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Men, Feelings And Emotions: The Freedom In Tears.

From the moment a human being is defined by gender, a child is destined to fulfill a set of responsibilities predetermined by the traditions of patriarchal society. From that moment on, a child is educated in order to fit the role of a boy or a girl, as if to tick all the bullet points of a job description to eventually fill a job vacancy. 

I wrote extensively about the upbringing of a boy in 'Men And Fear Of Commitment', and those who might be interested in a more in depth description you can read the blog post, but today is not about fear or commitment. True commitment is unknown to most men and women. While it is true that a larger number of men fear commitment, it is also a fact that it is a cliché. Men strive to commit; we just don't know how. What we lack is what we seek. 

In essence, childhood for a boy is similar to a boot camp, a ground in which we are supposed to grow strong, tough and unemotional. As we grow up we hear the expression 'boys don't cry' repeatedly, thus learning to fear feelings and emotions. Men, regardless of who we are or what we have become have feelings and emotions like women do, but it is a fact that we have learned to contained them and move through life still behaving in the artificial way we were taught to be. For a man, admitting that he has feelings or emotions is like betraying the idea of being a man, somehow renouncing to everything we have learned to be. Of course, this does not apply to every living man, as many have already opened their eyes to a new level of awareness and consciousness. 

Every experience we have in life has an energetic influence in each individual regardless of gender. This includes every lesson we learn in life. When a lie is told over and over, it becomes truth. The fact that society has accepted such lie as truth, does not make it less of a lie. Humankind has accepted this premise as a fact, as society has integrated many other lies.

With every experience we go through, we store energy in the body. Our lives are recorded in the energy accumulated. Negative experiences cause personal expression to contract, while positive experiences allow us to expand. In a sense, the negative energy works as a tool of control that has been installed in the body throughout life, limiting the individual in their actions. 

The reality is not that men have no feelings, but that we have been trained to avoid emotions, particularly those who are clear exhibits of weakness, such as crying. Boys don't cry. Be a man. Therefore, a man always has to strive to be the best and the strongest, constantly competing with other men and society as a whole. The contracting energy grows stronger, increasingly coercing feelings, personal development and bringing upon individuals an array of ailments, such as depression or illness. 

Our feelings become more aggressive and/or negative. Anger, guilt or shame take over and rule our lives. Although it does not happen to every single person, there is a point in which a man breaks down and tired of being strong. Even the strongest man needs a break sometimes. Men fear to admit to this, as there is still a social stigma, and once someone is tagged with depression or anxiety, he might as well have been tagged as weak member of society and paraded shamefully in public. 

There is so much pressure an individual can take, and a limit to the negative energy a body can store. A man might cry in private never admitting to it, as the belief that we have to be strong at all times is the only socially acceptable option. The longer we fight our feelings, the greater the fall will be. The only way to healing is by accepting our vulnerability and feel our emotions. 

With the new generations, more men are opening to the idea of expressing feelings and emotions, and following the call of the soul. Healing happens when we feel, as when we feel, we release these energies. It is widely accepted for a man to be angry and blame society for making him this way, somehow forgetting that we are the ones who make this society and the only ones who can change it. Blaming society as a whole is like washing our hands from any responsibility. Change only occurs when we take responsibility, raise awareness and promote and live the change. No one else will take action for us. 

As human beings, we have been given feelings and emotions, because we are suppose to experience life and who we are through feeling. Being unfeeling and unemotional deprives us from the human experience and takes some of us to behave inhumanely. It also separates us from our divine nature, preventing humanity from experiencing love and the magic and miracles of life. 

Every man has feelings. We might feel uncomfortable expressing a feeling or emotion. We might mistake a feeling with a thought, but this is due to the education promoted by patriarchal society that we have received. There is a special interest in keeping humanity unfeeling and removed from the true essence of the soul. It is easier to control the masses when we live in fear. 

The answer to freedom are in all the tears we never shed as boys and as men, and the best example I can think to depict what the experience is like, is my own. Years ago I signed for a spiritual retreat. Before I attended the retreat I had to write an autobiography. The part that is relevant in this case, is when wrote that I missed the child that I used to be and everything that represented to me. I felt I lost that child forever. 

The last day of the retreat while sitting on a panel before leaving, I was listening to someone else speaking about the experience we had been through. There was a moment in which I felt again as that 6 year old child that I believe it has disappeared. It was a regression to childhood, which manifested through intention and desire. That day, I could neither hold the tears, nor I wanted to and I cried in front of everyone. Tears of happiness, but still tears. Something a man is not supposed to do according to many. 

As a child, I trained myself not to cry. I was not going to give anyone the pleasure to see they got the best of me. I moved through adolescence and adulthood without tears. Sometimes I felt so much pressure accumulated that I wished I could have cried, but there was still too much resistance in me to allow it, somehow retaining that sense of false pride in being strong. What I know from that experience is that after crying in public my life changed, as those tears were the door to the path of my spiritual freedom. 

Before that moment, I lived in a prison in which I was, both, prisoner and jailor. Escaping was as simple as making myself vulnerable, breaking my obstinate resistance to feeling and allow tears to roll down. There were more tears after that day, and with each tear, a greater sense of freedom. This freedom today is represented by inner peace, love and the experience of being in love, and this feeling is worth a few tears every now and then.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

A Practical Method To Listen To Your Inner Voice.

