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Children: The Invisible Souls. Facts Every Parent Should Know About Their Children.



During the last year I have been in communication with thousands of people around the world. People seeking help regarding health, relationships, heartbreak, depression, reasons to go on and a multiple array of situations that we, as human beings face on a daily basis. No one is excluded from pain, as no one is excluded from joy. We make that decision. What part of the dichotomy we want to live in it's always up to each individual. We can be happy or not. I have seen wonderful and touching, both personal and collective stories. The transformation I witnessed in many has been certainly worth every minute invested. There has been, however, another reality which I have not yet been able to tackle fully, very representative of the dysfunctional reality we have created and which we call society.

Being witness to this has been heartbreaking. Witnessing the actions of certain people; devastating, not to me, but to them, to their children, to their families and the future of the world. This is the sad reality of children today. To illustrate it I am going to describe two situations experienced by two different people in two different scenarios.The first one took place a few months ago in the US. My friend Alex was walking in a public place when a little girl pointed at her and said, "mummy, do you see that lady of light?" The second episode was similar in context, but with a different outcome. I was also in a public space. A little girl who must have been about two years old pointed her finger at me and said, "that man ...." Her mother stopped her from finishing the sentence four times. Within two minutes I removed myself from the scene so as to avoid that the mother continued causing harm to her daugther.

Her mother apologised to me for no reason, while in fact she should have apologised to her daughter for not allowing her to talk. Somehow, this makes me believe that this little girl is going to encounter the same situation over and over during her childhood until she no longer holds any desire to express herself in public. This girl one day will be a woman. It will take her a lot of work on her confidence, not only to talk in public, but to be in a public space. Her mother will always be in her psyche making her feel inadequate talking in public, and most certainly talking to a man. When a child is constantly stopped from talking without a logical explanation, and at that age there is no logical explanation one can give to them, it creates self-doubt, as the message they receive is that what they are going to say, should not be said. This attitude multiplied repeated day after day, year after year becomes an irrational fear in public speaking. This is not a bright future. Ask yourself two questions, do you fear public speaking? and what are the reasons? Most likely you don't know the reasons. Now go back down memory lane and see if the experience feels familiar.

This action that might seem polite and customary of a well-mannered middle class family and in the eyes of many, even innocent, is coercive and cause of trauma in millions of children. The reasons why most people feel inadequate begins in the family and our parents. At the time of the incident I was calmly sitting at a table, writing and drinking coffee; hardly a threat to anyone. The mother in this case is following a learnt pattern from her childhood, probably from a time in which talking to adults might have been considered impolite. The action is the result of fear. Fear to communicate. For as long as we fear to communicate we will never be seen and acknowledged. Many of us never will. To rediscover the true voice on an individual could take years, sometimes a lifetime. We are beings filled with words and things we never said. Everything we never said is an energy built in our bodies that stops us from showing our true self to the world. This might not seem too important, but it might be when you attend a job interview or try to talk to an authority figure. As a child adults have authority. The presence of any authority will make you feel intimidated, once again without logical explanation. This action, however, does not make this woman a bad mother; only unaware. Lack of awareness is widespread as the world is full of distractions.

I am writing this blog post, not only to show to what extent the actions that we might deem as insignificant might affect a person. The past year has been hard when meeting with these children for several reasons. They all two things in common, the feel voiceless and invisible. I have also seen violence and even sexual abuse in some of these children. These are children who will no longer talk to their parents, as they lost their trust. I have seen parents parading their children in public fishing for compliments. Having beautiful children does not make us good parents. Two days ago I was speaking to a mother of two young children in a coffee shop. As she showed interest in the blog, I felt that it was the right time to write this, not only for her, but to every other parent. Parents do care and want the best for their children. I don't know how much she sees, but I do know she sees more than most people. Seeing is being able to penetrate reality to a deeper level, which in turn makes her a better mother, as she can perceive the truth behind actions and the consequences that may follow. We all have this ability, but most of us don't use it.

Fact One: Children have a very different perception of the world and see reality in ways that adults cannot. Every child is born with a very high state consciousness and a connection to different dimensions. What is invisible to an adult, it is visible to a child. If or when your child tells you that there is a presence you cannot perceive, please do not tell them there's nothing there. Say you cannot see it. Ask them what it is, what's the nature of this presence and the intention. Do not make you child feel lonely and make them believe this is their imagination. It is not. This connection that only a few adults keep, is a quality very much alive in children and the reason why a little girl could see my the aura of my friend Alex.

As we grow up and learn fear, human beings separate from love, our natural state of being, as well as lowering consciousness. The result is a life of fear, pain and suffering. The  irony is that many of us will strive for a lifetime to raise consciousness and reach enlightenment. Most people will never reach it again.

Fact Two: Not listening to our children is a tragedy. Children are born with a knowledge and wisdom adults have forgotten. They believe in magic because they live and see magic. They are in a state of love. There is a new generation of children who have been born very strong and they are destined to change this world in a positive way. They come here, not to rule, but to enlighten the world. What kind of parent you become with this knowledge is always a personal choice. There is nothing adults can teach children. Have a look at the world, and in an exercise of honesty, write ten things about your life which are so wonderful that you couldn't live without, of course people.

If you are reading this, you are most likely a parent. You have also been a child. Remember how often and in which ways your expression was cut abruptly for no reason; how you felt about it then. Did you want to rush through childhood so as to become an adult, to realise that as an adult you don't have the freedom you imagined you would have? Yes, you most likely have. Listen to your children, acknowledge them. They want to be seen and they want to be heard. Not doing so creates a lonely being. This world is populated by 7 billion of lonely people who would do anything to be touched and being seen, but somewhere along the way we lost the ability to express our true voice, the voice of the soul that everyone would want to hear.

The voice of the soul is the most beautiful expression anyone could ever speak. Children have that voice and they carry important messages. They might not be able to articulate it intellectually as an adult would do, but their messages carry truths that most adults have forgotten. It's not my job to tell you how to educate your children, all I can say is, be a good parent by having a child who speaks with this voice and see your life changing in wonderful ways. With this information you might to encourage them to express themselves within your beliefs and standards.

And one more thing, just in case you forgot; listen to your children. They are beings of Light and Love. And this world needs to fall in love. The answer to all humanities problems is not in what we believe we have learned, but in what we forgot. All that knowledge lies within the child you once were. Perhaps is time to pause, reconsider and rush back to that childhood you were so keen to leave. Hear the laughter of children.

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My new book is now available on Kindle.

This book is a journey through the all the phases of heartbreak, exploring its unknown or unperceived origins, and how it affects a person throughout life, influencing thinking, behaviour, personal choices, relationships and in particular the hurt after separation. It offers a simple, practical healing method with practices easily adaptable to everyone's experience, taking the reader to the liberating moment of letting go. It is also an examination of the stage of being in love, and how by listening to the call of the soul, anyone could live in a permanent state of bliss. 


Read more on Amazon.





Twin Flames: A Love Affair.


Allow me indulge and begin this blog post by saying that the term 'twin flame' leaves me quite indifferent. There are reasons behind this statement. The term has become a trendy topic for all the wrong reasons. It is not the fact that people are no longer looking for love or a soul mate, they are specifically looking for their twin flame, as if this was a birth right. There is no guarantee, and certainty does not exist. Somehow the world lives under this spell of a false sense of entitlement. Life will never present us with the wonderful possibilities that one could experience unless we move towards our goals with persistence, trust, belief and hope.

