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Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life.

It´s easy to numb feelings in a world that constantly nudges people with contradictory, messages and unreal expectations dictating what a person has to do, feel, think or be. By the time someone decides to live an unfeeling life, they have already developed a marked character, personality and a set of beliefs that will define their identity probably for the rest of their existence. 

Even though they´re equal in nature, the delivery of these messages and expectations are different, more calculated and subtle. They´re echoes of what parents, family, friends and teachers taught or tried to teach you from an early age, but also unloving and with the deliberate intention to show that you´re not enough. It´s a clever way to tell you that you that you don´t have free will or any other choices than those already formulated.

There´s a moment in childhood in which almost everyone somehow gives in to the formulaic ways of the world in order to be loved. While love is what we seek, most of us would be contented with being accepted by others in order not to feel alone. The alternative, not conforming to parental rules or society's expectations can be the beginning of a tough life, but also an interesting and fascinating one. Eventually we all bite the bait in one way or another, but those seeking to see the freedom within represented in the outside world won't stay for too long and will move on to new adventures. It's the call of the soul.

The process of adaptation to the world in a child is heartbreaking. Children's actions are founded on love, but as what the child receives in return is far from it, one tends to withdraw. Love and trust make us vulnerable. This vulnerability is understood by the world as weakness. Any kind of emotion whether in a man, a woman or a child is met with condescending or bullying. Even the most loving parents can bully their children. Often, their bullying actions are conscious, but even when their intentions are to toughen up their children, it causes a damage that can be irreparable in many individuals. It also displays the actions and beliefs of an unconscious person.

The immediate reaction in a child is to numb their feelings in order to survive, to preserve the inner beauty for better days. This is an instinctual reaction that serves as a defense mechanism. The barriers we create to love work in both ways. They protect us from being hurt, but also prevent us from fully loving. One can still experience love or to fall in love momentarily, but by this point, love is something not to trust. The unconscious speaks to body and mind of a previous hurt; one that one might not even remember as it occurred at an early age. 

It's not fear what scares people most; it's love.

Some people would never believe they have been traumatised, nor admit to trauma, as they experienced what it's considered a normal and loving childhood. Sometimes the sense of abandonment can be as simple as a parent being distracted for a few seconds during an interaction. It doesn't have to be a violent event. 

Detached or unloving parents can have a traumatic effect on children, leading the towards an unfeeling life.

Fear of love influences every romantic relationship. Numbing feelings is a form of slow suicide; one that deters the individual from loving fully. People can still fall in love, if only for a while, but at the first symptom of abandonment from their partners, they'll withdraw. 

A blog entry on fear of love can be found on this link.

Choosing an unfeeling life leads to create a narcissistic personality to one degree or another. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. Some develop them more than others. It's possible to return to love from a narcissistic personality, but that would be a theme for a different blog post. 

In this way, an individual will choose a partner they don't really want to be with. It's easier to leave them. For this purpose they grow feelings for someone to experience love, but never to have a long term or meaningful relationship with. In some cases such approach might backfire, as they do fall in love, at which point they'll begin to sabotage the relationship in every possible way they can imagine until their partners see no other option that to leave. A person that is closed to love would sacrifice a relationship with a person they'd probably spend their lives with, just not to feel vulnerable. 

All barriers to love raise once again. They feel numb and their minds rationalise thousand excuses not to love the person they're in love with. These type of people move on to another relationship fairly quick, if not immediately, as deep inside they feel empty and alone. They need company, as well as feeling loved and wanted. The paradox here is that they can't live without love. Once again they'll choose someone they can't love, and in occasions someone they might not even find that attractive. It's a safe zone in which they can be strong and in control. Anything is valid in order not to show the vulnerability that appears when we fall in love. 

Numbing feelings might offer the impression that one is safe momentarily. It could be for long periods of time, years of even a lifetime, but there's a point in which missing someone they want to have a deeper connection with present itself. The longer we choose to remain in the prison of an unemotional life, the harder feelings and emotions will hit at a later stage.

The only escape from feelings and emotions is to feel.

The approach to life is unconscious. A decision that most likely was taken in childhood and which can affect the most wonderful people. This is one of the reasons why people do not meet their ideal partner. While someone is being distracted by lovers, meaningless affairs and people they can't really love, the ideal partner is elsewhere leading a different life, but also waiting for them. It does take courage to love.