This is a practical exercise that allows to reconnect with the higher self, so as to listen to what you really have to say, not to what the mind keeps constantly telling you. The voice of the higher self is firm, confident and kind. It is an excellent opportunity to clear your mind of unwanted thoughts and to gain a sense of direction. 

Be prepared to listen to things you might not want to hear, but that eventually will help you to overcome doubts, worries and fears. It will also help you to let go of the obstacles that are holding you back from advancing in your journey. Even if that answers you might hear are not what you were looking for, the message you are to receive is loving and comforting. This is your inner voice and the voice of your best friend.

Depending on the depth you reach in this experience you could hear simple messages or to have an entire conversation. The message of the higher self is the same for everyone. We all have access to it at anytime we wish to connect, although it will talk to you in a language that you understand. This is an exercise of light work. The message is the voice of the being of light you are, but which you might have forgotten. What you get from the experience depends on how much you invest in it. 

  • Make time for it, as if of a ceremony or ritual in which you are going to honour yourself. You will need to be alone and make sure that you are not going to be interrupted. Disconnect phones or any other gadgets that might cause interruptions. If you live with other people, let them know that you are not  to be disturbed. If you have a family with children, ask your partner to allow for this moment to happen. Make sure that you have no responsibilities to attend or any chores to do for the rest of the day. Making time for this exercise is essential.
  • Have a healthy an abundant breakfast. During the next few hours drink plenty of water. It is very important that you are well hydrated. It is advisable to drink more water than you usually would. Water is a conductor and makes breathing much easier. Skip lunch. The lighter your body feels, the stronger and faster the connection will be. If you are well hydrated and keep drinking water, you should not be hungry. You can eat again once the exercise is over. 
  • Wait until is dark or recreate a dark atmosphere in the bedroom you are going to use. Use your bedroom or a room in which you can be alone. Lie down and make yourself comfortable. Make sure you are warm. Use candles or a dim light if necessary, although there is no need to see anything. You might want to close your eyes. This is a time to listen. You are going home, within.
  • Relax your body and focus your attention in this moment only. Don't try to anticipate what is coming. 
  • Take gentle, deep breaths regularly until it feels natural. Keep breathing while relaxing your body. Keep hydrating if you have to. Feel the sensations in your body. This process could take minutes or even hours. Don't allow the waiting to make you anxious. This is a time for you to be alone and do nothing. The breathing will help your body to relax and if you have hydrated properly, the process will be easier.
  • When you feel that it is appropriate, increase the intensity of the breathing. If you are breathing naturally, the air should reach your stomach. Keep doing this for as long as it is necessary. If you have never listened to your inner voice before, this exercise might makes you feel new sensations in your body and your mind. You might also experience the feeling that your body is disappearing.
  • As the inner voice appears, keep breathing. If you don't it is very likely that it reminds you. It will tell you to keep breathing and to stop thinking. Just listen to it. You may ask questions. Remember that this is a silent conversation with yourself. 

When the inner voice appears, it will tell you what you need to know at the time and what you are ready to hear. The effect that abundance of water and air will have in your body will help to stop the thinking process and calm the mind. As this experience is different for everyone, once you have started follow your intuition and make it your experience. Be flexible and above all, be patient. 

Once the experience is over you might want to write down what you hear. It is better to keep quite for the rest of the day and not to talk too much afterwards, but this is your experience, so do with it as you please. If the exercise is successful, you will feel a sense of relief immediately. 

The voice that you are going to hear is the voice to personal transformation and freedom; the path towards universal truth. Your commitment to it is what will make a difference in your life. As usual, it is your choice.It's always your choice.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

In The Quest Of Fear: Understanding And Overcoming Fear.

I remember reading a short story when I was about four years old entitled 'Fearless John'. I was alone, and at that age I could already read and write. For those who are not familiar with the story, 'Fearless John' is a young man who goes on a journey to discover fear. In the version I read, he was just a child slightly older than I was at the time. The ultimate fear he must face is represented by a dragon that he kills by the end. Along the way, he also sees ghosts he bravely chases and a big, scary bear. What I associated most with and had an immediate influence on me, was how calm John appeared to be in the face of fear. Nothing moved him.

Not too far from that day I was going to need all the courage anyone could gather in order to go through what was coming next. John became a symbol, and an equal to me. Being educated by the-hand-that-knew-it-all', as I was; childhood turned into a living hell. There was a moment of intense fear that changed everything, but as it was part of the daily routine, the only way to survive it was to bury it as deep as I could. And so I did. From that moment on, I would not only not fear anything, but I went on looking for it, somehow knowing that fear was just an illusion. As we separate from love, the soul strives to find it again. Fear was still present, but the urge to go through it was much stronger. 

Fear is a very difficult emotion to recognise because in the same way that we begin to forget love at such an early stage, we can also bury it as if it had never existed. From that moment on, fear appears in many different forms: worry, doubt, anxiety, panic attacks and a long list of manifestations which prolong the living hell in our lives. But these are merely sub-products of fear. There is, however, a percentage of us who feel this fear throughout their lives and feel it all the time. They tend to be those who are constantly on the run and master the art of masking it. But not so much so. It is a very recognisable characteristic in them.

I am sharing my story, as it illustrates how powerful a child can be in creating their reality and what we choose to call fate. We create our future, as well as calling for the all the experiences we need in order to learn what we want to know. No one else can be blamed for what happens to us throughout life, even if at times we believe that our circumstances depend heavily on the actions of others. There are of course, behaviours and attitudes against children that are inexcusable and one should never be put through them. Although, the point is that we attract these experiences,but we only see it when we take responsibility for our lives and search for our own truth. For as long as we are entertained or distracted by details and what others did, our truth remains silent.

