The Anatomy Of Melancholy: That Place Called Home.
Everyone is born with a memory of the place where we came from, a place in which we all belong, a place we call home. As we grow up and we learn the unconscious ways of the world this memory vanishes, but the feeling remains. As human beings, home is a feeling. And home is where the heart is.
For some people the moment of birth can represent a real trauma, as they know what's waiting ahead for them, for this, we also know we're born. And these are the people who remember home more vividly than others. They are here to remind you and take you there, back to your heart, back to love; back to being in love. They are here to inspire and to make you fall in love.
The human experience is a journey of forgetting and remembering. It begins at home and it ends at home. At the moment of birth each of us is a beautiful expression of light and love; pure consciousness. With age, the feeling of love or the intensity of it decreases as we learn fear. With the fear of death, we fear life. A paradox considering that we are going to that feeling we long so. If only we could turn inwards and find the answer within instead of looking everywhere else and in every one else.
In a recent correspondence with a friend I told her that "it is a tragedy that children are not taught about death or home", as if avoiding the subject prevented anyone from it. Death is part of the journey. Fearing the inevitable only prevents the joy of life. There's no death but life. The soul is immortal, and if we remembered where we came from we would make peace as we prepare for it.
My friend replied: " I teach my children about death. That it is nothing to fear. As they are little you can only say things age appropriate, so I say that our body's die, not our souls. And that when we die we go home. Home is a place where our souls came from and feels like thousand cuddles or more. That we are here to love one and other." I pick my friends well.
My impression is that these five children are going love their childhood and grow up to be healthy adults with a knowing of this feeling, follow their hearts and always want to be where they are; living that sensation that home is here and now. And the description, "it feels like thousand cuddles or more" is perfect even for an adult, as at home we only feel love and supported.
To understand the here and now there are three elements that together explain this. Time, energy and space. Everything that exist, everything that ever existed and everything that will ever exist is here now. In human form most of us cannot perceive the reality of home before birth or after death. This is due to the fact that that these realms exist in different dimensions. However, the spirit world is very real and some of us can feel it and see it, and I'd go as far as to say that most people have turned a blind eye to it, but it is there, accessible to anyone at any time.
The spirit world is source of fairy tales. These are not figments of the imagination. Magic and miracles take place all the time and fairy tales are very real. It's only a matter of knowing where to look and how to be. That's all it takes.
As an example, energy is what gives identity and idiosyncrasy to countries. The energy of events that took place centuries ago still remains here. This is one of the reasons why change at a collective or individual level is so difficult, as we all live under the influence of such energies. Energy creates beliefs, habits, traditions and everything or everyone that deviates from the norm is excluded from society in one way or another, which in turn makes most people to conform to establish rules. Such energies are not to be underestimated. There are very powerful and controlling. It's like wearing an invisible corset that does not allow the soul to breathe.
Everyone wants to love and be loved, hence exclusion from social groups produces the illusion of rejection, while in reality what we do is rejecting ourselves by associating with circles in which we're merely accepted, but never give us what we truly long for: love.
Conforming to the norm separates us from the heart, as we follow rules and traditions that creates further distance from the soul. The soul is an adventurer and it is here to love, to play and explore, not to follow social etiquette.
The more we compromise our decisions and way of living, the greater the feeling of nostalgia for a place that we remember but that is no longer here. It doesn't matter how far we separate from the heart and the soul, this feeling is always there. The further the distance, the more overwhelming it becomes, but also the closer we are to going back there.
Throughout life we meet people that remind us of home and fall in love with them or simply share life with. If circumstances separate us from them, heartbreak and melancholy inevitably follow, as we associate the feeling of home to another person and places not realising that home is in the heart, that nothing is lost, that everything is here. We fall in love with the energy in others that remind us of that energy that we believe we lost, an energy that we recognise, but cannot quite feel. That energy is within. Everything is within. For this reason letting go is as important as falling in love.
Letting go is one of the most beautiful paradoxes in life, as we let go we feel that energy returning to us; we no longer need those people or places.
Anyone can remind us of home. As we have all been brainwashed somehow into believing that the normal way of living is by coupling in a romantic relationship with someone, this is the only thing we look for. We fall in love with the energy and the idea of love in order to fill the emptiness of our longing, or at least we do it for a while. We can't fully love anyone until we feel at home. We might call them companions, lovers, partners, husbands or wives, but the feeling of home is never in someone else, but within.
