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Remembering Self-Love: Week 4. Staying In.

I hope you all had a good time being a cat for a week and purred enough to feel the vibration of self-love. It is time to come out. The intention of being a cat was to see the world from another perspective; so as not to allow the drama of the world to affect your life. The reason why we have to come out is not to indulge the ego. The risks that we feel invincible, separated from others and above everyone else while feeling as a cat are many. We are all different, but equal and in the process of remembering self-love we also have to integrate others.

This week is going to be very simple, but what we do with it might shake our core and allow us to gain some insight into our behaviours and habits.

Giving up: We have to re-examine a few unhealthy habits and let go of them when possible. This is a list of habits that do not help us in any way and clear signs that we might not love ourselves enough: smoking, drinking, drugs -recreational or prescription-, fast food or over-eating, carbonated drinks, over-exercise, fasting diets, mindless sex. There is a quite large array of things and habits we take for granted and which in time become part of our identity.

A short note on prescription drugs: Most prescription drugs only serve to keep us unfeeling and numb body and emotions. This is a very personal choice which only you must make. If you have a medical condition that requires medication you must follow your instinct. Do your research before taking any steps. I can only give my personal opinion and it is in no way a suggestion on what you have to decide to do next. Remember, you are the leader in your life.

A hint to what you might have to look into is to return to the child within. As a child and at a very young age, we didn't do any of those things we do to ourselves today. The fact that everyone does it does not mean we have to do it too. It is true that giving up habits like alcohol can be difficult, as it has been used as a social lubricant for centuries and finding alternatives are not easy. Before giving up on anything make sure you find of other things to do with the time you would spend engaging in these activities. These habits are insulting to the soul and we all know it. On the way to self-love, we have to listen to the soul.

As it is not an easy task, plan before you act. Give yourself a time frame -it could be a month, it could be a year- and don't give up on everything at the same time. Write it down, sign a contract with yourself, and include the rewards that come with it. Focusing on the rewards and results would give you energy and direction. And it is OK to indulge sometimes. As my teacher Claudio would say; sometimes we have to give some sugar to the ego. We are still human.

Watch your talk: This might not appear to be related to self-love, as it is what we project to the world, but it is very important. Listen to what you say. Are you talking about episodes of your life, things you did, people you met, places you visited and are you talking about them, their flaws, the irrationality of laws, habits or situations? Perhaps you are, perhaps you are not.

By judging others, and this is a very common way of doing it, we are creating an energetic field which is preventing the world not only to bring us what we might consider 'wrong' things, but all the good experiences also. A happy life is a life of integration with everything and everyone. Of course, we do not have to engage with negatives behaviours or the harmful acts of others.

When we talk and present our critique to others, or even in our own thoughts, we are avoiding our feelings and emotions. A good example of this would be a business meeting or an after work dinner in which people try and present themselves as strong, experienced and knowledgeable. This might be appropriate in the work environment, but it is a burden to our lives outside the professional environment. We don't go to work to cry, even though some of us cry inside all day long while working.

And very important. Stop talking and thinking about work once you're out. Our jobs is not who we are.

Focus on your experience, your feelings and emotions and do this for a week. You might want to keep a diary. See what emotions you are going through when you have a craving for pizza or a cigarette. What are you thinking at the time? And again, be flexible and creative with it. It is your life and you must lead it in a way that it is going to make you feel comfortable with the choices you make. If stopping smoking is not for you now, it might be in the future. Listen to your body and listen to yourself. Eventually the answer will appear.

In case you missed the first three weeks on self-love . Here are the links:


The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Dealing With Depression: Going Through.

The last blog post 'Understanding depression: From The Beginning,' was dedicated to discuss the origins of depression and to a certain extent how to deal with it by allowing it, rather than try to resist it. To understand something we have to explore it until it makes sense. Trying to ignore depression equals to pretending that our bills don't have to be paid if we ignore the letters we receive. It does not make sense.

Years ago I was involved in a car accident resulting in a fractured leg. However traumatic and painful the experience was at the time, it was a fracture easy to heal in theory, although medical negligence made me live with a fractured leg for three years. Two weeks after the accident I decided to stop taking pain killers, as the medication was taking the life out of me. Instead I dedicated my time to write and finish the academic year in university.

The pin inserted in my leg didn't allow the bones to come together and join, hence the healing process did not begin until 3 years after. During the first 6 months I didn't sleep more than two hours per night. As a norm I only sleep four hours and at least one night per week I don't sleep at all, but reducing the hours of rest to half finally took a toll on me and had a breakdown. The next five days were spent in a clinic where they were supposed to help me recover. I cannot say that I was exactly the happiest man to be around before the breakdown, but I was functioning very well. Five days at the clinic at 20 pills a day took my will to live away. Seeing the effect that the medication was having on me, I released myself from the clinic.

At the time I was sharing a house with friends. It was only when I saw their faces the moment the looked at me that I realised in what shape I was. The next day I went to university as usual. I am not someone easy to stop when I'm determined to do something. My lecturer and tutor had a different opinion and sent me home. He wouldn't allow me in. For two months I lay in bed doing nothing. I remember the excruciating pain that I went through the first few weeks. Every minute of the day I wanted the feeling to stop. Being awake twenty hours a day didn't make it easier.

I was not so concerned with my state of mind, but with the fact that my health condition was so debilitating that I couldn't do all the activities I was used to. I enjoyed going to university, writing and meeting with friends. I also had a job. The only reason I wanted to come out of it was not happiness per se, but to be able to continue with my life as it was. At that stage I was refusing to stop and this was a mistake. Depression wouldn't allow me to do anything. In my mind I was still the same person and capable of doing everything and more with ease. My body told differently.

It took a few weeks before I surrendered to reality. I do remember that moment as if I was there now. I was lying down in bed smoking, staring at the sealing. And my thought was, oh well! I give in. If I have to stay in this bed for the rest of my life, so be it. I don't care. I don't have the energy to fight it. And this moment was what made the difference to what happened next.

