Does It Make Any Difference to Men Being Decent To Women?
I believe that common decency towards women in men should be standard. It's not. From a woman's perspective, it's not a behaviour that has to be rewarded or praised. Common decency goes both ways. No man embracing this way of living expects anything than the same treatment from women. In fact, it is a practice to apply to anyone, both men, women and children. Sadly, it's not the case.
The world in desperate need of a reform in education that teaches people how to grow being a person, to understand that being either a woman or a man is merely a biological factor. An education that eradicates all clichés on gender, so widespread and so damaging to all.
There is, however, a wave of blame and condemnation towards disrespectful men. It is an immediate reaction to intentional and mindless mistreatment, which is somehow excused according to a group of men's misogynistic Bible, then, often reported by women to the world on social media. It is understandable, and perhaps necessary, so as to spread awareness and critique on one of the current issues that is halting the development of humanity, as well as causing at times an irreparable damage in the relationships between men and women.
Every action causes a reaction.
What many men do not seem to understand is that the actions of one reflects on every other man, or that the woman who has been gone through a negative experience will be conditioned to expect the same behaviour from other men, thus affecting their personal relationships perhaps for as long as a lifetime. The actions of one man can either create a positive or negative energy. The world we live in can only be transformed by the energy we create. This applies to women too. It's not only the responsibility of men to create a better world.
Somehow we are expecting others to come and safe the day, change the world. Apathy won't give us the world we need, but the world we accept.
The response to common decency.
No one should be expected to be praised for their common decency. Reciprocal behaviour should be enough, and this is also widely understood. However, seeing the state of the world, it wouldn't go amiss to let the world know that there are wonderful men out there doing their best with their actions and behaviour to create a different reality that suits the needs of everyone regardless of gender. Most days, and in most cases, these men remain invisible. The one to get the attention is the bad boy. Let's look at this example. A woman works in a coffee shop. Throughout the day she might serve two hundred men. All except for one would treat them politely and with respect. In this case, it is the man misbehaving the one to get the attention and whose actions would reach all corners of the world in the form of a complaint. Following an emotional reaction renders all the other men invisible, misrepresenting the rest of the whole gender.
Social media is an incredible platform to contribute to create a better world through awareness, sharing emotive and positive stories, different practices that might help others to improve their well-being and as result an immediate present. No matter how often this fact is repeated, the Internet is full of images of cats, meals, complaints, threats or acts of defiance, as in, if you do this, beware of my reaction. Social media could contribute to raise consciousness, as well as to improve the levels of conscience so needed in the world. There are wonderful messages to project into the world, articles, blog posts, videos or personal views and messages.
Social media as a platform to raise consciousness.
The energy we create.
While it can't be argued that bad behaviour should not be denounced, the common trend to report every single negative interaction between men and women is only contributing to create further neurosis in a world already neurotic enough. At the same time no one can ask that every sign of kindness, love or respect to be shared on social media. But there is no balance. Giving too much attention to the negative continues creating the image that every man on earth follows the same book. Misrepresenting a whole gender is not the answer either. Women distrust men even before they've been faced with a negative experience. At the same time, men respond to this energy in negative ways, from the belief that he's already guilty until proven innocent. There will never be a positive outcome if the energy that the world continues producing is permanently focused on the negative.
What women want.
The same energy that is used to report bad behaviour could be used to express a woman's desires and wants. Not all men have the same perception, education or level of consciousness. Many people, both, men and women do not know of, or believe that there might be a better reality out there, that different actions and types of behaviour would bring them what they want. It is as simple as letting men know what women want and why. However, the current reality might be loaded with a misrepresentation of what a woman wants in the eyes of men, with a heavy dose of irony, as there is still a large number of women who still choose to fall in the arms of the bad boy. Yes, the irony, that leads to negative experiences and further complaints. A large number of men change their ways, from behaving respectfully to behaving badly because they see that common decency and good ways are not truly appreciated, as well as seeing women they like constantly falling for the man so heavily criticised. While it is clear that the human being is the most irrational of all, it might be time to speak of a criteria that one can also follow.
Looking down on common decency.
Having clarified that praise should not be the standard answer, one should not be looking down on it either, or not to show appreciation. This is also common decency. Until humanity reaches the point that this type of behaviour is golden, as well as silent, and so it should be understood. Many men following this path feel invisible and unappreciated, not because they are not rewarded for their behaviour, but due to the fact that the image that is created of all men is negative, as well as misrepresented. Invisibility is an energy like everything else. He who feels invisible will be invisible to the world. The consequences of this, reach far deeper than what one may think. It leads to frustrating experiences and emotions that might be repressed for a while, even for long periods, but which eventually can only explode. Invisible is also a time bomb.
Moreover, if what one wants is not appreciated, they might never find it or even lose it. One cannot expect to find it again what they let it go assuming that this should be the standard. It is not. Gratitude is a wonderful energy filled with amazing rewards. A plant that is not watered would eventually die. In this case, common decency is a plant bound to die. We can't have what we don't appreciate.
Men and behaviour.
There is a need to establish a new dialogue that creates safe spaces to create and consolidate relationships between and women. Everyone already knows what men are capable of, however, not every man represents a threat to women, nor every man is a rapist. Men have been pushed into a corner where we have to defend ourselves for the fact of having been born male.
Education, awareness and collective consciousness.
A better reality is possible through education and awareness. Those in charge of education won't move a finger to change the educational system because it's not convenient to them. There is a large number of memes, blog posts and articles on the spiritual warrior, which is turning into an online projection of personal image with an air of the mysticism, but which lacks commitment with more serious issues such as education, politics or simply creating awareness that leads to a more widespread idea of consciences, and which, in turn contributes to raise consciousness. Consciousness cannot be raised if before there's not a change in conscience. It is everyone's responsibility to contribute to a new education in whichever way possible. If social media is all we have, let's find educational ways to use it.
The world could change in a day if most of the population had the courage to put their foot down and say enough is enough.
Personal vision and experience.
Personally I put my foot down as soon as I learned of the idiotic ways of patriarchy, which can be traced to my early years. I paid a heavy price then but it also came with amazing rewards which are now paying off. Regardless of all negative behaviour and the atrocities that one human being can commit against another, I still believe there's much hope for humanity, as I see goodness in all, or at least in the majority of people. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. Even those who lost their way can be brought back to a kinder and more loving reality.
In regards to relationships with women I've been given enough reasons to hate them all, but I neither hold this feeling for the whole, nor for one in particular. Do I need to report and denounce every mistreatment I've received from the 'opposite' gender? Clearly not. It is my choice to remain loyal to who I am and live with my heart, as well as to choose the energy I project to the world. Instead I'm striving and thriving doing what I can within my possibilities to create a better world. What others did to me, they also did to themselves. However negative or damaging some experiences were, I've also experienced much goodness and love; an incredible abundance of love. How to lead my life it's up to me. We can only lead by example, so as to see others becoming the wonderful representation of the human being they really are, and the true leader that everyone holds within. The only way we can improve the world, as well as the relationships with others is by improving ourselves, and creating that change within. Once this is a reality, the world also changes. There is always that thing called love if one has the courage.
All men are the same
Blame culture: why men are not fully growing
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