This is not to say that current relationships are not real; they are, and we are here to love and through love to remember home. Love has to be explored and expressed in any way we feel like it. Love is free and we have the freedom to do so. In love there are no common rules to follow. Everyone is entitled to their very own free and authentic expression. It's only that we fall in love too often, too soon and in many cases we force ourselves to it, in order to avoid loneliness instead of exploring it.
Loneliness is a wonderful path through which we can return home by learning to love ourselves and get to know the self. Loneliness is a space, an energy and a time for introspection, reflection and meditation. It might be filled with darkness, sadness or melancholy, but it's also a beautiful place for transformation.
At the same time, we meet people that we immediately reject. These are the people that remind us of all those parts we do not want to explore: depression, loneliness, laziness. The list is long. Fear of understanding others is fear of understanding ourselves. These people, the rejects, are the ones that we have to work with and help in order to heal ourselves. By facing our fears and working with them, the effect that we produce is real alchemy and magic, but this we don't know because the natural impulse is to move away as far as possible from them. Everyone is a mirror. Helping to fix the mirror we fix the reflection.
We cannot save anyone, but can save ourselves. This is how we make a difference in our lives and the world; by healing the self first.
The one true tragedy of humanity is how we treat the heart and the soul, both individually and collectively. By rejecting others we reject ourselves for reasons that only benefit the ego. With every rejection the heart closes a bit more, until it is impossible to love. How many love with their minds! The more the heart closes, the harder the heartache.
The solution is easy in principle, but not so in practice. We do have to stop fearing heartbreak. We have to love it instead. The only way to heal a heartbreak is through love. There is not other way, as well as being necessary to open the heart again, so as to be able to fall in love once again.
But heartbreak is no the only experience we fear. Humanity's cynicism and fear of pain and suffering is currently at such high that we also fall in love. We no longer trust anyone else because we don't trust ourselves either. The paradox here is that the more open the heart is, the easier it is to deal with heartbreak. Heartbreak, like death is unavoidable. It is also necessary. Trying to avoid either, stops us from living and falling in love. And not being in love is cause of all neurosis and known disease.
The response of an open heart to heartbreak is very different to that of a closed heart. Imagine the pain of heartbreak for a minute, then the heart opening the next. This is true alchemy. As the open heart focuses the intention and energy in love, not on the loss or pain it transforms the energy from a negative to a positive. An open heart keeps loving, while a closed heart dwells in all sorrows.
An open heart celebrates to have loved. A closed heart fills with regret and negative thoughts. The answer is to keep loving, to focus on love and to love the experience for what it is or it was, then let go and move to the next experience. We cannot fall in love again with while we have a broken heart. It does not work, it is not real and it's not love, only a way to escape from pain. An open heart feels the pain all the same, but has the courage to face it and love it.
Let's stop trying to find meaning in dogmas, religions or galactic sagas to name a few, -the answer is not there,- and let's learn to love the self. Get wet in the rain, get your hands dirty, break your heart without fear and feel the pain, travel the world, dance and celebrate that you're alive and that you've loved before it's too late and the heart fills with regret and chances we never took.
Only when the heart is open we can begin to re-structure the anatomy of collective melancholy and begin to draw a new map of the world. In Love. A place where we say I love you, and the soul echoes: this is safe, this is love, and this is home.
And to all of us who never forgot we can say: I Am In Love. We and they know what it means. And one day soon you will know it too. Once we're all there, there will no melancholy for the melancholy we lost, only love, and that extraordinary feeling that wherever we are, we are home.
Now say it: I Am Home and repeat it until you remember.
My new book is now available on Kindle.
This book is a journey through the all the phases of heartbreak, exploring its unknown or unperceived origins, and how it affects a person throughout life, influencing thinking, behaviour, personal choices, relationships and in particular the hurt after separation. It offers a simple, practical healing method with practices easily adaptable to everyone's experience, taking the reader to the liberating moment of letting go. It is also an examination of the stage of being in love, and how by listening to the call of the soul, anyone could live in a permanent state of bliss.
Read more on Amazon.
Posted by Manel Blanco