The essential element which influenced change and helped to restore my health was feeling. I felt the emotions that came along with the thought. By allowing feeling to go through my body I somehow gave a new direction to my life. Writing, university or work were of no importance. For the next few weeks I continued lying in bed, smoking and staring at the sealing, but I no longer felt inclined to push the minutes forward against a future that never seemed to come. I was comfortable in my situation, as I accepted that that was my reality and resigned myself to perhaps being in the state for the rest of my life.

Two months after, I woke up one morning and depression was gone. I was in bliss; feeling the happiest man alive. The other element which helped me to deal with this episode I just described, as well as with everything else in life was shamelessness. I am neither afraid, nor ashamed of who I am. As a norm, people want to feel good about themselves. In order to achieve such feeling and to make it permanent, we always look for the positives about to ourselves. Nothing wrong with this, but by doing so we neglect to connect with an integral part of ourselves.

To achieve a sense of wholeness and to feel the essence of what and who we really are, we must also integrate all those parts we try to avoid. There is no light without darkness. If depression is in this case what afflicts us at the moment, we must accept and embrace this it and do it shamelessly. There is nothing we have to be ashamed of. If you think that depression is something that affects you only, you can think again. Depression affects almost everyone at some point in their lives.

We cannot understand what we don't allow. Trying to resist depression is no different from trying to resist happiness. Only that of course no one wants to resists happiness. Embrace who you are, every part of you regardless of how dark it seems to you. By resisting parts of who we are, we are only making it stronger and lasting. Shame makes us even more depressed and I do understand that when one is suffering from depression it is very difficult to feel proud about anything. There is no need to broadcast our depression to world, but let's integrate this part in who we are. Depression is not what you really are, although to realise who you are, first you have to go through what you're not.

If you are currently suffering from depression, surrender to it and see what happens next. To surrender does not mean that you are only depression, it means that this is where you are right now. The key to a happy life is to accept what we have now. It is the moment we stop fighting that we can win. And sometimes the best thing to do to find a solution, as it was my case, is to do nothing at all.

If you missed yesterday's blog post on depression this is the link ....  'Understanding Depression: From The Beginning.'

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Understanding Depression: From The Beginning.

Depression is a very controversial topic. The world is full of 'experts' on depression, too quick to condemn a new perspective on the matter, even though they have been suffering from the condition for decades and nothing has so far made a difference. If we have not yet found a solution, it is perhaps time that we begin to consider different alternatives and new proposals. It is not an entity to be taken lightly, as this is the 'medical condition' which causes the majority of people to suffer at some point during their lives.

What I have to say to the sceptics, is that I only write from experience. No one knows my experience better than I do. It is also a matter of fact that during the writing process I feel the energies of the topics I write about. This means that for the last 36 hours or so I have been feeling the energy of depression. However, this does not make me depressed, as I can see through it and I allow it. When we allow energies to flow through us, we surrender to what is. The present moment transforms and in this case, the energy of depression loses all its power. I don't resist any feelings or emotions that appear and simply observe. Depression is a time for introspection, and I am in fact in bliss as I write. In order to reach this state I must neglect my body first. Once the blog post is published the energy disappears and I move on to something else.

I also realise that depression affects every individual differently, as the energy that is built in each person is a composite of all the energies that have been projected on them by others, and that everyone deals with it according to their abilities, knowledge and experience. There is not an absolute answer for all. What I know is that we must go through the experience and that the essence of depression is the same for all. I believe that it is very important that we all share our experiences in order to help others.

The principal reason why depression is still such an overwhelming and devastating force to humanity is due to the fact that we, as a collective fail to allow any new interpretations to deal with matters to which no one so far has come up with a healthy solution. We have bought into the lie of the chemical solution, knowingly perfectly well that it does not work. We keep looking outside for answers and do whatever it takes not to look within.

One might agree or disagree with my understanding of dealing with depression, but no one can challenge my personal experience, as it is a story of success that I'd like to use to help as many as possible. I am neither giving advice, nor suggesting that anyone should follow anything that I write. I am only sharing. If someone had already come up with a healthy solution to any of the topics I discuss in this blog, there would be no need for it; but for as long as there is one person on this planet suffering, we all suffer and I keep going.

Our relationship with depression can appear as early as the day of birth. The transition from the womb to the outside world is not an easy experience for anyone. By the time we are born a new born already has 9 months of contact with their surroundings and they know what is expecting them. For some people the encounter with the violence of reality might have happened as early as the moment of conception. A child conceived during rape would be a very good example. It is most common than most people would dare to admit.

As a fetus our perception is energetic and we feel everything that happens around us. We also feel the emotions that our mothers are going through and of everyone around. A fetus is already a living being and it is very aware of the energies surrounding him or her. The fact that we don't see them does not mean that they are not there.

As a result of this awareness of the future, a child would resists coming out of the womb. When a child comes into this world under this feeling, initially they are weak and over-sensitive. Let's not underestimate this 'weakness'. It is this vulnerability what eventually makes the strongest people. The more sensitive we are the more we are going to feel and perceive our environment. At this moment in time, our parents are burdened with joy and responsibility. Our parents treat us the way they do because they simply forgot they were once children. And in some cases, they even forgot they are human.

Depression appears in a child's life for a very simple reason. This world is programmed to raise and create obedient citizens, while a child is the living expression of the soul. The soul wants to expand through creativity and playfulness, while society demands controlled and predetermined behaviour that does not accommodate either. Playgrounds are great places for children to explore these feelings during the first few years of childhood, but there is an age limit to these part-time fields of expansion. Once we reach certain age and while still being children, the subliminal message is that we are too old to play. When this realisation takes place, the suggestion that we should play is een offensive and shameful. We consider ourselves too old to play. In our minds we are marching through towards adulthood in order to regain the freedom we lost. But as we forget to play, such freedom hardly ever comes for the majority. Instead we turn into our parents, our mothers and everything we disliked as children.

Depression appears as a sign of the resistance of the soul versus a reality filled with lies. For as long as we resist it, depression will always be there to cloud the true expression of the soul. It is an energy field which keeps us numb and lifeless, but it is not who we are. As we don't understand it, we feed it with our resistance and denial. No one wants to be depressed, but admitting that we are is the first step towards healing. It is not that we are weak, but that we have to find our strength in a different source. The basic mistake we all make is to ignore the fact that the child we once were is still very much alive in all of us.. You might want to read 'L'enfant Terrible' to understand how the inner child still controls the life of its adult.