Curiosity killed the cat. Certainty kills humans by the millions. No one can tell you who your twin flame is. In order to meet the people who are going to make a difference in your life, and a twin flame certainly would, we must go on an adventure. Very rarely they will come knocking at your door. The adventure begins beyond fear, beyond what we know and beyond the safety of the mirage of certainty. We must be prepared to be surprised and not always in pleasant ways. However uncomfortable experiences may be, we have to go through them if we want to get closer to that unique person we are looking for.

For months I've seen in online forums and groups people claiming they've met their twin flame. Essentially this is person they've fallen in love with. Every time we fall in love with someone, we feel something different, so the expression "I've never felt anything like this before" is true. This, however does not equal to have met a twin flame. There are also those who claim they hold the secret to find your twin flame. It is a sad fact to see that some people see this as a business opportunity and charge for a service that is misleading. You already know this person and intuition is all you need to get to them. While it is possible to use some very effective processes to open you heart to love and attract love and others, focusing on attracting that particular person is giving false hopes. There are of course many who are providing the right information from their own perspective and experience. Nothing of what you are about to read is neither a guarantee, nor an infallible method to meet your twin. This is simply experience that I know it could help many others.

To meet a twin flame we must be ready and we must definitely be walking the path of a magical journey even if we don't see the magic yet. Your reality could be most miserable due to the fact that your soul is wanting to come out. Too often the reality that we have created for ourselves causes a major trauma to the soul. It is in magic we have an incredible opportunity. We all know magic. We simply forgot. Then, and only then they will come. Somehow we all know who this person is. Everyone is born with a memory of who this person is. Some of us will spend the rest of our lives looking for them and will travel wherever it is necessary to find that person. We never lose hope, as we have an incredible sense of belief. There is certainly hope and everything is possible, but we have to take the necessary steps to move closer to our destination.

In this sense, globalisation is not something to look upon as a terrible thing, but as a movement of the collective soul to create unity. Yes, we all are part of one soul. And yes, we're all different and have different purpose in life.

There also seems to be a belief that the twin flame is the person we are going to meet, so to live with happily ever after. This is applying the Disney formula to love once again to define romantic relationships, and it comes down to semantics. The sense of deception is all the same. Love is unconditional. For as long as we concentrate on what we can get from it, it is not love, but more of the deeply ingrained belief in the human psyche that we can control everything.

The soul connection with the twin flame is the strongest there is. When we meet them, we will certainly recognise the essence. This is two magnets that attract and repelled each other. They are the perfect mirror in which we see reflected everything we need to see about ourselves, every flaw, every mistake and everything erroneous belief we have learned and adopted from a very early age. The experience with a twin flame is a fascinating journey. The attraction is mutual, almost irresistible. It is possible that this person has been in our lives for years; that we have loved and hated them. Twin flames adore each other, as much as they fight each other. But this is not a fight with the other. They are our equals and what we fight is the self, not the other person.

The good news about a twin flame is that it is a wonderful opportunity to see the death of the ego, the spiritual death of who and what we've become and who are not. It is an intense process that if dealt with the level of awareness required will see us through the complete disintegration of the self and our spiritual rebirth towards enlightenment. In order to see results, both partners must have a similar and rather advanced level of self-awareness and understanding. In my experience it is also an excruciating process. If we overcome the resistance of the ego to die, we meet all our demons and fears. It is not a process for everyone, even though everybody can go through it. How much courage we apply to move through this path is always a personal choice.

It is easy to realise what our fears are, as we have been through a lifetime of avoidance, but it is not as easy to accept that they're ours. Allowing the ego to keep fighting for its survival, will result in the end of the relationship. Our fears will appear in different forms, jealousy, envy, anger or hate to mention some. This is not who we are, but before we remember who we truly are, we must go through all unwanted feelings and emotions and feel for as long as it takes. The reason this is a difficult and painful process is due to the overall feeling that takes over. When we take responsibility for our feelings and emotions the ego suffers and will fight as you have never seen before. We must bring truth to life. If the feeling is jealousy, we have to admit, that yes, we are jealous, feel the emotion and let this feeling disappear. The more we feel, the weaker the emotion becomes. We become stronger, but we will not see this immediately.

The impression we get during this period is a depression. You are not depressed. It is a different energy. As the ego weakens, so does body and mind. The soul is pushing to come out. The only tool we have to go through is love. Love for ourselves and love for the other person. We must make a conscious decision to bring truth to our lives. If we continue lying, we are lying to our partners, but also lying to ourselves. There is love and if we want to see the true expression of love, we must experience what it is first. Love is unconditional and there is no room for lies. If you feel you cannot do it for yourself, do it for the person you love.

Whether we choose to continue lying or to finally allow truth in our reality, this is a very destructive process and it could be the end of the relationship. Remember one important fact, your twin will feel and perceive the lie. In this scenario there is no place to escape to. You decide if you are in or on your way out. There's nothing we can do to avoid it. Trying to control the process is nothing but a Machiavellian plan devised by the ego. Ego cannot reach the moment of enlightenment and ego is not going to fool the other person. The process in theory is simple, realisation, acceptance and feeling. The experience is not. Ego is all we have known for most of our lives and letting go is not something we are prepared for. If you find yourself in this situation, love is the only thing that will help you through. Eventually you will thank yourself for it.

If you followed these steps, there will be a moment in which you will not recognise yourself. The answers that for most of your life you used to deal with situations will not be there any longer. The thinking process changes, you might become less articulate and participating in conversations. You will become morose and weaker, although you will still enjoy the moments with your partner. Avoid arguments, blaming or trying to be right. This is the greatest opportunity you will encounter in your life to become who you really are.

Your twin flame is here to tear you apart, not to have a loving relationship for the rest of your lives. If both go through this lengthy process successfully, there might be a chance for this to happen, although separation is very possible. For both twins to reunite, both have to reach this point. They will never forget you and they will be with you at all times in essence. Whether the relationship continues or ends, you must keep living, developing and learning. This is what's expected from you. It's not the end. As you progressively enlighten your life, you become more of a magnet, and this can be felt to a soul level wherever your twin is. If you do it right, they will feel it and they might return. There's always hope and you must trust. Be patient. People come to us when the moment is right, not when we decide that it is time.

Finally, if they have disappeared from your life, do continue loving them regardless of what has happened between you two. Love and let go, then you can have it all. You will always be connected and they will appear at the right time. Know and feel this connection. Love is the most powerful magnet. To me, love always seems the best option. Then, you decide who and what you want to be.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings.

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.


You might also want to read:

Twin Flames: The One That Got Away

Separating From The Twin Flame: The End And Beginning Of Friendship

A Twin Flame For The End Of The World.

Running Away From Relationships: What Happened Next

The Return Of The Wild Woman.


Diana, the Roman Goddess, the huntress, is perhaps among all Goddesses the one which best represents the archetype of the wild woman. Although a mythological figure, Diana is very real. The wild woman is real and she lives among us. A woman made out of flesh and bones with fears and anxieties, but also with dreams, hopes and a very particular vision of the world and what it should be and look like. A world full of colour, beauty and harmony which includes all.

