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Men's International Day: Uncelebrated and Unmanned.



Every year, November 19th is the designated day for Men's International Day. The intention is to celebrate the achievements of men who are making the efforts to improve the state of the world and the well being of men. Not a sound was heard around the world this year, perhaps because men do not feel as we have anything to celebrate, or at least not much. It's not that there´s much to shout about after witnessing the crude reality of the #metoo movement, and what's the real state of society; what we´ve become as beings. Somehow we've fallen into an existential limbo in which we no longer know who we are or what direction to take. Not that we knew it before, we just lived under the illusion that we did. 

There are different ways in which to interpret such lack of interest. Although there's a debate about what it means to be a man in the current times, and a lot of men are doing good work to tackle the issues that so deeply and devastatingly affect society, it's not yet enough. More men need to join. 

Over the past few months, it has become obvious that the role of men, as it was encouraged to be by patriarchal society, needs a radical change. Despite of this fact, there's a large number of men opposing feminism or equality in fear that our fates will be dominated by women. Perhaps this is one reason why there's not unity among us to start a new and necessary dialogue. No matriarchal society has been been rule by a hierarchy. It's not in women's nature. 

There are important issues to discuss, such as male suicide or depression that it's spoken of in lower tones. These two issues alone are unspeakable among men, as it's not the way patriarchy meant it for us. No solutions can be found if men affected do not join the dialogue. The truth is, patriarchal society has a strong grasp on everyone, both men and women, even though we experience the consequences of it in different ways. 

Women simply had enough of years of suppression and submission. The demands they have are the natural ones that any human being would desire for a safe and peaceful living.

In the case of men, the consequences we experience are more subtle. Living under the impression that we're in control, that patriarchal society favours men over women or children because of our physical superiority or the false belief that we are the owners of reason is a story we liked to tell ourselves for too long. We might have liked it, but never enjoyed it, as there's no truth in such statement. The lie got to big, now too obvious. In so many ways we feel powerless to introduce or implement changes. 

And if men feel and are powerless is because since the beginning of patriarchy we're believed in a power that is not true power. We've never seen, nor experienced true power. 

The time has come to realise that within the parameters of patriarchal society we're mere servants to a hierarchy that neither has a face, nor a name. Patriarchy is an energy, and this presents the first problem. Most men do not join a conversation that proposes holistic solutions to today's spiritual decline, with the inevitable loss of values that allows a fair society. 

What energy means in this case is, that we have been following the same programming for such so long, that the people involved in organisations and institutions of power already function under a strict set of beliefs and patterns of behaviour.  

At this point, there are a number of questions that have to be raised. Why do men use our vital energy to fight the inevitable rise of women until everyone becomes equal? Why are we men not doing enough to stop violence against children and women, if everyone has a mother, a sister, a daughter, a female partner, a girlfriend or a wife? Why do we men so willingly join institutions which sole purpose is to kill other? The perpetrators are not always others. Someone has to be committing these crimes. 

But in regards to men, there's another important matter to discuss: why are we not using our vital energy and resources to create a more equal and better society for us as well. When someone wastes energy and efforts in sabotaging someone else's purpose, they're sabotaging themselves, as one of the paths to happiness is creative, not to destroy. It's easy to destroy. Anyone can do it.  

The masculine has wonderful qualities, most of which are not used, for the same reason mentioned above: by inertia we follow the patterns created by patriarchy without questioning it, and if/or we do, we fail to find, create or propose solutions. 

The unseen part of the issues that affect men is that, the men who are taking their lives or falling deeply in depressive states are ruled by emotions that we can hardly explain, as the separation from the heart -a legacy from patriarchy-, the most important organ that allows human beings to process feelings and emotions in healthy ways have been suppressed in men. This is a fact that can be observe in children everywhere. Continuing with the tradition, boys learn from older boys that boys don't cry, thus learning to cover up their emotions, which in the long term puts them at risk of becoming depressed adults that commit suicide when the see no end to their well hidden emotional problems. 

A new education is necessary in order to change the upbringing of male children in a more holistic and loving society, as well as male adults that face such issues. Another of the problems society and individuals face is that people still continue to believe that government and institutions will provide for such answers. They won't, as they follow established rules. 

Men's lack of interest or unity during Men's International Day should serve as a sign that we do not have a voice; that we might boast about manhood, our achievements and how fearless we say we are -without belief- over a couple of beers, but when it comes to important matters, we've been buying the message of a dysfunctional society in which everyone lives under one form of neurosis or another. 

It's man's refusal to admit that we're indeed vulnerable that does not allow people to enter more profound states of being, in which we begin to recognise who we really are, by remembering that we all once had a dream that does not match the current race of dog eat dog chasing money in an endless competition that leads nowhere. 

We are beings powerful beyond measure, but in order to rediscover such true power, first we must begin to recognise our vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable is part of being human.

It's every man's responsibility to ponder on all these issues and many others that affect the individual, society and others, so as to find the inner strength, which we do not use, even if we think that we might do. It's time to come to terms with reality and admit that we're bound by imposed limitations, and that this is all we belief. The old saying 'every man by himself' is no longer valid. What's to become of a society that doesn't have unity because we're losing all values that guarantee the universal rights of every human being are respected? 

The people who suffer, are as human and have the same rights, as those who make them suffer. To believe that we live in a civilised society that is clearly chaotic, cruel and cannibalistic is both, na├»ve and irresponsible; truly two characteristics that do not match the idea of being a man. It's perhaps time that men lose their fear to ask for help and find other men and resources that point in the right direction towards a more conscious and equal society. 

Patriarchy is falling to pieces, it's now everyone's turn to choose who's falling with it. 


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The following blog post provides information where someone may begin. 




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