards a better life. Accepting a new truth most certainly carries along with it, a time in which we feel vulnerable and weaker. Vulnerability must be allowed. Eventually it makes us stronger. We must not confuse this new stage with depression.
Depression only takes over when we resist and try to move forward too fast. There's no rush. Let's embrace the darkness, make it ours and find the light within. Where there's darkness, there's also light. Love and light are always within every human being; going through darkness is a pathway to reach them.
There might be sadness, anxiety, self-loathing, hopelessness, guilt or shame, reasons for which one could interpret it a depression. This is not who you are either. It's a trap, a mirage that if allowed to flow brings transformation. Be patient and take care of yourself. The answers are there and close to come by.
This is also be a period in which an extended silence is recommended. As we take baby steps, we might also need to re-adjust our language, change habitual expressions and learn to communicate our message to the world in different ways. A new truth is a new beginning and for the transformation to become complete we must articulate it in different ways. There is no limit to what we can transform. From language, to body, thinking, work or diet, to the simplest change in our daily routine.
It is a good idea to stop trying to explain the changes we're going through to others, especially to our loved ones and those closest to us. This is a period of self-reflection and adjustment. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. At this point you can strengthen your boundaries by letting others know that you are going through powerful changes and you don't need to talk about it. All you need is time to readjust. Choose your company carefully. Not everyone you know wants to see you developing into a better version of yourself.
Be gentle with yourself: rest, meditate, follow a healthy diet, exercise, sleep as often as needed and take time to be alone. Treat yourself. When tempted with distractions, self-medication or socialising, ask yourself if this is what you need at the time. Almost everyone would be lured by the possibility to avoid darkness, but it is important to consider that it is in this darkness where new secrets and new truths lie. Spirituality and self-development often require solitary periods.
It is essential not to oppose resistance to the feelings and emotions that you'll find in darkness. They're here to teach you new truths, not to torture you. Feeling the shadows is a necessary step in self-development. Without feeling, there's no transformation. If at times you feel overwhelmed, find healthy ways in which to take a break from it, and above all, make sure that whatever you choose to do is something that you want to do and that you're not led to by others. Not everyone is in the same emotional spot, as not many would understand even when explained to them.
Try and imagine that this a cocoon phase and that by the end you'll come out alive with new colours and a new truth to a better life. We must remain calm during these changes, as these new feelings and emotions are also temporary before the new dawn of the self comes to life.
In darkness is not always possible to see what the next step will be. Take a break, pause, breathe, sit down, have a cup of your favourite drink and allow yourself to just be. That's all you need; being. Don't try to resist it, and don't try to escape it. Escaping from it now will only bring more of the same later on, only that multiplied.
Remember that this is your path, your adventure. Be flexible with it. Make your own choices. Use your imagination, be creative, follow your heart and your intuition. This blog post is intended to create awareness, not to direct you anywhere. You are the leader of your own life and you can only get where you are meant to be by following your own steps. Be confident and courageous. More mistakes will be made followed by new lessons, but they'd yours. Own it and continue moving forward. Trust yourself and shed a few tears if you must. Even in darkness we can find freedom.
The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.
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More on twin flames: 'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'
Photo: Carolina Flower