Diana is the Goddess of the Moon, hunting and birthing. She is one of the three virgin Goddesses and a feminist icon. She's associated with the protection of wilderness and the animals, as she talks and reigns over them. She is Mother Protectress and see cares deeply about you even if this escapes your perception. There is much more to say about Diana, but this blog post is about the physical representation of her figure in the our world today. 

The wild woman is particularly important in the process of transformation of the world due to her wider vision and a strong sense of direction. She is strongest among all women. A fierce, powerful warrior. She is, however, a warrior of love and her expression would be colourful, creative and passionate. This is the untamed woman, a woman so strong that she would see herself through all obstacles, pain and suffering that may come her path and whom with each adversity she overcomes, she becomes stronger. 

It is simply not possible to tame the wild woman. Mythology comes to life with her. Although she is a woman whose expression is of love and kindness in order to restore harmony and balance to the world, she might break a heart or two in her journey. Breaking someone heart, however painful the experience could be is more a  case of bruising the ego of men, rather than an act intended to destroy or harm another person. Once she's loved you, she will love you and very likely adore you for life. Another thing is that she stays as long as you expected. If you are a man and you've been badly bruised by the wild woman, you were most likely trying to control her. But don't forget this fact, if you suffered, she suffered too, as she is sucking in your pain and help you to heal. Following the myth, when we try to control someone we become mere mortals, and the wild woman would always be a Goddess, a free spirit that knows of no attachments. Highly independent, a deep love for her personal space and with a strong sense of how she has to lead her life, any attempts to control her will inevitably result in a broken heart. She is after all a fearless woman who would stop at nothing to go through the limitations of anyone's expectations. 

Like Diana; she will not hesitate to destroy men who do not honour and respect her divine nature. She will definitely be in control of her sexual interactions. Sex is a sacred act for her. Both men and women would tag her as a loose woman and worse. Deep inside, she's the most romantic of all. What others think is only their thoughts, not who the wild woman is. She very sensitive and highly intuitive. The Moon in this case reflects her light, divine knowledge and wisdom. Intuition is not a quality that should be overlooked. The wild woman has led a life away from the noise and false beliefs of the world, as she uses this intuition to expand. She is a drifter, a gypsy, a woman who seeks experience following the call of the soul. Life is an endless journey of adventure and you will not find her in someone's kitchen unless there's a party there.

The wild woman would defy the rules, traditions and standards of patriarchal society, as above all, she is moved by a longing for freedom, not only of the self, but of humanity. In her quest for love she puts herself through the most unlikely situations to expose truth to the world. She is here to teach us all a lesson of light, love and freedom; the one true nature of the soul. Due to her choices she will suffer profoundly, but she will always continue in her adventure in a fascinating quest for love, truth and freedom. 

The wild woman is, today and will continue being misunderstood by society for as long as society lives under the spell of a false sense of identity and the duality between the material and the spiritual. Due to her nature, she's creative and most likely an artist. The Thinking Muse. She's also charming, sensual and enchanting and she will be desired and rejected by many men and women. Most people would describe her as  'mad' and hold ambivalent feelings towards her.  There is more wisdom and lucidity in her madness than in any rational man. This feeling is a mixture of love and hate, envy, admiration and pity and as I already mentioned, desire and rejection at once. As she is most magnetic, she will attract people from all ways of life. The wild woman is an inspiration to all, but it is her lucid madness that would put people off her ways. For as long as the world live in fear and persists in seeking a security that doesn't exist, the wild woman will continue to be a mirror in which everyone's fears are reflected.

Even though she carries herself with a vibrant sense of self-worth and pride, she is never going to follow fashion trends. Make up or perfume would be the last of her priorities. Why would she spend 30 hours a month or longer disguising her natural beauty -and this is always a very beautiful woman regardless of her looks-  while there's still so much work to do in this world! She is most likely to wear loud undergraduate clothes, colourful and bright independently of her age and what and how she is 'supposed' to dress. What makes her wild is her inherent quality to challenge the norm, and this feature makes her incredibly attractive.

The role of the wild woman is that of a teacher. She's here to teach everyone, especially women, to live in more natural and organic ways. Her innate connection with the spiritual world makes her an example to follow. She picks her knowledge from the universal source available to all, as she has always followed her intuition, there are few books that could teach her the ways of life. Intuition is a conversation with the soul, which she speaks constantly. As she's chaotic in nature and freedom from all convention is what she truly seeks, most people will see her as a threat, despite of her loving and embracing temperament. And that she is also is, temperamental. 

There is a wild woman within each woman waiting to be unleashed. A woman that wants to be free from all social conditioning and false beliefs that society has imposed on each of us. A woman who's struggling to come out and be recognised as what she is and not as what she was told to be. It is true that the path of the wild woman is not one easy to follow, as it is crammed with obstacles, but in the search for the wild nature of the human being, the journey presents experiences from which a woman will learn not only to cope, but to gain the necessary experience to transform herself and be freer every day. There's nothing one can do that would defeat her, like the Phoenix she will rise again even stronger than she was. She's defiant, but charmingly so. Her personal characteristics make her magic, enchanting, poetic, sensual and touched by an air of the ethereal. She is a living contradiction and the most beautiful and selfless soul. Her intention is the goal of the collective, not for her own comfort. If you're in need, she will give you everything she has and everything you need. Sometimes what we need in order to learn is a bruised ego not another white lie.

In 1963 Sylvia Plath wrote what I believe to be her only novel, 'The Bell jar'. In this fascinating  book Sylvia describes how society manipulates an entire gender, what it's expected from women and the existential pain that leads to the suicide of a character who feels trapped and hopeless in a world designed to imprison the soul. The portrait of society during that period is still latent today. Moreover the grasp that society and the economic system has on all of us, both men and women is even more corrosive and suffocating that it was during that period. 

I have already given my opinion on what's needed for the world to transform in the blog post 'Waking Up The Goddess: Why Women Will Change The World And Why The Support Of Men And Women Is Necessary.' This is the reality that we will eventually see in this world, but for this to happen, the return of the wild woman is essential. If you'd like to make a difference, you could learn a lot from her. She needs your help and support. It is very easy to recognise her and you most likely know at least one of them. She's most likely an artist who's struggling the make ends meet. She's outspoken, and in her deeply ingrained sense of independence she will never ask anyone for anything, but she needs to be supported. Buy her art work and offer her your donations so she can spread a message which is beneficial to all; a message of love, peace and harmony, because she might be wild and defiant, but she's also the kindest and the most forgiving of all. 

I have seen the wild woman getting up from a table in the Southbank in London, outside the National Film Theatre, to go and talk to a homeless girl, give her money and hug her. Within ten minutes I saw the same girl returning to thank and hugged her again. During this short period she collected more money from strangers than what was necessary for her to pay the fee for a hostel that night. Previous to that moment, she had spent hours trying to collect some money to no avail. If you have ever met the wild woman, you will know that once you're touched by her, you're always touched. In case you didn't realise it yet, that magic is also within you and you never lost her. The thought of loss is only an illusion. Nothing is lost, everything is here. 

And yes, I have met and loved the wild woman. We danced wild in the fields at night under the Moon. And we're still dancing there, we're still dancing here. Forever, for the wild woman is love, and it is safe, and it is home. She is home. And we let each other go,in tears, still in love; for this is what true love is, the moment of letting go.