An unemotional life also prevents the individual from showing their best and unique qualities to themselves, as well as to the world. It prolongs the feeling that you're not enough, and even though it's not admitted, a strong sense that you might not deserve love. Either way, it hurts. Being brave enough to admit it to yourself is an entirely different story.

There's true magic in love and in unleashing the authenticity of the true self. The magic within each person is endless. It transforms lives, states of being, improves health, as well as personal lives and relationships. 

While this is a common problem in modern society, it's not one to be judged, but exposed. Numbing feelings might prevent negative feelings and emotions from reaching the heart, but it also prevents to live a life In Love, which is where we come from and where we all belong. 

An unemotional life also has consequences in relationships with other people, especially friends and family. As the barriers grow stronger, sharper and more numerous, it's almost unavoidable to hurt others, including ourselves. It creates isolation, depression and despair, a further sensation of being not good enough or being undeserving of love. 

As one feels that they're not deserving of love, the believe that others aren't also grows. No one will ever be enough. From then on it's a long and painful journey back to love. The safety one believes they live surrounded by increases insecurities, affecting self-esteem negatively. 

There's a way out of this prison through feeling and emotions. The more we feel, the less one will be affected by such emotions. Emotions become weaker opening up the wonders we all have within, to a life of authenticity, inner peace and confidence in which anyone would experience a healthier state of being, living in the knowing and patience that love is always at reach. It allows us not only to open up channels to find true love with the ideal person, but to improve our relationships with others. 

There's always a solution to everything. It's as simple as taking the lead and give one step forward and out of the prison one day at a time. There's no rush. Whether you're single or in a relationship, use your time and energy to improve yourself to do all those things that you always wanted to do, to follow your dreams, to learn new and different things, to visit new places. The list is endless. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and see the magic happen. 

There's a high cost to an unemotional life, which is not to live from your heart; not to live at all. One might feel protected in this situation while young, somehow feeling invincible and immortal, but there's regret at the end of the tunnel. Regret for an unloving and unexplored life. There's no such thing as an adventure, if this adventure is not travelled within.

Vulnerability makes us stronger, as we rediscover a new type of strength and confidence that lie within. It takes you beyond fear. Sometimes a leap of faith is as simple as that.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.

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Men And Emotions: The Legacy Of Patriarchy.

The emotional body is formed by unprocessed feelings and emotions. Feelings and emotions arise from personal experience. These also received and perceived from the collective experience. Everything is energy. Everything is connected. When not felt and processed, the energy produced remains stored in the body causing all sorts of automatic reactions, creating habits, patterns in behaviour and even influencing someone´s character and personality. The energetic legacy that a person can unknowingly carry is not limited to what they experienced in life, but also the legacy of centuries of patriarchy with everything that it entails. 

In many ways, the human being is a ´puppet´ to the emotional body. Feeling helps to process emotions, and through feeling one can find the source of the emotion, so as to separate from it. A memory, a situation of the past always finds triggers in the present bringing up the same uncomfortable emotion. There´s no escape from emotion. An unprocessed emotion will always come back.

As women are more expressive with their emotions, it´s popular belief that they hold the exclusivity. This is not only an illusion, but a convenient truth perpetuating the lie of the patriarch. Women are in touch with a wider array of emotions. It´s that simple.

Popular belief does not necessarily match the truth. In fact, currently there´s not much truth circulating the world, neither personal, nor collective while individuals and society lives imprisoned within the emotional body.

The energetic legacy can be understood from the perspective that everything -past, present and future- is here and now. It´s not so much that we´re dragging the heavy burden of a shameful history and bad education, but that we continue doing, thinking and believing centuries of indoctrination based on fear. 

It´s shocking, although not surprising, that in the era of information when truth can  be easily identified, humanity continues reinforcing a system that is obsolete, going against personal and collective interest. It´s no longer necessary for the elites to control the masses; we do it to ourselves.

The elites do as they please. We respond to everything by going on a tantrum on social media, displaying the attitude of the inner child. A child that has to be nurtured and loved if we want him and her to grow up. 

The common belief is that men are not emotional. There´s a degree of truth to the previous statement, as men are not taught to express or process their emotions, but to suppress them instead. This is, however, a trend that´s changing. From an early age, boys are encouraged to be strong and competitive, to be the best, to not cry, to man up, to deal with it. Everything that their parents couldn´t be, they have to become.

