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Seeking and Finding Your Twin Flame.

The search for the twin flame seems to be one of the main objectives for a large number of people. In order to understand this popular figure, who seemingly has acquired the status of indispensable in order to enjoy a loving and fulfilling life and relationship, there are several blog posts, which explain the process, as well as a book that shares all the necessary information to reach what many people believe to be a stage of completeness. Completeness with or through another person.

The decision to write about twin flames came after realising the general misunderstanding  of the subject; a fact that became obvious through multiple correspondence with readers, even before giving it written attention. It was never meant to be a major theme in this blog, nor had I the intention to write a book, which came to life due to reader's demands. 

The original intention, and one which remains, was to share concepts, tools, processes and experiences that could contribute to the healing and personal development of individuals and the collective. With this is mind, a large number of blogs posts were written on the importance of themes like truth, kindness, trauma, sacred sex or vulnerability to name a few. Since then, more than hundred and fifty titles have been shared with the public.

What's become obvious during this period is that a large number of readers focus their attention on twin flames' posts, while other articles that are perhaps more important remain ignored. At this point, it could be argued that people are free to choose the subject they're interested in, while disregarding the rest. 

Finding the right partner is wonderful. No one should settle for less than what they want. However, the popular obsession with meeting the twin flame causes to neglect looking deeper into one's own healing process. The trend shows the belief that love and happiness is only possible with another person. Not only this, in this case it has to be specifically the twin flame.

First, there's no guarantee that anyone will meet their twin flame in this lifetime. In many cases, the only guarantee that people have is that a 'psychic' said that they will. This is a poorly option for a guarantee, especially after paying for the information. Often, the twin flame is identified in a person who's already in another relationship, someone they might have an affair with or feeling a deep connection, creating further frustration and a more frustrating sense of worthlessness. Furthermore, it reinforces the belief of worthlessness, lack or being not enough, as the figure of the twin flame becomes unattainable. 

Let's not forget that the power of auto-suggestion is so high that we can convince ourselves of anything. It's a fact that we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. Without going into the self-critic mode, everyone has experiences of focusing their attention on something or someone, to later on realise that we might have been wrong in placing all our efforts on such targets. Any obsession can make us blind to the rest life can offer. When or if the obsession lingers through a long period in time, the result is the ignorance of not seeing or the unwillingness to see. 

At the same time, other important aspects in the healing process are abandoned. A large number of current relationships are simply mismatches born out of loneliness. There are steps in the inner journey that individuals have to go through alone. Call it loneliness, call it solitude; this is a period in which someone learns not only to provide for themselves while single not only the material, but the emotional and spiritual, creating also an intimate bond with the self in which they merge with abstracts such as trust, truth, etc. 

The purpose of the inner journey is to get to know the real self through reinforcing confidence, opening to trust, showing strength through vulnerability or to remain loving despite of lack or adversity, creating a new feeling based on knowing; to remember those qualities and gifts we once buried deep in order to protect the most beautiful parts of the self from a cannibalistic society.

Try and meet the twin flame or any other lover or relationship without trust, without truth, not knowing how powerful vulnerability can be in the inner journey. As per vulnerability, paradoxical as it is, there's a great misunderstanding of how powerful it can be. Popular belief says that it makes people weak, when in reality it does the opposite. The purpose is to be vulnerable and still remain loving, while experiencing perhaps a cocktail of buried emotions, such as jealousy, pride, envy or wrath, none of which belong to the real self.  

Being vulnerable allows to form healthy boundaries. Being hard only serves to create inflexible walls that thicken the bars around personal prisons and neurosis. It's the result of having lived for centuries in patriarchal society under the false belief that only the strongest survive. It's the most adaptable, not the strongest.

The idea of meeting the twin flame, the connection, the magic that comes with it, the fireworks that go along with might bring a satisfying view of a future with a new lover, but it's precisely the image of the horizon dreamed in a ecstasy of togetherness and the happily ever after what causes the blindness. 

There's much of the Disney fairy tale in the search of the twin flame. Would readers be interested in a blog post on the reality of fairy tales without the Disney imagery and how it relates to present reality or how it would help in the journey of the hero? Probably not.

