Comfort food may seem a good idea at the time and maybe even necessary every now and then. For the past few months I have experimented with food to experience what and how the food industry functions and what is doing to all of us. What follows is an account of it, raw as it comes.
In this experiment I make my own fast food with the occasional home delivery and ready made meals. It might be healthier than a chain fast food and certainly cheaper, but it sends me off track almost immediately. The results are disastrous. I feel bloated, if not all the time during parts of the day due to the intake of salt. As I am treating myself to fast food, mostly sandwiches, salt has an overwhelming effect on my body. To compensate, I have cravings for sugary treats and for a while I indulge. It does have the expected effect, but of course not the healthy one that I would like.
Bloating takes over my body. I feel sluggish. My eyes are droopy and I am constantly tired. I want to sleep, but I obviously can't. I just got up and my body is rested. It's only an illusion. I gain weight immediately. I know it's all water retention and in order to counteract the effect of salt, I drink from three to six litres of water daily. Still to no avail. I am always thirsty and no amount of water seems to satisfy my thirst. I am constantly hungry and even when I am not hungry I want to eat, but of course I don't want to eat anything healthy.
Even though I know my body is craving for fruit and vegetables, what comes to mind is a quick fix of salt or sugar. There seems to be no way to stop these cravings resulting in eating more than I should or want to. It also causes me to spend more money than I should. As I feel sluggish and constantly fatigued, some days I use all the energy left to order some food. After all it's Friday, but after-all-it's-Friday becomes after-all-it's-Saturday-and-Sunday and why not on a Monday too. The immediate consequences do not matter as long as I get my fix.
I need a coffee first thing in the morning to wake me up, although coffee doesn't always work. I also experience cravings for beer. The attitude is, why not? Beer contains yeast and gluten; ingredients I should not put in my body, but as the experiment is about going through the unhealthy effects in indulge. I know that beer is not going to fix it either. Nothing seems to satisfy the cravings. They are constant and come more frequently.
As the immediate physical consequences of feeding my body with this kind of food is very unpleasant, as soon as I finish the last slice of pizza the determination is to return to a healthy diet the following day. The intention is there, but as soon as I get up in the morning that determination wears off. There is always another tomorrow.
Visiting the supermarket doesn't make this process better. I can buy two ready meals for £4, while the cost of the ingredients for a healthy home made meal amounts much more. It is also the fact that as soon as I get home the meal would be ready within five minutes. The cost of buying canned food is three times cheaper than the same fresh produce. One would think that the process to can five tomatoes would make it more expensive. Someone wants us fat, lazy and unhealthy and this is the food industry, with the acquiescence of governments. Food prices do not match salaries and what most people can afford. It is possible to survive on canned food for as little as £1 per day, and that is unfortunately the reality of many people today.
I cannot breathe properly. The influx of air does not reach my stomach. The nasal cavities also seem to be blocked. Somehow I feel anxious. I know I need to drink more water, but frankly, I cannot be bothered and I don't have the energy to move. Vital energy is very low.
Physical symptoms in this kind of diet are not the only effects. I keep working and doing what I have to do, but I do feel lazy and willing to stop working as soon as possible. But certain things are left for the next day, as they are not that important. Soon I realise that some things have been neglected for too long even if they were not that important. This is one sure way to increase the levels of stress, which in turn would bring more emotions, feelings and cravings, which no doubt would bring more unhealthy food and back to square one the next day.
Going for a long walk seems an ordeal. The body is heavy and the pace is slower. I want to stop every twenty minutes to sit and have a coffee. More money goes and it keeps me away from experiencing a long walk by the sea. I don't feel as I have the energy for it. I have to force myself to move and go out. Of course when I do and walk I feel better, but often the sluggishness and apathy get the best of me and I delay the moment. This is the same for anything else that requires physical activity. The effect of food and toxins intake work like an anchor reducing my movement and stopping from fully enjoying living the present in hope for a better tomorrow.
None of this is experienced without thoughts and feelings. Although I can process feelings very well as I observe them and I know they're not real, I still have them for a few seconds. I don't feed thoughts with inner conversations and don't react to feelings or emotions, as I simply let them flow, but it feels uncomfortable. This is the only reason I can afford to put myself through such an experience. I know I can let it go and change it at the right time. As soon as half of the pizza is gone guilt appears, as well as ambivalence; indecision. Should I finish it tonight or leave it for tomorrow? Another slice provides immediate comfort and I keep going until it is completely gone. I've eaten twice as much as I should have.
The process is a crude confirmation that food produces emotions, feelings and thoughts and none of them are positive. I can feel sadness, as if somehow I don't love myself enough, and certainly following a diet like this I don't, but if this helps even one person to gain knowledge and insight in order to improve their life, it is worth it.
Paranoia attacks. Opening a letter from the bank is an ordeal. One of this letters tells me that my bank owes me over £200 to confirm that negative feelings and thoughts are useless and we should not pay any attention to them. They don't change life, we do. There is slight anger and even fear. These are feelings I don't experience, as I keep doing what I have to do. Nothing is real.
It also affects somehow my sense of self-worth and confidence. As I feel uncomfortable I believe that everyone around is going to feel it and in a way they are. It doesn't stop me from going out and mixing with people and I definitely don't complain or have conversations about it with anyone. It is my choice and I face the consequences alone. Today, however, I can share it. The belief that I am not defined by others is still strong, but I know that if I continue with the process for a few more months I will end allowing this feeling to become my reality.
What this experience shows is that comfort food makes us feel unworthy, overweight and produces an overwhelming amount of feelings and unwanted emotions, which can turn our lives into a nightmare. It is a vicious circle, not easy to break from. I have broken with it already and will write a different blog post on the experience.
There is much more information to share about this process in different writings, such as food consumption and physical attraction, as well as the law of attraction, vibrational levels and consciousness. As this is an important topic, I will be happy to write on demand if anyone else was interested, so please leave your comments so as to see what comes next. This is a serious matter and if not tackled globally will certainly keep us low in mood and consciousness. We do have all the answers we need to improve our lives. The path to this is to raise consciousness, but how can we do this if our habits unconsciously keep us from doing so?
The truth which became clearer in the process is that this is slow food poisoning, and it is not only the body that suffers, but the mind and the soul by prolonging the low levels of individual and collective consciousness.
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