Tears, which are natural in a human being, whether male or female, are interpreted as a sign of weakness. This is another common belief. It´s no wonder that collective consciousness is at an all time low. Tears are healing, liberating, and intrinsic and natural vehicle in a human being on the path to freedom. 

We cry as children when facing a situation that separates us from the truth of the soul, somehow knowing and accepting that this is the way is going to be from then on. Eventually that child is so absorbed by the new reality that the only way to go along with it, is to block the emotion. Boys train themselves not to cry, so as to avoid being seen as weak; to try and prevent uncomfortable situations such as bullying or name calling. 

The pressure that a boy of a young age feels to be ´strong´ is unbearable, as well as destructive. Little by little, this boy would learn to suppress their emotions, separating from his true essence. The truth is that such interpretation has the opposite effect. It makes us weak. Inner strength always remains within, but being able to connect with it can prove to be a hard task. Men are not weak, we´ve been made to believe that we are.

A boy´s childhood can be compared to a boot camp, a period in which a child is merely trained to make it in the competitive world. Fortunately, this is also another trend that is changing. The pressure one is put under is not to be taken lightly or something that one can just "get over it". As a child learns to suppress feelings and emotions, he´s also learning to negate the best in themselves until all or most of their natural abilities are forgotten. 

In time such disconnection is represented by an unreal and ´weak´version of what this child could have been. It´s through feeling and processing emotions that one returns to rediscover the treasures everyone holds within. It´s never too late. 

Suppressing our natural abilities causes boys and men to focus on external, superficial expression. Everything becomes superficial. As we lose the connection with the core, the impression is that nothing and no one has depth, a soul, not even a heart. From this moment on, and as we hurt inside, we have a ´licence´ to hurt others. Natural empathetic abilities are lost, and as we can´t feel, the belief is that others can´t either. 

Living an unfeeling life, it´s no wonder how appallingly one human being can treat another.

The truth is that everyone hurts. Everyone is on the same boat. Everyone has a soul that is pushing through to come out once again to show the best of ourselves. Pain and suffering won´t stop to appear in the most uncomfortable ways until we reconnect with the inner truth once again, and by default with universal truth.  

Men are emotional like any human being. However, the emotional scope in men is limited to emotions that are socially acceptable to feel and express. The association with strong and aggressive emotions such as anger or rage might give the impression that men have disassociated from others such as shame, sadness. Yes, there are bouts of happiness or joy, but a person who´s permanently associated with anger cannot be a happy person. This applies equally to both men and women.

In order to avoid feelings of shame, abandonment or being not enough is usually covered up by anger, thus avoiding to deal with the real emotion and current situation. 

The figure of the angry man perfectly illustrates this point. This is a figure that has been elevated to a mythological status,  and which promotes more anger. The social validation of men, anger and the spontaneous reactions and consequences form a dangerous cocktail. Prisons are full of angry men, as graveyards are inhabited by the victims of such fear and anger.

It´s acceptable to be the ´angry man´ when our past has a trail of hardship, and by default understood as a natural cause in someone´s life. It´s not associated with an emotional state, but as a consequence of difficult life experiences. In the case of women, -rumour has it- they´re are always emotional, as women can move from anger to sadness to happiness within in a short period of time. It´s a way to process feelings and emotions faster. It doesn´t mean that women have learned to deal with their emotions in order to fully heal either. But how could they -or men or children for that matter- seeing how they´re treated feeling constantly threatened with anger, rape or violence? 

Men do not escape the constant threat either. Everyone is vulnerable. We just got used to it and deal with it in a different manner.

It´s ok to feel and express anger. Anger is a energy that when used creatively can bring extraordinary results. Many of the experiences both, men and women go through during childhood does not invite healthier feelings. Being angry is a sign that one is not enough. To feel that you are not enough is one thing, the truth is something different. You are enough. Everyone is enough. Whether you´re a man or a woman, you´re enough. 

Society´s validation or compliance with the figure of the angry man is the shameful legacy of patriarchy. An angry man that´s causing mayhem led by a set of false beliefs accepted as the only truth. The inner child only knows one truth, and it´s not a good one.

Reconnecting with the body:

In order to avoid emotions, men tend to process situations mentally, thus creating further disconnection between mind and body. In so many ways emotions are useless, as are our mindless reactions to them.