With the burial of fear, the inner child is born. The inner child signs an unilateral contract, in such an imperceptible and unconscious way, that as we grow up and become adults we forget the decision we made. When this contract is signed; the terms and conditions of the world do not matter, and if someone tries to impose them on us, we explode on infantile tantrums regardless of age. When a child writes this contract, both, the child and the contract remain stuck in the period that was agreed upon. We grow up and forget.

The inner child has the answer and he or she wants to see real commitment in the process of transformation before they reveal the secret that has the key to personal freedom and love.

As the world runs on fear and in order to cover up the traumatic moment in which we experienced it for the first time, we learn to fear other things, adapting to the trend of the period. Each era has a particular set of fears on its menu. Superstitious fears such as God, Satan, witches and broken mirrors have become topics to inspire literature and cinema, but are hardly followed or believed by the masses in contemporary society. As humanity has lost faith and belief in religion, the fears we face these days relate to more practical terms such as homelessness, money, job loss, etc. The collective consciousness speaks; we listen and believe anything it says.

With the exception of fear of violence and death, the more superficial society becomes, the more superficial our fears are. Our existential dilemmas are now muddled up with money, status, housing or simply finding romantic love, ignoring the influence that our deepest feelings and emotions have in controlling our lives. As an example, fear of loneliness finds multiple distractions in developed societies. 

Everything we fear, we learn from others, remaining with us until we gain the necessary awareness that allows us to challenge it. It is a long journey through the desert filled with doubts, worries and anxieties trying to find our place in the world. 

Not been able to feel fear it is very difficult to foresee the consequences of our actions, as it was in my case, taking unnecessary risks that came along with greater repercussions. The constant search for fear, somehow knowing that there is nothing to fear becomes a way of living. One can still feel fear and seek situations in which we experience it first hand. It is a sordid way to become alive seeking shadows. Both, fear and the actions we take, so as to face fear, are completely irrational.

However, this behaviour does not lead to a satisfactory life. Like any other addiction it becomes a distraction. Every fear we learn continues being represented in our lives, money, body image or relationships, to name a few, in which we fail again and again. The thrill is sought as a distraction, but there is more: once the situation is over, there is a period to come down, like with any other drug. It is a time for reflection in which we feel a false sense of peace. It is not the peace that we seek, but one of relief that comes after a time of turmoil, knowing that we got away with it. 

In order to overcome fear, we must face each fear we have. Going through the experience is the only way in which we can realise that this is not fear, but only an illusion. Choose your fear and face it. One of the most common fears is public speaking. As children no one has a problem talking in public. At that time we do not have the self-awareness that prevents us from expressing our true selves in a public situation. Prepare a talk, find the audience and give the talk if this is one of your fears. You might shake and be terrified for a while, but as you move through the experience you will see that what was holding you back was you and the thoughts you had anticipating a situation of inadequacy and not being good enough. 

The key elements in this process are two: the more we face fear, the easier it gets until it disappears. The other one, and perhaps the most important, is the fact that the situation which served our awareness to learn fear is that this was a situation which had an overwhelming impact on a child. Fears and demons are born and grow from that moment. We are no longer that child and our fear has lost its strength, but we only know this when we face it. 

In the journey of return to love, we face one fear after another, as if we were drilling through our being until we find the source of fear, which we have almost certainly forgotten. Courage and love are much stronger sources of energy in a human being, as well as being abundant in all of us. 

In order to manifest fear, we have to invoke it, call for it and reproduce it. However, it is not going back to our parents to scream at them so as to show how strong we have become. This is a cathartic experience that must be done with the appropriate people in a safe environment. It is not about getting back at anyone, but to move forward as we separate from the emotion.

As it is a long process, this blog post is intended to create awareness and help you to draw your own conclusions from your personal experience. There are ways in which to recreate fear in order to go through it with assistance, and this is a service I provide, but I believe that everyone can face their own fears and move through them, with intention, courage and determination. 

In my experience, I invoked my fear, as I knew that  I would find love beyond it. It was an experience that went on for two days. When I felt it and experienced it, it was not what I expected or what I thought it was. It went deeper and back to my childhood. For a minute or two, fear was so powerful that I was paralysed by it, but at that stage I had regressed to a six year old child. Fear is the darkest thing I've ever seen. It is complete blackness.Within two minutes it was gone. Then, there was love, only love. 

It was a long and arduous process, but it was worth every penny, every tear and every feeling of pain and suffering. We do it in the name of fear every day, why should we not do it in the pursuit of love?

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Running Away From Relationships: What Happened Next.

Relationships are never easy. After the 'honeymoon' period, everything seems to go down the hill; nothing seems to be the same as it was before and at some point the relationship might end. The type of break-up I want to discuss today does not apply to everyone, even though there are parts in this article that will resonate with almost everyone who has had gone through the experience of a break up. This is the relationship that ends when two people are still in love. Sometimes being in love is not enough to keep a relationship going.

Recently I have been writing about twin flames. If you were interested in the subject you can find the links to each blog post at the end of this one. Even though what I have to say would be very appropriate to explain what happens when twin flames separate, I believe it is important to separate from ready made terms and treat relationships in a more organic way without the tags of cultural identity. 