Go and be wild, be free and be expressive and expansive. And remember this; to a free man, there's nothing more attractive and beautiful than a wild woman. 

Men And Fear Of Commitment In Relationships: Where Do We Go Wrong?



It is not easy to be a boy, as it is not easy to be a man. The arrival of a child to this world is usually preceded by the expectations of their parents and family. The kind of upbringing this child will have it is determined by the feelings, beliefs and traditions of each family, environment and society. The element that doesn't vary is expectations. In most cases boys wear blue, girls wear pink and that's that. A suit for life. Only a few challenge this encapsulating tradition. 

As a child, a boy is expected to follow certain predetermined rules and a behaviour appropriate to his gender that will eventually make him a man. It is not a choice, but a must. Children are taught to function either as a boy or a girl in order to be an accomplished and functional member of society by the time they become a man or woman. Only in exceptional cases children are never taught to be a person, a well functional human being. This unchallenged educational process causes a split that separates most individuals either from their masculine or feminine side even before the moment of birth. 

The expectations of our parents have an energetic influence on children which is later on reinforced by education, the environment and society and that generally will prove impossible to break from. We are either this or that. The unquestioning of traditional education has a rather devastating effect on most people and society as a whole. As young boys we are taught what we are allowed to do according to the established norm. The rest is what girls do. I have a very vivid memory of playing kitchen with my sister and cousins, all girls, as a very young boy. I must have been about 5 years old then. My uncle entered the room and mockingly told me that this is something only girls do. I stared at him without uttering a word. At that age I already knew that adults don't listen to what children have to say, so a disapproving stare and my silence was  my only response. 

There were numerous episodes like the one I described in my childhood and throughout life. Fortunately I never listened to anyone who wanted to determine what I could or couldn't do; not even at that age. All boys are eventually going to be playing with girls, so the sooner we begin, the more we are going to integrate and learn about each other. It escapes any rationale that any man can praise himself for being an excellent chef, but that he couldn't play kitchen as a child. There are of course an array of consequences when someone does not follow rules and the natural curiosity of a boy is coerced. It is not easy for a boy to stand up for what we like and enjoy. 

As boys are more physical, reprimands tend also to be more physical. Whether these reprimands are physical, verbal or psychological, they are intended to break resistance and to indicate the path boys have to follow. Most, follow this path. This kind of educational behaviour, for thoughtless creates a breach of trust. Fathers are usually 'in charge' of directing and shaping their sons into the men they have been born to be. Let's remember that this boy is part of a plan. Our education is reduced to the limited scope of our fathers. Boys also see have our mothers stand on a second raw watching and allowing fathers to educate us as they wish. At this moment we lost trust in both. And if we cannot trust our parents who else are we going to trust.

Although there is a new generation of young boys growing up with single mothers, the majority are still influenced by fathers and patriarchal society. Childhood for a boy is like a boot camp, which in turn creates unfeeling men. We are teased by parents and educated not by parental wisdom, but by stereotypes. "Boys don't cry" or "tough men don't dance" are an every day song. In their attempt to shape us into responsible men, parents ignore a fact, we are children, with neither voice, nor power to make decisions. 

Any young boy who is submitted to this kind of education will grow to be an unfeeling man. Childhood is a training ground to learn not to feel or cry. Men have been taught for years that feelings, emotions and tears are signs of weakness, things girls do, as well as the erroneous belief that men have to be strong at all times. A man is supposed to provide, protect and every other etcetera that patriarchal society has led us to believe. These stereotypes are so powerful when consistently repeated that a large number of men still believe that women belong in the kitchen, while the man is hunting. The truth is, there is no hunting any longer and anyone can make a sandwich. As a result, most men don't know the difference between feeling and emotion, and if fact, the majority don't know a feeling from a thought. There is a very simple explanation for this, men have been taught not to feel. 

Peer pressure is equal for each boy regardless of their personal circumstances. Each reality is experienced in different ways, and what it might not affect one, affects the other. What it could be traumatic for one, might not be for someone else, but trauma works its way through into each man one sooner or later. Every boy is expected to behave in a similar uniform manner. Do something different and you are going to get it. Try  and be emotional or cry and you are going to get it. Wear a different football shirt from the rest and you are going to get it. Try and do anything and you are going to get it. There is no way to avoid it. The worse part is that one action already defines you. There is no room to change or rectify, -once you're tagged, you remain tagged- unless one is prepared to endure challenges and take actions which in most cases are dangerous and humiliating, or both. The truth is that boys are not educated, but disciplined and it comes from all angles. Violence and bullying or both a is a substantial part in a boy's education. We are educated not to be functional men, but angry unemotional adults that missed a great part of their childhood.

There are a few elements to take into consideration to understand men's phobia of commitment to relationships and not all of them are so obvious. The lack of trust in the father figure reflects in tensions between fathers and sons, as well as in the competition with other men and any form of authority. At this point, every man is a threat and every woman who tries to assert her authority or overt expressions of love turns into a mother. Let's not forget that love is a very powerful feeling and boys learn to detach from feeling. There's nothing less appealing to a man than a woman who reminds him of his mother. This perception is usually subconscious and a man sensing this energy would remove himself from the situation, often not knowing the reasons. As most men are not in touch with their feelings and emotions, they will not be able to interpret this feeling or be able to express it. The reaction is physical detachment from a particular woman and relationships altogether. 


By the time a boy reaches manhood, he has been teased and instructed so often to separate from all things female, that even the most superficial reminder of these episodes would trigger in him a reaction similar to those experienced in childhood. He might love the woman he has in front of him, but he will separate again and again looking for that woman that does not bring in him memories of shame which are deeply ingrained in him. 

Lack of commitment is also a form of self-expression. A man is also looking for love and even if he cannot rationalise it yet, he knows what kind of woman he wants to be in a relationship with. If a man states that he's not interested in a relationship, he does mean it. It's up to each woman to try and start a relationship at their own risk. He might convince himself for a while that he does, and a woman might be able to seduce him into the idea, but eventually this man will leave. Even if the relationship last for a lifetime, this man will continue looking for that other woman. This is perhaps one of the most common causes of infidelity. Regardless of how unfeeling and detached a man may appear, he is looking for love and to be loved. He is also looking for freedom and self-expression and he will seek this through love. The quest for love could take a lifetime, but let's not underestimate man's ability to love and seek for love. 

From an early age, men are taught that they have to be independent, while girls and women are dependent. A relationship is therefore seeing as a trap, and love, well; love is something girls do. We want to go on an adventure we never had.

There is a paradoxical element that explains best why a man would be most afraid of commitment and which I also believe is widely unknown. As you read this part, see and try to feel if you recognise it, as this applies to both men and women, even though it is more prominent in men for obvious reasons. 

Every human being is born with a memory of who we are, which eventually we lose to education, service to society and an unfeeling pledge to a set of beliefs, rules an ideas in which most of us don't believe. Humanity's dissatisfaction with the state of the world is so overwhelming that no one cannot longer deny it, unless one, of course, belongs to the ruling elites. 

Each individual is a soul. We don't have a soul; we are souls. The duality is most significant in men than it is in women. Whilst men somehow know, and reject the feeling at once; women in this sense are more in touch with the soul, hence love is an easier feeling to express. The soul is a adventurer, a drifter. In the quest for love, what men really want is to find self-love by expressing themselves in the freedom that adventure offers and that childhood didn't provide. This is a journey of self-discovery breaking from the oppression of a system endured for so long.