In my childhood there was a family member who tried to convince me and everyone else they knew that I was depressed. I never listened to this person and their attitude which was only devised to excuse their abusive behaviour towards me only served to make me grow angry and stronger. Anger when properly channelled is a very powerful source of energy that allows us to function in life, although it is also incredibly debilitating. as the main recipient is ourselves.

I hear horror stories from my clients and friends on a daily basis regarding how they were treated and abused during childhood. In my blog post 'Children: The Invisible Souls' I already discussed society's attitude towards children and why it is essential that we change these attitudes, by providing a safe environment for them. If we cannot provide a safe world for each of us, as the population increases and the world is overpopulated by more and more angry, depressed and unconscious people, we do not have a future as species.

Children are the victims of the low level of our collective consciousness. The terrifying fact is that we have obliterated the childhood of an entire generation of children whom for the rest of their lives will live under the stigma of depression. First we pump them with sugar, hormones and additives and then we give them the chemical treatment at the first sign of restlessness. As a child we have neither the experience, nor the awareness to deal with depression. We are told what to do. Sometimes obeying involves taking a pill in order to submit to further obedience. And these are the energies that are built in in each individual. This is a clear sign of the neurosis this world lives in and a society surrendered to the inertia of civil obedience, so as not to face our traumas and the inconvenient truths of being human. Hence, the world lives depressed and sedated.

The depression which affects the world today is reactive to the current circumstances. Depression is, however, a blessing that when understood it could help anyone to overcome it and to move into a different state of consciousness. Depression appears as a signal from the soul that it is time for us to pause, reflect and reconsider our path in life, not only individually, but as a collective. The illusion that what made us so unhappy during childhood would ever make us happy in adulthood is irrational. Let's not forget that that child we once were is still here with us now. Perhaps neglected and forgotten, but still here and he and she are pushing through to point out the fact that the choices we made are simply not what we want.

To understand and go through depression we must feel the emotions that are going through us. It is essential that we allow the feeling, embrace it and let it go when the time comes. There is no healing without a process of darkness. We can choose to be distracted for as long as we like, but do we want to continue dragging ourselves through life without having really lived or do we want to break with old patterns and have a better life? Depression will continue being there for as long as we avoid to look into it. We don't like going to work to an office 9 to 5 either, but we still do it every day. Take dealing with depression as a daily duty. It is your life and every day we lose is never going to come back.

In the next blog posts, which is going to be published immediately after this one, I will give a more practical approach on depression and how to deal with it. Although it is not step by step guide, it will explain the essence of it, how to overcome it, and according to the individual, perhaps leave it behind forever. We do not need to live with depression, as we do not need to live with suffering. The first steps are perhaps to remove the stigma from it and to stop burying our heads in the sand. There should be no shame in something that is natural. Depression is not a weakness, but a sign that we already had enough of pretending to be strong in order to please everyone else. There is much more to write on this topic and it will be coming very soon.

If you were interested in reading more, the second blog post on depression, 'Dealing With Depression: Going Through' is already published.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Leadership Tips for men. Understanding Women And Improving Relationships.

Today I begin a new series so as to make it possible for men to have a better understanding of women in order to ease the tension between genders and improve relationships at all levels. This is a free course and there are many reasons why it is free. It is going to be published periodically, but there is not going to be a set day for publication. Men like to be in control of and understand everything. In order to understand women, one of the first steps we have to take is to change our way of thinking, and as a result of it, our ways of acting. Women are unpredictable for their own reasons. To me this is a fact that it's not surprising, and there are many reasons for it. Acceptance of what there is and as it is, is key to understanding.

The blog posts that I will be publishing from now on are not going to give anyone theoretical knowledge, but the possibility to experience it and learn from such experiences. Theory sinks in the mind and only leads to automatisms based on personal interpretations. Even though this is the way we have been taught to learn; learning by memory excludes feeling and emotion from the experience. We don't really learn what we don't feel, hence the experience is stored only in the mind. We want to come out of our minds and begin to think with our hearts. Women are in touch with their feelings. To learn we have to feel the experience. In any case, men do not like to be told what to do, so this experience is going to be flexible enough for anyone to adapt it to their own vision of the world. Without feeling and experience, this is not going to work.

As this series is going to be published randomly and as it comes to me spontaneously, if you don't want to miss it, you might want to follow the blog and get notifications. Also, if there is not enough following it might be cancelled. The advantages of this course are innumerable. What I can reveal now is that it will change your life substantially in a positive way. By the end you will also have a wider understanding, not only of women, but of life and the world as it is and what to do in order to make it a better place. The only way you're going to find out is by following the steps at your convenience. It is OK not to know. It is only when we stop asking questions that all answers come to us. Everything is a paradox.

It is only fair that I also give a warning. The intention of this course is to give men the opportunity to have healthier relationships with women and with society. If these steps were used in any way to manipulate women or relationships, there would be negative consequences. The immediate results that someone would get by trying to misuse this information would not be as expected. My purpose is to promote integration and unity. To use any of it for selfish reasons, will undoubtedly backfire and will only make relationships more difficult. The consequences might not be immediate, but once they appear they will be lasting. If you are reading this I have no doubts that your intentions are good and healthy. What you do with this information is up to you. We can break the rules of men, but we cannot break the laws of the universe. If the intention behind our actions does not come from love, we will never get what we want in life. What is given freely and with love cannot be used with any other energy. Making mistakes is a normal part of life and it is OK though.

You may ask questions directly and I'll do my best to answer them, although I can assure you that most of your questions will be answered by the end of this course. It is in the experience that we learn and it is time that we men as a collective have a new experience. I know that not knowing what comes next is a real challenge for men, so I'll do my best to give new steps as requested. Today I am only going to give three steps. The intention is that we feel the experience. Don't try to understand the way, just live it, experience it and feel it and see what difference makes in your life within a few weeks. By the end you are going to be a leader. Perhaps not the kind of leader we are used to, but one who inspires others to make a difference. And this comes with love and respect from women that you might not be receiving now.