The case I am to discuss today is that of the runner, the person who even when they are in love, they feel the urge to end the relationship without a reasonable explanation. They will make you believe that everything that is wrong in the relationship is you, and its termination will most likely be very abrupt. From one day to the other you will find yourself from being with the love of your life, to be completely alone, a sense of being completely worthless and the feeling that you will never see that person again. Yet, you know that they love you.

The runner is afraid of commitment, as for them, this is a form of control and loss of who they are at the moment. They have an unwritten book filled with tricks and traps that work as a defense mechanism. It is impossible not to fall into some of this traps. The more calm and accepting you are of their behaviour, they more aggressive the traps will be. One of these traps will push one of your buttons and that is the only excuse that is needed. 

The runner is a person who has experienced either abuse, lack of love or an incredible amount of suffering during childhood. It could be anyone. Even those who seem to have had the most comfortable upbringing may be a runner. They enter the relationship with the same passion that they leave it. It is important to understand that for them, leaving is a necessity, not something they really want to do. Survival instinct prevails over their love for the other person. They don't know better and for as long as they refuse to face their demons, they never will.

Being a runner does not make anyone a bad person. Often they tend to be beautiful souls with the kindest hearts, but the internal conflicts created by the emotional attachment to someone else in a romantic relationship makes them wonder about their new status and wander off sooner of later. It is important to understand that a relationship is a mirror reflecting everything we need to know about ourselves at the time. In these reflections we see what we want to improve, what we don't like about ourselves and what we want to get rid of, but we also see what we love most and it is best about ourselves.

The runner is fast to act and they will take the first opportunity that is presented to run away, so as to never come back. They move from relationship to relationship with the same insulting ease and passion. No relationship can end their internal struggles unless they decide to stay and work on it. In a relationship they feel trapped. A mixture of loss of identity, fear of losing independence and entrapment falls hard on their hearts. There is almost an immediate need for air and freedom that seems to escape from them with the first sign of affection. It is a contradiction to which they have voluntarily adhered their feelings and their hearts.

A relationship triggers feelings and emotions that act on the subconscious, bringing out all their demons to dance wild all at once. However much they love you, the feeling of self-preservation is even stronger. Escaping from a relationship has to be understood from the perspective that this is their way to find love. Most of us still don't know what the true feeling of love is even when we believe we do; hence the runner should also remain blameless.

At this point, leaving is the only option they can see. They leave even if it breaks their hearts; and they do break their hearts along with yours. With every heart they break, their heart breaks again and again, but it is easier to love someone from the distance than to face their demons and fears so as to heal from their traumas. They don't leave you because they don't love you. They do love you, but they also live in fear of love behind a sheltered heart. Perhaps the most damaging knowledge we can have when they separate is to know that they are still in love when they do so. The urge to run induced by a mechanism of self-preservation is too strong a feeling and they must follow. 

If you have been in this situation and have been abandoned without a reasonable explanation, know that however much you suffer, they suffer as much as you do and even more. Running away from a relationship is not running away from another person, but from themselves. The more they do it, the more they are going to suffer until there is no place to hide. Eventually they probably settle for someone who is safe, someone who does not bring the emotions that someone else to whom they truly love might bring up in a relationship.

They will never love this person as much as they loved others, but as fear of love is what rules their lives, not loving someone completely makes them feel safe, as emotions don't run high. For a while loneliness seems less overwhelming in the company of another, and as a half-felt relationship does not present strong emotions, they choose to remain. Deep inside, they still struggle with the idea of love and remain looking for it. No one is safe in a relationship with the runner.

The problem with running away from a relationship is that as we do, we are separating ourselves from who we are even further. We are here to love and be loved. Life is a journey in which we must learn love. Running away from love is the opposite to what we must do, however difficult it might be to accept at the time.

When the relationship is over, the shock is equally powerful to the runner, as it is to the one who has been left behind. It will send them to their darkest hours, an earthly limbo in which love does not exist and where they will find reasons to keep blaming you for everything that went wrong. Although they will never blame you directly, this is the feeling you will be left with. If you are not strong enough, you might spend the  rest of your life trying to figure out what happened. Don't! Stop asking questions that do not have answers. It will make your life easier. No matter how hard you try to find logic, there is neither logic, nor an explanation to it.

We don't have to understand everything, and the behaviour of others is certainly something we have no control over. We might be able to understand the process and a behaviour which is common to many, reason for which I am writing this blog, but to understand the inextricable thought and feeling processes of another will only lead to disappointment and to perpetuate the period of heartbreak.

There is one person in the life of the runner to whom they left behind and to whom they know they must return in order to heal, but they will find many excuses not to. This person might be you. If it doesn't happen in this lifetime, they will have to come back in the next. Infinity does not allow anyone to get away with separation from love. The situation will recreate again and again until both parts learn the true meaning and feeling of love during their human existence.

What the runner does not understand is that being with this person is essential in order to heal. If you are the runner, know that there is no place to go and that sooner or later you must return to that person who made you feel at home. And you know that this is only one person. In order to heal we must all go through the experience of pain, but suffering is optional. For as long as all we see and feel is pain, we miss a wonderful world of love and magic. Love is behind this pain, behind fear.

Energetically, the runner remains attached to a person. When this happens, regardless of how much they want to hide, there will always be something that will evoke thoughts, feelings and dreams of that one person they left behind. The energetic connection is very real, too powerful and one from which no one can escape. Thus, running away is only an illusion. Being in love is the only place where we belong. Running away from it, might seem sensible at the time, but it only leads to an even more entangled spiral of self-destruction.