Men want to travel, see places and, create in order to find themselves. By the age of 18 and after a lifetime of training the self not to feel, a man wouldn't know that the journey is within, not around the world. And yes, both can be achieved, as there is another reason why a man would go around the world and back as many times as it is necessary, and this is the love of a woman. But this is; a very particular woman. 

Part of the memory we are born with includes the connection with at least one other soul which we must find at all costs. I will expand on this concept in another blog post in the near future, but for now, a man knows who this woman is through memory and will do almost anything to find her. Modern society does not promote adventure, but stagnation. Men are no longer adventurers, but functional tools within a dysfunctional system. This lack of adventure, moving from one place to place in a journey of expansion as the soul would love to experience, is suffocating. Many relationships are born due to geographical proximity. We give up looking eventually, as we cannot find the woman we want, we somehow settle for the one next one door. Having learned not to love, we have most definitely learned not to love ourselves. In most cases we simply settle, but that memory lies within. It is unsettling, and yet misunderstood. Escaping a relationship is somehow a sign of freedom and self-love, even though it is a very unhealthy expression of it. 

In order to overcome such duality, men have to relearn to feel and rediscover who we are. I also intend to cover healing through feeling and other matters that due to lack of space cannot be covered in this blog post. I have used the example of heterosexual relationships to explain this, as it is the most common, but this is not discriminatory of any other form of sexual expression. Deep down, we're all souls. 

Men have been misunderstood for so long that it is not surprising that we have also learned to misunderstand ourselves.

Before I finish this blog post I'd like to break a lance for parents. Parents do their best in the education and upbringing of their children. We must forgive our parents for everything we believe they have done to us. If we had it rough, you can be assured that they had it worse and that with each generation the quality of education and awareness towards becoming a healthy human being are improving. 

Finally, what it is understood as separation, and in most cases an insulting lack of loyalty and affection, it's nothing but the misinterpretation of reality and the true causes for men's lack of commitment in relationships. Deep within each man there is a soul wanting to come out, and one true romantic looking for love and self-love. It's just that we don't know how to do it yet. And instead of not listening to others, we have to learn to listen to ourselves.

Waking Up The Goddess: Why Women Will Change The World & Why The Support Of Men & Society Is Necessary.


For too many centuries and up to the present moment, women have been like footnotes in history books that no one bothered to read. Confined to a secondary role, they have been cast aside to serve the needs of society and men. In the present era circumstances have changed as there seems to be a gradual movement towards equality; but we are not there yet. We are still far from reaching the necessary level which would guarantee the balance beneficial to all in ways the human mind cannot yet conceive. Men still occupy the majority of senior positions in all public administrations, private business and corporations. Even when a woman holds a professional position equal to a male colleague, the inequality still reflects in lower salaries, for reasons beyond comprehension and which clearly points out at a covert discrimination fuelled by the historical inertia propelled by the archaic beliefs and rules of a patriarchal society that no longer provides for the real needs of humanity.

These beliefs created by and for the convenience of patriarchal society continue deeply ingrained in the collective psyche and affects everyone. The most blatant representation of this effect is the gratuitous violence against women and the rape culture that is suppressing the wonderful qualities of women generation after generation after generation. It is not the case that more rapes are committed in present time, but that women and an increasing part of society had enough of this systematic and endemic form of oppression. There are more cases reported due to a simple fact; women have a stronger voice and they're no longer alone. There is a increasing number of men that will no longer stand for it either. I happen to be one of them. The role of the administration in this social plague is shameful and deceitful. No government or administration has established a viable plan which even begins to touch the surface of the problem. Worse than that, there are no signs that they have any intention either. The role of the media does not fall short of shame, as it only serves as a distracting tool broadcasting the tragedies that the same neglectful administrations are causing throughout the world. For as long as men have control of the administration from their Ivory Towers, this problem will continue to be a shame to men and society as a whole. The fact is: the current state of the world is not working neither for men, nor women.

But not everything is doom and gloom. There is hope. One way to change the world is to tackle the problems that we have here and now. Instead of doing this, we are creating more. What we do today can change the world forever. It is our actions what will transform the world into a place in which we can all live together and not against each other. 

As a woman there are two factors that you need to consider in order to transform and project your true self to the world, as these are the most significant and have more influence that you would imagine in who you are today. First, there is an obstacle which is going to prove difficult to overcome, but not impossible. The fact is that the treatment that women have received for centuries has left a legacy in energetic terms. Every action that has been taken in the past to coerce freedom is still here. This energy works as an invisible chain which stops you from expanding. It is an energy emerged from limiting actions and it continues to be restrictive today and now. 

Unknowingly you are holding prisoner a wild woman within that when found and liberated will show you who you really are. The wild woman is not one that destroys, even though she is a powerful warrior and she would not tolerate such imposed barriers. She is a warrior of love. Love is all that is needed to bring down traditions that go against humanity. There is a wonderful scope to expand in front of you. Remember this and believe in it. This world is going to change and women are going to play and already playing an essential role in this transformation. In case you didn't know; you are woman, Muse, Thinking Muse and Goddess. Do you still wonder why unconscious men fear you? You are incredibly powerful and when you begin to show your true self to the world with love, fear will subside. 

The second factor plays in your favour and it is your greatest ally. Having played a secondary role throughout history has also given you centuries of empowering energy which is raised from love. Love is the most powerful source there is and can heal all. From the beginning, the participation of women in society has been crucial in order to perpetuate the continuance of human life. This is obvious information we all know, although one which significance I believe escapes the awareness of the collective. Giving birth to a child is something no man will ever understand, as it is physically impossible to experience. What we experience we don't know, and what we don't know we fear. 

A woman is a Goddess of Life, a creator. In essence women are more caring, loving and nurturing. It has been centuries of nurturing not only humanity, but the soul. Women are much more in touch with the soul because from the beginning of existence you have been in touch with your feelings and emotions absorbing the pain and suffering of humanity in silence. And it is through feeling that we heal. Do continue feeling and continue crying. Do not allow anyone, especially men, to make you believe that you are hysterical or mad when you do. You are a woman and you feel in ways most men cannot understand. Feelings and tears are healing. If the whole of humanity began to cry at the same time today so as to feel the collective pain and suffering, the world would heal from all its misery. 

There is magic to the invisibility in the actions of women; those actions that are taken for granted and which provide day after day for numerous things which seem to be planted there for the use others. Mothers are the best example. You nurture, love, care, create and provide. We only notice when such things are no longer there. 
The signs that women are more in touch with the soul are fairly obvious. Women are more spontaneous, ready to sing and dance in public more often than men. You are more vibrant and colorful. It shows in women's choice of clothing and personal items. Anyone who has been observant in public might have seen this scene. A couple are in a shop looking for items to decorate their new home. The woman sees an object that speaks to her soul and in most cases the man's response is: this is too expensive or it's not practical or I can make that. A woman is looking for the soul in all objects, to bring colour and rhythm to the house, while a man is still building a fort or a shed in which everything is practical and cost-effective. Balance is the key. This world lacks colour, as it lacks soul. And here is where women are crucial, but so are men.