Avoiding emotions causes an energetic imbalance. Reacting with anger to every emotion produces the same effect. However, processing emotions allows everyone to return to their true essence. From an early age everyone is told that we´re not good enough and made to feel so. By accepting and continuing with the types of behaviour that at one point in childhood we knew to go against our true nature, not only we validate the statement that we´re not enough, we embrace and embody it. 

There´s a time in life in which one ought to take responsibility for who we are, and if we don´t like it, change it. It's time to stop blaming our parents, society and their entire world for our unsatisfactory lives. We are society. What every man has to be aware of is that their beliefs, thoughts, behaviour and actions are representative of the collective. Every man´s action is reflected on every other man across the world. As it is, any man has to make strenuous efforts in order to prove to the world that they can be trusted, to clear an image that has been tarnished by the behaviour of every man before we arrive to the place we´re now. 

Like everyone else I personally went through a long period in which I was made to believe that I was not enough. Even though since the moment of birth I´ve always felt complete, knowing that I was enough, there were times of doubt, low moods, despair, anger and rage, as I continued to listen to the oppressive noise of the world. 

Everything began to change when I realised that the noise of the world was merely an internal voice that I kept repeating to myself. As I got in touch with who I really am, I neither doubt myself, nor have the need to prove myself to anyone. When someone else´s doubt is thrown at and projected on me I respond with a powerful silence. If anything, the doubt of others serves me a compass that shows me where to remain or not.  

Having to prove ourselves to others due to the fears and insecurities of others only serves to deviate from who we are in order to please them. It´s offensive to my authenticity; an insult to my true essence. 

My thoughts, beliefs, behaviour and actions speak for themselves. I do not need to speak about it. I am, of course not perfect, nor I want to be. Nor I am better or worse that anyone else. Just different.

However much I´ve always identified with the knowing that this life is about being a better person, not a man or woman, I´m also aware that biologically I was born male. I am also every man, as you are. I´ve chosen what kind of man and person I am and want to be. What kind of man you are and decide to be, is up to you. Just know and remember that your actions and behaviour is projected on every other man, and that in itself is a great responsibility. 

It's exhausting to have to pay for the mistakes of others for the mere fact of sharing the same gender.

Every day we are face with multiple choices that determine whether we're authentic and true to our inner truth or we continue pleasing the dictate of the patriarch. it's hard to be authentic to our true nature in a world in which everyone seems to be offended. Taking offense is just another shield to avoid responsibility and emotion, so as to stay in the uncomfortable comfort zone.

For what's worth, many women lately are also choosing anger in order to avoid feeling and emotion. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their feeling and emotions or this is not going to end well. 

There's freedom within you, but you have to feel and probably cry your way to it. There's an easier path to freedom, and it's here: The Key To Abundance.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 

The Key To Abundance, Consciousness And The Higher Self.

Within each individual there´s an inner compass which allows them to follow the path towards abundance in all forms imaginable. Unfortunately it remains overlooked in the shadows of the unconscious. People are hardly aware that it exists, as society rarely provides the appropriate parameters and platforms for personal realisation. Everyone knows the meaning of integrity, but rarely its true value or what's gained by embracing its energy.

We´re all society, therefore, what everyone does to improve it and change it with the purpose of creating a world that serves the needs of everyone, not only a few, is of the utmost importance. 

Everyone´s contribution is important. No exceptions. Sometimes all that is required is a simple act of kindness. There´s no need for great achievements, nor grand, public eloquent gestures. Simplicity contains an enchanting energy, which is often overlooked. Simple, is enough. Everyone can do their best without comparing to what others may or may not do. To improve the world, we improve ourselves. 

The world is in serious need of a new education system that provides true knowledge and the suitable tools that people can manage from the moment of birth in order to grow up with the feelings of internal peace, love and happiness. An education that tells everyone that we are good enough as we are. An education that is not based on fear. As currently this is not the case, one has to return to love learning how to along the way.

This inner compass is integrity. The definition of integrity is: "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change". It also means, wholeness, undivided. 

When we look at this definition, it's easy to interpret that being honest and having moral principals must match those already established by society, religion and tradition. 