Just in case anyone is interested why I believe I know women better than the rest of men, the only thing I want to say is that I do have the trust of women that men don't. I get much more, but that is for me to know. You are just going to have to trust me on this one, as I am writing this for the interest of everyone.

Be kind: As from today be kind to all women the best you can. This does not mean that you have to accept unhealthy behaviours. This is about being kind to all women and all things female. There is no need for me to tell you what to do. You may choose to open doors, help to carry bags, etc. The choices are endless. You may choose to begin with your close relationships. It is important that you do so without expecting anything in return from any woman. What you do must be done selflessly. Do not question their actions and do not try to understand. Understanding will come at a later stage. I could reveal exactly what is going to happen and describe it so as to understand it clearly. What you are going to learn from this experience has much greater value than what you could ever learn from my words or any book.

Break a lance: Stay away from catcalling and any form of harassment. It doesn't mean that you do it regularly or you do it at all. It is time for men to stand up to situations which make women feel very uncomfortable and even threatened by our presence. Be that kind of man who makes others feel comfortable around you. There might be a need to intervene in certain situations so as to stop this kind of behaviour. Let's do it kindly. It is in situations such as this when we show true courage; when we are calm and change the outcome of a situation. This could happen in a situation in which friends are involved, as in those situations in which boys share sexual experiences in a group or express bad taste towards future behaviours regarding women that might be present in a public space. A change in behaviour might be looked upon with judgment and opposition, but if we really want to understand women, we must make an effort. The importance in this new role you are going to take if you decided to go along with it, is to feel what comes to you with the experience. It could be uncomfortable now, but the rewards will certainly come you at a later stage.

There is a large number of men who do not want to be associated with other men as a collective due to our negative actions not only in the past, but present behaviour. We are still men and removing ourselves from our own gender is not possible. The only way we are going to be able to feel comfortable is when we change and each one of us begin to behave as human beings. It's time that we all grow up towards a new generation on men. Be creative and flexible in your approach. You already know what is right and what is wrong and I'm not going to give step by step of what to do. Use your imagination.

Follow and share: Follow the blog and share this so other men can benefit from it. Sharing will make you stronger. The idea that withholding knowledge from others, so as to avoid them benefiting from it, is based on a competitive behaviour very indicative of male thinking. No one can compete with you or how you apply your knowledge. It's time to show true courage and believe in yourself by sharing and moving with other men as a collective in the right direction. This is a first step.

Finally, I have been hesitating to share this knowledge for several reasons. As I mentioned earlier a lack of followers would only prove that there is no interest. Men don't like to ask for directions and we want to know and even pretend that we know everything. We do not. I am giving this with the best intentions. Now it's up to you how you receive this information. Trust and you will see incredible results by the end of it. It is not easy, but it will be worth it.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Remembering Self-Love: Week 3. Settling In.

The first two weeks of this series were entitled learning self-love. Today it changes to remembering self-love, as this is what we really want, to remember. This is also the time to begin settling in and begin to mark your territory so as to make your surroundings feel like home wherever you are. Home is and always should be anywhere you are at any time. When we don't feel comfortable in one place we are either in the wrong place or we do not feel comfortable within ourselves. The intention is to recognise the places we want to be in and those we don't. It applies especially to people. It is people who make places right or wrong. It does not mean that anyone is bad, just not the right people for us. A very good person can make make the worst choices and still won't be bad. The intentions in all our actions always come from a very good source. When things go wrong, the intention is masked behind the consequences. When we talk about people, let's not forget that we also belong to the same group. It is not them and me; it is we.

Set healthy boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial to remember self-love. It is also one of the most difficult tasks. As our boundaries were trespassed at a very early age by our parents, siblings and everyone else who was close during childhood, we now find it very difficult to set a healthy distance with others. When we fail to set boundaries we take in too much from others and feel overwhelmed. By the time we want to resolve this, what usually happens is that we take drastic actions and we overreact to others. In most cases these reactions are targeted at the people who deserve it the least and those who love us most. The consequences that a lack of healthy boundaries have in our personal relationships can be catastrophic and very difficult to repair.

To set healthy boundaries we have to do so with love, but we also have to be firm. At this stage you want to decide what you want and what you don't want in your life. For this purpose you might want to write a list. Don't make it too long and don't expand too much on any point. The intention is that you feel what is good or bad for you. We do not want to over-analyse anything. We want to feel; hence if anyone is touching you inappropriately in any way, to give an example, write it down, see how you feel and you will know what has to go and what can stay. When we want to set boundaries with others, we must let them know kindly that their actions make us uncomfortable and that you would prefer if they didn't do or say that. At doing so, we also have to be firm, even if our voice is shaking, and feel what goes through our body at the time. Your life will change considerably for the better.

If or when you are in the mood for it, this is an exercise that can help you to set healthy boundaries. You must do this alone and in your own time for as long as you like and as often as you wish. Stand up in a room in which you feel comfortable. Touch every part of your body slowly and firmly. Feel the part of the body that you are touching. The essence of this exercise is to reconnect with your body and make it yours completely. It is your body and your temple. Make your body a sacred space. Touching your body will help you to feel it once again and perhaps for the very first time in a long period. Accept your body as it is now and make a contract with yourself that you are going to love it from now on. You are doing this alone. No one is watching, so improvise and be creative as you wish, and above all feel every action.

Also standing up once you finished the first part of this exercise, draw a circle around you by extending your arms. What you are doing here is setting an energetic field around that serves as your personal boundaries. However, you are not building a wall. It is important to differentiate between boundaries and building a wall which blocks anything or anyone. When we use our energy to block something coming from outside, we are also stopping ourselves from coming out, hence, blocking our personal expansion. A block is unhealthy either way. The purpose is to allow boundaries to grow stronger and organically. This is a practice. Be aware of this field and how people react to you from now on. You might have to rebuild it periodically until you find the perfect boundaries that work for you.

