Men And Relationships: The Nice Man 'Syndrome'.

Personally I believe that the word nice should be removed from language and common expression. It's lacks substance. It also the first time I use it in this blog. 

Nice men feel undermined and misunderstood. From their perspective they see how day after day, chance after chance, women tend to choose relationships or affairs with bad boys, knowing that the latter will not treat them right. Women know this too, but it is a much more thrilling choice to the alternative. Women want to be moved, seduced and be taken for a ride, even though the end result might not meet their expectations. 

There's an element of recklessness and danger to the bad boy, which at first gives the impression of adventure. It might be a bad choice, but it's certainly an exciting one. At least whilst it last. 

Women perceive nice men as weak, lacking in that sense of adventure that other men have. Not all women of course. However functional they are in society, nice does not always amount to good. Good from the understanding that the choices made due the development of character and personality in order to fit in society, constantly doing their best not to upset the established system or others can be counter-productive. 

There's something wrong with being 'nice', as this is a quality that, for innocuous, it is convenient to others. It is, therefore, submissive. This kind of personality does not represent a threat to anyone. However, being too nice may lead to depression for several reasons, which can be summed up in one short statement: seeing all vibrant opportunities in life escaping time after time.

Ask yourself if you're being nice only because you want to be accepted and liked. Nice men may also have problems feelings their emotions.

The nice man is the antithesis of the bad boy. Both have to meet in the middle. As the soul bearers we are, we are here to explore and expand through creation. Human beings are creators. For this purpose we must go on an adventure, even if this is only in the imagination, to follow the dream. Somewhere within the dream, there is magic. 

What nice men might not understand is how after they conform to everything, cause harm to no one and follow all the rules, they remain invisible to others, especially women. I would never recommend to stop being good, but would strongly recommend to stop being nice. Doing the right thing is always a good choice. However, man made rules do not always match to the desires of an ever expanding soul. One of course cannot move from being 'nice' to being reckless. 

Women find nice men boring and lacking in edge. This doesn't make women feel safe. This kind of behaviour is closely tuned in to the divine feminine. In order to expand and grow it is necessary to explore the connection with the divine masculine, as nice men already possess many of its qualities, but lack the aggressive nature of the shadow masculine energy that currently devastates the world. 

Through my work with clients, I have observed that nice men carry an underlined anger within. This might be due to negative experiences. The common one in of all them is that they lost their girlfriends, wives or lovers to men with a deeper sense of adventure. What appears to be 'nice' at the surface, might not be that nice in their inner world. This anger is subconsciously repressed, causing internal suffering that may be expressed at times as passive aggressive behaviour.

Everything is energy. Even hidden intentions that one might not be aware of can be felt by others. The fact that women do not feel safe with nice men, does not always relate to the romantic idea that men would fight anything and anyone for them. Women do not like violence. 

A hidden energy transmits messages and intentions that can be picked by others. Women are intuitive and pick on such things easily.

To go on an adventure one does not have to leave the physical comfort that one has created in their lives, but to go on an inner journey. It is the greatest exploration of all. The good news is that one can reinvent themselves at any time, regardless of age and personal circumstances. 

The main reason why we, as a race, do not grow and develop to our full potential is due to all the impositions and boundaries we imposed on ourselves,both personally and collectively, in order to be accepted. No matter what one does or how well behaved they are, there's always going to be others out there who won't like us. Personal transformation takes time and it does not happen from one day to the other. It's not something one can do with the mind either. It's a matter of feeling. Be good, but stop being nice, so as to become a better person, a better man. Speak up instead of the dreams and desires of your soul.

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