At the same time, if the runner settles in a 'safe' relationship, the person they are with will feel that their longing for love is elsewhere. This new person is moved by the intention to save the the runner, which it itself speaks of their own lack of self-love, but will find multiple ways to rationalise it in order to maintain the relationship.

If you feel that you have been abandoned by the runner, know that they also have abandoned themselves. In order to heal their wound, you must keep loving them or at least that part of them that once touched your heart. To despise them will have the opposite effect than to what is intended. We don't keep loving the runner with the romantic obsession depicted in films. We love them because we deserve peace and freedom. If there was love once, love must remain. Only unconditional love can heal a broken heart. Be happy that their soul once danced with your soul. To them it means much more than what you may imagine, even if abandonment has given you the impression that their ephemeral love means nothing. The runner loves intensely, and it is this intensity that makes them leave.

If it very possible that if you have been suddenly abandoned by someone, you feel devastated and broken. Overcoming these feelings are crucial for your healing. Perhaps the person who left you is the that one person to for you would have done anything. When we say to someone, I love you and I'd do anything for you, sometimes that 'anything' means to let go. And that is unconditional love. In order to understand unconditional love, we must experience it, thus, the importance of letting go.

If you are the runner; perhaps it is time that you stop running away. However difficult it might seem to deal with your demons, it is always easier with that person who once touched you, as no one else did before. You know who they are, you know where they are. And it is safe, for this is love and this is home, where you belong. Home is the only place where you will find the door to love.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Separating From The Twin Flame: The End And Beginning Of Friendship.

Falling in love is the most beautiful feeling a human being can experience. After all, in love is the place where we all belong and the state to which everyone wants to return. Meeting with your twin flame will bring you a mixed feeling of ecstasy and relief. Life is finally giving you a break, a moment to breathe. The twin flame immediately becomes your best friend. No longer there is a need to hide. We can relax and express ourselves in the way we really are. This is the person we have been looking for all our lives through the memory of something we have never experienced, but which is very alive in all of us.

This memory is used by some people as an emotional map to move through life in search of that person with the feeling that we already know them. In 'Calling In The One: In The Quest Of Love', I wrote the simplicity and description of such process. Unfortunately, most people give up on this memory, the idea and the feeling to settle for someone else and a safe life. A safe life is what we have been taught to believe in, even though there is not safety in safe. However, renouncing to the memory does not remove the feeling or the hope of the twin flame, leading to a deep sense of dissatisfaction.

Most people will not meet their twin flame for this reason. In order to meet with them we need to go on an adventure, to look actively, not for a physical person, but for healing and enlightenment. The twin flame will appear when we believe, trust and hope with our hearts, not with our minds. In the person we find friendship, someone we can trust with the truth of who we are.

In a world where no one seems to trust anyone else, the encounter with a friend feels like Nirvana, only that we rely on another person to arrive there. The journey to Nirvana however is something we do alone. Being with another person brings comfort, support and encouragement, but we must always remember that the answer is within and that for as long as we see the answer in another person, we will never get there.

Friendship with a twin flame never ends even when our paths separate and we never see them again. Both still remain loyal to the idea and the feeling of us. There is no revenge once the relationship ends. They might never want to talk to us again in this lifetime, but love remains behind a sheltered heart. The relationship with a twin flame can be so overwhelming and intense that at one point there is no choice but to put a physical end to it.

The end of friendship takes over, along with a feeling of desolation and that we will never find what we want or another person who can make us feel better than they did. This feeling could be with us for years to come, turning our emotional world into a desert in which we want one person only. This might be the person who never wants to see us again, our twin flame, and this definitely won't happend for as long as we remain in our current state of consciousness.

However, this is not the end of friendship. It only appears to be so. There are a few facts that we miss when this happens. One is understanding heartbreak and how essential it is to go through it in order to finally heal. The first step is acceptance.

There is also a need to continue expressing ourselves as we are; to stop hiding as we used to do before we met our twin flame. Our expression should not be devoted to one person only, but to the entire world and the universe. What we look for is the universal; universal and unconditional love, therefore we must continue expressing ourselves without fear. By expressing who we are to the world, we end with the need to hide. There is nothing to hide. Our secrets are not so secret after all, and while we might have the impression that we are somehow special and different, everyone else is also different and special and they are most likely struggling with similar issues. The more we express ourselves as we are to others, the sooner we will find our true expression. 

However, it is important to differentiate in between the expression of the soul and the expression of the ego. The soul speaks in a language that allows us to feel vulnerable, so as to separate from social conditioning and to find love within. The ego, we all know, is what brought us to the place where we are now and what created the struggle. As we separate from the twin flame, we must also separate from the dictate of ego. It is the resistance of ego what creates separation. It is a personal choice to continue allowing ego to the rule our lives, or to allow a path of responsibility, fun and humbleness. There characteristics, the ego does not know of. 

The end of physical friendship is perhaps the most devastating aspect of separation. We no longer have a friend we can confide our deepest wishes and fears. But this is also the perfect time to build a relationship with ourselves, so as to realise that the friend we are truly looking for is within us and not in another person. It is essential that we remove the idea of another person as the saviour. The best friend we could ever have is within. For as long as we look for the answer outside, we will never find the real answer. We are the answer.  