Be like a cat: This is the time you be and feel like your own boss. It is also time to be playful and creative. Take time for yourself. Initially you can do this alone, and as you feel more confident with it you can do it when in the company of others at home. Act like a cat. A cat doesn't obey to anyone. They come and go as they wish. You can purr, scratch your body, stretch and everything else cats do. Ignore the fact that you might not like cats. Feeling like one is not going to turn you into one. Be independent, strong, agile, elegant, comfortable in your own skin, relaxed, confident. Lift your head up and look at the world doing their own thing and rest it again. Be, just be and enjoy the moment.

When you learn to feel like a cat, you are also going to feel all those qualities that will take you to self-love. Purr your way to self-love, freedom and happiness. And have fun with it. It is important that you have fun in the process. Having fun is an act of self-love. And if you have to, feel free to take a nip when necessary.

If you missed the previous posts on self-love, these are the links: WEEK 1  and WEEK 2

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

How To Overcome Fear Of Failure.

Fear of failure is perhaps the easiest of its kind to recognise, as it can be found everywhere around us. The competitive nature of society, running on the illusion that we all must succeed and perform at outstanding levels in ways that have already been predetermined for all of us can deplete any individual of their vital energy. It is, however, an unnatural demand which only serves to provide for the needs of society and not necessarily of our most basic needs. These are the needs of the soul. Love lies behind fear. The possibilities to achieve outstanding things in life can only be found beyond fear. It would be too easy to say, feel this fear and do it, as it is the best way to conquer it, but there is much more to consider. Fear can incapacitate anyone and render them useless.

Before we take action there is an important fact that we must consider. Fear is the main reason for avoidance, hence we do avoid exploring the source of it and in most cases our actions are blind and led by fear or even panic. In the blog post 'Everything is possible,' I discussed the disparity between what we seek and what we truly want. If you have not read it yet, I suggest you do so now, as it might give you an insight into what you really want and why this fear appears in the first place. Fear of failure might not be a fear of not getting what we are looking for, but fear of getting what you are pursuing at the moment. Every step we take leads us to a different stage in life. It is very frequent to make unconscious decisions due to our immediate needs and usually these needs are linked to personal finances. In order to get what we truly want we have to say no to the things we don't want, but how can we do this when the choices we make are essential to our survival: paying rent, bills, food and covering basic needs.

Have you ever taken a new job because you loved the opportunities the position offered to expand both personally and professionally or did you take that job because it simply paid the bills? The answer to this question is most likely the one that guarantees to pay our bills. Taking this kind of jobs is the norm, and as everyone has to make ends meet they are very honourable options. However, for the vast majority, once we compromise due to our needs, we realise that we have ended in dead end jobs that rarely offer a possibility of further development.

In order to achieve success, we must measure the circumstances of the current situation. The jobs we take become traps where we remain for years and even for as long as a lifetime, as it produces a false sense of safety. For as long as our bills are paid and our basic needs met, we do not take further steps. The erroneous sense of safety stops both, personal and professional ambition. By the end of our lives we are most certainly going to experience regret, wishing a new opportunity to follow the dreams we forgot when it is already too late. Do not let this moment to arrive. The time to live your dreams is now and the only way to live them is to pursue them in whichever way we can. Now and here.

One way to overcome the fear of failure is to go through the experience. I have also described in 'Going through,' and effective method to leave fear behind by concentrating on what we can do, instead of paying attention to what we lack. By following this option, we might not achieve success immediately, but the chances that we achieve it are far greater than staying stuck in a place of fear. Fear of failure would undoubtedly stop most of us from taking sufficient risks, which are essential in order to succeed. Once we have identified what we really want the only option is to move forward and try the best we can. It might not work at the first attempt, so we must be flexible, creative and try and do things we have not done before. The main reason why we do not achieve different results is because we continue doing the same things we have learned and done throughout. A change in perspective and action is required.

For the sake of the argument, let's say that I need a job urgently. In this scenario I would get ready to visit an employment agency and find any job straight away, but is this what I really want? Yes and no. I do of course want to earn enough so I can cover my expenses, but I also want to find a job which offers enough flexibility for me to continue working on what I want to do. In a state of panic I would take the first job available and that pays enough or more than enough to have a comfortable life. At this stage I am at a crossroad. I can choose what I know is going to satisfy my needs immediately, or to try a different avenue. It is important that we ask the right questions and that we answer them without delay. How much is enough? Is this job going to allow me to continue pursuing what I really want or is it going to make me settle for more of what I don't want?

There are many questions we can ask. When asking questions we have to be very selective. A few important questions are essential, but too many questions will undoubtedly send me into a spiral of neurosis and therefore, more fear. Questions that cannot be answered are best to leave for a later time and allow life to answer them. It is OK not to know what comes next. For now I do what I can. The most important fact I have to consider when facing this crossroad is what I want to do. In my case, I have to write, as much as I have to breathe. Change writing for your talent and what your soul calls for and you have your answer. It is OK to compromise our time and energy in order to keep going, but if the position that I am willing to take is going to remove all possibilities for me to continue doing what I love, then the choice is obvious. I'd rather sacrifice some of my most basic needs rather than giving up on something that makes me feel so alive and makes me thrive. Writing is an action of self-love and sharing with others makes it and act of love for the world. This is already success. Self-love or any kind of love is to succeed.

Success is also a very ambivalent term and in modern society this is defined by how much we make and how much we are worth. This is a false idea of what success is. One could write for the rest of their lives without achieving fame and fortune and this would not represent failure. Failure is not doing what we want to do. The more we do of what we want to do, the more chances we have to succeed at it and even turn it into a career. Waiting for the right circumstances to come, so as to practice writing, painting or starting a new business would only prevent us from doing what we want. We are always prepared to begin. If by the end of my life I have touched another soul with my writing and made their lives better in anyway, I have not failed. This is success.

When we want to succeed, we have to be persistent and believe that we are going to make it through. If failure for someone represents not getting their dream job, we have to do everything at hand to get it. We ask for help, not only from those we know, but from people who might be able to help us even if we don't know them yet. You would be surprised to what extent people go in order to help others. If we don't ask we don't get. There is also an universe to which we can ask for assistance, and within this universe very powerful forces supporting us and most willing to help. And it is as simple as asking. We have to be patient and persistent.