It is time for women to organise, create groups and cooperatives, foundations and gather in a collective and creative effort. The soul allows for a creativity that has not yet exploded in the world. It is also time for women to begin to support and empower each other in both, common and personal endeavours. This is a process that takes time and patience. What it cannot continue is that women prey on other women because of personal differences due to beliefs. I see multiple examples of this every day. The question 'To be or not to be'  has now changed to 'cleavage or no cleavage', and it is painful to see. If we don't respect others, we will never have their respect. What we give we receive. Everyone wants to love and be loved. Let's allow it and let's do it together. If you on the other hand are more the individualistic type and have a project which you believe you can do alone, do so. There are no rules when it comes to creativity and how we proceed. What matters is that you use your creativity, imagination. Be persistent, be flexible and do not be discouraged. Success takes time and often sacrifices. Begin now. Join a group already established or create one.

So far we have two energies which influence you. The one which can transform the world is the energy that speaks to the soul and from the soul. It is not a matter of fighting the restrictive energy, but to use and expand the creativity of your true expression. By giving more attention to such energy with your actions you will be contributing to its expansion. The equation is simple, as the creative soul occupies more of the spectrum of life it causes the other energy to recede until it disappears. This is a daily task; it is a long journey and even though it is a collective effort, your actions, no matter how small they appear to be are important, as this also contributes to your personal transformation and your way to freedom. No one is going to do the work for you or for me. This is work we have to do ourselves. It is possible. Everything is possible. 

I am sitting while I write at Southsea Coffee co. in Portsmouth. There are two 'waitresses' dancing, talking to each other as they work. There are two more members of the staff. It is not clear whether they're working or not. A third one come and sits at one of the tables after greeting everyone. There's a smile in all of them which goes deeper than their faces. To call them waitresses would be an understatement. We are not job descriptions. To consider the people who regularly come here as customers would be another understatement too. It is a place in which souls gather to enjoy the company of others, as if we all had a prearranged agreement to meet and it is a beautiful synergy to see. In this case the soul of the owners is expressed through a physical establishment, making a strong, uncompromising statement to the world. It is a collective effort. And this is home. Home is not the physical place in which I was born. Home is the true essence of each individual, that part of us which we fear to express openly as we somehow believe someone else will come to harm it. The soul cannot be destroyed and it is always intact. As an individual we can get completely detached from the soul, but the soul is always there. This place is a clear reflection of what we together can do to transform the world. One day at a time. 

The effect that this movement will have in the world is extraordinary. Ask for help when you can, and when there is no one to help, ask the universe. It is listening. The shift of energy is already happening. Know that there is a large group of men supporting you even if they don't express their voices too loudly. Bring them in to participate, not to organise or lead, but to support you. You would be surprised the response of men we asked. If someone is not receptive, let them be. There is no need to explain yourself. Keep doing what you want to do. The energy that you are going to produce is not only transforming you, but everyone around and eventually the world. We are our actions. If you are a man reading this, you may want to read my blog post 'Balancing Energies: Restoring Male Energy and Raising Female Energy'. You will understand why our help is needed. 

I intend to write extensively about this topic as integration and acceptance of each other is essential. First, for both men and women separately, to bring both genders together, as it is together we change things. There is a simple reason why men and society must participate in this process, and this is because both have an incredible opportunity to blossom when we allow the energies and creativity that for so long have been suppressed. I'd like to hear your opinions and any questions you may have on the subject. Regardless of what gender you fall in, before you dismiss this idea, ask yourself whether you like the world as it is or you would like to see it transform. Remember; you can make a difference. 

Making A Difference: How You Can Make A Difference In Your Life And In Others.


In my blog post 'Finding Your Purpose In Life: The Spiritual CV' I already shared insights and directions to find our true purpose in life. It is usually the case that when we try to find out what this is, most of us tend to seek greatness, great feats for the world to see. This is not necessary. Our true purpose is what we do here and now, what belongs in our daily routine. Whether you make spoons or create the most beautiful, inspiring films, the way we make a difference is by touching the people we have near, not those who live on the other side of the world. If you have the means to project your vision to thousands or millions, continue doing so. The truth is that you might have made a difference in the lives of thousands already and you don't know.

Recently I met a woman who was seeking guidance and a sense of direction in life. She claimed that she had not been lucky in receiving help when she asked and that she felt somehow invisible. Unfortunately this is too frequent a feeling in modern society. We live times of scarcity and most people tend to procure for themselves forgetting how important it is to share with others. Paying a compliment to someone can make a great difference to their lives. It is a simple as that. A compliment; nothing we consider extraordinary, but that has an incredible effect. We might not see how we influenced people immediately, or not at all, as people come and go from our lives. What I know is that once we touch a person, they will never forget the way we made them feel.

People seek guidance and advice from others because they cannot longer see themselves. Humanity seems so detached from feeling and healthy inter-personal expressions, that eventually we forget who we are. In this case, I offered a service for which I charge for free. The reason why I did this was also very simple. She made me smile. That's all it took and all I needed to consider myself paid. I told her that things were going to change and that I was going to repay her with another smile. What this woman needed to know is that with her never ending smile she made the lives of others better and that the only thing she needed to be was just that, be. In a world in which doing something is the constant, in most cases all we need to do is just be.

Be, Just Be: Being is one of the most challenging activities for a person, especially in the most developed countries, where doing seems to be more important than existence itself. Our true essence lies in this state of being. The difficulty lies in the belief that we have to produce continuously. No one likes to be thought of as lazy, hence we continue doing. Being is not lazy. Being is life, what and who we are supposed to be. As mentioned above, the woman I referred to made a difference with her smile. Her smile is a representation of who she is. Too often we ignore facts about ourselves which make a difference to everyone we come in contact with, including ourselves. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What did others praise about you throughout life? Childhood is also part of your life. Don't forget.
  2. What actions did you take or are currently taking that have a positive effect in you and others?
  3. How do you feel about those actions/activities and where is that feeling located in your body?
  4. Is there something specific that you do regardless of what others think because you know it makes a difference?

Find Alone Time For Yourself: Make sure that you find at least 30 minutes every day to be alone and do nothing. Use this time in any way you prefer. The only condition is that you don't do any of the activities you usually do. You may choose to walk or simply sit or lie down. Don't allow interruptions. Find a place where you feel comfortable. This is a good time to do meditation or to begin practising it, if you don't already. If you are an active person who is constantly on the move or busy doing things, you might feel withdrawal symptoms. Stay with the feeling, as it gets easier after a period.

Do Those Things That Make You Happy: Do more of what you like to do. This is simple and you don't need to be told what this is. Just do it. Don't wait another day. One our biggest problems is that we take life for granted. Perhaps this idea lies in the knowing that there is a life after death and that what we do here is not that important after all, but we are here now and this is the period we have to enjoy. Doing the things that makes you happy allows you to enjoy the moment. Now is all there is, so you might as well enjoy it.

Keep Yourself Healthy: Something else that we take for granted is to take care of ourselves. How many times have you left exercise or to begin a healthy lifestyle diet for many tomorrows that never came? Our feelings and emotions are strongly affected by what we put in our bodies. Stay away from alcohol, drugs (recreational or over the counter), fast or salty/sugary foods. My opinion on prescription drugs is that they offer little or no benefits, but this is a personal choice you must make. This is my personal experience and opinion. You do as you feel. If medication does not offer a solution there might not be any point in taking it. Everything I mentioned contains either alcohol or chemicals or both. Chemicals and alcohol lower your consciousness and they way you feel. You might need to detox. Use expert opinion or find information that helps you with this process. Do you research. Taking on an immediate detox program could have serious consequences depending on your current health condition.

