If You Don't Like It, Change It.
Change can be daunting depending on who you are and what you wished for, especially when letting go is required. What we think, what we desire and what we believe play a much more important part in the development of our lives than to what we allow ourselves to think. Change can be sudden, manifesting a present full of upheavals in which life makes no sense. Change requires an incredible amount of courage in order to face what life may bring during such periods.
Courage lies deep and strong in everyone's hearts. There are no exceptions. Everyone is well equipped with an unbelievable capacity for it. If most of us don't know of this ability, it is only due to the fact that might not make use of it often, and yet, every day we see extraordinary displays of courage that mostly goes unnoticed.
Periods of change might not come along as planned. I'd go as far as to say that they hardly ever do. In order to make certain changes possible, so as to improve what we already have, it is necessary to let go of the old. The 'old' might have been playing an important part, allowing us to function and achieve what we wanted, but as we grow more ambitious, having a clear vision of what we want, it must go. One can either decide to let it go of its own accord or to wait until life redirects us to where we want to be.
It is this second part, the one in which we lose control of present events when fear could enter our most immediate reality. From this moment on, we can either choose courage or to dwell on circumstances. Perhaps at this point it is necessary to emphasise the importance of experience in life. No one can grow and develop to their full potential without going through the experience however negative it might appear to be. Experience and how we respond to it determines what we become.
Often life introduces these changes as a roller coaster in which someone cannot see what direction to take. There's a sense of loss, of being lost and perhaps the overwhelming feeling that we're alone. No need to panic. We all have blind spots. In the end, the Universe knows what's best for us. Be careful what you wish for.
A few months ago I decided to join a community. I had lived there years ago, so I knew where I was going. Before joining in I wrote to them with my goals and intentions and what I could offer. Their immediate response was excitement. I was going to bring in guests to the house and expand on my shamanic and healing work. In addition, the intention was to create workshops to attract more guests and business. In our initial conversation it was clear on both parts that what was important was not the business side, but the work. In this case, money is important and necessary, but it plays a secondary role. What matters is the healing and well-being of others.
We are, but mere vehicles to induce different stages in others. Healing comes from within, and us, healers, shamans and any other title for which we might be known, can only contribute and have a positive effect on people because we see the best in them. The real healing comes from each individual person, and only when they see their ability to heal.
In time it was clear that I would not be able to do my work there. The constant requirements of the house demanded too much time, effort and energy from each volunteer, much more than what was requested initially on paper. Three months after I had not done any work, losing all clients or the possibility to move on to my own space. Fear could have made the best of me at that moment. Whether I remained in the community or not, the options of a healthy future were bleak. My response was to leave without a place to go or the money that allowed me to find a place from where to begin again.
The morning I left I had no place to go to.
I left for London, found a place to crush with a friend and continued finding my way. Within a week I had found two different places where to stay. Not only this, I found temporary work that kept me going. A week later my girlfriend came to visit. We spent two wonderful weeks living the moment, without a worry for the future. To us it was, and it is still clear that the future belonged to us. Together.
So far it has been an intense experience, not knowing where I'd stay next or where money would come from. However scary it might have been, it has also been a wonderful experience, meeting beautiful souls that have provided kindness and love to keep me going. I found more temporary work, and as I write I have my own accommodation. In any instance, it is not my intention to settle for comfort, but to continue working and finding what I want, which is what I wrote in my last blog entry: Keep Walking.
Leaving the community was a leap of faith, which so far has come with unexpected rewards, love being the most rewarding and enlightening. Had I settled in the community due to fear of not knowing where to go or what to do next, I have no doubts that I would have lost everything, including myself.
Of course, circumstances threw me out of my comfort zone in ways that I have to admit I had already imagined. From here there's nothing to lose and everything to gain. Being a writer, I've always understood life as experience. Sometimes it has been wonderful, sometimes it has not, but overall life has gifted me with everything I needed.
Within a few days I'll be travelling to France to visit my girlfriend, continue working and writing, but with not clear definition of what comes next. The intention remains. Love, faith and trust are powerful drivers. Whether I'd stay in France and begin a new life there or I'll return to England is yet unknown. The Universe will provide for everything I need and more, and eventually the charity I intend to create will materialise.
During this time I've seen and experienced the kindness, love and generosity of people, one of the basis to do what I do and which impulsed me to take this decision: the good nature of people. It is together that we will make it through and undoubtedly change the world. We do this together or not at all.
No matter what the circumstances may be, do not settle for the convenience of mediocrity. Take a leap of faith, jump into the unknown and discover the wonders that life has prepared for you. The circumstances of the brief period of this journey only apply to me. Your circumstances might not be as risky. Lead a life that delivers what you want. The Universe will certainly provide for your needs. It might be uncomfortable at times, but try to settle for mediocrity and routine and see regret inevitably follow at some stage in life.
I've been told that being so daring is scary and could lose everything. I'd dare to say that courage and every leap of faith I've taken has so far presented me with a wonderful life full of love and incredible rewards.
You have what it takes to make your dream a reality. If it has not manifested yet, it is only because you might have not allowed yourself to tap into your full potential. It is there, within, everything you need and want lie, perhaps dormant in you. Take your time, take a deep breath and go and get it. Don't wait until you believe you're ready. You're always ready.
Keep your heart open and fall in love with the possibility. It is endless, full of fortune and all the love you need and want. It is a wonderful adventure.