The kind of integrity that allows an individual to reach a certain level of awareness and conscience, so as to become whole again and in touch with the higher self, might differ from that of the uniformity of society. It can be recognised through feelings and emotions. Every person on earth is given multiple choices daily being free to opt for one or another at any given time. These choices do not always represent a moral dilemma. A person could be following a certain type of diet and decide to skip it when no one is looking. It is the feeling that follows after, which affects emotions, the state of being and always comes with a lesson. 

Actions, thoughts or a few spoken words are inevitably followed by feelings. In order to sharpen the senses, so as to identify this inner compass one needs to pay attention the immediate feeling. It's easy to recognise, not always easy to follow. A clear example of how an action or a situation affects someone's emotional field is as simple as to look for a cafeteria or a bar. There are places someone would not visit because it offers a vibe that does not match their energetic field. When this is the case, to enter a place not of our liking causes an uncomfortable emotion. The feeling was already there at the door, as a premonition of the emotion to come. Why we keep choosing the wrong place to be might have to do with the fact that uncomfortable is familiar. Familiar is not necessarily healthy.

The same applies in interactions with people. A person chooses to communicate with some people, but not with others. The key to find it is in everyone's personal choices. During communication with others, the problem arises when the people one chooses to mix with do not add any value to their lives or personal growth, but subtract time and energy instead, and yet, they do continue engaging with the same people for different reasons.

These are simple examples that help to identify what one is truly looking for; an emotional state of well being. Integrity is a commitment to the self, not so much to others. Acting in ways that deface our values and integrity due to peer pressure never brought any good to anyone. It causes separation from the core. The more these actions are repeated the longer is the journey back home, the journey to love.

Following the integrity compass might not be an easy task. It requires to abandon habits, certain beliefs and ideas that at some point were understood as truth and might be deeply ingrained in one's belief system. This represents one of the major obstacles in personal growth. People don't like changes. They might not be supportive nor understanding of the new you. 

It's impossible to have integrity and follow your dreams while still trying to please everyone around. It might take a lot of courage and a great amount of energy to be yourself once the process of expansion and growth has begun, but it's worth it. 

If there's no commitment to the self, there can be no growth or it would be delayed for as long as we stand on the fence pondering whether we should be authentic or not. Often, what deters someone is not others, but one's own fear of the unknown, fear of leaving behind certain aspects of their lives and personality traits that have been with the during a long part of the journey. Not knowing what comes next, may lead to doubt and hesitation. While we wait to give a step forward in the right direction the same mistakes are repeated again and again.

Embracing integrity brings one great benefit to life, which is the narrowing down of the options left ahead. As you leave what no longer serves you, you will be presented with different choices and opportunities carrying different energies that would certainly lead to better emotional states. No one can jump from one stage to the other without removing habits, beliefs and actions that only act as heavy burdens. Being used to it doesn't mean that we must follow them by inertia. It's essential to let go. 

However comfortable one may be to continue acting in the old ways, it is perhaps important to notice that many of these types of behaviour, habits, actions and thoughts have been conditioned by others, society, culture or religion and that in most cases have been adopted in order to survive; in order to be accepted. Question everything. 

It's also possible that mistakes made are not fully conscious. For this reason, paying attention to our emotional state at the time would provide with an answer. In a way, this is trial and error process. You are the student and the teacher. If one continues seeking an answer, they will certainly find it.

As one growths in integrity, they create a different energy within, one which is more in tune with the true self. The new energy vibrates at a different frequency attracting new people and situations. It's a matter of feeling and emotion. Do you feel depleted, numb or uplifted?

Perhaps it's easy to embrace integrity when alone, but the true challenge comes when communicating with others. This aspect is the of the utmost importance and one we have to pay attention to. It's often the case that we talk to people expressing fear, as if coercing them into making a decision that they'd rather didn't take, in order to be benefited from such interaction. When communicating with others, they must feel the freedom to make their own choice, transmitting an energy that whatever the outcome may be, we remain unaltered. It's their life, their decision, thus it's a situation that should benefit them.

We can't talk of love while we're trying to achieve it by fear. If it's not love, is better not to have it at all.

There is a child within, a child that exists long before the inner child is born and who has all the answers. Integrity is what that child would do in each situation. When in doubt, ask the child, they have feelings too. Which emotional state this child lives in is always up to you. Integrity is the path to freedom, where love lives. You were once that child; whole and undivided. You're complete as you are, but you might not remember.

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.

For soul readings visit this other page.