A Quick Word On Understanding Women: By Understanding Others, We Understand Ourselves.
A month I published a blog post, 'Leadership tips for men: Understanding women'. Considering that "women are the biggest mystery of the universe" is one of the most tiresome and humourless jokes in the world, I expected a better reception than the one that had at the time of publishing, even though I had already foreseen the lack of interest. When I wrote it, I already said that lack of interest would cause the series to be cancelled and until today I have seen no reason to write on the topic again. The fact that the only questions, comments and requests, as well as being the majority of readers, were women, only shows that men still want to be understood without making an effort to understand others. It cannot longer be our way only, we have to meet somewhere in the middle.
No one is under any obligation to understand anyone else, but understanding others opens new channels for better communication. The reason I am writing this new blog post is to respond to the needs of a reader. And yes, she is a woman. Although I am writing this blog post from the perspective of understanding women, the same principle applies to understand men. There cannot be a healthy communication between man and woman if we do not make an effort to understand who they are, what they want and why feelings and emotions come out in daily situations.
The problem that most couples face is not only lack of communication, but the fact that we take our partners for granted. Taking someone else for granted is an open invitation for them to take the high road. If you have not yet read the first blog post and you were interested in the topic, above there is a link that will take you to it.
Today I am going to suggest that men happily agree to go shopping with a woman. The intention is to see what they buy and why they buy it. There is much more than shopping. By now most men reading this must shaking their heads. The expectation and the anticipation of what a shopping trip might be is what truly kills the experience. This is the shopping experience and any other experience we might face. Expectation is a killer, so I am going to suggest that people go on a shopping trip with the intention to be surprised. It does not have to be a torture. We face what we project. Avoidance will never make our fears to go away.
Shopping does not mean to go hunting for shoes only. There are many types of shopping. The woman you chose to be with, probably liked shopping before she met you and most likely you knew of the activities she enjoyed before the relationship started. When a man excludes himself completely from some of the activities of a woman, he is also separating from her heart.
As someone who is the worst possible customer for shops, I wouldn't recommend anyone to go shopping, but we all need to by something every now and then. This experience has a different purpose.
When and if you agree to this trip, you go without asking anything in return. What you get in exchange is to be one step closer to understand the woman you love. If you are not in a relationship, you can choose go with a friend.
Be creative and flexible. Show initiative, go to a farmers market or to any other market nearby. Turn the occasion into a date, stop for a coffee, a drink or a snack. If the outing takes longer, you can both stop for another coffee, visit a different place where to take a break and perhaps end the day having something to eat in a different restaurant. Make it light and simple and enjoy it. The intention is to enjoy the trip with a woman, so as to learn what motivates them to go shopping and why they buy what they buy.
Relationships crumble because of small details like this. Accompanying a woman on a shopping trip will allow you to learn part of who she is. Even if this teaching is not done consciously, this woman is trying to show you part of who she is. When the experience is shared, the objects they buy become secondary. What they want is company, understanding and love. And understanding a woman is also a great expression of love.
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Posted by Manel Blanco