This blindness is the unwillingness to explore other territories, which are essential in the inner journey in order to reach the promised land. The objective is to arrive at a better understanding of the self in relationships. It's essential to recognise one's own trauma, and not only understand how it has affected us, but how it contributed to the creation of character and personality, so as to see how we function on the world. 

Making the unconscious conscious allows to recognise what beliefs and ideas have led us to create inflexible patterns of behaviour and the relationships we have with ourselves and the world. 

It's necessary to learn how patriarchal society has affected each individual, both men and women, in order to begin to remove wrong beliefs with the purpose to find inner peace. So far, the world has touched the surface, but it's distracted by entertainment. While I agree and encourage the in the inner journey one has fun, not all fun is entertainment. It can be appreciated in the new age movement and the language that it has developed in which everything is love and light or positive thinking, which without clear methods only delivers 'enlightened' messages, but neglects to identify or treat or heal trauma. While dancing, singing and positive thinking may attract other loving and positive energies to entertain the occasion, it fails to reach the hidden gifts within the human being, as it remains based on the belief system of the Christian tradition. 

A clear example that illustrates this point and for which no ignorance is ignorant enough to allow any individual to face a twin flame or any other type of lover, is that at the first sign of love, the inner child appears again. Knowing which processes and/or understanding how life experiences affects us is indispensable to build a strong and healthy relationship. Once love appears, the child wakes up, and with it, vulnerability inevitably follows. During the honeymoon period one doesn't have to be concerned about these issues, but one of the reasons the honeymoon might turn to hell, lack of interest or apathy is due to people's tendency to return to the same patterns and habits of fear and indoctrination. 

It's essential to know what triggers you in order to avoid the same destructive patterns in relationships.

One could consider that their habits and patterns of behaviour are not that bad after all, that we're intrinsically good people. No one wants to think otherwise. But if this is the case, why is it that the loving actions of people can cause so much hurt in others? From parents, to siblings to friends to lovers, everyone has experienced someone's cannibalistic, with the consequent wound or trauma. 

While I've written extensively on relationships and will continue doing so, the purpose of this blog has always been the processes of the inner journey. It just happens that relationships are perfect platforms to explore the inner journey. The journey of the hero, as it's classically called, might be filled with darkness and painful times, but it's also one of self-discovery in which the possibility to meet the twin flame exists. However hard or difficult it might be, self-discovery making issues conscious makes life easier. 

Ignoring the unconscious doesn't mean that the trauma is not there, nor makes the problem go away. Not to mention what happens at the time of meeting a new lover who's already deep in the inner journey, what can result into an authentic savage experience that would likely end in separation, to leave us alone once again with a trauma that it's now visible. 

This blog post is not to discourage, nor to point out what anyone should do, but to encourage others to take the plunge into the inner journey and follow the necessary steps as they see appropriate. After all, everyone's inner journey is unique. 

The truth is that conformism and apathy plague humanity. 

In addition, the downfall in the search for the twin flame is that he or she could well be a friend of the same sex, a family member or someone who nevers appears, as people might be seeking from the comfort of their living room in their day dreams. This amounts to a life wasted in hope of a dream that has more to do with popular culture than reality. Another negative aspect of this may be that people may live an unfulfilled and unexplored life waiting for someone to arrive to safe the day. One the twin flame appears, each issue that has been ignore surfaces revealing the best and the worst in someone's personality. The problem with this is that there's no place to escape to other than ending the relationship. Say goodbye to the comfort zone in their presence. 

It is in the study and self-discovery of intimacy or how patriarchal society imposed a set of neurotic beliefs in both the individual and the collective, that help people to evolve. The more evolved people are, the more attractive they become to others, growing in confidence, knowledge and wisdom, while removing beliefs and patterns of behaviour that they might see as obstacle towards self-realisation. As we evolve, grow in knowledge and wisdom, we become more acceptance of what is, gain in presence enjoy more the present moment and perhaps realise that twin flame or not, a wonderful love story with them is also possible. I cannot think of a worse or better excuse to never love or allow ourselves to love than waiting for the twin flame to appear. 

The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon.

For soul readings visit this other page.

More on twin flames: 'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'


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