However wonderful the time with a twin flame has been, what made us feel so wonderful and liberated was not entirely the physical contact, but the fact that we expressed our true feelings and emotions to someone else. There is, somehow, a natural reaction to closing down to others and the world, as if preserving all our beauty for the return of the twin flame. If there is not a true expression of the self, we recede into a state of seclusion in which the soul feels incarcerated. Let's regain our freedom by continuing to express ourselves in ways the make us feel alive, as if that person was still with us. It is a way to honour them, the self and all the unexpressed love we hold within. Saving love for a special occasion will prevent us from expressing it when it matters.

The soul cannot be damaged by anyone. This is nothing but a human feeling created by social conditioning. We don't owe our lives to one person, but to ourselves and the universe, including everyone else in the world. Find your true expression through creativity and love. This is what makes you attractive and what gives you the opportunity to find yourself. Closing to the world, also stops all chances we might have to find true love with another person. 

This new period without the twin flame is ideal to find self-love, so as to finally realise that the friend we are looking for is the self. Let's begin to treat ourselves as such and allow the soul to express itself freely. You already know what you do to stop the soul from being free. Let's not allow the temporary feeling of immediate gratification to govern our lives. To be our own best friend, we must act like one. And the only way we can do this is with love and self-love. Only when we truly love ourselves, we can love others and attract that person we really want to be with. It might not be who we thought it might be, but to love, this is a small detail of no importance. 

If love does not come to us, it is only because we are not open to love. It is time to let go of the idea of how it should be and to allow what it is. There will be a time for reunion. We just have to trust on divine timing. Until then, let's make the most of it.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

The Price Tag: The Consequences Of The Male/Female Inequality In The Work Place And Worldwide.

Gender inequality is present in all social strata and can be found anywhere in the world. Although financial inequality is not the most important, it is given much more attention that it deserves and it is used as another tool to control the masses. Money has become a lesser god in which we don't believe, but in which we put a lot of faith and hope, as if it was to solve the problems the world is facing. In this case, the paradox only serves to keep humanity dangling in a reality of uncertainty and fear.

Throughout history, the role of men has been that of the provider. From the earlier hunters to the contemporary man, men have been responsible to put the bread and butter on the table, while women were relegated to the home environment in non-remunerated positions. The housekeeping duties of women are well known. Being born female came with unwritten rules of a most certain future to which women had to be resigned to and accept in silence.

Although these roles are balancing in western civilisation, inequalities still prevail and in numerous professional positions, women received lower wages than men. This is of course not a general rule that applies to every professional environment. The historical inertia of patriarchal society is responsible for maintaining the belief that a man is worth more than a woman, hence men are not only regarded as more appropriate for these positions, but they also that they deserve higher financial rewards.

The general belief is that this cannot be changed, and there are no initiatives to balance such inequality. The private sector in the era of the most aggressive capitalism has carte blanche to do as they please. No government that wants to keep their reign of control dares to challenge banks or corporations. Their money is what is keeping them in power and their money is what removes them as they wish.

Feeling less valued for an equal effort is not the only consequence of such inequality. There are still many men who believe that we are providers by birth right, therefore we need to hold those positions in order to become a walking cliche dictated by the obsolete values of patriarchal society. To keep feeding patriarchal society by complying with these requests does not help men either.

As the roles in contemporary society have changed, and some doors have opened for women in the professional environment, they have also adopted the role of the provider, thus, gaining economic power, social status and independence, even though it comes with a price and certain sacrifices have to be made.

In order to maintain these jobs, women have adopted some of the more aggressive and competitive characteristics of men, so as to survive in the work place. By having achieved financial independence, this group of women, not all, must sacrifice more traditional roles, such a family or they postpone it to a later stage in life. Somehow, femininity has been relegated or suppressed. They are no longer the nurturing, loving women that history has portrayed. In such an imbalanced society, change often comes with both consequences and personal sacrifice and until equality is achieved, they will keep acting these roles, which are not natural neither for men, nor women.

It does not mean that women stopped being women, but that they have somewhat separated from the female energy, as men did and now we are both playing unnatural roles in order to survive and have a better life in material terms. It is neither right, nor wrong. It just is. The fact the feminism is strive towards equality, does not help, as feminism is not yet a movement understood by all.

The change of roles brought consequences to all. Men who still believe we are hunters, not realising we no longer hunt the food we bring to our tables have a hard time adapting to this new way of living. Men now have to compete with women for professional positions, as well as with other men. How can anyone compete with someone that we don't really understand? Women still remain a mystery to men, and there seems to be not much interest in changing this either.

To add to the current economic crisis, men now have to face women in superior positions, with higher purchasing power and completely independent. The role of the hunter or provider is no longer here. Money is being used these days as a status, not as a means to an end. The roles are reversing. Men no longer feel indispensable. Feelings of shame or not being enough appear, affecting not only self-esteem, but relationships. The fact that a woman earns more than their partner, although not in every situation, can be cause for crisis in couples, instability, and even existential inferiority. This can be understood from the perspective that historically men have enjoyed such positions having neither being questioned or challenged by women.

But these are the feelings that women held for centuries. Throughout history men have used laws to keep the illusion of superiority, with no other intention than to suppress and control women we fear. He who needs to control others with fear is living in fear himself. Roles might be changing, but they are not improving the situation. Instead it is now that men feel inadequate or not enough.

While the roles have changed, education has not. Boys continue being educated to be men, while girls are educated to be women in the traditional sense. History and tradition has brought us to where we are now, facing a reality no one wants to see. We adapt to the roles, but we live in a world full of friction, distrust and misunderstanding, and sadly, we continue competing against each other.