Regardless of what we want to achieve, the objective is to concentrate on what we want. The fact that we are turned down from 20 job interviews does not mean we will not get the job the next occasion we have. Being turned down from a new opportunity brings a strong sense of rejection, which is deeply ingrained in our bodies from childhood. To overcome this feeling we have to go through this emotion without acting upon it. The more we feel this fear and sense of rejection, the strongest we become. It is also very important that we feel without any distractions. Everyone has their poison: alcohol, drugs, food, mindless sex, shopping, etc. Feel, just feel.

Instead of looking at rejection as a failure, we have to look at it as an experience which is going to prepare us for the next experience. We must also consider that we are turned down for opportunities that seem good at the time, but which eventually would be a hindrance to what we really want. Let's not dwell on the things we cannot get and what we never had. Let's instead apply ourselves and pursue that dream job we don't believe we can get. You cannot lose something you never had. The world is full of wonderful opportunities for those who can wait for the right one. Don't be disappointed because you didn't get it this time. Congratulate yourself instead for having had the courage to go for it. Courage is something we all have in abundance, but as we concentrate only on fear, this is all we see. Write your feelings before, during and after this new experience, be it an interview or something else, and what you showed in your way there. Courage, love, determination, belief and anything else you feel and experience. Nurture these feelings and be thankful for them. Fear is never going to bring us what we want.

Seek what you soul desires and not what the world has told you to achieve. In this way you will never fail. The more you practice what you soul calls for, the more confident, fulfilled and successful you will be. It is a matter of practice. If you have not been practicing for years, do not expect success to come in one day. No one can write a book in one day. It takes time. We can only write this book by working on it as often as possible, and perhaps consider that this might not be the book that is going to make it to the best sellers list, but if you continue writing your books, investing your time and energy on your vocation, business or what you intend to achieve, it will come to you in the end. It is a matter of attitude, belief and persistence. See the experience from a different angle and concentrate on the positives. This and only this is what is going to make a difference in the end. Remember, you already have everything you need and want within yourself in order to make it possible.

And consider this, is it fear of failure or is it fear of connecting with the soul? The soul is the source of all abundance and what makes everything possible. And reconnecting with it is the one true success. Take action and do so now. Thinking about it leads to more thoughts, thoughts to doubts and doubts to more fear. But when we act upon the projects we want our energy goes into the action, not to self-defeating thoughts. Every successful person had their fair share of fear and failure, but they persevered in order to get what they wanted. It might have not been easy for them, but eventually they got there. And you could be one of them. One step at a time everything is possible. Failure does not define you. Your courage to go through does.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Six Reasons Why Spirituality And Personal Development Might Not Be Working For You.

Spirituality or personal transformation is a path without short cuts. Living in a world which offers immediate gratification in every corner at any time, the tendency of most people is to take a break from it and wait for better times to come. The general belief is that we have to be strong and ready to endure the feelings and emotions that come with it. With this is mind no one is ever ready and yet we all are. I believe there is a great misunderstanding in the process of personal development, how it works and what to do with it. While no one can tell you how to go about it, there are certain truths that even though we all can point out, we choose to ignore. Here there is a list of things you might be avoiding. It is not that you are doing anything wrong, but you might want to take a closer look at your experience, why you might feel stuck and what to do about it in order to change this reality. This is not criticism in any way, but a way to help you understand what might be doing wrong. If at any point during the reading you feel uncomfortable with what you read. Stay with that feeling. A feeling is where you are at the moment and the more you feel it, the stronger you will become.

Getting lost in rituals: While I agree that finding the right environment and a place in which we can practice spirituality comfortably, lighting candles and burning more incense is not going to do the job. We must create the right atmosphere to reach the right mood in order to produce the right energy, but we must also be practical. Perhaps you are making your surroundings too beautiful and not paying enough attention to yourself. Giving too much attention to what's outside, might be getting you distracted from what is within. Within you will find all answers. A ritual should be an action that helps you to communicate with yourself, not a distraction.

Love and Light: There are many people for whom spirituality is only love and light. It is true that love and light is the purpose and the place where we all want to be permanently. However, by avoiding darkness we neglect to explore the uncomfortable feelings and emotions which hold all the answers in the end. We can only see light in darkness. Darkness is part of who we are. It does not mean we have to act upon it, but feel it. Show your light in darkness. Meet anger with love. Meet depression with love and so on and so on. There is nothing to be afraid of. We have been given a dark side so we can learn to balance it. This is not a celebration of darkness, but a nudge to embrace it. There is so much we can see in darkness.

You believe you are a follower: While it is important to get insights from others in the spiritual process, it is also essential that you expand on any new vision you embrace. Make it personal and flexible, by using your own experience, creativity and imagination you will get the results you are looking for. You are not a follower, but a leader. And I will keep repeating this throughout. You might be following this blog or not; but you are not following me. The knowledge I share is universal. What you read is only helping you to remember. That's all. When following someone, if they make you believe that you need their direction permanently they are creating an unnecessary dependency on their figure. The reason why you need to begin to think and feel like a leader is because you have to make your own decisions and find your own answers. Others can point out a direction, but in the end it is living the experience that would make a difference. It what others tell does not resonate with you, do not follow. Your intuition is the one true leader. It is time you listen to it if you have not so far. It is as wise as everyone else's.

You are not doing the work: It is human condition to get very excited when we decide to begin any process of personal transformation. Initially we look for the assistance of others. We might see someone privately, read books or attend courses, seminars or retreats. This is part of the work, but what happens in between meeting and meeting is essential in order to transform. Let's say that you have attended a retreat. You feel uplifted and hopeful that this feeling is going to be permanent. It is not. The reason you feel uplifted is because you did the work and you have been inspired by others, as well as from your own input and experience. If the retreat has been going on for a week, this means that you have engaged in different practices non-stop for that long. It is consistency what makes a difference. If we stop these practices and return to old habits, we are going to obtain the same old results. What you learn from an experience has to be continued. Don't wait until you next retreat, do it now.

