How Giving Oral Sex To Women Benefits Men In Relationships.
Men giving oral sex to women seems to continue being a taboo subject, both in discussions and in practice. It's a well known fact that the number of men skilled in the art of pleasing a woman orally is low. Women's complaints of neglect and lack of ability echoes all around the world in a period in which they had enough and decided to push for equality, as well as what they believe they deserve. The message is loud and clear for those who want to hear. These claims are what everyone without exception should have.
It's a fact that understanding women has been, and it still is today one of men's obsessions, as it is true that most men make little to no effort to explore a woman where it matters -not just her body-, so as to access this knowledge that can only be reached through a different kind of connection to what we had so far. A more sensual and humane approach. We have to meet women in their terms; the feared unknown. It's not possible to understand any individual or an entire gender by neglecting and ignoring their needs. How anyone could think that the understanding of a woman can be reached while ignoring such vital part of them is beyond reason.
Every woman is different, so even though it's possible to reach them all in certain ways, there is also a complex individuality that make the magic formula impossible.
The only logical reason not to give oral sex to a woman is because she has suffered genital mutilation, in which case, her body will adapt to be more sensitive to penetration, so as to enjoy it more, as well as to have orgasms. Female mutilation doesn't have the effect intended by men, as the human body is much more intelligent that any human mind, adapting to circumstances. In other words, a woman who has suffered genital mutilation can still enjoy sex very much.
None of the reasons given by men to not go down on a woman have any credibility. Claiming that the smell puts them off has an easy solution. In an intimate relationship one should be confident enough to ask for something as simple as cleanliness if this is the case. Intimacy requires a certain level of maturity in order to cover the basis of the relationship. Some people like it dirty, some people don't. It's as simple as asking. This is just an example of a reason given by many, but in essence, men who do not give oral sex to women simply do not like, nor respect that woman enough.
Giving oral sex to a woman benefits a man in ways that can only be understood through the experience of actually doing it. Life is about experience. Too often we dream of an adventure thinking that it's far away, when the adventure is actually right in front of us.
It's not a mechanical act. If a man wants the woman to respond, there has to be a level of trust. Mechanical movements might give away the impression that the giver is not interested or just wants to get on with it and finish. It's not a chore, but a passionate act of love. Hardly a woman would open up and let a man access to her deeper secrets if he doesn't really want to know. There are many ways of asking and not all of them are verbal.
It's important to consider the rest of the body, not just the clitoris, the labia or the vagina. It's a multi-tasking act that requires a man's full attention and intention. Attention to her body movements, in what direction she moves, how and why. In many ways she's silently directing the man towards what he has to do. A woman knows that a man wants to discover and find the mystery by himself. Women are far more instinctual and intelligent than what men would like to believe. The first time with a woman, oral sex might not reach its peak, as this is yet to come. This should not be discouraging and it's a good idea to swallow our male ego and admit that we're learning; that we don't know everything. There will be more opportunities to continue exploring her body, her sensations, her climax and how to lead her there.
Not knowing and allowing ourselves to learn is man's way to face his vulnerability in a playful way, which makes it more fun and easier to learn. Vulnerability does not always have to be a scary experience.
As every woman is different, the hands also play an important part, not only in her vagina and clitoris, but the rest of her body. On this she would also direct a man towards what she likes and what he should do. In most cases men do tend to ignore that a clitoris is just a part of a whole body, and that by stimulating it, we're also stimulating the rest of her anatomy.
There is no rush to get to the end, and as a man observes and pauses, he will gain more confidence in his skills. Oral sex turns into a synergetic experience. It's normal for a man to feel hesitant or fearful of his ability to please a woman in such way due to lack of experience or previous negative experiences, what can lead to rushing the act, therefore, the patience of a learner is necessary, as well as the curiosity of the adventurer. An observant man will soon realise that the woman is leading him towards the openness of her body, her climax and to a part of her self-expression that she doesn't show to anyone else. While she's enjoying it, she's not in a rush. This is a playful moment in which two people learn to communicate sensually and instinctively.
