Falling In Love And Letting Go In Love.
Years ago I heard Claudio Naranjo say that people think that being in love is madness, to what he added: "madness is not being in love!". I couldn't agree more. In love is our birth right, the state in which we are born. It is a natural state in which we can be in love, fall in love and letting go at the same time.
To a person who is conscious of what being in love is, letting go is also an act of love.
One must distinguish first between love and lust, between infatuation and the true feeling of love. These are different dimensions. Lust and infatuation are created by the mind. Love is driven by the heart. It is easy to distinguish between love and anything else. Ego might be telling a different story if love is not corresponded and persist in desperation to no avail.
It is easy for the mind to believe that one is in love, when they're not if the heart is not open. Of course, the heart can open to love anytime. Sometimes we seek a partner because the other person's physique matches the expectations of the ego. It is also likely that as we approach them, one realises that there's actually a person in that body responding with free will. A person with a heart, feeling, emotions, expectations and desires. In all human interaction there's a feeling, and where there's feeling, what the mind created might be followed by the heart. Some could follow their mind, to render to love once they meet the person.
How we seek love is not important; In lust, in love, with the heart or the mind. What matters is that in our way back to love we explore our limitations and expand with each experience. Falling in love with the mind can cause a heart to break, and as it breaks, it opens when holding on to love.
What matters is that we love.
When falling in love, reasons are irrelevant. Love is not always a mutual feeling, in which case we may feel rejected. Asking why someone doesn't feel the same for us, as we feel for them is pointless. Feelings do not make any sense in the majority of cases, even though there could be a correlation with the feeling of previous experiences, or a pattern of love or rejection that has been developed by that person, and of which they're unaware.
Asking what's wrong with us doesn't work either. In most circumstances matters of the heart cannot be answered with rationale. There's nothing wrong with us. This is a perception that must be shifted, an old belief of incompleteness. Trying to mix reason with love leads to confusion, removing the feeling, heading inevitably towards doubt, worry and fear. Love is a feeling that does not need to be explained. I Am In Love is a powerful statement that answers all questions.
The feeling of falling in love is too beautiful to waste on longing or thought. Sometimes it is not meant to be. What is not meant to be must be accepted. However uncomfortable it might be, this situation also offers the perfect opportunity to transcend rejection. The first step is acceptance of what is.
In order to transcend the feeling of rejection, one holds on to the feeling of love. Thriving on the feeling of being in love allows to explore deeper emotions. This is an act of self-love. When allowing defeat at the feeling of rejection, we also deny ourselves the possibility to explore feeling further and deeper. It does take courage to face the pain, but the reward is incredibly superior and a much healthier option to the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that usually accompany rejection.
Hold on to love, feel the pain and set your heart on fire.
Stopping ego at this point from rejecting the other person is also essential. It is easier to resort to anger than to love, even when what we all want is love. Rejecting the other person because they rejected us suppresses love and the expression of the soul. Keep loving. Rejecting others, is a rejection of the self. All inner and outer expression that suppresses love is an act of aggression against the self. We're here to love, for love is all there is.
This is a way to reach love within, not outside. Humanity has attached the feeling of love to another person for too long. It is time that we go back to school and learn that love is always within. Feel the pain of rejection, while still in love and remain in love. Relying on someone else for love makes us vulnerable for the wrong reasons, giving away our power and somehow allowing others to control us.
By holding on to being in love, the feeling permits to detach from the person and remain in love. The first emotion that appears, being it rejection, fear or sadness is a veil that serves as a distraction in our quest of love. The reason why one surrenders immediately to this emotion is because it is familiar, and probably one to which we have been attached for most of our lives.
Holding on to love helps to increase self-esteem, confidence, personal power and it's the best tool one can use in personal development.
No one can follow their heart if they stop at the first negative emotion. The heart thrives in courage. And in love we dance with it.
Although in practice it might seem more difficult to follow the abstract of love, the emotion; it is much easier than to follow a person who doesn't want to be followed or loved. It's a matter of getting used to our own feelings, pride being one of them. Everyone loves being in love. To sacrifice that for a person who can't see it, nor feel it only helps to perpetuate the longing for love, turning it into an unattainable goal.
The more we feed rejection, the more we separate from love, eventually making ourselves unavailable to it.
The process can be as fast as we intend to. One must set the intention to remain with the feeling and add intensity. We can either focus thoughts on the other person or to remain with the feeling. People come and go. Love is always here.
The feeling of being in love is yours. That other person you may or may not have fallen in love with, is not. In the quest of love one must use and follow what we have, and at this point what we have is love.
As love is rejected by another, it is possible that they ask that we stop feeling or that we interpret that we have to stop feeling. We don't. We continue being in love.
The journey doesn't end here. As we keep the feeling of love and being in love, good things, good people and perhaps another person will come along. The heart keeps opening, expanding. Love attracts love. Being in love is a magnet to people who are receptive to love, increasing the possibility to fall in love with someone else, only that this time they might be open to it.
It might not be easy, but it is worth it.
Move beyond the first negative emotion. It's a challenge, nothing else. There's so much more to explore. A heart that is longing for you to begin with.
Be love. Fall In Love.
And say it loud and clear.
I Am In Love.
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Posted by Manel Blanco