The path to self-love is not an easy one. A lifetime lacking in practice plays against us and somehow when things don't go as planned, we tend to go back to old habits. I would like to remind everyone, that there is no order, no rules in this series. Timing is important. When the time comes you will know. Don't beat yourself up if you can't follow. There is no following, but leading. You decide. Always.
Perhaps also to remind you that breaks are normal. Taking a break does not mean that we begin again. This is an important fact to remember. Everything that you did in your life takes you to this point. We are not beginning, but continuing with the process.
This week there is only one suggestion: Letting go of toxic relationships. We all know what relationships are damaging and stop us from progressing in life. There are relationships which are already established from birth, the ones that lie within the family. We all have one that family member. The suggestion in this case is not to break up such relationship completely, but perhaps to distance ourselves from them, stop listening to others and do what you really want to do. Listen to yourself.
There is another kind of family member, and this is the one who has taken advantage of us in one way or another causing damage deliberately. Familial affiliation neither entitles them to abuse their position, nor chains anyone to remain attached to them. I could describe several examples of the abusive situations that too often occur within the family environment, but you already know the pain and suffering these people brought to your life. And this is a decision that only you can make.
When we let go of toxic relationships the first two things others will throw at us are shame and guilt. This is done in order to manipulate the outcome. It is their shame as it is their guilt. Stop listening and cut it completely. We all have people around who do not want us to succeed, improve or advance in our journey. Everyday we have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves in any way we choose. Some people would frown and judge at what we do regardless of what what we want. Some others would go as far as to sabotage everything we try to do. Do you have a 'friend' who is always around that suddenly disappears when you need help, but they're always present when help is what they need?
Look out for those people who are always critic with your actions even when your journey is positive and constructive. They will remind you of something you did in the past. Cut the cords with these people. They do not want your happiness even when they appear friendly and kind in situations which are convenient to them. By reminding you of past actions their only intention is to keep you chained to the past to stop you enjoying the present and to build a better future. Whatever you did in the past cannot be changed. What is important is what you are doing today, now and here.
A trait which clearly identify the kind of people is that they are constantly seeking after an apology. The intention is to keep us apologising for the rest of our lives. If the first apology does not work and you apologise again, they will come back fishing for me. The stir the past at any opportunity they have, especially in situations that have nothing to do with past episodes. This is a very effective way of draining your vital energy. Do not apologise again and do not explain again. When they claim that what they want is clarity, it is not your responsibility to find clarity for them. No matter how many times and how often you apologise and explain, they will always come back for me. When we comply with such unreasonable demands, we are their prisoners. It is time to set yourself free.
Take a deep breath, stall tall, firm and say so long to them. Do so with love and a smile, but let them know that it is time to move on. This is your life and it is your right to live it in the best way you can. Those who are never happy for you, are not happy themselves and will do everything to stop your happiness. It is your choice now. It is not an easy task to take on, but it is one of the most important decisions we can make in life. Self-love is simply impossible with toxic people around.
If you missed the past few weeks on these series and you'd like to learn more about it, here are the link to WEEK FOUR where you will find the links to previous weeks.
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