If a man is observant and patient, he will soon realise that he is doing things that he didn't know, which is natural in every adventure. At this point, not only is he learning about her, but about himself. It helps to develop emotional, as well as sexual intelligence.
While the man explores, getting to know this woman, she's most likely to lead, but it's also possible for the man to do so whether he is familiar with her body or not. Take into consideration that what humanity lacks most is touch, and when this is given with love during the sexual act, the level of satisfaction can only multiply. This is the reason why foreplay is essential in order to get to know each other's bodies, to begin to trust, to observe and familiarise with the other person.
A woman would allow a man to lead when he shows initiative, and if directing him, she would do so in the most subtle manner.
As the act advances, -the first or the fifth time-, a more confident man can only deliver a better service. At one point, when proximity and intimacy grow, this woman would begin to feel and have sensations that she probably never had before, also learning parts of herself that she had not previously experienced. This can be explained as simply as no one took the time to touch and reach her to that point.
Oral sex with the same woman can be different each time. There is a tongue, lips, finger, hands, sound, breath, words, movements and pause. Oral sex is the art of exploration of a woman's body and her sensations. It's a fact that the world suffers from lack of intimacy, but also receiving, as people are often conditioned to give and please others. Once a woman has reached the point in which she is open to receive, it's not only oral sex that she will accept, but other parts of a man who have not been expressed that far. In this part of intimacy, a man is planting seeds for a new universe to appear between him and a woman. Not all women are as receptive from the start. It does take care, love and trust to reach that point.
It doesn't only affect sex or oral sex, but it leads to more open and intimate relationships and conversations, which can be conducted in a similar way. Patience, trust, observation do help to recognise the right timing.
Pause alone can lead two people to a different dimension provided they're both in tune with the sensations of the act.
One fact that might surprise most men is that while giving oral sex, they do develop parts of themselves such a patience. While doing it is arousing, in the waiting time, a man gains what is required to last longer during sex. Rush is not a good friend in sex.
Being able to please one woman might allow to please other women, but as there is no magic formula, he would have to learn again the mechanisms and movements. There are, of course, men who can please most women orally. These men have taken their time to explore, learn and actually enjoy it. The effect at the first interaction will never be the same. Intimacy and in this case oral sex can be a magical journey that improve the quality of sex between two people if the time is taken. Something else that a man might want to consider is that no one else will reach there; not before, not after, hence, it's worth taking the time to care about the person who chooses to have sex with us.
Oral sex or any other type of sex that so far has been considered an act to please the self and others has incredible ways to open up new worlds for both men and women, if we choose to pause and look at the other person with the same care that we would like to receive ourselves. The fact is that it doesn't end in just oral sex. When new sensations arise, new worlds emerge and this can only cause a person to expand and evolve, and if done together, it can lead to an incredibly solid relationship, which is not just based on sex, but love, respect and the natural curiosity to explore the other person.
It does also help men to explore and develop sensuality and playfulness; two aspects that men seriously need to develop.
If we don't know more about our partners it's only because we don't take the time to explore ourselves or others. This is due to the automatic pilot fuelled by self-righteousness and the urgency to be always right in order to hide our insecurities and limitations.
There are more benefits for men in giving oral sex to women than the ones mentioned above, but let her lead you there, and allow yourself to find out. She will definitely open up, but can you?
Needless to say, that oral sex is not the magic key to keep relationships going, but as a couple become more intimate, it begins to open doors leading towards people's needs. It's worth taking the time and discover who our partners are if we want a relationship to be successful.
Finally, this blog post is written for men, and with the intention to serve as a guidance that encourages men to explore new aspects, ideas and perspectives in sexual relationships, as as to contribute to improve and achieve better relationships between men and women. The key to success is getting down to it and find out. We have reached a period in history, in which men have to choose between being a man or continue being boys. The choice is always yours; and it's this choice what would make a difference in your life.
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Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul And The Miracle Of Love.
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