Buying into new dogmas: Every experience opens every individual to a new truth. We are used to have a need to settle for a new truth too soon, as this is the way we have been taught to function. Somehow we are changing religion for a new spiritual dogma. There was a time in which humanity didn't question religion, as we don't question new beliefs. It is important to question everything. If the new dogma is limiting you in any way to express yourself freely in healthy ways, you might want to reconsider and perhaps expand on this new belief. Take the best of the new belief, mix it with what you already know and create your own belief and keep expanding on it. What works for others doesn't necessarily work for you. Personal transformation is about expansion. This is how you will give expression to your soul. Don't be defined by terms. Free yourself from everything that is established and just be.

You don't believe that change is possible: Perhaps your experience has conditioned you to believe that nothing good is going to come to you. This experience most certainly carries the echoes of the voices of a collective consciousness that tells us that better is not possible. Everything is possible and everything can change in just one second. While challenging the beliefs and ideas of others is a very healthy practice, the most important challenge we can face is that of our own beliefs. If you don't see immediate results, be patient, trust and believe. Be persistent until you see the results you want.

You are not having enough fun: Spirituality is a journey in which we have fun, not suffering. Most religions invite suffering as a way of living. The more we suffer now here, the more rewards we will get in the afterlife. This is a lie which has been very convenient for the church to control the masses in the past, and somehow the energy of this belief is still very strong in modern society. Anything that suggests you have to continue suffering is not a healthy path. Have fun instead, sing, play and dance. Open yourself to the pleasures in life. As long as your practices are healthy and you are taking care of yourself, any practice is spiritual. Running or walking are activities as spiritual as yoga or meditation.

There is another aspect which makes spirituality not work for most people. I will dedicate a new blog post to it next week, as it is very important. I believe that these six points will give you a new perception on how to see spirituality in a new light. For now there is only one more thing to say; the more you put into it, the more results you will get. And above all; do not forget to have fun. Responsibility, fun and humbleness.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Robin Williams: The Messenger And A Powerful Message: Seize The Day.

Some souls reach more people than others. That is their mission in life; to inspire us all. This is the case of Robin Williams, a man who projected his vision and his message to the world as a leading actor. His choice  of projects was deliberate and follow a constant in order to continue delivering a personal dream to the world. But he never did it alone. In following his dream he managed to find the support of others. He could have not done all that work alone. The films that brought his light to shine upon us required a collective effort from countless people who were and continue following a dream. To pursue happiness, we must make conscious choices. It was not only his passion to act, but the work of countless people, authors, screen writers, actors, producers anda large number of dreamers who in a joined effort made the final product possible. We only watched the end result. In order to create beautiful projects and a better world we must do this together. An individual effort is necessary, but it is the conjoined effort of all individualities that makes the difference.

In 1986 Robin Williams starred in a the film 'Seize The Day', based on a novel by Saul Bellow, one of the great American writers, whom also left us in recent years. Robin insisted in participating in this project. The message couldn't be clearer: Seize the day. It is no coincidence that his death serves as a reminder to what we lost and what we might have taken for granted. No one is eternal, although in his case, he somehow reached immortality for as long as all those who admired him are alive.

In 'Seize The Day' Robin Williams portrays a salesman who after losing his job moves to Hollywood in order to pursue a career in acting. Throughout the story, he meets with a psychologist, that in reality is only a charlatan, a guru offering false hopes in order to make a living. He also engages in a journey to face his disapproving father. The clashes between father and son represent the male identity which is challenged generation after generation. With each new generation, the figure of the patriarch tumbles a bit more. The dream of youth versus the stagnation of the old system. Each new generation is more challenging and has the power to break with patriarchal society, and yet, somehow somewhere during the struggle we become what we fight, although our position as men  becomes weaker and less sustainable.

Saul Bellow's novels are a great example of male writing. Robin Williams introduces a few elements to the essence of the book; the vulnerability, the sensitivity and the portrayal of the conflict in male identity. On paper we're all strong. In real life we are weaker by refusing to accept our own vulnerability. The most vulnerable will in the end be the strongest, as it is only when accepting, exploring and feeling our vulnerabilities that we reach that state of simplicity which expresses the soul at its best. And Robin Williams knew how to explore and express vulnerability in all his roles. He touched every soul he came in contact with, as what the soul most wants is playfulness and laughter.

In his role as a messenger, Robin Williams was a man who not only did not fear to expose his vulnerability, but who didn't hesitate to explore his feminine side and show it to the world. Three years after 'Seize the Day', he touched an entire generation in 'Dead Poets Society' with an equal message: Carpe Diem, seize the day. No one better than him to share this message with the world, as he struggled with depression throughout life. In his career, he was involved in projects that not only touched our souls, but that were acceptant of all those topics patriarchal society refuses to accept and explore: homosexuality, femininity, transgender, and a wide array of lost souls in search of laughter, to love and being loved.

Robin Williams chose his works to express the soul, reason for which he touched so many; for it is only with our soul that we can touch other. Perhaps the message he transmitted and which stands above everything else, is that we should be not afraid of depression and we must continue seeking the dream regardless of how we feel. Society should and has to begin to move towards a more accepting position of our vulnerabilities and the integration of the soul. May his death serves us all to reflect upon this fact: that money and fame do not equal a happy life and that after all, what we want is love, peace, laughter and happiness. And Robin Williams represented this. Regardless of his depression, he was a man who seized the day until he felt he could no longer continue doing so.

I could write much more about depression, what represents, what it means to all of us and how to go about it until we beat it. For today only to say that it is a growing concern that affects more and more people and that perhaps we all should look at the world we have created. Maybe; only maybe after some introspection we decide to change the way we live. A society which makes most of us unhappy and relies on medication to continue existing is in need of much more than self-reflection. A change in the way we live is long due and only our actions, both individually and as a collective can transform the madness of the world into something more meaningful and kinder to everyone. Being inspired by a message is not enough, we must live this message by action.