There is, however, a new breed of men that is coming strong that understand the process and the need for equality and support for everyone, but we are not yet enough in numbers.

Whether one earns more than another, or whether this is a man or a woman, this is not what truly matters. Most of the world population receives less than enough to live a decent life. We are not working to live, but to survive. It is not so much about equality between men and women, but to reduce the gap between have's and have not's.

It is essential for all to understand, that the roles we have been playing since the beginning of civilisation are artificial and against our nature. There is no inequality at a soul level and even though we are all different, no one neither superior, nor inferior. Competing against others is competing against the self. Everyone has the responsibility to understand that we are seven billion people on this planet. How many do you think you can take on? With this belief, there is always going to be someone else in a superior position, living the false illusion of superiority with whom we will not be able to compete.

We have to move together and aim for collective goals in order to create a world in which we all can live in peace and love. We must stop feeding the giant, the corporations and find ways in which we can produce what is essential to us locally, in cooperatives, small businesses and communities. This is the path towards a better world. The price of our basic needs keeps raising, while salaries remain the same, and as we are currently going through an economic crisis, which could end by tomorrow if they wanted to, prices are being frozen and even reduced. It is us, the majority who pay a high price for the mistakes of a few. Only that they are not mistakes, but excuses to keep us all living in fear.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Falling In Love: When Everything Is Possible.

Even though this is a personal experience, I believe that the process applies to everyone at anytime, when we believe and we are determined to change our lives in positive ways. Being human is not a mistake, but somehow we make it so by living under a cloud of false beliefs. We deserve better and could have better if only we found access to who we really are. What we want most is inner peace and love. Instead we continue being distracted by external circumstances, an irreverent idolisation of the material and the illusion that we always need something else to be happy, even though every time we get what we believed we wanted, it never seems to be enough.

Feelings of love and happiness are always here, within, but we don't find the time to look inside. Lack of belief leads to apathy for everything that is important to a human being and our souls. And it is apathy what keeps humanity's soul suffocated, expressionless under a coat of low collective consciousness. The soul is in love. The world is not. We stand in the middle, between truth and a lie we have been told and are resigned to believe. Everything is possible when we are in love, but we are not. We can still fall in love, not with another person, but with the possibility of love and magic.

By the end of 1998 I was on a bus on my way to Goldsmiths' College in London. Perhaps it was my dislike of buses, perhaps my love of walking. The reason is irrelevant to the story. What matters is that I found myself out of the bus having still twenty minutes to walk before reaching my destination.

The previous six months had been dreadful; going through experiences no one should have to go through. I lost some much of what I had always wanted that there was no reason for me to hold any hopes that things were going to improve. Yet, I still had freedom, good health and a relentless belief in myself. It is this belief which gives me the determination to get up everyone morning as soon as I wake up and what stops me from going to bed at nights until I no longer have any energy to continue. In that sense I am still like a child. The child in us has all the answers.

The best way to describe what happened next is that I entered into a meditative state while walking. For a few seconds, the last six months of my life flashed in my mind, at which point I realised that this period was over and I had been given another chance. Paradoxically, I didn't miss anything of what I believed I had lost. In fact, I has happy I didn't have it anymore. I had never wanted it in the first place, but I told myself that it was what I wanted and needed. The new academic year was beginning, I was single and all my basic needs were covered. What else could I want? Those things I believed I wanted were what eventually complicated my life.

At this moment, I accepted my life as it was. I had no expectations, just the belief that life was going to be better soon. And all I wanted was love, just love. It is essential to emphasise that throughout this experience feelings in my body were very strong. As I accepted my current situation, I felt lighter and younger, as if years and a heavy burden had abandoned my body instantly. Feeling is very important. There can be no healing without feeling. I also felt a very strong connection with myself, a sense of peace and contentment, as if a better life, better circumstances and my wish had already been granted.

I began to walk faster for no reason. When I had almost reached the university building, something extraordinary happened. While holding the feeling of letting go, I reached such a state of deep silence that I heard myself loud and clear. Stop! Breathe! Very often we do things out of habit, such as walking fast. I was in no rush. I stopped and took a deep breath. And this was the moment that changed it all.

When I looked around everything was beautiful. I loved everything and everyone. I even fell in love with the smell of the place. Anyone who knows New Cross in London would know that there is not much beauty in the area. People are not different from anywhere in the world. It is a grey area, not very well kept and filled with fumes. An area that suits students and the working class. It is not a place anyone would choose to go out on a date unless they are students or want to go for a quick drink or a meeting after work.

The sense of inner peace I was filled with, allowed me to accept everything as it was. There was no resistance to anything and everything was greeted with a smile.

This is how one falls in love. There is no need to fall in love with anyone or anything, just to fall in love. With life and the endless possibilities that it offers. When we feel like this, the rest comes after and everything is possible. Then we can attract anything we want. Life improved considerably. As I loved everything and everyone, they all seemed to love me too.

I would like to repeat again that feeling these emotions in our bodies is essential in order to transform and that this feeling is always there. It has always been there since we were born. It is only that we walk too fast when there is no need for it, constantly looking for all the wrong things. The truth is that what we are looking for is within; never outside.

We lost nothing. We come to this world alone and leave it alone. We come with no possessions, or relationships. Everything in our lives is experience and what we create. We are here to learn love, unconditional love and for this purpose, we must accept what there is. In order to create a better reality, we must allow ourselves to dream and believe. The fact that we don't have what we once expected or what we were made to believe we could have, is nothing but an illusion. What matters is that we are, not what we have or don't have. Accepting this reality is the key to what we need and what we want. When we have nothing, then we can have it all. Everything is a paradox.