Write A Plan: Write down everything you can do and everything you feel you can do even if you have not done so for a while. Include activities from as early in life as childhood. Use your memory and remember how you felt then. There are two important points to consider when you write your plan. One, begin with what you have now. There's no need to invest money. Your time and energy is your investment. This is not a business plan. Eventually it might become a way of making a living, but for now all you want is to have fun and make a difference. Set a flexible and realistic goal. If you don't feel that you know what your true purpose in life is, this process will help you to identify it. When we begin to do something we must let go of our inherent need of control. What is important is that you create and play in the process. Have fun with it. If it's not an enjoyable activity, then it might not be what you want.

Just Do it And Do It Now: Do what you feel that can make a difference. You might choose to do this online or in person. I do both and the fact is that it makes a difference to many either way. Doing what you want to do organically might bring you more satisfaction and what you need, as well as allowing you to meet new people. This could translate into friendships and endless opportunities. Do what you want to do and don't listen to anyone who opposes your ideas. Follow your heart, not the negative beliefs of others. What you need to do this is simple, belief and persistence. Trust in the process. Not everyone is going to like it and they don't have to. Do not be discouraged if others don't respond positively. Take one day at a time. You are not here to save the world alone. Just do your bit. Do it now. Don't wait for another tomorrow.

Keep A Diary: Write down your activities, experiences and feelings. Don't use too much of your time in writing. Keeping a journal will help you to see what you did when you started and everything else along the process. If at some point you feel you have lost connection with the initial intention, go back to these pages.

Ask For Feedback: It is important that you get feedback from others at least at the beginning. Feedback will help you to gain confidence and to seek more opportunities to do what you enjoy.

Accept Something In Return: Whether you have decided to do this free of charge or to receive payments, allow yourself to accept something in return when offered. Do not be discouraged if others tell you that you should not charge for using your talents. To this day we all need to make a living and any contribution that helps you to continue doing something that is going to improve the world must be accepted and encouraged. Leave room to help those who cannot afford it and do it for free. The people who are suffering the most are those struggling to make ends meet. Accept different forms of payment whether this is money, goods, time, services, energy, etc.

Be Selective: The fact that you can make a difference should not become a burden. If you are good and successful at what you do, others will seek you and it might become an overwhelming experience. Learn to say no in order to maintain a balance. If you do too much or give too much of yourself you will get exhausted. Don't. Rest and do as much as you can. Get excited about the idea, but don't allow the experience to drain you. And again, you are not here to change this world alone. Let everyone do their part.

Be Yourself: This is the great opportunity in your life to show yourself and others who you truly are. Do not be afraid to show yourself. Others might tell you that you have changed and they might not even like it, especially those who are closest to you. Remember two important facts. Most people are afraid of change and without change your personal development remains stagnant. It's up to you to decide whether you want to be in the same situation you are now forever or to grow and expand in healthier and more positive ways. Eventually people will understand and see what's good in you and accept it. Most of the people considered the greatest achievers met fierce opposition at the beginning. Resistance is only present to make your senses sharper and to bring out the best in you. It should be an encouragement, not a deterrent.

It Is An Adventure: In any adventure you must take risks and enter the unknown. Begin with what you know and as you advance go beyond what we know. You are doing this to help yourself and others. What you do will be inspiring to many. Encourage others to do the same, always in their own way. You might choose to take on this venture with someone else. Any adventure is full of action and surprises. Enjoy it. There are three important things to consider. Responsibility, fun and humbleness. Put together they work wonders in any adventure.

The Butterfly Effect: What you today makes a difference not only to you and others you come in contact with, but to the rest of the world. If your achievement for the day was only to make another person to feel better, that's enough. Praise yourself for every achievement no matter how small it seems. What it seems small to you it might mean the world to others that day. In most cases that person would either return the favour or pass it on to someone else. Whoever feels better because of you probably has a family or friends they will meet later on. The energy you have helped to create, even if invisible and hardly imperceptible to you continues moving in all directions. When you touch one person, rest assured that they will touch others too. What you do today is of utmost importance to change the world. Choose your actions wisely. You might see the effect or you may not, but you can end making a difference to thousands of people without knowing, and this is an important fact to remember. When you hear that one person cannot change the world, you are only hearing the words of someone who never dared to do it. Do you work in silence and without expectations. The rewards will come back to you in many different ways when least expected.

By now you have read a list of things you can do to make a difference. It is nothing extraordinary, nothing out of the normality and probably you were aware of most of it, if not all. If so, what's so special about this text? What makes it special is not the text, but those who do and those who don't. By doing you will undoubtedly make a difference. At some point in the process you will also realise that those personal limitations you might have believed for a lifetime are beginning to disappear and you will expand in ways you have never known. The more you do, the better you will feel about it. You are following your heart and if your heart is beating with a new rediscovered passion, you are in the right direction.

There are those who don't and those who do. Anyone can make a difference if they choose to. In the end, it is a personal choice and who you choose to be. Somehow, if you are reading this, I know which one you should choose. Just do it, and do it now.

Balancing Energies: Restoring male energy and raising female energy.


There is no doubt in me that the rise of the female energy is essential for humanity to see what this world is supposed to be, not what it is today. Women play a crucial role in the evolution of this process, and so do men. We're both equally important. This is not only intuition. Men and women cannot continue co-existing against other. During the last 8 months I have dedicated most of my efforts to help and empower women; to make them feel appreciated and to show them who they really are, not what and who they've been told to be. The change in this group of women has been significant and most rewarding for them and for everyone around. I know for a fact that the lives of most of them has improved significantly, as they have gained in self-knowledge and self-esteem. They're all in contact with each other, and every day I see signs of this joined effort bringing support, friendship, love and belief to others. Openness and clarity are crucial in every collective endeavour.

During this period, I met mild opposition from some men, and ironically from a few women, although any attempts to stop this initiative has been unsuccessful. This is proof that one person alone can make a difference. You can also make a difference. As I didn't explain the reasons behind my actions, it is understandable to a certain degree that there was some level of distrust. We don't have to explain ourselves to anyone. We do what we do and we speak with our actions. This blog post is not intended in any way to offend or to point fingers at anyone. It is human nature to react to what we don't know or to what we don't understand. I also have to mention that I have felt supported by many men who stood by me. It is however, not my job to teach a woman how to be a woman -this is a woman's job,- but to show them how they are supposed to be treated. My intention was and still is, to show others that love and friendship between men and women is possible when respect and admiration is mutual without any personal gain. What I have received in exchange is much more than what I could have asked for.

Both male and female energy run through every man and every woman. The male energy is beautiful in the sense that it is goal oriented and it is the energy required to manifest. There is an abyss in between what this energy represents, what it should be used for and what it has become. Men alone cannot be blamed entirely for our attitudes towards the world, women, children and every other living creature. Patriarchal society, however, has to answer for centuries of interference with this energy and the current state of the world. Patriarchal society stands as a moral and energetic entity that has spread an education system and a way of living which is, both, obsolete and immoral, as it shamelessly opposes to a great number of its teachings, and promotes the submission of women through explicit violence, the non-participation of children and the slavery and slaughter of all other living creatures. It is not kinder to men either, although we live under the illusion that men are in control and we rule the world. We do not. Patriarchal society is the grand puppeteer. The end result is violence against all  forms of life.