From here I can only say that the message of Robin Williams got to me deeply, not as a revelation, but as a reminder of who I am and who we are, and that we cannot take anything or anyone for granted; that the beauty of life lies in every day, in the here and now, in seizing the day, for there is no tomorrow, as there is no yesterday no matter how much we persist in viewing the future as a repetition of the past. And who are we to judge in which way he left? What is so extraordinary about our choices that gives any of us a superior moral ground to criticise his choice? We fear what we don't understand and more than that, we fear that what we see in others might happen to us. Do not be fooled by any religious beliefs that his final action has taken him to a dark corner in a different dimension. He is now in a wonderful place enjoying the laughter he could never find in life. As a reminder here's a quote from Henry David Thoreau:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what I had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Robin Williams gave everyone the smile and laughter he could not find within. It is now when he is gone that we feel the need to watch his films again, to remind us what we have taken for granted for so long and what we have lost; our resistance to let go. But we didn't lose anything. He still remains here. His soul lingers in all of us. Perhaps it is now that we can take a closer look at his message and truly live a life that seizes the day as if there was no tomorrow. Farewell for now my fellow traveller. We shall meet again. Oh Captain, My captain!

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly

Learning Self-Love: Week 2. Closing Down.

Last week I gave a few tips on self-love. This week I want to begin by making some facts clear. Everything that is suggested in any of my writings is optional. You must do as your heart tells you. You are not following instructions or following me. You are a leader and you choose what you do with your life. No one else. I am only writing to remind you all of something you might have forgotten. As you advance in the course, you will realise that nothing of what you are going to read is anything of another world and that you already knew this, although to really know something we must go through the experience and feel it. Learning self-love is only a matter of remembering by giving baby steps towards a better way of treating yourself. It is not only that we take life and others for granted, but we also take ourselves for granted. Deep inside we all know that life on this planet is temporary and that we are going to be reaching a different state afterwards even if you don't yet recognise it. This sense of immortality that somehow we live by should not stop any of us from having a better life or from loving ourselves, as well as others. What we do here and now is what really matters.

I would also like to make special emphasis on an important fact. The suggestions I make here are not exercises, but practices. The word exercise implies that we have to do something, as well as hard work. It should never be hard work. A practice on the other hand is something we do regularly, a habit that we adopt and which eventually becomes part of our daily routine and a way of living. Understanding this is extremely important. There is nothing you have to do or don't do. In a few weeks and as you begin to see a difference in the way you treat yourself and how others are treating you, you will also find your own ways to self-love. While I know that these tips practised regularly make a difference, I also know that flexibility, creativity and imagination play a crucial role in personal transformation. If at any point you feel that you must introduce a new element to your life, do so. Anything that can improve your life must be integrated.

I believe that many readers must have set a time frame to return to self-love. Please do not be anchored by time. There is no rush and there's no time limit. It will come at the right moment. Everything can change in a second. It's as easy as that when we believe. And now a few more tips.

Say No: Everyone has things to do that we cannot avoid. Whether this is in the professional or domestic environment we must continue doing them the best we can. However, everyone is also surrounded by forces which are very draining and demanding. In the majority of cases this would be people who expect from us more than they should. It is time we begin to say no to these demands. You must decide which one of these activities or requests are draining you from your vital energy. This could come in very subtle and not so subtle ways. Too often people try to make us feel guilty so as to force us to do something for them. When we do not, we are called lazy, selfish or any other term they can think of to get a reaction of compliance from us. In the end, we are not only doing what they want, but we also accept and agree that if we do not serve others we are lazy, selfish or anything else they want us to be. When this happens, we are defined by others. Saying no is a healthy way to begin to redefine yourself. Say no to all demands that are not healthy for you. You already know what they are. Saying no is one of the most difficult things to do for a person. Be strong, say no and stick to it. If you feel guilty in any way, stay with the feeling and do nothing. Eventually the feeling will disappear and you will feel stronger. Once you say no to something or to someone, write it down and see how you feel. Stay with the feeling.

Be Selfish: Being selfish is not a bad thing when is done right. The idea that being selfish is a negative trait comes from the deeply ingrained belief of guilt in the human psyche. There are however healthy ways of being selfish. Do not cause harm to anyone. You must differentiate between harming someone because they're trying to make you feel guilty and harming someone deliberately with your actions. It is a fact that people feel offended too easily, too often. In most cases this is not a feeling, but an automatic tool to manipulate others. If our actions meet with projected guilt, this is not causing harm, but self-preservation. It is time and it is long due that people around you learn that they are trying to make you feel guilty. Say so if you must, as this kind of behaviour is a clear example of being selfish in a very unhealthy fashion.

It is also important that you do not take anything from anyone unless they can give it away freely and/or they do not need it. The ideal situation is to give something in exchange when we receive, but if you are at a stage in which you cannot offer anything back, do not feel obliged to do so. Be honest with the other person and let them know you cannot return the favour right now and that you might never be able to do so. You might be able to do so in the future, but do not create a moral debt that you cannot repay, as this will only lead to a sense of guilt once again. Do not feel guilty or refuse to accept something from someone who does not want anything in return.Trust. Many people give freely, as they understand the importance and the effect than giving has individually and collectively and they are in a position to do so. Do what is best for you and if possible do it alone. By doing things alone you are taking responsibility and you will gain a sense of accomplishment and resourcefulness you might have not experienced before. Again, write it down and see how you feel. It's important that when you experience a new feeling you stay with it.

Go Out: This is a date with yourself. Take time to be alone and go out alone. Treat yourself to something you enjoy. Whether this is to have a coffee alone, a meal, go to the cinema, the beach or simply go out for a walk, make sure you take time for yourself. In learning self-love is crucial that you learn to be alone not relying on the presence of others to make you feel whole. Make it an interesting experience, use your creativity and imagination and be flexible with it. Maybe this is the time to treat yourself to something you've wanted to do for a long time, but you never found the time to do. Treating yourself is an important part of self-love. You deserve it. Perhaps you will end meeting someone special during your outing, but do not make this your purpose. If you are in a relationship let the other person know why you are doing this. Once this is done, congratulate yourself and make it part of your routine, if not every week, once a month.

More next Thursday. If you missed week one. This is the link for it. And see you here next week.


The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings.

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.