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How To Cope With And Overcome Criticism.


Criticism affects everybody at some point in their lives and perhaps throughout. People absorb criticism with ease, but we struggle when it comes to deflect it or to simply ignore it. However, we are very skilled at it when it comes to criticise others. It is often the case that those who have less moral ground or a complete lack of it are the fiercest at it. 

Understanding the roots of criticism and why we allow it to have such an impact on the ways we function is essential in order to overcome it. Criticism is something to which we become accustomed at a very early age. It begins with our parents, siblings and close family. It continues with extended family, school, friends, peers and almost everyone we come in contact with. Most people are very fast at throwing disapproving glares.

At that age, we have neither the experience, nor the resources to respond to it. We are being told to keep quiet and take it in. "One day you will understand." The fact is that the day in which we understand never comes and we live resigned to it. 

Everyone seems to know better. While it is true that age gives us experience and knowledge, it does not mean that such experiences and knowledge come along with wisdom. Yet, we feel the need to impose our knowledge and 'wisdom' on others. By imposing on others, people show a desperate need for validation. Whether we are right or not, the acceptance that it is requested from others, give us a sense that we have done something right in life.

Criticism and negativity are both consequences of the low vibrational level of collective consciousness. Seeking validation through criticism only denotes fear and the need to be superior to others. The more aggressive the methods, the more fear we exhibit and pass on to others. Fear is a very powerful, contagious energy. Collective consciousness is at such a low level that we do not realise the devastating impact we have on others and the ripple effect that causes. Criticising without bringing anything new or positive into the world, serves no purpose to anyone. 

As we get used to accept it as normal during childhood, we consent to this kind of behaviour as a part of our lives in several ways: reacting to it, criticising others and worst, criticising ourselves. The collective solution and one that could transform the world on its own, is kindness. Kindness and praise are rare treasures to find, but there seems to be not much interest. When I write a new blog post I foresee the reception that the topic is going to have. In some cases I know that the audience is going to be minimal compared to other writings.The blog post 'The Power Of Kindness', which is a very effective and simple tool and that if used regularly could have an incredible transformational effect on everyone, as well as helping to heal the world is a perfect example of it. 

The reason why we are affected so by it is because we give criticism an extraordinary power, somehow accepting it as being true. Whether there is truth in it or not, we absorb the negative energy and react to it, and by accepting it, it becomes a false belief. Everyone reacts differently. By reacting to it, we increase the negative energy and worsen the effect that has on an individual. A person running on this energy is very likely to affect others negatively unless it is stopped immediately by giving no importance to it. 

In order to deal with criticism we have to reject it as it appears. This does not apply to constructive criticism, from which we may learn something, alghough it is also very rare to find. 

Tell yourself that there is no truth in it. It is most likely that criticism is true to the person that is criticising you. It is also directly related to trust issues.

You may choose to answer back, discuss it or even rationalise it. The less you talk, the better you will feel afterwards. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone. By explaining and over-explaining you are giving the other person more power over you. Save the energy. A simple sentence, such as, "this is your opinion, which is neither wanted, nor need it and brings nothing positive" should suffice. 

You could also choose to ignore it completely and not respond to them at all. I receive criticism for what I do regularly. Usually it comes with no reason or logic. I do ignore it, as it has no influence on who or what I am. I know what I do, why I do it and the intention I have. Hence, I do not need to explain myself, and neither do you.

When the response to criticism is silence, the critic has to face their own negativity as they have not found a recipient. At the same time that silence is our response, it is important to feel the emotions that arise during these episodes. By feeling these emotions, we became stronger for two reasons. First, we do not validate criticism or accept it as truth. 

Secondly, this process allows any individual to begin to distance themselves from criticism, and as we increase the number of situations we refuse to engage, we gain in confidence and a sense of our own truth. The essence of who we are does not show entirely while we engage in negative situations. Everybody is entitled to make mistakes. Deep inside, the intentions of everyone are always good. We are humans, not robots, therefore, we make mistakes. Being human is not a mistake, but a wonderful experience.

Take into consideration that for as long as you live, there is always going to be the one who is going to be willing to see the negative in you regardless of what you do. In many cases, the better you do in life, the more critics will appear. By engaging, you will spend the rest of your life explaining yourself, hence creating doubt and self-doubt. By explaining and over-explaining we lose vital force necessary to continue progressing in your journey. Commit instead to your life purpose and do the best you can and praise yourself for it.

Finally, let's stop judging and criticising others. What others do have nothing to do with us, and what we do to others, we do to ourselves. When we produce a negative energy, this energy will come back to us sooner or later. Let's find instead kindness by seeing the good in the actions of others, so as to stop the negative. It might take a while to see and feel the peaceful effects that a non-judgmental practice has in your life, but if you consciously avoid it, you will obtain wonderful results.

There will be a future blog post on self-criticism. Even though it is a closely related topic, it requires to be dealt with in different ways. As usual, the demand of the public will determine how soon it will be written and published.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

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