In 2001 I gave a seminar on 'Catch-22' by Joseph Heller at Goldsmiths' College in London. As part of the seminar, students read paragraphs before discussing the topics covered in the book. In essence 'Catch-22' is a novel that denounces the absurdity of war. The choice of surreal humour is very deliberate. It does not make sense. Towards the end of the session I asked a young female, Katherine, the only student who had not yet participated to read a paragraph which depicts the consequences of war, but not only this, a clear representation of what the world is today. The passage describes famine, scarcity, rape, violence, death and portrays a group of desperate men who would do anything, including killing mindlessly in order to cover the tracks of sexual violence so as to escape their reality at the expense of others. Those portrayed suffering are our elders, women, children and animals. Women are forced into sex, either by rape or prostitution as the only means to survive. Children suffer a different reality of hopelessness and scarcity, having no voice. This is the state of the world today. This world is at war. As the paragraph I refer to, was long and without spaces, I asked the student to stop reading in the middle of it before it turned into torture.

The discussion of male and female energy is a current trend and I believe that it is important that we all know these facts. However, I also see that there is a great misinterpretation of the topic, as in most documents the information provided focuses on the abstract, providing no direction otherwise as to how to restore or balance these energies. Most of the information that caught my eye, seems to concentrate on what will happen eventually, but never on how to get there. Things happen by magic when we believe in magic. The fact is, this world does not believe in magic yet. This is an illusion somehow giving false hope that this will happen as a fact without working towards it. To me, this is just another example of beginning to build the house from the roof. In order to change, improve and transform, we have to do the work here and now. Reading this article will give you insights, but the only way to experience any transformation is through action. We are what we do.

Male energy is powerful, not aggressive. It is expansive, not coercive. Patriarchal society has taught us men to behave and understand our role in society in ways that are detrimental to the planet and all living beings, including ourselves. Men fight men, men kill men and men rape men too. This is the clearest indication that men do neither understand, nor are in touch with the female energy within them. There is an intrinsic fear in all males of the chaotic nature of female energy and of women. The reason is simple, what we don't understand we fear. What we don't seem to realise is that by rejecting this all-embracing energy, we are also opposing our natural ability to lose control, which in turn would allow us to be free from the inherent human need of control.

Chaos and loss of control has to be understood from a creative perspective, as in, playfulness, dance and expressiveness; never from a place of physical destruction. Loss of control would allow you to expand personally and be free from the limitations imposed by the norms and education of patriarchal society. We do not harm anyone in the process. In order to restore the female energy, men have to step back. The role of men is not to rule, but to allow women to flourish. Control is fear; allowing is love. Women are the physical representation of the female energy. In one sentence, they bring colour, creativity, passion and dance; they're more in touch with the soul and their feelings. Through feeling is how we live and heal. Most men are not in touch with their feelings. The role of men is to support and allow, both women and the female energy in the world. What we allow blossoms. What we do instead is to suffocate women, not realising that what we do to others we do to ourselves, and that in turn, we are also suffocating ourselves.

By suffocating the growth of women and the female energy, first, we are smothering our own growth; the personal and collective development that would allow us to become the stunning beings of light we all are. The reason why mankind suffers is due to the use of our energy to stop and coerce the expression of others. Secondly, we are also inviting the role of women to adhere into the lower states of collective consciousness that prolongs pain and suffering in the world. Let's understand this new role as a learning playground in which our souls play and dance together. This is the true role of men in the world, to allow and support women without forgetting ourselves. The benefits that men will receive in exchange are beyond what we can possibly ask for.

This blog is an example of it. It has been created and designed by a woman and it is supported by her on a daily basis. I only do the writing and little more. She does the rest. I only helped her when she was in need. I didn't ask her to do the amount of work she does; she offered instead. Not only this, she encouraged me to do it. She could see the intention, the talent and the potential. By allowing and supporting her, she gave me a vehicle for expansion and creativity which is proving to be an extraordinary ground for my learning, as well as for helping others. And for this I am very grateful. Too often we don't see that what we do for others we also do for ourselves.

Allowing and supporting women, does not mean that we exchange roles. The purpose is not to create a group of women that rule the world, but to work together so no one has to rule over anyone or anything. The idea that the world has to be ruled by anyone is ludicrous. No one should be above or below anyone else and we're perfectly capable to decide what we need and we want in life. We do this together or we don't do it at all. The future of humanity lies in understanding new ways of cooperation, love and respect in which we all are equals. Let's add children to this equation too.

When I talk about women I am not talking about alien species. These women are our mothers, our daughters and sisters. They are our wives and girlfriends; our friends, our families. This is not a separate group from or opposed to us men. All women are family, part of me and part of you. Men and women go together, not against each other. One aim. One intention: Love. Freedom. There are no doubts that the role of women in society has to change so as to begin to express their creativity towards the integration of all. If you are a man and want the women in your life to be safe and protected from the madness and violence of men, begin by treating every woman as if she was your mother, your sister or your girlfriend. What we allow will continue and eventually will come back to us.

This is an active role in society for every man who wants to make a difference. There is no longer place in the world for pejorative terms against anyone, nor violence, nor the rape of another human being or animal. It is the duty of each individual to stop this and to stop it now. Rape and violence is not something that happens to others, it happens to all of us. Next time you are in a situation in which there are men using stereotypes, pejorative terms or foul language against women, don't stay silent and feel the energy of your actions. These men conversations at the local pub or bar aonly serve to train the psyche to elaborate the wrong image of another human being and how they will eventually behave towards them. When we intervene to stop actions and words against others we begin to make a difference by creating awareness. It might not make you friends at the beginning, but as you stand by your beliefs and actions you will begin to transform, gain strength, confidence and become the person you always knew you could be if you're not already. Ask yourself, what kind of man you want to be and how you want to be remembered.

I grew up among women and was raised by them. Due to circumstances there was no male presence in my life until the age of six. It appeared in the form of two different men. One showed me everything I never wanted to be. The other showed me the kind of man I could become and I am now. I made a choice. What I've become is what I gave first to the world, and yes, before I became who I am, I also made mistakes and I continue learning. Today I have the respect I've given. The impression this first man left in me made me revoke the term man and to identify myself as one, until I realised that being a man is not what other men do, but what and who I choose to be. We all decide what kind of man we want to be. It is a personal choice.

The effect that allowing will have on men who decide to change or to continue with their work towards equality, integration and freedom might not be immediate, but as you advance you will see how you gain in respect, love and appreciation. This is a way of living, not something we do today and forget tomorrow when it's convenient. What you give, you receive, and the rewards are greater than anything you could ever imagine. However insignificant you may think your actions are, you are beginning a chain reaction. There are more steps we can follow to restore the male energy and allow the female energy in men, but let's begin for now to build the house from the foundation.

Finally, the process to restore one energy and allow the other is long and it takes hard work. I hope readers understand that this is an article towards integration. As this is a very broad topic in further blog posts I will cover more specific and positive steps to follow in order to achieve this goal. The key words to live by now are these: kindness, respect and love. It is a very simple equation for a great outcome. Add responsibility, fun and humbleness. 

Let's make it fun and enjoy the journey.