Letting go of false beliefs, as well as being in love are two of the most powerful magnets we naturally have as human beings. This is what we already own. Let's use it to manifest the life we desire, not the life someone told us we should have. You and only you are the creator of your experience. Love begins with you. With love comes inner peace, and a better life along with it.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

How To Cope With And Overcome Criticism.

Criticism affects everybody at some point in their lives and perhaps throughout. People absorb criticism with ease, but we struggle when it comes to deflect it or to simply ignore it. However, we are very skilled at it when it comes to criticise others. It is often the case that those who have less moral ground or a complete lack of it are the fiercest at it. 

Understanding the roots of criticism and why we allow it to have such an impact on the ways we function is essential in order to overcome it. Criticism is something to which we become accustomed at a very early age. It begins with our parents, siblings and close family. It continues with extended family, school, friends, peers and almost everyone we come in contact with. Most people are very fast at throwing disapproving glares.

At that age, we have neither the experience, nor the resources to respond to it. We are being told to keep quiet and take it in. "One day you will understand." The fact is that the day in which we understand never comes and we live resigned to it. 

Everyone seems to know better. While it is true that age gives us experience and knowledge, it does not mean that such experiences and knowledge come along with wisdom. Yet, we feel the need to impose our knowledge and 'wisdom' on others. By imposing on others, people show a desperate need for validation. Whether we are right or not, the acceptance that it is requested from others, give us a sense that we have done something right in life.

Criticism and negativity are both consequences of the low vibrational level of collective consciousness. Seeking validation through criticism only denotes fear and the need to be superior to others. The more aggressive the methods, the more fear we exhibit and pass on to others. Fear is a very powerful, contagious energy. Collective consciousness is at such a low level that we do not realise the devastating impact we have on others and the ripple effect that causes. Criticising without bringing anything new or positive into the world, serves no purpose to anyone. 

As we get used to accept it as normal during childhood, we consent to this kind of behaviour as a part of our lives in several ways: reacting to it, criticising others and worst, criticising ourselves. The collective solution and one that could transform the world on its own, is kindness. Kindness and praise are rare treasures to find, but there seems to be not much interest. When I write a new blog post I foresee the reception that the topic is going to have. In some cases I know that the audience is going to be minimal compared to other writings.The blog post 'The Power Of Kindness', which is a very effective and simple tool and that if used regularly could have an incredible transformational effect on everyone, as well as helping to heal the world is a perfect example of it. 

The reason why we are affected so by it is because we give criticism an extraordinary power, somehow accepting it as being true. Whether there is truth in it or not, we absorb the negative energy and react to it, and by accepting it, it becomes a false belief. Everyone reacts differently. By reacting to it, we increase the negative energy and worsen the effect that has on an individual. A person running on this energy is very likely to affect others negatively unless it is stopped immediately by giving no importance to it. 

In order to deal with criticism we have to reject it as it appears. This does not apply to constructive criticism, from which we may learn something, alghough it is also very rare to find. 

Tell yourself that there is no truth in it. It is most likely that criticism is true to the person that is criticising you. It is also directly related to trust issues.

You may choose to answer back, discuss it or even rationalise it. The less you talk, the better you will feel afterwards. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone. By explaining and over-explaining you are giving the other person more power over you. Save the energy. A simple sentence, such as, "this is your opinion, which is neither wanted, nor need it and brings nothing positive" should suffice. 

You could also choose to ignore it completely and not respond to them at all. I receive criticism for what I do regularly. Usually it comes with no reason or logic. I do ignore it, as it has no influence on who or what I am. I know what I do, why I do it and the intention I have. Hence, I do not need to explain myself, and neither do you.

When the response to criticism is silence, the critic has to face their own negativity as they have not found a recipient. At the same time that silence is our response, it is important to feel the emotions that arise during these episodes. By feeling these emotions, we became stronger for two reasons. First, we do not validate criticism or accept it as truth. 

Secondly, this process allows any individual to begin to distance themselves from criticism, and as we increase the number of situations we refuse to engage, we gain in confidence and a sense of our own truth. The essence of who we are does not show entirely while we engage in negative situations. Everybody is entitled to make mistakes. Deep inside, the intentions of everyone are always good. We are humans, not robots, therefore, we make mistakes. Being human is not a mistake, but a wonderful experience.

Take into consideration that for as long as you live, there is always going to be the one who is going to be willing to see the negative in you regardless of what you do. In many cases, the better you do in life, the more critics will appear. By engaging, you will spend the rest of your life explaining yourself, hence creating doubt and self-doubt. By explaining and over-explaining we lose vital force necessary to continue progressing in your journey. Commit instead to your life purpose and do the best you can and praise yourself for it.

Finally, let's stop judging and criticising others. What others do have nothing to do with us, and what we do to others, we do to ourselves. When we produce a negative energy, this energy will come back to us sooner or later. Let's find instead kindness by seeing the good in the actions of others, so as to stop the negative. It might take a while to see and feel the peaceful effects that a non-judgmental practice has in your life, but if you consciously avoid it, you will obtain wonderful results.

There will be a future blog post on self-criticism. Even though it is a closely related topic, it requires to be dealt with in different ways. As usual, the demand of the public will determine how soon it will be written and published.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly